The Clickening

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I don't know about everyone else but whenever a character in a game or a MoBA has lines for being clicked again and again, i'll click them until they get pissed off. It made me curious what some characters would do in that situation. What would your people say if they were a MoBA champion or even an NPC to be clicked repeatedly and ordered around

Tahzani Tallfisher

Upon selection:

Jah gettin’ jah money’s worth


Ah’m listenin’

Whatcha need Commandah?

Warmed up an’ ready fah de show

Waitin’ on you

What’s on jah mind?

Shadows be gathered.

Excessive clicking:

Feelin’ frisky?

Ey’ EY!... Customah service got limits

It no be wise ta cross a hexah

Ah’ don’ make toads, ah make dead tings… An’ good cocktails

Hexes, curses, agony, debilitation… An’ fine wines

Fine, keep pokin’. Spike mah rates, punk

Ordered to move:

On mah way

Pick up de pace!

Ooh, trouble comin’ dis way!

You got it

Tahz on de way.

Aight aight, ah’m goin’

Stretchin’ mah legs

Ordered to attack:

Happy hour INCOMIN’!

Spreadin’ like a virus!

De dark be comin’ fah jah!


Mah staff, your face!

Start de show!

Here ah come!

Bad day ta be dem!


Dark spirits swirl around Tahzani as he stands straight and folds his arms

“ Jah got enemies on both sides, mon.”

“ Ah be hard ta kill… You? Not so much.”

“ Don’ worry, jah make plenty a friends where you goin’


Tahzani pours a glass of wine/tankard of ale, takes a sip and sprays it out in disgust

“ Mah services be elegant, refined, an’ classy… *PFFFT!* Ugh! Most days

“ Nevah settle fah bein’ good at one ting! PFFFT! Try ta suck at many…

“ Can’ we settle dis ovah a drink? PFFFT! No. Not dat one


Tahzani clutches his own throat as dark spirits swirl around him and lift him into the air. He goes limp after a moment and is dropped to the ground as they disperse


“Okay, encore?”

“ Let’s try dat again… Witout suckin’”

“ Dat ain’t a hangovah, it much worse.”

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Nice! xD Here are some for Xara (featuring some reused clips, because video games):


(sure) "You can count on me."


(distracted) "Huh what?"

(distracted) "What huh?"

(amused/flirty) "Mmmhmmm."

(cheerful) "Need somethin'?"

(cheerful) "Ready if you are!"

Excessive click:

(mildly indignant) "I heard ya the first time!"

(mild) "Ain't ya heard of personal space?"

(amused) "Sorry, I'm taken!"

(bland) "Did I mention Fhenrir's a Gladiator?"

(wry) "Ya just don't know when ta quit, do ya?"

Ordered to move:

(cheerful/confident) "You betcha!"

(confident) "No problem!"

(purposeful) "Let's go!"

(purposeful) "Let's do this."

Ordered to attack:

(call) "Cover me!"

(sure) "I'm goin' in."

(purposeful) "Let's go!"

(purposeful) "Let's do this."


Xara puts a hand on a jutting hip and cocks her head, making her long ponytail sway.

(amused) "I've had drinks that hit harder than that!"

(flirty) "Ya gotta catch me first."

(amused) "That's all you've got?"


Xara takes out a flask and gestures with it as she speaks, taking a drink from it at the end and winking.

...I am not witty enough to come up with jokes. Something about the rum being gone is all I got!


Xara spins around and falls down on her side. Lupa crouches over her protectively.


(resolute) "I never give up."

(cheerful/resolute) "I ain't done yet!"

(wry) "I could use a drink about now."

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***WARNING: Language***

Tirien Forewell

Upon Selection:

A cheerful “Let’s go,” followed with knuckle pops.


*Acknowledging Grunt*

An indifferent “Mhm”

A friendly “Evenin’ guy/miss.”

A thoughtful “Hmm, what d’ya need?”

Excessive Clicking:

An annoyed “Okay, what?”

A sudden “Stahp it.” during a quick swipe of his hand.

A suspicious “Let’s take this elsewhere…”

A cocky “Keep it up, bud.”

