Way Back When: Thrall Hall High Parody (( Semi Open )) [Warning: Highly Offensive]

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[ WARNING: There's a demon clearly driving all of this. This little “parody” has a considerable amount of swearing. We're talking "f bomb' galore, and potential adult situations in some sections. I'm seriously warning you not to read this if you're easily offended.

Some characters are most definitely WAY off their IG counter part, and none of this is even remotely intended to be taken seriously.

You have been warned!

The thread leading up and still used in reference while writing up: http://wow-tng.org/showthread.php?t=6951

It was initially considered to be a single cohesive set of stories by yours truly, but there'd be no fun if I hogged that all to myself. Keep in mind I had a rough story arc planned as I write so I gently urge nothing too derailing surfaces ;). ]


[setting: The male hostel. A decently sized, vaguely tidy lounge with the morning light coming in through the windows. It’s a Sunday morning, 7:00 am, a light drizzle raining outside. There is a large coffee table with the normal breakfast foods laid out in the centre, complete with chairs near the small kitchen in the corner. Next to the TV cabinet are a few beanbags. The rest of the room is littered with couches. There are only few familiar faces present, only a few don’t appear tired. THORAGGAR and ILLELATRO are sitting down at the coffee table. DIOMADES and XENAKEN are both sleeping on separate beanbags.]

LEOREN walks in down from the staircase, predictably half naked by choice only wearing a pair of battered shorts, his hair is considerably scruffy. He looks towards the common area, and starts to walk over before being called back to the knocking on the front door. He opens it slowly, revealing a very straight faced ATANASIA.

LEOREN (groggily): Uh...

ATANASIA (tonelessly): Leoren, I'm here on Hellista's request. I'm to bring you to her.

LEOREN (edging backwards a bit): Ah... Atanasia, I am sorry. I am...


LEOREN (hesitantly): ... Not here right now.

(ATANASIA tilts her head and looks baffled.)

ATANASIA: You're not? Oh, that's an inconvenience. I'll check back again soon. Hellista still instructed me to leave this if you weren't.

(ATANASIA hands an envelope to LEOREN, swiftly pivoting in a circle and walks off, right out through the compund's gate without so much as another word. LEOREN stares after her, slightly boggled, before closing the door.)

LEOREN (to himself): ... I admit, I did not think that would work.

LEOREN opens the envelope, reading the letter while barely awake. It reads:

"Dear Leoren,

So sorry about interrupting you two love birds last night. I DO hope I didn't spoil the mood. I simply couldn't pass up the chance to chat with my favourite Quarterback, didn't mean to impose. Anyway, I'm sure my presence and words wouldn't slow a stud like you down. Always a fan,

~ Hellista. (Signed with a small heart dotting the 'i')

LEOREN scrunches the paper in his hand quite grumpily as he motions in towards the common room, throwing it into a near by bin with some precision.

LEOREN (tired): Morning guys…

LEOREN wipes his eyes tiredly as he scans the room for any signs of life.

ILLELATRO, a casually dressed troll tears himself away from his buttered bagel and newspaper and glances over his shoulder back at LEOREN. THORAGGAR, a massive giant of an orc, is too busy humming to some random metal rock tune while scribbling down something on a sheet of paper. They're both dressed considerably neater than the scruffy newcomer.

ILLELATRO: Ya look like hell.

ILLELATRO then returns his attention to his newspaper, lifting his bagel and casually proceeds with breakfast.

LEOREN: Yeah well, I didn't really get much sleep ...

THORAGGAR: What? Thor thought you had date last night?

THORAGGAR suddenly plucks his MP3 player's buds out of his ears and glances at LEOREN curiously. LEOREN looks a little hesitant being addressed that question so suddenly.

ILLELATRO: Wot's dis now?

THORAGGAR: No rumpeh pumpeh?

LEOREN (disgruntled): Don’t want to talk about it.

THORAGGAR (naively): Huh…? What happen?

ILLELATRO smirks broadly, shaking his head to himself before his present company.

ILLELATRO (snickering): Figah's ya'd blow some'tin like dat anyway.

