A Rogue's Diary

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03.04.18 I don’t go to the cabin much anymore.  Not while the girl is still there. However, sources say she is seen around Dalaran sometimes, so she’s not there all the time.  Baal came to Cantin

02.24.17 Siane lied.  Kex’ti is not dead after all.  He is alive and well, by the sounds of it.  She paid for her lies though.  Shallow wounds by a blade coated with agonizing poison.  Too bad it

03.23.17   I lost two friends today.  Three, if I count the troll I was given as a bodyguard.   Zulkaz looked so big and strong, and he had so many weapons.  He said he could kill Kex’ti

  • 3 weeks later...

I bought a new wyvern last night. I set Mossy free in Nagrand. I'll miss him, but I think he'll be happy. The new wyvern is much faster! She doesn't have a name yet though. Her armor is yellow like dreaming glories. Maybe I'll call her Glory.

Now I have no gold left. I had to have lessons in wyvern care and riding before they would let me buy Glory, and those lessons cost all the money I had. I have to keep doing work for the Skyguard and ogres to make some more gold. I also heard that the Netherwing are looking for people to do jobs for them.

Some Grims have been exploring an island or some other place in the elf lands. I haven't gone there yet. I heard a rumor that Kael'thas is there now, but I also heard he's still in his Keep in Netherstorm. I wonder if he's just moving between the two places, or if maybe Cessily was right with her imposter ideas. It doesn't really matter to me though. I kill whatever Abric tells us to kill, imposter or not. One dead elf is as good as another.

Emmons told me he found a new way of making lots of gold. Elf organs. He said they sell for a lot of gold, and elves have two kidneys, so we should take one from some elves to make gold. I wondered why we just don't take both of them and make twice as much gold from each elf. Then today, I found a flier that the guards in Silvermoon are looking for him. I don't know why he goes to Silvermoon so much. I never go there unless I have to.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I haven't seen Aleister in a while, and it doesn't look like he's been to his tent in weeks. I wonder what he's up to. Maybe the wolves or warp stalkers outside the city ate him while he was gathering herbs.

We went to a terrace on the elf isle the other day. There's a dragon in there who looks like a human. And I looked in an orb and saw a dark naaru, a human in a floating bubble that looked like a sleeping paladin, and a big red face with glowing yellow eyes. We went back in again later, but we still didn't see any of that stuff that I saw in the orb. We found Kael'thas there. Maybe he's an imposter like Cessily says, or maybe he moves back and forth between there and Tempest Keep. It doesn't matter much to me either way. He bled like any other elf.

Me and Anaie made up a new dance that night while we were waiting for Gex. I think it might look weird, because Nymare kept making faces and she seemed freaked out. So last night, we danced for her again, and later we snuck up behind her on each side. I'm not sure why we decided to be creepy to her. I think we were both just bored and now it's a game like pulling Coy's tail.

We killed a giant bird last night so Coy can learn to fly faster. I'm not sure how killing a bird teaches another bird to fly faster, but druids are weird, so I don't try to understand them. Anaie wants to go back there again and try to find a riding bird there. I don't think I would trust riding a bird that can't fly. I'll stick with Gilly and Bones and Snowball for my ground mounts for now.

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  • 3 weeks later...

I let a dwarf live last week. I know I shouldn't have, especially after the Grim meeting we just had where Abric gave us orders to kill every Alliance we see. But I didn't try to kill him. Well, actually, I did, but he got away, and then I didn't try to kill him again when I saw him.

I spent the day picking herbs. I killed a spaceman hunter in Shadowmoon, and all the other Alliance I could get. Then I went to Hellfire. As I was approaching a flower, a dwarf landed next to it. He set a trap right next to my flower, and then climbed atop his gryphon again.

I sapped him. Then I started slicing into him, careful to avoid the gryphon's beak and claws. He seemed familiar. Then the gryphon flew up beyond my reach. After a moment, I picked my flowers, trying to remember where I saw that hunter before.


Two years ago, at Hallow's End. I had stink bombs and some kind of poison, and I took them to South Shore. I snuck into the inn to ruin a keg of ale with the poison. I was in the basement, looking for a keg that I could open easily, and dump the poison into.