Flatly stated: “I see ya ain’t gonna stop.”

In a moderately amused tone: “Guess we’ll see where this goes…”

Ordered to Move:

A confident “Easy enough.”

A purposeful “Sure, lemme handle it.”

A skeptical “All right, sure.”

A bored “Yeah, yeah.”

Ordered to Attack:

*Intimidating yell*

*Incoherent cursing in a ‘southern’ accent*

A frustrated “Damnit I ain’t got time fer this!”

An angered “Hey asshole, eat steel!”


“Where th’ hell are ya aimin’? Westfall?”

“Quit fuckin’ around and actually HIT me!”

“’Th hell was that? A summer breeze?”


“Why do thieves hate puns? ‘Cuz they take things literally.”

“Some folks say If ya can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em! I say if ya can’t beat ‘em, beat ‘em anyway to keep the element of surprise.”

“Nothin’s fool-proof to a talented fool.”


“I’m sorry, Michael … I couldn’t … find – “ Tirien attempts a pitiful crawl towards something/someone only he can see before succumbing to his wounds.


A depleted “Ugh, rough night.”

A humored “Round two.”

A mildly flat “Try number three.”

A disheartened “Magic number four!”

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Witchdoctor Aderlee


Plants his staff in the ground and leans heavily on it. "Old troll 'ere, hehe."



"Wutcha need?"

" 'ey dere."

"Needa doctah?"

Excessive Clicking:

"Ah can do dis all day."

"Ah've 'ad worse."

"Okie... Dats enough..."

"Lets find someting else fah ju tah do, eh?"

"Remembah patience, Aderlee..."

Ordered to move (jingling and bells in the backround for all movement):

"Okie dokie!"

"Not so fast."

"Ju tink dat trough?"

"Ah'll find de way."

Ordered to attack (jingling and bells in the backround for all attacks):

" 'ere come de pain!"

"Make dem weep blood."

" 'ere we go again!"



"Ah seen all ju moves a 'undred times before."

"Learn from de mastah."

"Ju not de first and won't be de last."


Flat, humorless voice "I 'ave a fetish fah ju."


Aderlee falls to his knees, spilling blood all over the ground "Dis is just anothah beginnin'."


"Ah wasn't done wid de last body."

"Dat nevah gets old."

"Feel like a new troll, hehe!"

Tayissa Steel


Draws a revolver and spins it in her hand "Ready to set sail."



"What's going on?"

"Captain Steel here."

"Ready to shoot."

Excessive Clicking:

"Get off!"

"Personal. Space."

"I've hurt men for a lot less than that."

"Don't make me get the crew."

"Yar, argh! There, happy?"

Ordered to move:

"Aye aye!"

"I got it."

"They won't see me."

"Don't need to tell me twice."

"I think I've been here before."

Ordered to attack:

"Won't know what hit him."

"One shot, one kill."

"Go, go, move it!"

"Covering fire!"


"You wanna know how I got these... Bionics?"

Stands up straighter. "Don't pick on someone bigger than you."


Tayissa slings her rifle over her shoulder.

Tayissa sighs, disgruntled voice. "Fine, what did the pirate pay for her ship?..."

Disgruntled voice. "... And arrrrrrrm and a pegleg."

"Have you ever heard of the huntmaster?"

"It's not piracy... It's privateering."


Tayissa falls on her stomach, then tries to push herself up with her rifle, falling down again for good.

"Death to the king..."


"I must've blacked out there."

"We've come this far, can't give up now."

"Can't keep me down."

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((OOOOOOH I want to try!

Cobrak Deadeye

-Round Start-

*Gun cocking* "Hunt's startin'."

-Unit Selection-


"Wut we waitin' round fer?"


"Locked, cocked, an' ready ta rock."

-Excessive Clicking-

"Knock it tha 'ell off!"

"I ain't a fuckin' toy, so lay off!"

"One more poke, I'm skinnin' ya an' makin' a throw rug."

"GYAH!...'ANDS. OUT. O' THAR." *growls*

-Ordered to move-

"Le's go!"