On that note, ILLELATRO takes the last bite out of his bagel, wipes his hands cleanly and calmly settles his eyes back to the newspaper in solitude, occasionally looking out the window. LEOREN gracelessly makes his way to the coffee table and takes a seat beside THORAGGAR, who welcomes him with a broad, reassuring smile.

THORAGGAR: It okay. Thor not get lucky in long time too.

Both LEOREN and ILLELATRO look at THORAGGAR with a little awkwardness. THORAGGAR loses his smile as he grows increasingly self conscious. He begins to sheepishly wring his slightly pudgy wrists.

THORAGGAR: What? It not easy being green ...

ILLELATRO (to his newspaper): Anyway Leo, Ah'll find out one way or anoda. Ah always do.

LEOREN remains quiet as he takes a bowl and fills it up with muesli and then shortly after, milk. He begins to eat, the two boys at the table continue without any noise whatsoever. DIOMADES’s head slowly bobs up from one of the beanbags, clearly too small to support the Tauren's size. XENAKEN, an undead youth remains asleep.

XENAKEN: Zzzz… Pandarens...

DIOMADES (muffled): Nnngh…

DIOMADES suddenly blinks at the ceiling, for a moment appears to be confused as he looks at his surroundings, then suddenly seems to remember why he’s here. He then glances over at the clock on the wall, and then backwardly slumps into his beanbag again closing his eyes and tries to get some sleep. LEOREN and THORAGGAR, both apparently watching then turn to look at each other, they both shrug without a word.

QABIAN, a smartly dressed Blood Elf, enters walking down the stairs. LEOREN and THORAGGAR both notice him.

THORAGGAR (happily): Throm ka!

LEOREN (droll): Hello.

ILLELATRO (lifting his head from his piece of paper boredly): 'Ey mon.

QABIAN: Morning gentlemen.

QABIAN walks over to the kitchen, passing ILLELATRO, LEOREN and THORAGGAR at the coffee table, he smirks confidently, seemingly without reason as he slides two pieces of bread down the toaster. ILLELATRO appears to be a little too consumed with the article he’s reading.

LEOREN (to QABIAN): … So … what were you up to last night?

QABIAN: Oh, nothing much really. Same as Illelatro I presume.

LEOREN (to ILLELATRO): And you were…?

LEOREN restfully takes a bite of his cereal.

ILLELATRO (to his newspaper): 'omework.

At those words, LEOREN almost chokes as he pulls the spoon away from his mouth. He recovers quickly and puts his spoon next to his bowl. Both QABIAN and ILLELATRO share an unsurprised demeanor. THORAGGAR rushes in a well meaning but awfully hard slap to LEOREN's back to stop him from choking, creating a loud smacking noise which almost woke the two boys sleeping on their bean bags. LEOREN writhes, clearly more pained by THORAGGAR's efforts than the brief choking moment preceding it.

LEOREN (groaning): Crap! I forgot all about History due tomorrow!

ILLELATRO smirks slightly as he pours himself a glass of orange juice.

ILLELATRO (insincerely): Wish ah cud 'elp ya. Really, ah do. Ah jus' don take history.

THORAGGAR (sincerely): Same!

LEOREN: Shit. Coach Liadrin will kick my ass if I'm held back from practice again...

QABIAN finishes buttering his toast and then eventually joins everyone at the table. ILLELATRO continues to drink his juice.

THORAGGAR: Hey, why not borrow someone’s work?

THORAGGAR turns his eyes to QABIAN, looking him over curiously. LEOREN follows THORAGGAR's eyes, quirking a brow in suspense.

QABIAN (snidely): Bite me.

LEOREN sighs disappointedly, THORAGGAR looking equally saddened by his reply.

LEOREN (to THORAGGAR): Anyway, I might just have to do that. I’ll ask Bir later, he’s sure to have done it. Or at least swiped it off somebody else.

The other three boys at the table slowly turn their attention towards LEOREN exclusively. LEOREN appears pretty uncomfortably.

LEOREN (apprehensive): What? He's a friend ...