I heard someone coming down the stairs, so I hid in the shadows behind some kegs. A flare landed at my feet and lit up my hiding place. I looked up to find a very large Scourge...that smelled like a dwarf. I felt panic rising, even though I knew it must be a costume, or the night elf priestess wouldn't be so calm beside him. I fled, throwing blinding powder in the hunter's face as I bolted to the stairs. Halfway up the stairs, without even seeing it in my mad dash, I triggered a trap and became frozen in a block of ice.

They kept sniffing me and pointing at me while I was trapped. Then the priest smacked my ice block with her staff, and the ice broke, freeing me. They continued to sniff and point at me. What did they want? I ran up the steps only to find more Alliance in the main room of the inn. I retreated to the kitchen. I was trapped!

Suddenly, I no longer had control of my own body. I found myself running through the inn, across the street, and into the magistrate's building. In a corner of the main room there, in a place where the guards wouldn't notice me, the priestess's grip on my mind was released. The pair was there with me, still sniffing and pointing.

What did they want??? Why did they keep sniffing me? Maybe they smelled the stink bombs I had with me. And then I realized. For some reason, they wanted me to throw the stink bombs. I nodded repeatedly to let them know I understood. I pointed at the door; I had to go outside to use the stink bombs. The hunter marked me, and I didn't try to remove it. I stealthed, knowing his mark would allow him to track me, and I went outside, behind the building. I threw the stink bomb, which immediately got the attention of the guards, and then I ran away while the dwarf and elf cheered at me.

As I was running, arrows were being shot at me. I should have known not to trust them! When I got far enough away, I looked back. The Scourge hunter was shaking his head no at another hunter.


The dwarf hunter landed his gryphon again after I had carefully packed up my flowers. He marked me, and his cat bounded at me with its fangs bared. I threw a handful of dirt in the cat's eyes, and then I threw a couple snowballs at the dwarf, and I waved to him. He lowered his weapon and threw a flare near my feet. I stood in it's glow to show I was no threat, even though I had just tried to kill him a few minutes ago! We looked at each other for a while, and then he setup a picnic lunch within the flare's range. He flew away again, leaving the picnic basket for me.

I wonder if it was the same dwarf from two years ago. I can't be sure, because he was wearing a costume then, but he did remind me of him. I like to think it's the same one. All the Alliance must be killed, I know, but maybe that one can be killed last.

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  • 8 months later...

::The long ago dried up petals of a black lotus are smashed in the book at this page::

It's been a long time since I have opened this book. It's been nearly a year since I wrote about him. Much less time has passed since I've thought of him last. Much, much less.

So many people have faded into the past since I received orders to move to Northrend. But sometimes the past comes back. He's different now. But it is him.

The Alliance have been attacking Orgrimmar nearly daily. This call, I expected, would be like every other. I met Cristok and Nymare and some other Grims near the entrance to Grommash Hold. Most of the Alliance were already dead. Those still alive were being cut down as they tried to escape. I joined in the clean up, but something about one of the men there gave me pause.

Forsaken. His posture, the tilt of his head, the way he moved. How many hours had I spent, years ago, watching him? Hunting with him? Fighting with him? Playing with him? It was him. I had no doubt, even though I hadn't seen him in two years. But he was not the same. I was surprised to feel nervous as I approached him.

His daggers were replaced by a large sword, his supple leather by plate armor. His eyes, once bright gold, were now cold blue. He was no longer a rogue like me. He was one of them now. Broken free from the Lich King. A second time. He recognized me, I could tell. But did he remember me, as I remembered him?

I turned back to Cristok to answer something he said to me, and when I turned back again, he was gone, disappeared in the crowd, lost to me again. But not for long this time.

That evening, after my killing was done for the day, I found him near the battlemasters, freshly returned from battle and already preparing to go out again. I wasn't surprised to find him there. In fact, I expected to. I asked him if he remembered me.

"I remember I gave you a flower in Undercity. A lotus. I remember you wearing a black dress. You are all grown up now."