"C'mon, Kain!"

*whistles sharply, like calling an animal* "Le's move!"

"On tha prowl."

-Ordered to attack-

"Sic'em Kain!"

"Gonna mountcha 'ead on me wall!"

"Right tween tha eyes!"

"Take'em down!"

"Har-har! Hunt's on!"


*taps his rifle on his shoulder, as he puffs his pipe*

"Heh, fought murlocs tougher than ya shits."

"Easiest money I'm makin'..."

"Guess tha buzzards gonna eat up good..."


"Why'd tha hume cross tha road?...'E didnae, cuz I shot 'im."

"Ya wanna joke? Pyth's cookin'."

"Whass black an' blue an' red all o'er? Yer face iffin ya click me one more time."


Cobrak falls to a knee, panting as he coughs blood. He clutches his chest, eye rolling in the back of his head as he collapses on his back. "...Gonna....gut ya..."


"I'm back. I'm pissed. Le's kill sumthin'."

*cocks his rifle* "Whar's tha shit'ead who did that..."

"Sumone's gonna 'ave a bad day..."

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Julilee Liene


Juli unsheathes her sword and shield.

"For justice."



(different tone) "Yes."

(different tone) "Yes."


Excessive click:



"Can I help you?"

"You have a strange sense of humor."


(Utter silence, then a sigh)

Ordered to move:

"On my way."

"No time to waste."

"Time to move."

Ordered to attack:


"For the Horde!"

"For justice!"



Juli shakes her head and folds her arms.

"I have better things to do."

"Your attacks are meaningless."

"You don't want to do this."

Joke (stolen shamelessly from bad jokes websites, except the last one):

Juli speaks neutrally. At the end, she quirks an eyebrow.

"How do you make holy water? You boil the fel out of it."

"Change is hard. Have you ever tried to bend a copper?"

"Still not a paladin."


Juli falls to her knees, struggles to raise her shield, and collapses.


"From the ashes..."

"Justice will always rise again."

"I'm just getting started."

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"There better be some booze."


(Gruff) "Yeah."

(Agitated) "Yeah, you ready?"

(Angry) "Let's GO!"

Excessive click:

(Cold, but furious) "Try it one more time."

(Gruff) "Did you want your fingers broken?"

(Shouted) "Enough!"

Ordered to move:

(Impatient) "Alright, already!"

(Questioning) "Over here? Any beer?"

(Reluctant) "I'm goin', I'm goin'"

(Pumped up) "Okay! Let's go!"

Ordered to attack:

(Shouted) "The Light comes, you bastards!"

(Calmly spoken) "Peace through Annihilation!"

(Hissed angrily) "Braaaaiiiinnnsss...."


"That was my last BEER!!"

"C'mon, I'll burn the skin off your bones."

"Can't catch a dead guy?"


"What do Night elves and Worgen have in common? Graves!"

"What do you call a pack of Dwarves? Dead!"


Staff in hand, he falls to his knees for a moment, before collapsing face first.


"By the Light...."

"Not my first time being dead."

"The Mandate is stronger than you, stronger than me..."

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*Tips cowl and flicks tarot card* "Varm pleasure smiles."



"Care for a reading, comrade?"

"Piiick a card."

"Eh? Vhat is it?"


Excessive Click:


"Ze Fel? Stop zhat!"

*Hearty Draenic chuckle* "Zhat tiiickles, comrade!"

"Ve're comrades, so it's alvight."

Ordered to move:

"Let us go."

"Back on ze trail."

"Tread carefully, comrade"

*Cranky sigh* "Bah, so much exercise..."

Ordered to Attack:

*fast talk* "Details, details ~ Ve strike now!"

"Arcana grant me strength!"

"For ze Redblades! For ze Caravaaan!"

"Power of ze Magician. Visdom of ze Empress. Strength of ze Chariot. I summon zhee!"


*Hearty Draenic chuckle* "Hah! My cat fights better zhan you."

"Do you realize zhat you are losin' to Draenei who 'as NO IDEA vhat's going on?"

