A Rogue's Diary

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I found this diary today when I was looking through my bank boxes for any sweets leftover from Hallow's End. Emmons gave it to me a long time ago, and I always kept it.

Cessily isn't a Grim anymore. Devries told me that last night. I was killing birds in Sethekk Halls, so I pretended I was busy so he wouldn't realize I didn't care. I told him I'd ask about it later, but then he told me that Las kicked her out. I don't know why she got kicked out, but I'm glad.

I should care probably. Cessily was a Grim rogue, so maybe I should have tried to take better care of her. All I can think of though when I think of her, is that guild meeting in Nagrand when I had to watch Grog get shot full of Muatah's arrows, all over trouble she caused. I wanted to help, to make them stop, but I couldn't, and it was all Cessily's fault. Now she's not Grim anymore. Now she's not protected by the mandate.

I don't like the elves. I wish they'd go back to wherever they came from. I wish Las would have let us eat them when they first came to us. I wish she'd kick them all out of the Grim. They are always fighting and arguing over silly things, and they're bossy. They're all prissy and pretty and frilly. Even the boys. They think they're important and better than the rest of us, but a lot of them are dumb.

And I hate their city. It's too big and fancy. I always get lost there, and the guards are always snobby to me when I ask for directions. I hope the Scourge take it over and kill all the elves. Then we can go kill all the Scourge there, and the elves and Scourge would both be gone! Then the Grim can go back to the way it used to be, before the elves came.

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Emmons asked me to help him with something yesterday. It sounded like fun, but then I thought it might be one of his tricks to get me in trouble, like that time he told me to burn down the Orgrimmar orphanage. But he said the Mistress ordered it, and to ask her. So I did, and she said it wasn't a trick, it was her will. So me and Emmons tried to do it, and we almost succeeded, but the target was suspicious. She wouldn't land. Emmons jumped up and hit her a couple times, but she flew away on her ray before we could kill her. It will be hard to get her now that she knows we're after her, but there's still the other one. Maybe that one won't get scared and run away.

Cessily came back to the Grim. I'm not sure exactly why she got kicked out, or why the Mistress gave those other orders to Emmons. Someone said the Mistress has been moody. I don't see her that much, but things are getting weird. She never used to kick people out only to bring them back in. I haven't seen Sammuel much lately either. Maybe I'll talk to him about it next time I see him. Cessily promised to be good now. I said we'll see.

Grims went to Medivh's tower again last night. I haven't gone with them in weeks. I've been fighting Alliance more lately. I've been fighting in Arathi Basin. Some Horde are dumb. Many are affected by the madness, but many are just stupid.

I was ordered to guard the blacksmith. A druid and warlock were there with me. I didn't know them, but they seemed nice. The druid wasn't a tree like Chasingstars, but he healed me while I was fighting. A human rogue kept trying to sneak in and kill the druid, but we drove him off each time.

Someone at the farm kept complaining over the hearthstone that the Alliance were trampling his crops. I looked in that direction. I couldn't see him, but I could see many Horde fighting Alliance on the road well away from the farm to prevent Alliance from getting close to the Horde's crops. Someone else yelled to stop guarding the road and guard the farm instead.

Then more Alliance came to attack the blacksmith. The druid and warlock ran to meet them near the mine-side bridge, and other Horde that were riding through stopped to fight. But nobody was guarding the flag that told the workers to stay or leave. I hid in a bush and listened for that rogue to sneak by.

The battle by the bridge was soon over. The warlock and druid came back. The druid knew where I was hiding in the bush.

"You okay over here?" he asked. I nodded and told him I was watching for that rogue to sneak in and take the flag.

"What made you so sure he would try that?" the druid asked.

"Because that's what I would have done," I answered. The druid smiled at me.

The farm guard started yelling into his stone again. I looked in that direction and saw that the road guards had all been killed. The Alliance was at the farm. Horde rushed to fight. I stayed to guard the blacksmith.

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Yesterday, when I woke up, I went outside to find Kevin, like I usually do. I like his coffee, and he usually walks right by my tent. He's a human, but he can speak enough Orcish to talk about coffee. He knows my name and he always says good morning to me.

After I bought my coffee from him, he continued walking on, and I started in the other direction. I froze though, when I heard him greet his next customer, only a few paces behind me.

"Good morning, Aleister!"

I wanted to run away. I should have run away. I should have snuck into the shadows and never looked back. But then I would never know if it was really him. Maybe it wasn't him. Maybe it was just someone else with a name that sounds the same. Yes, that's it! Like that elf rogue that has a name that sounds just like mine.