He told me what he remembered about his time away. It wasn't much. He was betrayed in Alterac shortly after the Dark Portal was opened. Something about a warlock, a crystal, and a priest with all the answers. Something about empowering the Forsaken. Empowering them to do what, he didn't know.

I will help him seek this priest and his answers. It might be important for the Forsaken, or for fighting the Lich King. At least, that is the reason I will give if anyone asks me about spending so much time with him.

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  • 6 years later...

April 20, 2009

I befriended a drake tonight. Or rather, he befriended me.

When I went to the Wyrmrest Temple tonight, the guards on the ground floor greeted me by name. Some had knowing looks on their faces when they regarded me, but of course, they didn't say anything. The innkeeper told me I was expected on the top floor. I paused, already looking for the nearest exit. Surely, I was in trouble for getting so many drakes wounded at the Nexus. The innkeeper must have seen my worry, because he laughed at me, and encouraged me to go up.

When I landed, Cielstrasza turned away from the drake she was talking to and waved me over to her. The drake, she explained, was Agararstrasz, and he'd been watching me work with the reds at the Temple every day in the battle against the blues. (Apparently, he did not watch me battle them at the Nexus.) He, like many of the reds, were very interested in the mortal races, and he wanted to spend some time with them. With me.

Mortal races....but I'm Forsaken. I've already lived, and I've already died. Yet, even so, there have been many times the reds seemed to have not noticed that I'm undead rather than alive. I can remember quite a few times they were kind and protective towards me. And anyway, this drake--Agararstrasz--could swallow me in one bite if he wanted. It wasn't as if I could easily refuse him if he wanted to travel around Northrend with me.

Agararstrasz arched his neck and lowered his head to be eye level with me. He winked at me, and then he told me to climb onto his shoulders. So I did, and I clung tightly to him when he dove off the top of the Temple. I spent the rest of the evening in the skies, on the back of a red dragon who had chosen me to be his friend.

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August 11, 2014

Hello again, diary. It's been a very long time.

Reading this again brings back memories, some of which I haven't thought of in years.

Most of the people I wrote about in this book years ago are gone now.

I wonder where they are. Are they dead? Are they still fighting, or have they found peace outside The Grim? Will any come back someday? Why did they leave?

Did Atticuss ever manage to settle down somewhere and start a farm?

Is Muatah still tracking down the Pestilence somewhere far away?

Is Emmons still causing mischief everywhere he goes?

Did Sammuel and Lascivious run away together to live out their twisted love?

Is Yichi still on a spirit hunt, or did he reunite with Mohan and Ohoye?

Did Grog ever manage to learn how to ride his wyvern without falling off?

Is Hektar still fighting dragons?

Did Abric find someone else to boss around and speak riddles to?

Who do Guduk and Bloodscream and Skash protect now?

Who do Maurt and Malstrom heal now?

And Lucion. The only friend I've ever had who was not Grim. I remember the first time we met. We bumped into each other in Undercity, both trying to get the poison vendor's attention first. I remember hunting mages with him in Felwood, and sparring with him outside Undercity, and sneaking through Stormwind and Ironforge, and exploring the human lands where he once lived. I remember seeing him that day in Orgrimmar, after the Lich King had changed him. He said something about a warlock, a crystal, and a priest. I wanted to help him solve that mystery, but he disappeared again.

Sometimes I wonder, with all these good Grims gone now, why am I still here? I've been here too long. I've seen too many Grims come and go, Grims I got attached to and lost. Now there are so few left that I know well. The rest are gone. Why am I still here?

Then I wonder, where else would I go?

Lucion once said to me, "You are Grim through and through."

He knew me so well.

And now I am the High Inquisitor. Abric always used to say "You are Grim or you are nothing."

I am Grim. And now I get to decide who else is Grim and who is nothing.

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August 12, 2014

Being the High Inquisitor has been a surprisingly busy job lately. I've been a Grim long enough to recognize the cycle. A new Big Bad Villain rises to power for a year or so, and everyone bands together to beat it, fighting along with their teams, their guilds, or just taking their chances and throwing themselves in among the Mad. Then the Big Bad Villain is defeated and they get restless. New fighters look for someone to fight alongside in the next big battle, and veterans evaluate if they want to stay where they've been or try somewhere new.

