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About Cheater

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  • Birthday 02/27/1988
  1. Urgh. Whatta warm welcome back to Orga'mar. I swear that fat bear poppta lung a' somethin'. Yea, I finally left Outland fa' good. Can I just tell ya somethin', though? That place is BORIN'. Nothin' eva' seems ta happen in Garada'. Shattrat' is calm an' fulla' blue Alliance fellas and Terraka' Forest is just bugs. Lotsa bugs. Geez louise! Of course I'd wanna get outta there. Things din' really go as I had planned-- sa' let's just leave it at that. I came back ta Orga'mar an' settled inta the inn to figyah out how I was gonna afford food an' whatnot. Then I remembah'd I'll just take it all, hahaha! So I was just sittin' there, an' bam! This fat bear starts talkin'. I dunno if some hunta' has tha world's smartest pet or what, but man it was fat. So so fat. Five pounda sausage inna 2 pound bag y'know? Anywho, she tried ta stop a duel between a cow lady and a scary troll. Who does she think she IS?! My first day back an' I was gonna get ta watch a fight! See some blood! But nah, fat bear (or was it a raccoon? Nah, too big I think) kept tryin' ta stop 'em. So I lightly poked 'er wit' a knife. BAM! She was cryin' and whinin' an' then she sat on me. YEA! Her fat arse musta' broke like all ma' ribs, I swear I'mma kick her bear butt next time I eva' find her. She's just lucky Grallna' wasn't here.. to.. Nevahmind, but yea that's exactly how it went down. Don' let her fool ya. I think 'er name was "Jojo".
  2. <p>Ohai How're yah?</p>

  3. Still haven't found tha time ta tell Ugraz what's up, I haven't even seen tha guy in a while. It's kinda my fault I guess, I been out an' about gettin' ready to hit tha road and neva' look back. But I guess old habits die hard, 'cuz I got offa'd a "job" an' I took it. It didn't even seem that bad ta be honest, just a simple sneak in, find a list of participatah's, an' get outta there. Easy peasy, right? Well, I shoulda' realized from tha start that it wasn't gonna be that easy, especially since tha elf that offa'd me the job didn't seem quite right ta begin with. Maybe it was just dark in tha alley, but man I couldn't see anything but armah and green blood elfy eyes behind a full helm. Ho hum. She also had tha WORST posture I eva' saw, an' ya I saw some Forsaken before. So's I did my research an' did some eavesdroppin' at the inn an', well, okay, I looked up and down an' all around fa this place. Took forEVA' and I had to go miles an' miles underground, past scary demon guards. If that wasn't bad enough, she didn' tell me it was some creepy-ass meetin' of all the creepo warlocks that live on Azeroth. I nearly bolted at first sight, but the elf was offerin' more gold than Ugraz would give me in the rest a' my life. Insteada' dreamin' a' all the gadgets and jewels an' shit I coulda bought, I couldn' help but thinka' buyin' a place in Outland wit' Grallface an'... maybe livin' some kinda normal life. Blagh. What's wrong with me?! Even thinkin' back on that I sound stupid. Anyway, needless ta say, I guess I tripped some kinda protection device or whatever magical shit these 'locks were sportin' an' some big ol' octopus demon caught me through my stealthin'. I din't manage ta steal a single thing! I didn't even see any kinda "log" wit' all their names, I just reca'nized one of the blood elves from the inn. An' maybe that creepy troll who doesn't talk much. Everyone else was new an' mad at me an' I nearly peed myself when they came ova. Thought maybe I'd charm 'em, ya know, play it cool an' say I was in tha neighbahood... naw, din't work too great. They looked a bit murd'rous an' I wasn't about ta throw away my new future wit' Grallface just for tha thrilla' full pockets. I managed to smoke bomb it outta there and I ran fasta than I eva did, but now I'm too scared ta show up at the inn. Luckily I'm gettin' outta here soon enough, but fa now, I don' feel safe. An' I prolly ain't gettin' paid, unless the elf accepts physical descriptions ova' actual names. Doubt it...