The other three boys look at each other unsurely, and then gruffly shrug. LEOREN remains awkward, but without saying a word like the others, drops it. QABIAN slowly lifts his head and turns his sights to the stairs.

QABIAN (not entirely surprised): Speak of the devil.

All the boys in the room, excluding the still sleeping DIOMADES and XENAKEN on the beanbags, turn their head to the stairs. BIR is seen sauntering down the stairs, dressed extravagantly wearing all sorts of colors looking in actuality quite tasteful, if not like a Mexican Piñata.

BIR (cheerfully): Morning all. My my, this is quite the charming gathering of athletes!

BIR suddenly notices QABIAN, dressed smartly in a buttoned up shirt and bow tie.

BIR: ... And you!

QABIAN visibly twitches across his forehead, clearly unamused. BIR glances to the side noticing DIOMADES and XENAKEN.

BIR: … And those two!

DIOMADES and XENAKEN remain oblivious. Before anyone fits in a word of response, BIR has already seated himself near QABIAN at the coffee table, smiling casually as he quickly snatches the last bagel. LEOREN, ILLELATRO and THORAGGAR all wave or gesture in more or less a welcoming fashion.

LEOREN: Hey Bir, what’s with the get up? Drama club rehearsing again today?

BIR: Bah, they don’t do Sunday practices anymore silly. Do you like it?

BIR in record time consumes the rest of his bagel; no one pays it any heed.

LEOREN (tactfully): Ah, yeah… sure, anyway –

BIR: Ooooh! That reminds me. You all really should come by to the drama room sometime. Perhaps if I offer you boys outRAGEous sexual favors, you'd be so kind as to whip out your swords and teach us some stage fencing?

A cat smile spreads across BIR’s face while everyone else present, including DIOMADES & XENAKEN who apparently weren't completely asleep, freezes. QABIAN is also frozen as his hand turned motionless as he was reaching for the other piece of toast. Even ILLELATRO has lost his cool composure. BIR's grinning like an idiot while everyone just simply stares at him. NETHERYN, KHAELL and SABACHTHAN, three undead youths, both draped in black attire adorned with an assortment of satanic and heavy metal logos walk down the stairs. Each are carrying a cigarette box each as they head towards the door, they glance at the motionless individuals in the room then glance at each other.

NETHERYN: Bunch of Faggots.

KHAELL: Fucking know it to.

SABACHTHAN, annoyed for no apparent only reason adjusts his beanie to conceal his prematurely balding head and makes his way to the door. NETHERYN and KHAELL follow lazily, after they take a brief pause to curse the sleeping DIOMADES, still on his small bean bag. NETHERYN, KHAELL & SABACHTHAN eventually leave the silent room. The quiet is eventually broken by THORAGGAR’s, then LEOREN’s weak laughter.

THORAGGAR (weakly): Haha…y-you funny elf Bir.

Everyone unconsciously shifts away in the opposite direction except for THORAGGAR. After a while they calm and return to their previous demeanor. BIR can’t help himself but laugh. DIOMADES eventually settles back into his beanbag again.

BIR (with a hint of deviousness): C’mon, I was only joking. Though seriously, we do need more boys in the drama club. I'm sure Niethan would agree.

LEOREN: Ah yeah… anyway. Bir, done your History?

BIR: But of course, let me guess you hopeless knave. Too busy wooing a certain lady to do your homework?

LEOREN recoils back into his seat apparently embarassed. ILLELATRO, having finished his article places it next to his empty plate and simply crosses his legs and turns his head to listen. As everyone's eyes fall on LEOREN, QABIAN opportunely glances over at THORAGGAR’s piece of paper to find out what the hell he’s been writing or drawing all this time. A series of crude and infantile picturegraphs. LEOREN says nothing, only slightly stressing at his muesli bowl before BIR dramatically sighs.

BIR: Fine, I’ll lend you my book.

LEOREN (relievedly): … Thanks.

BIR: Sure, now about that sexual favor…

QABIAN swallows the last of his toast, quite audibly as he glances at BIR and LEOREN. ILLELATRO and THORAGGAR follow in the same repetitive and predictable manner.