*Yawn* "I tiiink I'll go to ze hot springs after zhis. Or maybe have a Gilnean sveetroll?"


*Serious tone* "I am not naked. Stop it."

*Bursting out into song* "Just a Stormvind giiirl, livin' in a lonely vorld! She took ze Deeprun Tram goin' AN-NY-VHERRRE!"

*Enthusiastic tone* "Ze cards have spoken! I zee Quel'dorei maiden vearing skiiimpy yellow dress and making kissy-faces with kobold riding on top of another kobold in ze middle of Tanaris during a vinter blizzard..." *Suddenly quick, business-like tone* "Zhat'll be three-thousand gold."


*Tuuroto passes out, and tarot cards explode into a flurry on top of his corpse* "Zhis... vas not in ze cards."


"Much taaanks, comrade."

"I thought ze Death vas natural? But I digress."

"Time to reshuffle ze deck."

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Selection: *Spins staff and raises bow* By arrow and magic shall I serve Elune.

Click: Have you a target?

I serve peace and Elune.

Our work is unending.

My experience is yours.

My bow and staff are ready.

Excessive clicking (Increasingly annoyed tone of voice): Are you... waiting for something?

No, I am not going to do this. Don't even think about it.

I don't care how many times you ask, no, I won't!

Oh, for the love of- THERE ARE NO MAILBOXES HERE! (I hope people get that.)

Ordered to move: I see the way.

The path is clear.

I shall not delay.

I hear you.

Ordered to attack: With spell and arrow shall they fall!

Elune, guide my arrows!

Elune, strengthen my spells!

For the Empire!

Taunt: I have ten thousand years of experience over you.

Elune stands beside me. Can you say the same?

I have fought in more wars than there are in the history of your people.

Joke: Yes, this is actually Anathema. No, I am not going to get rid of it.

I wonder if I can shoot this staff like an arrow...

I tried using a gun once. But I just can't understand where the arrows fit inside of it.

Death: *Clutching her staff for a moment before collapsing* I was always ready to die... For my cause...

Rebirth: I have been blessed by our Goddess once more.

Ten thousand years is still too short...

Huh? I thought resurrection was non-canonical...

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Justine Carpenter

Upon selection:

*salutes* At your command.



Yes, sir.

Ready to fight.

My blade is yours.

What can I do for you?

Excessive clicking:

Knock it off.

No, thank you.

Is that necessary?

*irritated sigh*

*growling* You make me wish I were back in Northrend.

Ordered to move:

Move out!

Let's go!

Fall in!

Let's get moving.

Ordered to attack:

*battle yell*


Come on, boys!


She unsheathes her broadsword and stands ready to fight:

"I've survived worse than you."

"You should have reconsidered."

"I'll make your death quick!"


"You'd best not ask me about my carpet and drapes."

"...and then SHE says, 'That's not a felhound, and my name's not Nancy!' *forced laughter* ...never mind, you had to be there."

"Yes, it is a large weapon. Yes, I know how to handle it. No, you wouldn't like a demonstration. Trust me."


*gasping* Burn...my body.


"I...shouldn’t be here."

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Round start:

*a slight bow as he draws his bow* “I am a wanderer, nothing more...nothing less…”



Of course…


Excessive clicking:

Be serious...

Tread carefully...friend...

Else you find yourself in that fey, dark weald that ends life’s journey.


Ordered to move:


The Flock takes motion.

Our Order is swift.

Through the shadows, I move…

At your command…

Ordered to attack:

In formation!* Most likely his Ulti. Flock of Ravens comes out*

Targeted and firing…

The shadows guide my arrow.

Arrowsong’s ballad beckons blood.


Your path has ended...mine continues...

Our business has concluded...your debt has been paid...

I would suggest you watch your back...but then you would leave yourself completely exposed.


Flock of Ravens…not flock of seagulls…get it right!

Order of Eversong...we defend so that you can cyber... (To much? Nah....)

Great thing about the shadows...no one sees you trip and fall!


Collapsing to the ground he reaches out. “My journey...ends here…Another will take...my place.”


Like the two headed phoenix of the Order...I rise!