The real test is how many will still be here when the next Big Bad Villain rears its ugly head. Many will disappear again, afraid to fight, or just not interested in battle. Others will leave for what they think are more promising opportunities. But there are always a few who remain and become true Grims.

This time is different. There are the usual newcomers, new fighters eager to join a force and prove themselves. But this cycle is bringing back old people--some nearly forgotten, not all missed. That usually doesn't happen until the new Big Bad has established itself.

I have eight Supplicants right now, not counting two who've gone missing and two who belong to Anaie more than they belong to me. Only three of those eight were strangers when they came to us.

Kogrona is an orc rogue who is fun to toy with, because she drinks a lot. Often, she has asked me "Is this a test?" And I tell her that everything is a test. She seems a bit wary of me, though I'm not sure why. Most Grims know I favor the rogues more than others. I haven't seen her in a while, but I still have the shard of her soul that strange warlock gave me a while back.

Ulrezaj, a troll warlock, has become a regular participant at both my office hours and the Grim battles against the Alliance. I haven't fought alongside him much yet, but he seems competent. He seems calm and steady and focused. I like having him watch my back while I'm busy with applicants during my office hours. I hope he's one of the ones who stay.

Quezt is a Forsaken hunter. She seems quiet, but she's already proven she can handle dangerous animals. She gave me a poisonous frog as a gift at her interview. I'm sure it's because rogues are known to like poisons, and not because she's trying to kill me. I've seen such frogs on the Timeless Isle, and I know how dangerous they can be. I need to learn more about this Forsaken. I really don't know much about her yet.

That leaves five Supplicants who were not complete strangers to The Grim, either directly or indirectly. Odd that there are so many at once.

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August 13, 2014

The five from the past....

I know Fhenrir, of course. Everybody knows Fhenrir, even me, though I can probably count on one hand the number of people I knew who weren't Grim. I've known him a long, long time. He's always been a good fighter. He's always been polite to me, if a bit distant. I was surprised to hear of his interest in joining us. I always got the impression he was too good to be Grim. Not good as in snobby, but just too morally good to do some of the things we do. I'm still not certain he really has what it takes to be Grim. I'm not sure he's grim enough. I hope he is, because I want to keep him, but I think he's too good.

Xaraphyne came with him. I remember her a little bit from years ago, but I never really knew her. I think she was in Sanctuary, and of course Grims had little in common with them. She is not Grim. I'm almost certain. She is definitely too good. At least, she always was, from what I remember. Maybe she's changed, but I'm not sure someone can change that much. But I'll let her go through the Inquisition with Fhenrir and see if she can prove me wrong. I don't doubt she'll at least be of some use while she's here.

Malethia. One of the elves I'd come to hate way back when they first joined the Horde, and Lascivious decided to let some join The Grim. She gave me some ashes from her old home. I get that this was some big gesture of giving up her past and who she was back then, but I don't remember the details of what makes it so important. She said she wants to come back to make up for the past. I doubt she can do that, but it might be amusing to watch her try. I know not to trust her and to keep a very close eye on her.

Feorn is another elf, one I didn't know personally. I didn't even know his name. But I do remember some of the guilds he said he worked for. Alliance guilds. Mercenary. Definitely not one to be trusted. That doesn't mean he can't be useful though. We'll just have to keep a close eye on him, and make sure his challenges are very thorough before he passes his inquisition. He brought me a couple hats, a torch, and a quill as a gift. I wonder if there's any significance to those gifts. I need to find out more about this one.

And lastly, another elf I didn't know, either in person or in name. He actually joined before the other two elves here, but he puzzles me the most, so I saved him for last. Elanderik. Elek. Like Feorn, he threw out names that made me immediately dislike him. Names like Cessily, Aest, and Rosalynd. I asked him about his name--Elek. Like the beasts the Draenai ride. He didn't get riled up. I told him to bring me a present to his interview. He brought me a variety of ears--he did his homework. We went hunting together through some ruins in Pandaria with three of the Mad. I intentionally tried to make his job difficult, but it didn't throw him off. He handled himself well, both in combat and in dealing with the Mad.