LEOREN: You're ... rather out there aren't you?

BIR (innocently): What? Oh c’mon I was only kidding! You boys have no sense of humor. C'mon Leo, I'll go get it for you now.

LEOREN and BIR both get up and walk over to the stairs. They leave and everything the room returns to normal.

QABIAN (quietly): Alright, I just have to ask. What the fel are they doing sleeping down here?

QABIAN then gestures over to the beanbags where DIOMADES and XENAKEN are sleeping. ILLELATRO and THORAGGAR look at each other a moment, then turn their attention to QABIAN.

ILLELATRO (calmly): Deir rooms ah' nex' ta Skaf's. Satahday eve'nin las night. You do dah' maths.


QABIAN arches his eyebrows, quite amused at THORAGGAR's innocence. Suddenly, without a further word a skimpily dressed girl dashes from the stairs and instantly exits through the door in a hurry. She moves so quickly, none of the boys could see anything to identify her by. SKAFLOC, wearing a silk robe and fluffy pink slippers, is seen walking down the staircase quite smug right after this. The boys at the table all see this; THORAGGAR looks like he has just realized something. They all then look at each other again.

ILLELATRO: … Luck'eh son o' ah bitch.

QABIAN (quietly): I hate him.

THORAGGAR (wonderingly): Maybe if Thor have his hair...

SKAFLOC has seated himself on the couch opposite the TV, not addressing anyone in the room. He flips the controller and turns the TV on. DIOMADES and XENAKEN, being in close vicinity of the sudden noise both groan loudly. SKAFLOC smirks quietly and watches TV.

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[iNTERLUDE SETTING: Behind the school Gym in a shady little alley. SABACHTHAN. KHAELL and NETHERYN are leaning against the wall of the gym.]

NETHERYN, KHAELL & SABACHTHAN all have a cigarette in their mouth, arms folded, generally aloof. An orc student walks by. NETHERYN retracts his cigarette away from his mouth and spits at the innocent passer by. The stocky orc glares at him and quickly trudges away.

NETHERYN (noncommittally): Cool.


SABACHTHAN rolls his eyes unimpressedly.

SECURO: Like, totally.

General silence as the three realize there’s a fourth present who appeared seemingly from out of no where, also leaning against the wall next to NETHERYN.


NETHERYN (to SECURO): Who the FUCK invited you?

SECURO: Oh c’mon guys? I bought you the cigs AND hate the Alliance?

KHAELL: Oh fuck, let the little hissing crybaby stay.


NETHERYN: Shit Khaell, you getting sweet on him? He gonna be your girlfriend?

KHAELL: Shut the fuck up asswipe.

NETHERYN: Make me faggot.

KHAELL and NETHERYN start a shoving brawl which doesn’t last for long before the two eventually settle back into their positions. SABACHTHAN idly unlids a 'Hello Kitty' tupaware container, revealing a bounty of freshly baked brownies. The Ghants, all still smoking lit cigarettes break character for a slither of a moment as they all eye the contents hungrily.

NETHERYN: Nymare's?

SABACHTHAN: Indeed. She made them for us this morning.

KHAELL: Sweet.

SECURO: Wow, those look go--

SABACHTHAN (bluntly): Ghants only.

SECURO (quietly): ... Was just saying ...

The Ghants proceed to pass the container around, sharing the brownies to the exclusion of SECURO. They finish the brownies in short work, instantly returning to their brooding demeanors. Everything remains quiet as SOLENEV walks by the three, SABACHTHAN is the only one to nod at her with some dignity as she passes. Still, she visibly airs a look of regret of ever using the hidden shortcut, although does wink indiscretely at SABACHTHAN.

NETHERYN: … I’d do her.

KHAELL: Yeah you would fuckface.

NETHERYN: Fuck off.

SECURO (dreamily): What a babe…

SABACHTHAN sighs, electing not to comment.



KHAELL and NETHERYN (to SECURO): Who the FUCK asked you?

General silence lasts for a while.

KHAELL: Too fat for me, man.

