Search the Community
Showing results for tags 'derecho'.
Found 2 results
*** The Mad must've been let loose on a retarded field trip to the Brokenspear Tavern... *** *** ...so Derecho buys her drink and takes it elsewhere to enjoy. *** Shokkra grunts. [Derecho]: Hi dere [Shokkra]: Hey. Shokkra eyes you up and down. [Derecho]: Did ya be thinkin to get drinks for yaself before leavin da bar? [Shokkra]: Nah. Good for now. Drink after I fight. Aaren tilts her head to the side. [Derecho]: Oh ay [Derecho]: WHo ya be fightin? [Shokkra]: Alliance tonight. [Derecho]: Be picturing that bull's head on a few o dem for me, okie dokie? [Shokkra]: ...what? [Shokkra]: OH. [Shokkra]: Right, yeah. [Derecho]: And be punching him hard. You cackle maniacally at Shokkra. [Shokkra]: Sure thing. [Derecho]: Who ya be? [Shokkra]: Shokkra Deathrage, Guardian of Sanctuary. You? [Derecho]: I be not havin shuch fancy titles. Just Derecho. [Shokkra]: Aka'magosh, Derecho. Aaren smiles a little and nods. "Aaren." You greet Aaren warmly. [Derecho]: Ya be fightin too elfie? [Aaren]: Nah. Not tonight. [Derecho]: Ya can be sittin here by me den. [Derecho]: Ya got ya a drink? [Aaren]: Yeah, I always got a drink. [Aaren]: Drink's better too when it's quiet, like over here. Aaren looks around at the fog covering the ground, but she refrains mentioning it. [Shokkra]: Prefer places where I can fuckin' see my feet at least. Aaren quietly snickers to herself. [Derecho]: It being better than wit sourpusses like dat oder guy. [Derecho]: What, ya be fearing they run off witout ya? Aaren grins wickedly. [Shokkra]: I weigh these fuckers down too much. Wouldn't get very far in the boots. [Derecho]: Best not be falling in any deep water holes [Aaren]: Plate and water don't sound like friends. You cackle maniacally at Aaren. [Shokkra]: Bah, we get trained to swim in fuckin' plate. Shokkra flexes her muscles. Oooooh so strong! [Derecho]: Be f-fallin to da bottom like ya be an anchor. [Aaren]: Well, always a use! Aaren taps her foot on the ground a couple times before sitting down. [Derecho]: Ya be fightin alliance all of de time? [Shokkra]: Eh, gives me shit to do. Good training. [Derecho]: May it be I be doin dat after I get de idea o tings better. [Aaren]: I don't really fight much myself. But I never stood on the front line either. Shokkra grunts. Aaren points to Shokkra. "That one just gets mad when people hit her." She follows her comment with a snicker. [Shokkra]: Like any normal fuckin' person. [Derecho]: Ya be gettin mad too bitty elfie! It be hurtin [Derecho]: Want me be showin ya? You cackle maniacally at the situation. [Aaren]: I'm always mad, though! [Derecho]: Really? [Derecho]: Why dat be? [Aaren]: Probably. That's what I hear, anyway. [Shokkra]: You mean bitchy, Aaren. [Shokkra]: I'm always angry. [Aaren]: Same thing! [Derecho]: No no NO [Shokkra]: Bitchy's more elf-y. [Aaren]: Hey, I know this one troll that's pretty bitchy! [Derecho]: Who be? [Shokkra]: Oh yeah? Who? [Aaren]: I ain't shayin any names. Then they'll find out and come try to cave my face in. Shokkra snorts. [Shokkra]: Coward. [Aaren]: I'm not a coward. I'm shmart. [Derecho]: Hmm Aaren grins wickedly. [Derecho]: Ya be sayin anyting ya want. It not like words be sticks an stones, ya be knowin? [Shokkra]: Yeah, coward. [Aaren]: The words are harmless until the wrong people hear them. Shokkra snorts. [Derecho]: People be offended by every stray word flying in dere ears, may it be dey should stuff dem full of cotton balls. [Aaren]: Oh I don't give a fuck about people being offended. Sometimes they just want to act on it and I don't feel like dealing with it. [Aaren]: I got enough bullshit to deal with, enough people to watch my back around. [Derecho]: Let dem be tryin! You growl menacingly. [Shokkra]: Most of 'em are good at it. You peer at Shokkra searchingly. Aaren shrugs. Who knows? [Derecho]: Ya be tinkin like an orc. [Shokkra]: Well I am a fuckin' orc. Aaren quietly snickers to herself. [Aaren]: A damn good one to pay some gold and throw at your problems, sometimes. [Derecho]: I be knowin! Always so fixed on de enemy ya be seein right afore ya eyes. Ya be missin da rapta dat come at ya from de shadows. [Shokkra]: If a raptor comes from the fuckin' shadows I'll throw it at the fuckers in front of me. You smile at War Raptor. You cackle maniacally at Shokkra. [Derecho]: If ya be livin long enough to be seein it. [Shokkra]: That's what the damn armor's for. You eye Shokkra up and down. [Derecho]: Relax mon. [Derecho]: No raptas be huntin ya here. Shokkra