Elek and I had a long chat the other night. He's a tricky one. He doesn't act like other elves. He's calm, and polite, and not snobby. I feel at ease around him, and I have to keep reminding myself he's an elf, and not to trust him. I have to remember that I had hope for Cessily in the beginning too, before she got me into all that trouble. It sounds like he and Cessily were very close. For all I know, they could still be together, and this could be some kind of trick. I wouldn't put anything past her. Especially with Malethia back around the same time, and that elf mercenary that used to work for the Alliance. It's just too much of a coincidence. I'll have to be careful around him. Around all of them.

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August 25, 2014

Yet more Supplicants. Eleven now. I need an assistant. I'm glad the Commander approved my request. Well, one of them at least. I'll announce it tonight.

Rennal is half elf and half orc. She's not annoying though, so she must be more orc, even though she looks more like an elf. She has potential, but I have to get to know her better. I haven't given her a special assignment yet.

The other one has been a thorn in my side since I first read her mysterious letter. Kiryx, but I call her Prissy. She doesn't like to wear armor, she doesn't like to fight, she's arrogant and snobby and way too bold. If Awatu wasn't there the night I interviewed her and told me to admit her because she might be useful, I would have dismissed her as soon as she opened her mouth. Even Attie agreed she could be Cessily levels of trouble. This time though, I'm ready. I'm not going to let an underling get me in trouble like that again.

Lately, Elek has been treating me almost as a peer or even less instead of like a Grim officer who holds his future in her hands. He'll pay for that. Tonight. My little plan should put him in his place and deal with Prissy at the same time. If anyone can be successful at that, it would be him.

I still have my doubts about Fhenrir and Xara. I told them I have something special in mind for them for their Trial of Sacrifice. Fhen is getting impatient, I can tell. He's worried about what he'll be asked to do, I think. I told him it's to test who he is and if he's Grim. He told me I know who he is. I think I know who he is, but I hope I'm wrong. Actually, I think he could probably do the trial by himself. He could probably grit his teeth, lose himself in his rage, and just get it over with. But I wonder if he can do it in front of Xara.

I wonder if Xara can do it at all. I asked her the other day if she thinks she is Grim. She said that's for others to say. I think she knows she's not really Grim. She still believes in innocents. I hope she finishes the special assignment I gave her soon.

Strange how a task that can be so easy for some might be difficult for others. Quezt picked the targets for me, though of course she doesn't know they are targets. If she suspects, she didn't comment. I like Quezt. She does her job and doesn't cause trouble. But then, she's Forsaken, so she's bound to be either competent or crazy or both. So far, she doesn't seem crazy.

A druid named Tronto joined us last night. I don't know much about him yet so I don't have anything to comment on yet.

Office hours should be interesting tonight. I can hardly wait.

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July 12, 2015

Emmons has returned. I saw him at the Brokenspear. I was so happy to see him, and I didn’t care who noticed it in that crowded inn. The Grim rogues used to all be so close. Like brothers and sisters. That’s how it felt when I saw Emmons again—like a long lost brother had returned.

Maybe that’s why I thought about this book again. Emmons was the one who gave it to me, so many years ago. So much has changed since then, and even since my last entry here.

I’m no longer the High Inquisitor. I’m not an officer at all now, thanks to my failure in assassinating a particular Sanctuary elf, and worse, being identified. Sanctuary is reformed. Not by Vilmah though. Now they’re led by some psycho bitch elf with a stick up her butt as big as one of those walking trees in Darnassus.

I’m glad Emmons is back. I’ve been missing people from the old days a lot lately. Especially since the Nightmare. Seeing old Grims, and then seeing them turn their backs on me was too much. I know they weren’t real, most of them at least, but it felt real.

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July 13, 2015

Tes joined The Grim tonight. She gave me part of her ear the night before, in return for delivering her introduction letter to the Inquisitors. She said she doesn’t agree with Sanctuary’s methods anymore, and she thinks the Grim way is the way to deal with Alliance.