NETHERYN: Damnit, get a hair cut man. She was fiiine. Probably have a chance to. I hear she's the school bicycle. Everyone gets a ride. There's hope for you yet dip shit.

KHAELL: Says the bald dumbass.

NETHERYN and KHAELL, once again exchange a set of shoves. After a while they gradually settle back into place. NINORRA and IZRAIL saunter in.

IZRAIL (unenthusiastically to NINORRA): Oh dear. The Ghant boys again.

NINORRA (addressing the undead youths): Ugh. Do you guys -mind-? We've told you before. This has always been our spot. Don't make me call my boyfriend on all your asses.

SABACHTHAN (to himself with slight amusement): ... Which one?

NETHERYN and KHAELL rise angrily from their spots, SABACHTHAN suddenly stepping forward to block them.

SABACHTHAN (dryly): Forgive my brothers. We were just leaving.

SECURO: Sorry...

IZRAIL (snickering): Mmmhmmm. Yes you were.

NINORRA (botheredly): About time. God! You jerks are insufferable.

KHAELL and NETHERYN look at each other, clearly too tired to care. The three undead brothers stalk off reluctantly away from the alley and find a suitably reclusive spot a few buildings away, SECURO close behind them. NETHERYN and KHAELL lean against the wall, seething at this point. SABACHTHAN composedly resumes puffing his cigarette.

NETHERYN: Fuckers.

KHAELL: Bitches.

SECURO: Yeah. What ASSholes.

SABACHTHAN (instantly): Shut up Securo.

NETHERYN and KHAELL both simultaneously puff a cloud of smoke from their nostrils.

NETHERYN: I ought to beat the crap out of them all. I’d break in each of their crying little faces.

KHAELL: Right, sure you would. You're so weak you can’t even jack off your own dick.

NETHERYN: And you know ALL about jerking dick. Hell, you'd probably suck Securo’s for a nickel and a rimjob.

KHAELL: Fuck you, dickjizz!

SECURO: Uh... what's a rimjob?




NETHERYN, KHAELL and SABACHTHAN don’t say anything, they only look at each other quietly. They toss their cigarette butts on the ground and simply walk away leaving SECURO behind. SECURO moves to follow but NETHERYN, KHAELL and SABACHTHAN split up in opposite directions. SECURO is left in the middle a concrete pathway looking hopelessly confused.

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[sETTING: A well furnished room, the late afternoon sun shining through the window giving a warm hue. There are two beds on opposite sides of the room, each with a little cabinet next to them. There are two desks with chairs. In one of the corners is a closet. Three boys are present. LEOREN, now completely dressed is sitting at his desk writing furiously. BIR is perched up on one end of the bed doing absolutely nothing.]

LEOREN while writing down occasionally glimpses over at BIR’s book next to his, pausing often to think, occasionally tapping his lips with his pen. BIR looks bored.

LEOREN: (while writing): The opening of the dark portal heralded the beginning of …

BIR motions up and down on the bed causing a squeaking noise. LEOREN flinches only slightly, turning his head back to BIR.

LEOREN (quietly): What is it?

BIR: This bed. Terribly uncomfortable... and narrow to boot! How DO you keep the girls entertained with a horrible monk's bed like this?

LEOREN snorts and returns to his work. BIR seems to have finished whatever he was reading and tosses the book onto is desk, flips his feet onto the desk as well and leans back in his chair staring into nothing at the wall. BIR scrambles to the back of the bed and yanks the little drawer next to it open and pokes around.

BIR: Hmmm…? Pencils, ruler, BIG eraser, and letters –

LEOREN turns his head slowly to watch BIR without saying a word.

BIR: Don’t worry, I won’t read them. What’s this…? Oh!

BIR pulls out a small golden pendant, grinning at it interestedly.

LEOREN (detatchedly): An ex gave that to me.

BIR: Well your ex had EX-QUISITE taste! Can I borrow it? Please? I bet it'd look pretty with a --

LEOREN (to his work): No.

BIR reluctantly surrenders the pendant back into the drawer. LEOREN continues to absorb himself in his efforts while Bir continues to nosily poke around in the drawer.