grunts and rolls her shoulders. [Aaren]: Beasts, demons, what else have you been killing lately? A sly smirk spreads across Aaren's face. [Shokkra]: Eh, my liver. [Aaren]: That one'sh easy though. [Aaren]: Maybe the rest of it too. Shokkra shrugs. Who knows? Aaren peers at Shokkra searchingly. Aaren shrugs. Who knows? [Derecho]: Ya be lookin bitty. What ya got to be drinkin hard enough to hurt ya liver for? Ya don't be regeneratin like I be doin. Aaren waves. You wave goodbye to Aaren. Farewell! [Shokkra]: Just a joke. But mostly firewater, slammers, Blackrock Ale, Cherry Grog, Nitro-Fuel. [Derecho]: Sure ting, but why? [Shokkra]: Helps take my mind off shit mostly. [Derecho]: What ya be avoidin wit ya mind? May it be talkin can help just as good as da drink. [Shokkra]: Crushing stress. The threat of mortality. Normal shit. [Derecho]: Ya not be likin de idea of d-dyin someday? [Shokkra]: Not anymore. [Derecho]: Ya be not likin de idea anymore, or ye be meaning not anymore like it be okay now, it don't be botherin ya anymore? [Shokkra]: Don't like the fuckin' idea of dying anymore. Glorious death in combat seems... not worth it. Derecho snorts. [Derecho]: Death be not glorious. [Shokkra]: Sure as hell is sometimes. [Derecho]: May it be the act dat got ya dere was, but dyin itself be lonely and just bad, mon. [Derecho]: I can be seein why dat be a reason for drinkin [Shokkra]: Yeah. [Derecho]: But everybody dies, okie dokie? [Derecho]: Why worry? [Shokkra]: Too many people I care about. I want to live, with them. For them. [Derecho]: Well den, what da spirits ya be doin gettin drunk den? Knock it off, pour it out, and go get to bein wit dem! Dumb orc. [Shokkra]: Well I fuckin' can't be with them every fuckin' second of my life and when I'm not I think about all the crazy shit and start drinking again. Derecho mimes crying. [Derecho]: Oh boohoo! [Derecho]: I be so sad I can't be findin new friends to be fillin me time wit, so I be so sad I drink meself to my death dat I be so scared of! [Shokkra]: Oh fuck off. I get enough of this shit from other fucking people. Last thing I care about is some random fuckin' troll's opinion on my damn life. [Derecho]: Well ya either be wantin ta fix it, or ya not be. Not like one random troll bitty gonna start spouting wisdom ya be listenin to if ya don't be wantin to hear it. [Derecho]: I be hearin way worse tings to be drivin moods low, any how. [Shokkra]: I get all the fuckin' wisdom I need from every other self proclaimed philosopher. You cackle maniacally at the situation. [Derecho]: I not bein any philo what ever. [Derecho]: I just be talkin. [Derecho]: Just be words, mon. [Shokkra]: And giving out advice like everyone else. [Derecho]: Ya want be confirmin a rumor for me? [Derecho]: Oh ay. I can be shuttin up. [Derecho]: Me momma be sayin I talk too much. You shrug. Who knows? [Shokkra]: Might be. Derecho stays quiet for a long while, sipping her cocktails, but it's quite obvious she's itching to open her pie hole. [Shokkra]: That doesn't mean you have to completely shut up. [Derecho]: Okie dokie. [Derecho]: Well be tellin me true- dere really be like a legion of demons comin for us all? [Shokkra]: Yeah. [Derecho]: And den [Derecho]: Hmm [Derecho]: Ya be Sanctuary, ya said. Ya really be gettin fought on by dat odder guild? I be forgettin which [Shokkra]: The Grim? Yeah, almost a year ago. [Derecho]: A whole year ya two been goin at it?! Shokkra laughs. [Shokkra]: No no, almost a year since we made a treaty. [Derecho]: Oh [Derecho]: So dey be playin nice like now? [Shokkra]: No. Just not open warfare. [Derecho]: I be hearin bad tings, mon, and I not be knowin what all to be believin [Derecho]: Hmm Lupinum points at Shokkra. [Shokkra]: My turn? Lupinum nods at Shokkra. [Shokkra]: Attune me bitch. [Lupinum]: Make me proud, you worthless, dried gronnsack. [Derecho]: Oh ay! [Derecho]: It be de voodoo peeper. You grin wickedly at Lupinum. Lupinum blinks at you. [Shokkra]: I always fuckin' do you fucking piece of shit. Lupinum snorts derisively at Shokkra. [Derecho]: I sorry I be makin her grumpy I tink. [Lupinum]: Her? [Shokkra]: I'm always fuckin' grumpy. [Lupinum]: Took the words out of my mouth. [Derecho]: She be fighin better dough, most like. You shrug at Shokkra. Who knows? [Derecho]: Ya be havin any advice for a bitty troll den, afore ya be l-leavin? Lupinum blinks at you. [Shokkra]: Kill shit quick. [Lupinum]: Keep your tusks sharp? You salute Shokkra with respect. [Lupinum]: That's a thing you people do, right? You cackle maniacally at Lupinum. Shokkra salutes you with respect. [Shokkra]: Mok'rah, Derecho. [Derecho]: I be strikin like a rapta soon, don't ya be worrin none. [Lupinum]: Like a raptor? Lupinum giggles at you. [Derecho]: Tell ya friend. She be knowin Lupinum raises an eyebrow. [Lupinum]: Alright. Stay safe. Lupinum smiles at you. Lupinum turns on his heel.