I think Kex’ti or Julilee planted her here as a spy. Whatever the reason she’s here though, she’s here. She and Kex’ti are close—childhood friends or former lovers or something. Even if she is a spy, we now have someone in arm’s reach that Kex’ti cares about.

I still don’t trust him. I may have stopped actively plotting against him, and I may follow him into Hellfire Citadel, but I haven’t forgotten what he’s done. Others may only see the side he wants to show them—kind and wise and gentle and protective. But I’ve seen something more sinister in him. I’ve seen the cruelty in him, the side that enjoys torturing his enemies rather than just killing them. The part that ignores pleas for mercy. I’m not the only one who’s seen it either. I wonder if Julilee knows. I wonder if he took the same oaths Shokkra told me about.

At the Brokenspear later, I asked Darethy what he would do if the wars were all over. He said he would self-destruct. Lilly was surprised. I wasn’t. I said I would probably get myself killed. Again, Lilly seemed surprised.

What else would I would do? If the wars were over, am I supposed to start a herb farm? Run an alchemy shop? I don’t even know how to make many potions that aren’t related to combat. Maybe start a betting ring for fighting smaller animals?

The living can have their dreams for when the war is over—settle down with a mate and raise a bunch of kids—but I’ve already lived my life, short as it may have been. Those things are not an option for me. The only thing I’m good for is fighting.

I guess it’s a good thing for me that there will always be someone to kill.

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July 17, 2015

I went into the Hellfire Citadel tonight for the second time under Sanctuary’s leadership.

It surprised me that they decided to start this mission. It surprised me even more when Naheal asked me to go along with them. I refused at first, of course. Why would I want to hunt alongside those purple people who want to make peace with the Alliance? They’re traitors to the Horde, as far as I can tell.

Then I got to thinking about Sanctuary’s way of doing things. I remembered that they like to give second chances, and they’re all about justice and peace. And I remembered another battle not too long ago, where the enemy’s life was spared in the name of justice. Where would we be now if Varian and that bossy panda hadn’t stopped Thrall from killing Garrosh?

They say Gul’dan may be in the Citadel, and if he isn’t stopped he’ll destroy both Draenor and Azeroth. If Sanctuary decides to bring justice to the enemies within the Citadel instead of killing them on the spot, we could be chasing dangerous foes back to our own home instead of to another world. I could just see those Alliance-lovers doing something like that too. After all, they didn’t kill me after I killed two of their own and attacked several others.

Grims must do what must be done. So I fight alongside those I would sooner murder in their sleep, knowing they think me a monster. I’ll make sure the powerful enemies there are killed, not sent to trial or given a stern lecture and a chance to escape and cause trouble again.

Awatu has been there too, so I am even more determined to finish this task quickly. I don’t think most of them would take a cheap shot at the Grim’s Commander while he’s in combat with other enemies there, but I don’t like taking that chance. Anaie was there too, which made the stressful time a bit less unpleasant. We’ve always appointed ourselves the guardians of the Grim leader, so it was nice to have someone else helping me watch the Commander’s back.

As for my willingness to take cheap shots at Sanctuary during combat, well, the Citadel is a dangerous place. Accidents can happen there. Especially after the other enemies are killed.

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Yesterday was not a good day. Khorvis, who has been acting very strange lately, had said to look near the twin trees outside the guild hall at dawn. I did. I saw a massacre. Not a battle. Forsaken, likely from Brill, were chained to each other, and each one was torn apart. I don’t know how many were killed. It looked like it must be half the population of Brill. All torn to pieces.

It reminded me of Lupin, but he finally admitted to me that it was Kerala who did that. So I punished her. It wasn’t nearly as bad as what she did to him. I just sliced down a piece of her stomach, so the flesh hung down like a flap. Like Kex’ti did to that Draenei at Grim Batol. Only I didn’t flay nearly as large an area as that. She’s a healer. I’m sure her suffering didn’t last long. When I told the Commander later, he just looked at me and sighed. I think maybe he was relieved I took care of it and he didn’t have to worry about it with everything else going on with Khorvis and the warlocks.