BIR (teasingly): … Ooooh! Condoms! How prepared are you?!

LEOREN (still to his work): Yeah well, my Aunt’s a nurse…

BIR: And realistic too!

LEOREN exhales hopelessly as he continues to work, however hearing BIR shuffle his hand further into the draw; he becomes very, very still and glances over his shoulder. BIR then suddenly feels something, and then pulls out a half-empty bottle of hand lotion. Beneath it lays a copy "Goldshire's Busty Beauties", the cover featuring two half naked women, a human and night elf both posing invitingly and suggestively near a mail box. BIR arches his eyebrows, grinning like an idiot. LEOREN turns bright red.

LEOREN(embarassedly): … Shit, put that stuff away.

BIR (snickering helplessly): Oh wow. If what Izrail's spreading around is true, I didn't know you and Skaf had so much in common.

LEOREN (frustratedly): Shaddap.

BIR: Someone's not getting any loving? I'm positively SHOCKED.

LEOREN only casts an evil eye at Bir in warning. BIR reluctantly wedges it back into place, still grinning. LEOREN tosses his pen onto his work.

LEOREN: Screw it. I've done enough work for one afternoon. I’m starving.

LEOREN reaches for his mobile, perusing his contact list. Rather selectively, he starts sending out text messages.

LEOREN: Let's see who else wants to head out to grab a bite.

BIR (suddenly): You're buying. Fair's fair. I deserve -some- kind of reward.

LEOREN (unenthusiastically): Fine. Let's go grab Thor down the hall way and start heading.

BIR: If I knew this was all it took to get you to buy me dinner, I would have given you my books a long time ago.

LEOREN (smirking): I'm -sure- your girlfriend would appreciate your humor.

BIR (evasively): ... Erm. Yes. 'She' would. Anyway! Time waits for no one, not even you golden boy.

LEOREN (grunting): I'm coming, I'm coming.

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[setting: A small, cozy, normal hostel room. Beds and desks are where they should be. THORAGGAR is here on a stool in front of the mirror.]

THORAGGAR, an enormous, well muscled orc with slight amounts of pudge, is watching himself through the mirror tilting his head occasionally side to side rubbing his chin wondering if he should shave or not. After a while, he hops off the stool creating a loud thud as he lands on the floor. He trudges along to his bed and settles himself down the end of the bed, dangling his feet slightly bored. Suddenly the door bursts open and TAMORA rushes in.

TAMORA: Thor, I just can’t hold it back anymore. I LOVE you. Please, is there any chance for the two of us?

THORAGGAR looks at the doorway dumbstruck and can barely respond.


TAMORA (frantically): I’m, I’m sorry! Was I too quick for you? I – LOVE – YOU – THOR. Do you love me too? Is there any hope? You're the only man for me!

THORAGGAR (dumbstruck): Uhm… oh … You sure you got right Thor?

TAMORA: Of course I do, who do you think I meant?

THORAGGAR: Ahhh… Wait, how you even get in here?

TAMORA (evasively): That's not important, what is, is that I know you’re slightly chubby – but that’s okay! We'll work out together! Because I LOVE YOU!

THORAGGAR (nervously): O-oh! Stop! You making Thor nervous and all!

TAMORA's eyes begin to turn watery.

TAMORA (frightened): So… so… you don’t love me?!

THORAGGAR: GOL'KOSH! Give Thor a second! Thor sure you a very nice girl and maybe Thor do care for you but ... Thor never expected it to blow up in face like this!

TAMORA: You… care for me?

TAMORA's eyes begin to shake with emotion, tears seem to be swelling up.


TAMORA (elatedly): Oh Thor, I’m sorry, I just do LOVE YOU –

Suddenly the door bursts open with GORVENA, another female orc student fuming noticeably.

GORVENA: I HEARD every word you, you little tramp!

THORAGGAR (repeats a familiar question): ... How you get here?

TAMORA (curtly): This is private!

GORVENA: You WISH, get this straight bimbo, *I* love Thor.

THORAGGAR (surprised, shocked and confused): YOU DO?!

GORVENA: OBVIOUSLY! How could I have made things any clearer?!