It's been a bad day. One of the worst I've had in a while. I fumbled everything. I literally fell off the ground. That I'd happened to land amidst a small group of people, one of which I knew, well that turned out not to be all that great either. I ate... of course I ate. Over the last few days, I have not been satisfied until I was near to bursting and then, the pain of it finally drowned out the craving. The all-encompassing need to consume, to chew, to swallow, to fill. Some of the time I had to access to real edible food. Sometimes I was not so lucky. I've eaten pinecones. Tree bark. Dirt. Things no rational animal would. But they fed me, Lilliana and her friends, with real meat, and I managed to catch a few fish. Then the bitch gave me some brew that sets you on fire when you drink it. I was clever enough to figure out the way of it. Drink like a dwarf, they suggested. So I did, and stubbornly drank two more. I was thirsty. If you chase the sulfuron slammer with another drink, it puts out the flames almost instantly. Still, SHE SET ME ON FIRE. I don't think its funny. I hate the flames. It's one of those days. So I decide that maybe its a good day for a drink. The Cantina is tonight, I'm pretty sure, and I'm hungry. Lilliana reminded me, and I want to go and watch. She is much stronger than I expected, and I need to plan carefully. Maybe she will be there. A good predator observes their prey for weakness. I go to the boat. Instead of the nice troll bartender, there is a goblin that greets me instead. But there are other trolls. A new male I have yet to charm. Maybe he will ply me with drinks in exchange for the vague hope of sex. Maybe he will feed me. The goblin asks me what I want. I tell her anything but a slammer. No more fire for me! She hands me a drink that warms my very soul, in a fuzzy round coconut half. It is extremely sweet and clings to the lips, allowing me to savor the taste of it instead of merely gulping it down to feel my throat work. Tahzani shuffles by, busy in his rounds, but tells me to make myself at home, so I do. There is an absurdly large driftwood chair set up like some kind of beach throne, sheltered beneath a canopy umbrella. I claim it, and survey the kingdom of the deck from this position of leisure. Why had no one claimed this spot? It is fantastic. The other troll watched me travel to the chair, which also happens to be right next to him. It is perfect. "Well, hello dere." He puts his mug down to greet me. I smile at him, and he returns a strange, coy sort of smirk. This is the start of the mating ritual that he doesn't know is doomed to fail. "Hi back at ya. Who you be?" I question him. On the other side of the boat, a forsaken in an absurd hat begins loud introductions. He is tailed by a young orc child, and seeing them irritates me immediately for some reason. Still, I have the troll's attention fully. He continues to smile, "Ah be Harkinic." He rises to his feet, and bows down quite low in an exaggerated display to me, "And who joo be....?" His eyes roam up and down my form. I play the game. "Who ya want me to being?" Harkinic settles back down on his haunches, lifting his mug into a big hand, "Joo be who joo want, ah would be hoping." He responds gruffly, still eying me. The undead pirate is apparently one of the purple ones. He goes greeting his 'commodore' at the opposite railing, which is fine by me, as it adds distance between us. "I be called Derecho, most often," I tell my potential sugar daddy, and I add a smirk for good measure. "Da who joo really want da be?" He returns the expression, his face easily sliding into it. He's mine. I don't really have to play anymore. I tell him honestly "It be not mattren none too much what I be wantin now-days." I shrug, not quite sure why I told him that. Voices from across the deck snatch my attention. Two pandaren sit in the corner behind the wind gauge, and the male said something about food for certain. "Joo be needing a drink?" Harkinic asks me. He finishes his in a big gulp for the excuse to summon the bartender for more. "Sure ting," I agree. The pandas are still discussing a feast. My mouth waters. My companion summons the goblin, who comes over as she's