I turned around and looked at him. I should have run away. He stared at me for a moment, and he looked confused. I turned around again and hurried on my way. Maybe he didn't recognize me. Maybe he doesn't remember. Lots of Forsaken didn't remember their pasts from life. Just when I thought he didn't know who I was, I felt a bony hand on my arm and his foul breath in my hair when he leaned in close to me. Coffee splashed on my hand and burned it. I switched the mug to the other hand.

"My little prize." His words were slurred, and I could smell the rum on him. Even in undeath, he was still a drunk. He was old and hunched before the plague took him, but now he hunched even more, and his greasy gray hair was mostly gone. "I have use of your skills."

I was scared. There was nobody nearby to help. I would be his slave, his whore, again. I hated my life, because of him. I never had any friends or family in life, because of him. I was always dirty and ugly and I never had anything nice, because of him. All the happiness I ever knew came after death. Now it would all be gone again. I stared down at my coffee. I wanted to drown in it and never be raised.

No. I wouldn't go with him. He couldn't make me do what he wanted anymore. I fight more dangerous people than him every day. This was just a stooped over, drunk, old man.

"Come on, little one." He pulled on my arm. He seemed surprised when I stayed where I was and looked him right in the eyes. He tightened his grip on my arm, but I ignored it. I saw a half-rotted muscle twitch in his jaw. "You are mine. You will always be mine. Now let's go!"

"I am Grim," I said. And I splashed my cup of hot coffee at his face. He screamed and let go of my arm to wipe and clutch at the burned flesh.

A peacekeeper on the bridge above yelled down at us about the commotion. But I was already in the shadows. Aleister swore at me and threatened me while he staggered around with his rotten face all red and burned.

I left the city and spent the rest of the day planning how to make his undeath as miserable as he made my life.

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I saw Aleister again this morning. I was nervous while I waited for him, but when I saw him, I only felt hate. I never hated anyone this much. I wanted to slice him apart right there.

I didn't buy coffee today. I hid in the shadow's along Kevin's path and waited. Aleister bought coffee. His right cheek had a burn scar on it. I followed him.

He went to the World's End and sat at a table in the back. Another Forsaken and an orc were sitting there already, and two trolls joined them soon after. They all looked as worn out and dirty as Aleister. There were cards and dice on the table. A waitress brought a tray of drinks to them.

Some Forsaken don't remember their life before their death. Some, like me, build a new "life" for themselves after being raised or freed by the Dark Lady. And some, like Aleister, live their undeath the same as they lived their life, trying to pretend that nothing changed.

Booze and gambling. That was Aleister's whole life, along with making potions and elixirs to fund part of his habits. Having a rogue under his thumb, to steal gold and valuables for him, made up the other part. Having a rogue also came in handy when someone came calling to collect debts that Aleister couldn't pay. I wonder how he'll pay for his gambling now.

I could have waited for him to leave and then sliced him in two with my swords. I could have followed him home and cut off his head when he passed out.

That would be too easy. For him.

I have other plans.

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I woke to his voice this morning. I was afraid that somehow he found my tent, and I would have to find a new home. I was surprised to realize that I wouldn't move because I was afraid of him, but because I would have to kill him instead of torturing him if he came calling. But he was outside, talking to someone else.

I crawled off my cot as quietly as I could. I never did like coffins that some Forsaken prefer. I know that I'm not alive, but I have more of a life now than I did before the plague got me. Coffins seem to be for the ones who are sad with their new "life" and wish they could stay dead.

I peeked out through a hole in the side of my tent. Aleister was out there, talking to one of the trolls he played cards with yesterday. The troll was cleaned up a bit from yesterday, and wearing mostly clean clothes. I could hear their voices, but I couldn't make out what they were saying. Aleister handed the troll a small pouch that jingled. Paying a gambling debt?

The troll walked away in the direction of the orphanage next door. I couldn't see where he went from the hole in my tent. Aleister stayed there and sat on one the crates near the path.

I watched him. For how long, I don't know. Eventually, the troll came back, leading a little troll girl by the hand. The girl's hair looked like silver and gold mixed together. She carried an orange kitten in her arm. I saw that girl before, at the orphanage. The kids came over sometimes to play with my pets. They liked the animals.

Aleister handed the big troll another little pouch. Then he took the girl's hand and led her away. She asked him something and looked back at the big troll, but Aleister ignored her. He just dragged her away. His new little prize?

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What would they do to me? Suitable and bloody is what she ordered. I wonder who will do it. As much as I dread it, I wish they'd get it over with. Whatever it is, the one who failed me, causing me to fail the Mistress, would suffer the same thing twice as much.

I wanted to talk to Yichi about it, but he wasn't at the meeting, and I couldn't find him. I wrote him a note, but I threw it away instead of mailing it. It was my failure. I'm responsible for the rogues. I won't get another Grim involved.