  4. <p>YOU LOVE IT!</p>


  6. It's been a while since I sat down ta collect ma thoughts like this. I said it bafore an' I'll say it again, I changed. All this time wit' Uglyraz, I changed. Or... maybe it isn't his fault. Maybe I just grew up. There's a chance this only happened 'cuz I got ripped from home an' tossed ass-side up in a strange new world. Maybe I let go a' that hold Kezan had ova' my heart. It hurts ta think about home now. Insteada' revelin' in the joy that lifestyle once gave me, I feel... pain. It was hard livin' like that. I took Orga'mar fa granted all this time. I took ma friends an' my life an' my meagah' savin's fa granted. I feel pretty awful about alla' it now. I got some alone time with Grallnah taday an' I tried ta form words from these thoughts flyin' aroun' my head like the flies on Crunchy's butt. I think he knows exactly how I'm feelin', an' from what he told me, he's feelin' sorta simila'. He wants ta go back home, an' I want a new home. I wanna go an' explore, an' see what hasn't been seen yet. An' when he said he's been thinkin' 'bout returnin' ta Outland... well, I'da' gone with him even if he said he was goin' home to Thousan' Needles or Storm Peaks. I'd folla' him anywhere, but luckily I really do wanna go. I hope boss won't hate me too much. I know he gave me a second chance ta stay with Horde Bros, but I gotta respectfully bow out. I don' care about politics an' blind dates an'... gold, I don' even really care about gold anymore. Tha Horde taught me what honor an' strength are all about an' I wanna see what else the world can teach me. I just gotta figyah' out how ta tell him.
  7. I FINALLY GOT ONE! Now, I'mma preface this by sayin' I don't believe in freebies-- sure, I'll take somethin' fa free from a friend, but I owe ya, ya know? I don't considah' many people ma friends, an' I really don't want ta take from 'em. If Uglyraz was tha one ta gimme this, I'da' been like GIMMEGIMMEGIMME. But Grallnah gave me a fancy new Heliocoptah in a box! I din' even know he was inta that sorta thing-- or maybe he bought it fa me? At the riska' soundin' SO typical, I love a man wit' gold. Not that... I love Grallnar or anything, L-O-L who woulda suggest sucha' crazy thing? Pshh, just 'cause I wanna smell his sweaty orc skin afta' a fight an' sit close enough just ta hear him breathe... mm.. hm.. wait, what? Uhh... s'anyways, I finally said goodbye ta Crappy McShitmount ma wyvern. I'm finally flyin' at a respectable speed AN' I don't hafta clean up afta this one! Now I just gotta replace Crunchy witha' robot Kodo and I'm good ta go.
  8. <p><---- nice face</p>

  9. Thingsa' finally gettin' back ta normal. Boss is bein' his usual awesome self and there's always a job ta do or a fight ta watch. Not sure how tha inn always seems ta clean itself up once we're through wit' it, 'cause we been crashin' it a lot lately. The otha night, Horde Bros totally took ova' the bar and made poor Rasha' leave. I don' care about the resta' the people, but Rasha's already pretty screwed up in tha face an' I feel kinda bad. Y'know? I mean, if my face was blown off I'd want some pity too. Or fa someone ta just end it fa me. Get it ova with already. I felt brave enough ta try ma hand atta' duel taday, but man did I get whooped. I really oughtta' try duels in private, not in these crazy tournament thangs. Not even sure what it was, boss just loves 'portin' me all ova the place ta watch him kick ass. I'm glad I picked tha winnin' team, at least. I guess I wanted ta try an' impress Grall and Ug but it din't quite go so well. Ah well, they seemed excited fa me anyways. Whateva', someday I'll be fightin' fa real an' I'll surprise everyone. No one will suspect Cheatah 'til it's too late! Yeah... I just need some new dagga's. Gotta work on that. I saw Googlypatch... he din't even say hi. Howsa' shy gob like that eva' gonna hook a gal? I din't even look at 'im. Mostly. I bet Uglyraz put 'im up ta apologizin' ta me... bah, anotha life perpetually run by the boss. How aggravatin'. Luckily, none a' that matters. Fa once in a long time, I'm... really, really happy.