Our business isn’t over yet…

Im glad I married a priestess!

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*selection* Logre'gard no kal goat fucker.



Yeah yeah.

Zug zug.


What is it?


Excessive Clicking:




At least buy me a drink first... or ten.




I'm fuckin going.


Moving out.

Got it.








You look as shit as a Deadshot.

Your mom make that armour?

Zanbaur nar thos coward.

C'mere, I wanna see how I look in a pool of your blood.


I used to be an adventurer like you, then I fucked your mother.

What's the difference between Borrowed Time and a dragon's harem? Nothing.

*in decent Tom Hardy impression* HOI FRIENDS!


*falls to her knees holding herself up by her axe* I... failed you... Warchief. *final gasp then falls onto side*





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Kerala Windchaser

Upon being chosen:

"Natural selection."



"I'm here."


Excessive Clicking:

"You talk too much."

"Go away."

"That's not funny."

"Don't touch me!"

"Touch me again, you won't have hands."

*Growl* Entering Combat ((Which probably isn't allowed :P))

Ordered to move:

"Keep the high ground. People rarely look up."

"A successful predator knows to stalk downwind."

"I follow my nose."

"I like that place better." / "I don't like it here."

Ordered to attack:


"I will laugh as I kill you."

"I will taste your fear!"

"Let me show you how I earned these stripes."

"Bones will break."

"I will feed you to the flies."

((Some of those would happen in Magramese Low Common as often as Orcish))


"Bite me."

"You are weak!" / "You are stupid."

[Magramese Low Common] "You proof shit grow legs and walk." / "You thick as shit, not as useful."

[Magramese Low Common] "Your mother was hyena and your father smells of rot."

[Magramese Low Common] "You dry of blood?" ((afraid))


"I'm hungry."

"I don't eat meat, so no, I would NOT like a bone. Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"I don't bite.... ...No actually I do, and really hard, so back up off me."


Kerala tries one last attack in order to take the enemy with her.

Alternate death:

Confused, Kerala buckles to a splay-ankled seated position before a tauren opponent. She looks up, sensing the end, and whispers "I forgive you" to release them from any Blood Debt. She sighs, falling back, and doesn't open her eyes again.



"Is this real?"

"I can't go yet. I made a promise to someone, and I never lie."

[Magramese Low Common] "Strength is life."

"I'm stronger now."

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Upon being chosen:

"Hoi, friend."



"I am ready to strike."

"Careful, my balance is delicate."

"I wonder what I shall cook with dinner...?"

*Cough, sip*

"Red Crane guide you."

Excessive Clicking:

"Please, just because I am a healer does not mean I am immune to provocation."

"Do not make me show you my meaning of mercy."

"I am certain that the stablery would not mind long pig."

"Despite my size, it is muscle and I am not jolly."

Ordered to move:

"*Scoffs* Let us test their valor."

"I am moving as quickly as I can."

"There are no ledges, yes?"

"With all haste."


"I will not yield."

"Bend, or break!"

"You face the sword of Sanctuary."

"*Scoff* I will make this quick."

"A necessary strike."

"Break, and fall."

"From ashes!"


"Empty threats from an empty soul."

*Taunting chuckle.* "That's it?"

"Yield and save yourself the humiliation."

"How embarrassing, defeated by a cripple."

"Alas, I cannot heal your wounded pride."


"What does a monk place upon his pizza? Three chis."

"I have prepared a Pandaren delicacy. It is called 'the monk roll.' *rolls away*"

"One does not spend time among the pandaren and not learn to cook. One also acquires a useful skill called alcoholism."


Kex'ti collapses to a knee, and then falls over. He speaks between hacking coughs. "No...not yet. I said I would not..."


"From ashes we rise."

"I will never break."

"I will avenge that sleight."

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Fhenrir Phoenix

Upon selection:

"Lieutenant General Fhenrir Phoenix, at your service."




"Ready for orders."

"Say the word."

"Where am I needed?"

Excessive clicking:

"Uh, Lok'tar?"

"We need to move."

"You're wasting time."

"You're not Xara, back off."

"I need more rage!"