I wanted company, but I've only ever had one friend who wasn't a Grim. I went to a place in the human lands called Three Corners. Lucion took me there once. I sat on the rocks and watched the waterfall. He used to fish there when he was little, when he was human. I thought of sleeping there all night, like he said he used to do, but it wouldn't be safe for me to sleep there. I looked for his parents' graves that he showed me once, but I couldn't find them. I forget where they were. I wanted to see if there was a third grave next to them. I wonder if he's still alive and where he is. Maybe I'll go back and look again tomorrow.

I hope they get it over with soon. I hope I'm brave enough to not run away. The other one sounded brave when I talked to him about it after the meeting. I hope I can be as brave as him. I hope it won't hurt too much, but I know it will. Suitable and bloody. I hope I never fail the Mistress again.

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The more I learn, the less sense it all makes. I learned a lot tonight at the Winter Veil party.

There are some Grims plotting bad things, mostly elves, but someone else was named as being involved too. I don't believe it though. I trusted him completely. I talked to him the other night about this stuff. If he's involved, then everything is turned upside down. Everyone is turning against everyone else. I don't know who I can trust anymore.

I don't understand any of it. I heard rumor that my punishment would be a flogging. Anaie said she was flogged once. She said it hurts bad, and the hurt lingers for a long time. I asked her if she screamed. She said she didn't remember, but she said it made her cry. She said to bite on one of my gloves when it was time. It would help. Someone else gave me some elixirs to drink before it.

I don't know what I should have done different to avoid displeasing the Mistress. It's all because of Cessily. I had to control her better. I don't understand though. Mistress kicked her out because she was bad. Then she let her be Grim again. Now I'm to be punished because Cessily was bad. If Cessily was that bad, why did Mistress let her come back to the Grim?

I told Anaie that I'm scared. I haven't had to take a beating without fighting back since before the plague. Ever since then, I fight or run away. I thought of running away. Anaie asked where I would go. That was the problem. I couldn't run away from Grim. I don't know anything else. I don't know anyone else that I could go to. Even if I did, I would regret it. My home here was worth a beating. "You are Grim through and through." Lucion told me that once, a long time ago. He knew me so well. I wish I could talk to him now. I wish I could see him again.

Seeing Aleister again last week brought back a lot of memories. I was a different person when he knew me in life. I'm stronger now. I'm not afraid of bullies anymore. Or so I thought. Now I was to be flogged because it was the will of the Mistress, and I don't really understand why. I don't want to be that person again. That person who took beatings without question because someone else wanted me to. That person was weak and stupid and scared. But I have no choice.

There are things going on in the Grim. Plots and secret plans. I don't know what to do. For now, I will try to stay on the Mistress's good side and do what I'm told. Tonight I will try to find one of the few Grims that I still trust and ask him what he makes of all this. I'll ask him what I should do, which side I should be on.

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(( If anyone said anything bad to Syreena about Yichimet, I'm coming for them. >:o ))

((not me! though once i saw Kia and Cess talking to Yichi I was all over discrediting them! Yichi find me out with all his shamanistic mumbo jumbo))

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I'm waiting for the Irredeemables to summon me. I'll scream and cry from the pain, but I don't think they'll actually do any permanent damage to me. And Cessily will be punished too. By my orders if not by my own hand. A good test for my would-be assistant.

I'm waiting for Aleister to walk by so I can follow him. I haven't forgotten about him, but my plans may be put on hold for a while because of everything else going on. Anaie knows now. She'll help me destroy him.

And I'm waiting for the last trusted one, other than Anaie and Grog, to come back. I read his reply several times. Only four short sentences asking about the treason against the Mistress and letting me know he would head back to the city immediately.

Now I know what his answer will be. I should have known all along. I'll tell him everything I know, and I'll ask him to make it all clear to me, but I know what his decision will be, and I'll stand by it. I'll take my punishment, the traitors will be dealt with, and things will go back to normal.

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Me and Anaie spent most of the evening last night talking to Sammuel and then Yichi.

Sammuel said the Mistress is just making The Grim stronger. There's too much weakness in our ranks. But he also said she's been distant lately, even with him. He didn't seem to know much about what was going on.

I was silly to ever doubt Yichi. The ones he was talking to are apparently trying to help the Mistress, not plot against her. One of those elves thought something very, very terrible was happening to the Mistress, but she has since posted a confession that she was making it all up or something.

Everything can go back to normal again. Mistress is just being harsh because there are too many loud-mouthed new Grims who need to learn how things work around here. I will help her keep people in line, and I've started yelling at people about things already.