TAMORA: But … I love Thor! And we love each other –

THORAGGAR (interrupts): WUT?!

TAMORA and GORVENA (to THORAGGAR): Stay out of this!

THORAGGAR just whimpers as he desperately wrings his wrist while watching the two fighting girls.

GORVENA: What kind of life mate would you make anyways?! Flirting around with everyone!?

THORAGGAR (whimpering): LIFE MATE?! B-but Thor only eighteen!

GORVENA (to THORAGGAR): You shut it buster!

THORAGGAR freezes petrified yet again.

TAMORA: Look how you’re treating him! So insensitive of his feelings!

GORVENA: We love each other; it’s alright for me to be casual around him!

TAMORA: Does he love you?! No, he loves me!

GORVENA: Oho?! Let’s ask him ourselves SHALL we?!

GORVENA and TAMORA (to THORAGGAR in furious harmony): WELL?!

THORAGGAR (timidly): Thor scared... zug... zug?

TAMORA: Thor! For the last time – I love you! Do you love me?!

GORVENA: But Thor! *I* love you! Tell me you care! PLEASE!

Suddenly, completely unannounced, SECURO enters through the door.

SECURO: I know this is sick, and kind of sudden… but… Thor, I love you.

Everyone in the room looks at SECURO; there is utter silence for what may seem eternity.

THORAGGAR: Daaaah…dah…bu….

SECURO: I knew you’d react that way. Oh well.

Suddenly GORVENA and TAMORA leap towards SECURO, in record time bringing him hurtling down to the floor. He remains frozen in place as the two Orc lionesses beat him repeatedly.


THORAGGAR suddenly bounces onto the floor and runs towards the door as fast as his legs can carry him. On the way, he crashes into LEOREN. LEOREN stumbles back falling onto his rear. Thoraggar then gazes down at LEOREN’s eyes with a glimmer of hope. BIR terrifiedly hides behind a near by potted plant.

THORAGGAR (desperately): Leo, PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE tell Thor you don't love him?!

LEOREN (surprised): Well, actually Thor I do love you –

THORAGGAR gazes at his eyes in absolute horror, screaming at the top of his lungs in a near effeminate pitch and then suddenly bolts past LEOREN with his arms up in the air, flailing randomly. He screams something completely incomprehensible, his echo still lingering through the hallways.

LEOREN (concludes): … Like the brother I never had?


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((((Ok, so I figured I'd give a little reason for Turen to be transferred there. Hope this works fine for the story. I'll take ito ut if its not. I didn't put any other toons but Turen in it because I didn't wanna hjack anyones character.))))

[An Ice-Hockey Rink. A game is in progress. One team has considerably larger players than the other. Two Humans, one mid-aged dessed like a Coach, the other an aging woman who sems to be the principal, sit watching the game]

PRINCIPAL: I still don’t understand why you have the Freshmen scrimmage the Seniors.

COACH (snorts): Hell, that’s easy. At least here they can take out their aggression where I can see it.

PRINCIPAL: I do still get complaints. You were supposed to deal with this mess.

COACH: Hey, I’m doing all I can! It’s not like I can kick every single player off the team!

[Their attention turns back onto the game. The Senior team , on the offense, is charging towards the Freshman goal in the in a flying v. The Freshmen, for the most part, stay near their goal. One player, however, charges traight towards the Seniors. He is short, but stocky, and something of a fiery red beard identifies him]

Coach [knowing whats to come]: Son of a bitch…Turen…

[The Dwarf collides with the lead Senior, a well build human with long, blonde hair. Turen lowers his head at the last moment, and his helmet collides with the Human’s groin hard enough to make those watching wince. Turen pushes both arms out at the Senior’s legs, propelling the heavy senior up and over his head to land on the ice behind him. The Senior formation immediately crashes on the Dwarf]

COACH: Fucking Dwarf

PRINCIPAL: Somethings got to be done with that one…

[Coach blows his whistle, sending the three assistant coaches to break up the fight. Turen is brought to where the Coach and Principal sit]

COACH: What the fel is wrong with you? Always starting shit like that? I swear to the Light I am going to kick your little ass off this team the next time you pull something like that again, I don’t care how many goals you’ve score! This is PRACTICE, damn it!