"Not enough rage!"

*sigh* "Moo. Are you happy now?"

Ordered to move:

"Got it."


"Let's move."

"On my way."

"For the Horde."

Ordered to attack:


"For the Horde!"

"For the Horde."

"Out of my way!"

"For Kalimdor!"


Fhenrir plants his sword in the dirt, speaks, then draws it once more.

"Surrender. We've seen who the greater warrior is."

"The might of the Horde is unstoppable."

"Our time is now. Press the advantage."


Fhenrir crosses his arms over his chest, then covers his face with one palm. He speaks behind his hand.

"No, I'm not protection, and I won't carry the flag. Stop asking."

"This was a lot easier with a healer glued to my backside."

"How does the rotation go again? Mortal strike, whirlwind... rend? Or overpower?"

(resigned) "Let's get... mooooooving." *sigh*


Fhenrir takes one last swing with his weapon, then collapses to the ground face first.


"Not my time yet."

"There's too much riding on this one."

"I need to be here; for my family. And for the Horde."

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Baalthemar Dawnsorrow

Upon selection:

"What do you need commander?"





"Just ask."

Excessive clicking:

"Yes, I can hear you."

"Please stop"

"Incoherent rage scream"

"You messed up my hair!"

Ordered to move:

"On it."


"Yeah yeah."

Ordered to attack:

"This one is mine."(Cocky)

"They won't see me coming"

"Uh.. Okay, sure."

"Peace through Annihilation."(spoken softly)



"The pointy end goes in the other guys face, Ah... you'll get it next time"


*does back flip* "Damn I'm good" *knives fall off his belt* "Uh... Nothing to see here"


"I'm sorry Elora, please don't be afraid of me"

"Lets see if it works..."

"That didn't go as planned..."


"Heh. guess it worked"

*sigh* "Here we go again"

"Eh, just another scar."

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"Oh? Need something done right, huh?"


"Hey there."

"Ready for... whatever, I guess."

"Got something interesting for me? It better be interesting."

"Oh hey. I was getting bored anyway."

"Need that... special touch? From the Light, of course..."

"Oh, heeey there..."

Excessive Clicking

"I don't let everyone touch me that much... hey stop laughing!"

"I'll burn your fucking face off."

"Go bother someone else!"

"Cut it out!"

"You're not that fuckin cute, quit it."

Ordered to Move

"On my way."

"There? Um... you sure?"


"Yeah yeah..."

"Uuuuh huuuuuuh..."

"Someone better be fucking dying or something."


Ordered to Attack

"Take that, asshole!"

"Even shadows can't hide from the Light."

When healing ally- "Hands off! That's my minion!" More quietly, "What? You're a good minion!"

"See? Like it never even happened, jerk!"

"You hit them, and it just bounces off. Are you even trying?"


Aaren looks bored and takes a drink from her flask.

"Better than you have tried and fallen on their ugly faces."

"Oh... oh no! Big scary bad guy gonna get me!"

"I'll make it look like I'm reeeeaally trying if you want me to."

"You're shit, and you should feel really bad for that."

"I'd have brought some tea for my rum if this is what we were up against."

"If you're going to try me, you need to be... much better than you look."


"Sometimes they're all like, 'waaaaah it hurts, why does healing buuuuurrn.' To which I say 'GROW A PAIR AND DEAL WITH IT.'"

"I'd throw my booze on you and set you aflame, but... that would be cruel, wouldn't it?" She nuzzles her flask and whispers "I'd never hurt you."


Drops her staff, stumbling a few steps before flopping over.

"Fi... finally...?"

"Not... done yet!"


"Uuuuugh... again? I'm tired of this..."

"Obviously didn't kill me hard enough. Fuckin losers."

"Time for payback."

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"Our principles be eternal."


"Out wit' it."

"What do you want?"

"Always here to serve."

Excessive Clicking:

"Alright, alright. Ah hear you."

"Death be preferable to dis."

"Curses be upon you."

"Soon, you shall know peace."

Ordered to move:

"Keep dem off o' me."

"Get me back into de fight."

Ordered to attack:

"Dey be dead already."