Khorvis is under restraint in the infirmary, after a battle of Grims against him at the Throne of Ki’jaedan. Akorn and Mal are in the dungeon. They’re suspected of corrupting Khorvis with some fel magic. I can believe Akorn is bad. But not Mal. He’s so polite and nice. Like when he helped me come back from the Darkness. He didn’t know I didn’t want to come back yet. He probably thought I was lost or trapped, and just trying to help.

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I was wrong about Kerala. I really thought she would stay. She passed the final Trial and got her rank. I believed it was real.

But as soon as she confirmed with the Commander that her debt was paid, she burned Konro’s tabard. Then she started spouting off about not needing to kill all Alliance, and she’ll keep Grims safe while we murder them but she won’t kill them herself. She knows us well enough to know what kind of reaction that would get.

As if that debt could ever be paid. As if it was her debt to pay in the first place.

She says she doesn’t lie. I know better than most that deceiving and misleading can be done easily and effectively without actually lying. She’s a master at it.

So the Commander announced that she’s of no use and threw her in the fire that was still burning high from where she had just burned all her possessions as part of her Trial of Sacrifice. She screamed and ran off, no longer a Grim.

What a waste.

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I went to Silvermoon with Orphyn to question some magister about something. I won’t write the details here, just in case.

I hate that city. I have never been comfortable there. It’s like I’m seventeen again, dirty and hungry, and trapped in the town hall being questioned and judged by rich, fat, clean people wearing their fancy clothes and their confidence that they’re in control of everything. Silvermoon is a hundred times worse than that, because it’s filled with elves. They’re richer than anyone in Andorhal ever was, and ancient and beautiful and smart. And snobby and cruel and selfish and I hate them all. I hope the scourge come back someday and flatten the whole city and all the elves in it.

Orphyn didn’t seem to mind being there, maybe because he was an elf. He did most of the talking to the magister and his friend. It was clear we weren’t going to get what we came for. Orphyn pulled me aside and suggested we just attack them. Normally, that would have been my first choice, but this was Silvermoon. I pictured elf guards swarming us in that little room, and locking us away in some elf jail. So we left and came up with another plan.

I’m not sure what to think of Orphyn. I’ve known him less than a month, and he’s an elf—a dead one, but still an elf—but I find myself telling him secrets and plans that few others know about. I know I shouldn’t. He’s only a Supplicant. And he’s an elf, so I’m sure he’ll turn on me eventually. Still, it’s nice to have someone to talk to who doesn’t have their own schemes, or at least, doesn’t seem to. That little act of his in front of the magister last night better only be an act, or I will cut off more than his ear!

I sent Ruuki my ideas for Tesonii's Trial of Sacrifice. I hope she uses it.

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Awatu called a guild meeting for tonight. He agreed with Leyu’jin that Sanctuary is to be treated as traitors, and we’re to treat them as such.

Leyu’jin had a strange mask on tonight, the eyes glowed. It was creepy. I’m still surprised he ordered us to kill those three Sanctuary people at the Faire the other night. I always got the impression he didn’t approve of my actions against them months ago. Maybe he’s finally had enough of their interfering with the Mandate, or maybe it was knowing they had just met with Alliance. Or maybe it’s something else.

Khorvis is still locked up in the dungeon. I don’t know if he’s just being held there, or if someone is actively trying to make him better. I’m sure if anyone else shows signs of the same problem, they’ll probably be locked up too. I really hope there’s a cure.

After the meeting, Orphyn and I went to kill Iron Horde in Tanaan. On our way out of Vol’mar though, we ran into Kex’ti. He was there for a purpose, but he was calm. Maybe he didn’t hear about what happened at the Faire. He said if I let him take Cerryan’s ear off my head peacefully, he’d make it a clean cut and heal the wound it left. I said I had become attached to my pretty new ear, and Orphyn made it clear Kex’ti would have to go through him to get to me.

So he did. Kex’ti went through Orphyn, then came for me. I fought him, of course, and I lasted longer than I expected before I fell. He sliced Cerryan’s pretty ear off my head, and then he healed the hole it left. Orphyn came at him again, and again, Kex’ti put him down. Still, Kex’ti was calm. He healed our injuries that he just caused us. He must have heard about the Faire, or why would he have come for my ear? Julilee trying to get it was what started the fight there. I know what he’s capable of. I remember him lifting me by the throat and nearly burning me over a fire when he found out I took Cerryan’s ear in the first place, and his threats if I touched anyone in Sanctuary again. Why didn’t he kill us tonight? What is he up to?