  10. ...That plan kinda failed. Horribly. I don' even wanna talk about it. Let's just say they found me an' I got a nice big concussion outta tha deal, and a lecture. I'm free ta leave if I want now, but Grallnah made it sound pretty appealin' to stay. Or at least, unappealin' ta leave. I'm just goin' through tha motions of who they expect me ta be. When thingsa' slow, I work on maself-- trainin', readin', even spendin' ma gold on a new alchemy set ta work on these shitty poisons I coat ma blades in. I swear, I don' even know if they work. I watched a homeless peon run up ta me and start lickin' ma blades like they was coated in candy. An' he din' even die! So yeah, that's some pretty good evah'dence against them workin' too good. So's I'm workin' on them and everythin' else. I still wish I could go back ta how it used ta be... before I started carin' so much. Shoulda' neva let my guard down, even for a second. Now I feel like I gotta improve maself so much. I wish I could say it's only for maself. But it ain't. I wanna be betta' so all this shit was worth it fa' Ug and Grall. I wanna be betta' so maybe Grall will stop lookin' at me like a baby. An' maybe... I wanna betta' myself so someone awesome like Googlypatch will look at me an' think, "wowza, that's tha' gob I wanna bring home to momma!" Why can't I stop carin'? I wish there was a way. Then stupid Grall and his lectures wouldn' sting so bad an' ring so true.
  11. Man, since when has life been sucha' pain in tha ass? It's been foreva' since I spent tha night thievin', an' I hardly rememba' my old night route. Things've changed. People've moved. Blockades set. Locks replaced. I dunneven' know what I'm doin' anymore. An' instead, I been sucked inta' Uglyraz's world where he thinks I'mma be his little pet an' do everything he tells me ta. Well, I ain't. I changed so much this whole time, I dunneven' reca'nize myself. Since when does Cheatah worry 'bout shit like BOYS? An' since when have I been so worried 'bout politics and intrer... intrapersonal guild relationships? Sure, I'm workin' on becomin' a better fighta', but that's 'bout the only good thing I got comin' outta this. 'Cause ta'night, somethin' bad happened. ... I was at the duel club, bein' the boss-- er... Ugraz's cheer squad. Yeah yeah yeah, shut up. Eva' since Googlypatch split, I only see 'im around in crowds, but we're keepin' in touch through the mail. Yeah... cool story, right? So I been feelin' stupit' fa' even thinkin' somethin' good woulda come outta that. Kinda wish Uggo woulda' stayed outta my life fa' that one. So I went to the duel club just wantin' the thrilla' people knockin' the stuffin' outta each other. It clears ma' mind, y'know? It was crazy hectic, people were fightin' and arguin' and shoutin'. It was a great time. Grallface showed up halfway through, an' actually wanted ta participate. Hey, whateva' floats ya zeppelin, but hell no was I gonna get in the ring and lose ma teeth. So Grallface went up against some Alliance that I swear I saw Uglyraz arguin' with one day-- I dunno the details, but I sure did call 'im a traitor real loud. Just doin' ma job. He was a supah strong death knight guy, scared the bajeezus outta me an' I could tell Grall wasn't lookin' forward to it. But when they started fightin', it was amazin'. Neither of 'em let up for what seemed like fa'ever. I watched 'im sneak around the human's rings of evil magic, outta sight, and stab 'im up like a real roguey rogue. He din' even stop fightin' when a buncha damn zombies appeared an' started chompin' on his flesh. MAN! So brave, so fearless, I just wanted ta watch him dance with that human all night. In tha' end, Grallface lost to Altherion. But he looked so damn good out there. An'... I felt somethin'. Somethin' stirred in this lil' black heart a' mine that I haven't felt since tha' first time I held a gold coin in ma fingers. The weight, the smoothness, the glimmer. Not gon' lie, guys, I was enthralled. An' what did Uggo do? He embarrassed me an' yelled at me an' then I realized the truth. He was ma boss, but damn he was a control freak! I neva' saw him get so angry. He pulled Grallface away to talk in private, an' then there was fightin' and yellin'.. an'.. an' I was just done wit' it. It was too much ta handle. I wasn't cut out fa this kinda limelight. I wanna meld back inta the shadows an' let everyone fa'get I ever existed. I want ma simple life back. Horde Brothers was fun, and the pay was mediocre, but I gotta get back to ma roots and worry 'bout maself. I can't take tha' pressure a' guilds an' missions an' relationships. I'm bound ta screw 'em up no matta' what Ugraz says 'bout it. I just ain't worth it, fellas. Sometimes I wondah' if these last few weeksa' been a giant joke, a prank played on yours truly. Maybe they was. I'mma take ol' Crunchy an' head somewhere new, an' everyone can go back ta normal.