Turen (pulls out an earphone, which was concealed by his hair) Ye done yet?

[The Coach goes red, abviously about to go on another rant, but the Principals hand n his shoulder stops him]

PRINCIPAL: Turen…do you know why I’m here?

TUREN: T’ assist th’ Coach in bitchin’ me out?

PRINCILAL (frowning): No. I’ve just gotten a transfer request from your Father. Congratulations! You’ve gotten into the Foerign Exchange Program!

TUREN: What? Where’m ah goin?!

PRINCIPAL [grinning]: I’m sure you’ll love it at your new School, Thrall Hall High!

TUREN: THRALL HALL?! That place’s full o’ Orcs! Fuck that shite.

PRINCIPAL (continures, ignoring Turen): You’d better start packing. The bus leaves tomorrow.

TUREN (growls): Fine…this place is a shitehole anyway. Ah’ll go t’ that damned Orc School, an leave it on its ‘ead when ah’m done with it! Good riddance t’ ye, manling!

[both the Coach and Principal grin as Turen storms off.]

COACH: There was no transfer order, was there?

PRINCIPAL: Nope. His mother is dead and his father’s in the army. Nobody can really complain.

[They both watch as Turen bangs on the penalty box containing the Senor with the long blonde hair on his way towards the door. He responds to the shouting and name calling by giving everyone the finger on the way out the door.]

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((Well, I guess getting made a loser is karma for pushing that kid into lockers. Now I'm not sure if you know this, though, but posting in this section is usually only for brief comments or contributions....not bitching for 3 posts in a row. Chill out))

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((i have but one request, replace Swerto with Securo, and then start swerto off somewhere else not as the suckup bitch who will probably snap and kill the school)

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(( Swerto: You think the Ghants curse like that all the time? You had been warned.

Hilarious stuff, Leoren. I needed a good laugh today, and you delivered. I look forward to the rest. ))

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((Chill out, Swerto. I'm not even in the thing! How do you think that makes me feel?! To be sooooo unimportant to NOT be included.


Anyways, I think Leoren just means this to be a joke. Something that he thought would be fun to do.

You really shouldn't get worked up over it.

Oh, and Leoren, you need some G's in your story.

You can't have a Highschool without some G's.))

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((The name SWERTO was more funny for the part.

I mean, sound it out.


It sounds way more suck-uppish than


The whole Parody is ruined now.


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(( By all means jump in and write something with your character(s) and others if you'd like to flesh out individuals I could insert into the story arc I sort of had planned out. I'm going to be going down a rough plan of events as far as Leo's concerned but the more participation the better! ))

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((Ok, Gotcha))

SCENE: Inforn of the school, in the parking lot

Infront of the school, Frieya sat down. It had been a long time, and she lit up a cigarette, taking a deep drag.

FRIEYA: Fucking...teachers...damn hard enough to come by, harder even to get a fix...fuckers...

FRIEYA sat back, watching some of the other students walk by before she snuffed out her cancer stick and got back up,heading towards her class. She hesitated, then reaches back, smacking a male student ahead of her in the back of the head. as he flinches, she makes a quick dive for his wallet, snapping the chain that it was attached too.

FRIEYA: And thank you for contributing to the keeping Frieya from going ape shit crazy fund.

STUDENT: The hell bitch? Give me back my fucking wall-

FRIEYA waste no time, punching him square in the face, smirking as she cracks her knuckles. She pads off to class, waving behind her as she goes. Off to her side, a senior Troll sighs, shaking her head.

TILLNA: I swear, I see more and more of them going down that road...

TILLNA marks off a few things on a clipboard, her hall monitor sash drapped over her shoulder with some pride and dignity.

TILLNA: I'll need to talk to her after class..

TILLNA walks off to her class, jotting something down on her note pad, sighing again.

((Feel free to use em if you want..Frieya is a klepto Chian smoking asshole, and Tillna is a safety council kind of person...heh

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