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I gave out some rogue assignments last night:

Emmons - suitable and bloody

Cessily - find out what's up with Mattheux

I think I will keep giving out assignments to some rogues. Emmons, because he wants to be my assistant, and I know he'll get the jobs done. He'll get the important ones. Cessily, to keep her busy and out of trouble, and as a test to see if she can take orders and complete assignments.

Cessily has been behaving better lately. But now, when I tell her to be quiet, and she does, then other Grims think it's their turn to say something mean to her, and I have to yell at them so she doesn't start again, cause if she gets in trouble again, that means I'm going to get in trouble again. If she keeps being good, and if she does the assignments I give her, then I'll let her stay a Grim. But if she acts like trouble again, I'm not going to take a chance of getting punished again because of her.

I followed Aleister home from the World's End last night to see where he lives. He lives in a shabby tent down past the cooks. This morning, after he left to go buy coffee or play cards or whatever he does, I looked inside his tent. The troll girl was sleeping on a blanket on the ground. Her orange kitten was tucked under her arm.

So I waited. Eventually, the girl came out and walked away.

I snuck inside the tent. There was a cot there, and the girl's blanket on the ground, and a two crates next to each other with empty vials and jars of motes on them. Herbs were hanging to dry on a string tied at two ends of the tent. I untied the string and put it, and all the herbs on it, into a bag. The vials and jars went in there too.

There was mostly junk in the crates. A dull dagger with a fancy handle, a pair of old boots, a worn out cloak, and a couple other pieces of clothes in one crate. The other had a jug of water, a loaf of bread, some empty bottles that smelled like rum, and a tarnished serving platter. It all went into my sack.

Then I left, taking all of Aleister's stuff. I wondered how many days in gambling money I set him back by taking all his alchemy supplies.

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Cessily completed her assignment last night. I told her I might have another, more dangerous assignment for her soon. I'm not sure I trust her with it, but I'm not willing to risk anyone else.

And then Emmons completed his assignment. So now that part is done. I wonder if Cessily hates me now, or hates me more. She probably already hated me from when I took her treasure hunting.

I remember when we used to fight in Molten Core every week. Back in those days, all of us rogues were like our own little team inside the bigger group. Except Abric. He was always by himself. The rest of us would line up beside each other on our mounts while we were waiting to leave Kargath. People always asked us what we were doing and why we were lined up like that.

Sometimes I miss the way things were before the portal opened.

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I went to Aleister's tent again, careful to avoid notice from the Peacekeepers as I entered. The troll girl was sleeping on her blanket with her kitten.

I had a kitten once when I was alive. After Aleister smashed its skull with the heel of his boot, I never dared bring another pet home.

I moved quietly behind the sleeping girl. Then I yanked her head back by the hair and dumped a vial of liquid into her mouth. She struggled as she awoke, but the Dreamless Sleep potion took effect quickly.

The kitten jumped up onto Aleister's cot and started grooming a front leg. I put my hand on the back of the kitten's head. It mewed and arched its neck into my hand to be petted.

I rubbed its neck while I pulled out a dagger. It was the same dagger I took from here the other day, only I had sharpened it while I had it.

The kitten mewed again when I shoved the dagger through its chest. Blood spilled on the cot and blankets.

I left before the girl woke up. I heard her scream a moment later.

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Cessily wants to be more Grim, and she asked for my help. Honestly, I'm not sure she has what it takes to last with us. I'll give her some time to show potential, but the ranks need to be made stronger by removing the weakness.

Cessily is one of "those" elves. Those elves that seem to not see things as the rest of the Grim does. They act different. They treat people different. They get defensive anytime anyone says anything they don't like, and they talk back to everyone. Maybe they would be happier if they went back to their fancy city and stayed there.

Then maybe they wouldn't get in the way of how we look at the other elves, the ones that are truly Horde and Grim. Qabian, Krinathalalala, probably all the other Grim elves that I don't know because they don't make a ton of noise like "those" elves do. I don't think they're as bad as I thought all elves are. It's just the annoying ones shove themselves in our faces, so we don't see the more respectable elves as much.

Cessily wants to change though. She said she wants to be able to focus, that she wants "it" out of her. "It" turned out to be love for another woman. She told me it's preventing her from being able to focus on being a good Grim. She asked me what to do.

"Make her hate you," I told her. I don't know if that will work or not, but it was the only thing I could think of.

Emmons said she's broken down now and ready to be molded into the Grim she should be. Maybe.

Too much weakness in the ranks, and I don't have time to personally mold every single rogue among us who needs it. And I don't want to get in trouble with the Mistress again because of one of my rogues embarrassing the guild or being weak or causing trouble.

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