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Orphyn and I captured Vionora Siane. There was a troll hunter with her that got in the way, but I took care of her and her beasts while Orphyn got hold of Siane. She’s in one of the cells under the barracks.

Orphyn torture questioned her last night. I wasn’t there for it. People think I like to fight because I like hurting people. I guess the two usually go together, but there’s not much fun in hurting someone who can’t fight back. It takes the thrill out of it. Besides, I would have had to go in that cell to do it.

He got some good information from her though. Sanctuary, Borrowed Time, and the Blackguard are planning to attack us in our garrison in a few days. Because we captured Siane? Was this just going to be a rescue mission? Or because we beat up their commander and two others at the Faire?

Let them come. The Grim garrison is well protected, and well populated with good fighters. We’ll slay them all. Finally.

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Kanda left. She was the orc I took care of during Orphan’s Week once years ago. She heard what happened to the elf in the dungeon, and she said there’s no honor here anymore. Not just from that, but from lots of things happening lately. Maybe she went back to the orphanage to help with the little kids there. That’s what she was doing when I brought her out here.

I realized there’s an exception to not finding fun in hurting people who can’t fight back. It’s been years since I’ve seen him in person, but he haunts my thoughts these past few months. Since the Nightmare. When he almost got me again. When he got the wa

After this battle, if I make it through, I will hunt him again. I’ll hurt him. I’ll cut off his legs so he can’t run away. And I’ll cut off his hands so he can’t fight back. He’ll know what it is to be helpless. I’ll make him cry and beg, and then smother his head with a pillow. He’s Forsaken now, so he doesn’t need to breathe. But he should know what it feels like anyway. Then I’ll slice his flesh to ribbons, and throw each piece on the fire while he watches. And then I’ll throw all his limbs on the fire, and then his torso and head.

And if he has a new little prize now, I’ll do the kindest thing that can be done for her. I’ll kill her.

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  • 2 weeks later...


I found Ber dead in the snow outside the garrison under some trees where he liked to play. It looks like a rylak attack. There were no tracks in the snow, no sign of spells or ranged ammo. I buried him near the herb garden.

We had a duel contest tonight. I went against Kex'ti in one of the later rounds. He always seems so sick, I don't know how he can fight so well. He won, against everyone, even Mal. I did beat Commander Stick-Up-Her-Butt though. That felt good.

The potato man sees the evil I knew all along was there. Everyone has been lying, or fooled.

Cobrak is not loyal to The Grim. He threatened to gut me once before, but I didn't really believe him then. He said it again tonight. This time, I believed him.

I'm leaving tomorrow to find Aleister. I don't know when I'll be back. Not until I have his head.

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  • 2 months later...


Aleister is dead. I cut him apart and fed his pieces to the ill-tempered hydra hatchling Kex’ti gave me. Then I fed Aleister’s brains to the beast. I wonder how Kex’ti would feel about me using his gift to help torture people.

I didn’t kill his prize. Something in her eyes reminded me of me, or my twisted memories of me from back then. I let her go.

I didn’t enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I thought I would feel different after it was done. Happier, freer, stronger. But I don’t. Revenge is supposed to be sweet, but it really wasn’t all that much fun. I’m just glad the job is finally done. But now what?

Someone sent me a present for Hallow’s End. They didn’t sign their name, so I don’t know who it was. They dug up Ber and sewed him back together and reanimated him. He looks different, but he’s back now. Now he’s undead, like me. I’m not sure if he likes it. It’s him, but he’s different now. I guess dying changes worgs too.

So many people are gone or missing or just too busy since I've been back. I was only gone a few weeks. I haven’t seen Orphyn since I’ve been back. I wanted to tell him about it. I wonder if his heart failed him, or maybe he felt lost without someone to tell him what to do and wandered off. Sooner or later, everyone leaves. Some of them come back. I hope he does.

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