hollaring that the bears won't be fed unless they pay up-front. It seems the two have just met and are in a courtship dance much like I am. He wants to double an order already placed for himself. I hope they've paid. Tahzani receives the request as he's halfway up the ramp with food. His arms are laden on both sides with layered and heavy dishes piled high, and his brow runs with sweat from having been preparing them below in the hot galley. He receives the updated order silently, though I see his eye twitch. Ever the gracious one, he says he'll have it done right away, and he carefully hands over what he has so far. I don't think they even noticed the tone used or the slight hesitation. Tahzani works very hard. I don't like these pandas. I am distracted when the goblin, whose name I've heard is Bayonnii, breaks my line of sight, finally summoned by Harkinic. "Ya need a drink, or..?" "Hells yes!" I cry, as he presses coins into her hand and tells her not one with fire. The new drink is no where near as satisfying as my first ones, but they are wet. I'm disappointed, but I lie and thank him anyway. Tahzani returns, again looking like an overburdened pack animal. I stare at the bears and their hugely excessive feast. I hate them, but I want what they have. My stomach clenches without sound, demanding. I wait until Tahzani has unloaded everything extra at the panda's table before waving to summon him. He shuffles over, assuming I have an order. "Everybody good heah?" comes his question, automatic. "Tahzani," says I, "How ya doin?" Instead of answering, he asks "Jah two okay ovah heah?" I think we are, so I say so to put his mind at ease. He takes it as his cue to leave. "Aight. Lemme know if jah need anytin' den" I'm irritated. "Ya lady mate be trouble!" I call. "Capital-like Tee." He stops two-thirds of the way through the automatonic query to other patrons. "Pardon me?" "Ya girl. Shhe been actin up. ...hic!" The hiccup surprises me completely, and I find it both funny and strange, this uncontrolled flux of my diaphragm. For a brief moment I'm intrigued by the shift of my insides, and then I feel bad for antagonizing Tahzani. My pettiness subsided, I want to apologize. "I be not knowin if ya want be knowin, so I done told ya." I don't quite manage it, see. Tahzani just stares at me dully, " Tanks fah de news." My ire rekindles, but not at him. For the woman that caused such a lacklust of passion in this troll. Lilliana. I have another motive, as if I needed it. Maybe he's working too hard? Maybe he just needs to sit and relax and not be a bartender or mate to a three-faced bitch. Maybe he needs a break. I peer at him, realizing this. "Ey!" I beckon and wave him over again. He comes to call like a slave. "Ya got de otha one to sherve, be talkin wit me a bit? Ya sheem down." "...Aight." But then Bayonnii leaves. In the corner, the pandas have gorged and fallen out into sleep. I know well how their energies have radically been diverted to the task of digestion. I want to stab them and steal what's left before they wake and finish it. The elf commander is even surprised. "I've heard the phrase "food coma", but..." The drastic change from feasting to hibernation has an odd effect on the pirate. His voice has been grating the whole time, but now he's frantic and even louder. He starts yelling about poison, which is of course a direct insult to Tahzani's cooking and hard work. Tahzani grunts and shrugs a shoulder at me, moving to the other side of the boat as he hears the commotion. I knudge Harkinic. "See? Dis be why I got no job. Lookit him." Tahzani has to explain to the idiot pirate that what has happened to the pandas is completely normal for their species. I listen, looking to see if perhaps I can swipe some of their feast for myself in the distraction. I decide to try. I get up and go over as the undead yells again. "IT BE POISON!" "Oh shut de fuck up!" I scream at him. It makes no sense to me. "Ya be dead already, what ya be carin fo? ...hic!" as I head across the deck. Harkinic's eyes track me. I squeeze between the elf commander and the wind gauge carefully inserting myself near to the table. "They's down fer tha count! See?" I don't see. The male has reawoken already from all the noise, and he tries to tell the lunatic pirate to hush in deference to the female's continued slumber. He might notice if I just grab a handful of his food and try to run with it. Instead, I nudge at the girl panda within reach. "Ey. Ya be dead?" This produces a sleepy lick of the lips and a stretch, proving she is obviously still among the realm of the living. I feel that if I don't add something to my stomach, I might soon enough not be. My patience is wearing precious thin. "Dere. Ya be seein? Breathin fine. Not dead. Shut. Up." I glare at the stupid pirate. This comment is apparently the first he notices of my presence, distracted as he was with his own blustering. He looks at the speaker, me. "...Egad! Robby take cover! IT BE A SEA WITCH! She'll curse us an' drag us down ya Jonesy Dave's locker!" The little orc child promptly panics as instructed. I find this hilarious. What a fantastic distraction! I encourage it, raising my hands curled into claw-fingers. I hiss in my best sea-witch impersonation at the man, then cackle at the ridiculousness. This play-acting has quite an interesting and unintended effect on the panda bears. Evidently, they are not smart enough to recognize the joke, or perhaps too disoriented from sleep. They believe it! The girl jolts fully awake and shrinks back some. She grabs her hat and wraps it around her like a child's security blanket. The male completely freezes with a full roll of sausages dangly in his hands. I want them so. I turn my gaze on him. He swallows. "I can be havin one?" I ask him, quite enjoying this little over-lording. Still, I did ask, rather than demand. He stammers, agreeing, but rather than give up the prize in-hand, I get piping hot fresh sausages pulled from his bag. I cheer, extremely happy at my good luck, and I remember to thank the bear too. I retreat with my prize. I don't even care about the dwindling commotion, or the insulting title of sea witch. The Sanctuary mistress departs. The pandas stare at me in fear. I don't care. I have food. I return to my chair with it, gnawing already. The sausage has a grainy texture that is a pleasure to chew and break apart with the tongue, and is hot enough to make avoiding scalds while doing this a challenge. Harkinic grins to me, "De Derecho returns." He points out at the same time that a new troll is over there, across to the stern, waggling his eyebrows at him. I continue eating, watching for a moment. It becomes clear that the new male is trying to steal Harkinic. My territorial instinct runs wild. To say I am possessive would be an understatement. This new guy directly challenges my primal rights! I can't leave it be. The panda girl flinches when I get up, then relaxes at my trajectory. Harkinic chuckles, knowing what's about to happen, likely. I walk over. "Hi dere." The challenger looks up at me and smiles, "Ayh beautiful! Ayh dun tink we met afore, ayh?" I am in no mood for pleasantries. "Ya be talkin a good talk, but ya see, I been findin him first.Ya hear?" I glare at him, sizing him up and the warning in my tone is more than clear. "Ayh like both da laydayh an mons, ya know? If ya dun wan m' after 'im, ayh wun do nuthin more. Wha 'bout m' luck w'tcha lovely, though?" He winks at me, thinking himself rather sly. "Go be handy wit yaself, ya done pissed me off already." I'd like to hook my finger into that winking recess and feel the pop of loosening his eyeball. "Aww, dun be like dat, we be chill 'ere. Nah tryin nuthin harm." It takes a great deal of my willpower to not leap at him. I spin on my heel toe and stomp off, though. harkinic wears a rather superior smirk, unable to hide the arrogance at observing me return to him. I slam into my chair then turn a sweet smile onto him when he supplies me with another full mug of drink. Nice guy. Mollified, I had neglected to notice a huge tauren arrive. Gigantic, he is! I blurt such "Ya be a behemoth." Harkinic snickers, "Ah dunno tink dat one can help dat....." One of the druid's ears moves toward me betraying that he heard. At the comment his head lowers some, attempting to make himself seem smaller. Harkinic cackles, "Joo done hurt his feelings." He eyes the oversized tauren with a high level of deliberate assessment, "Joo were rathah right tho...." He says regarding the tauren's exceptional size. "Didn't be meaning to." I notice the hunch too. "Awwwww, don't be like dat. It be a good ting! Ya be big an strong!" I try to reassure. I'm sure it would have the opposite effect if I told him he could feed a village for a week, but the thought crosses my mind. The tauren rubs the side of his neck at my attempts to soothe. Still, he steps back to not be in the way of a new arrival. As his huge frame moves, the ramp becomes fully visible. I recognize the elf standing there. I can't help glaring. I fucking hate him! He's going to die.