"Rot dem bones."

"No more sittin' 'round."

"Peace through annihilation!"


"Alliance sucks."

"Like swatting flies."

"Peace through annihilation!"


"Heh, de good die young."


"My lifeblood... returns. It shall hold you accountable."

"Dey've conquered fear."


"Rise up!"

"Never give up. Never forget. Never die."

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Selash takes a few cocky steps forward while drawing his rifle, ejecting an empty round with a slow pump to its forearm.

"Time to get paid."



"You want something?"

"You got a job for me?"

"Got a target?"

Excessive Clicking:

(Annoyed) "Yeah, yeah."

(Annoyed) "You got something productive for me, jackass?"

(Annoyed) "You must love wasting money."

(Annoyed) "You want me to charge you double?"

"You know, cutting off fingers is excellent payback."

(The sounds of a knife being sharpened against a stone to carefree whistling)

Ordered to Move:

"Your call."

"If that's what you want."

"So be it."

Ordered to Attack:

"I'll drop 'em in one shot."

"They won't know what hit 'em."

"Look for the boom."


Selash lowers his rifle to reach for the cigarette between his lips, taking a drag from it with a shark-like grin before speaking, then returning the cigarette to his mouth and rifle to his hands.

"There's no shame in losing to a superior opponent."

"You could've just surrendered. Would've made both our jobs that much easier."

"It's a shame you weren't more of a challenge for the price they put on you."


Selash plants his rifle by its blade, leaning on it with one arm like a post, planting his other hand onto his hip to speak before pulling it from the ground and returning it to his hands.

"I've taken multiple arrows to the knee. What's your excuse?"

"Nobody ever chooses the easy way. If they did, I'd be out of work in a heartbeat."

"There's nothing cheap in what I do, machines cost money to make, after all."

"You're mad because you're bad, and you should feel bad."


Selash staggers a step back before falling to a knee, trying to hold himself up with his rifle before finally collapsing forward in a heap.

"Kahlan....Forgive me..."


"I ain't done with you yet!"

"I can't give up...For her sake."

"Well, this is convenient."

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-Round Start-

*A small volcanic eruption stirs as Nero walks out, swinging his axe one-handed* "Who's gonna be the first to burn?"

-Unit Selection-

"What's up?"

"Gotta problem?"

"What are you lookin' at?"

"Heh heh."

"Ya gotta Blackwing on yer side, nothin' can go wrong."

-Excessive Clicking-

"Hey, touchin' ain't free."

"I know I'm handsome, but shit, lay off!"


"Ever hear the expression, 'Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for ya are crunchy an' taste good with ketchup?'"

-Ordered to Move-

"I was goin' there anyway..."

"Shaddup, I'm goin'!"

"Better be a fight there..."

"Should've just used my wings..."

-Ordered to Attack-

"Here it comes, fucknuts!"

*Kalimag* "Reth reth reth!" (Burn burn burn)

"Get ready to burn, douchebags!"

"Ever had a lava bolt up yer ass?"

"Feel the Fury of the Earth!"


*Nero slams a boot into the earth, summoning a volcanic ring around him, lava bubbles and churns as he raises his hands. It all anuffs out and returns to normal as he clenches his fist and picks up his axe.*

"I don't care whatcha are, all of ya turn to ash the same."

"Normally I'd feed the whelps what I hunt, but I don't think they have a taste for shit."

"Good practice for whenever Wrathion shows up...."

"Feelin' the burn yet?"


"How many kobolds does it take to screw i a lightbulb? Zero, they use candles, dumbass!"

"Didja hear about the tauren and gnome who escaped prison? Guards are looking high and low for 'em."

*takes a deep breath...and releases* "Hey....why is everyone runnin'?"

"I swear to Khaz...if I take the kids out for a walk and someone yells 'Many whelps, handle it!', I'm gonna shiv somebody."


*Nero groans as he unleashes a desperate draconic roar, before collapsing onto his back. The rocks about him heating from the contact with smokes rising.* "...Was....a...matter....of time..."


"Alright. Ow."

"Can't keep a blackwing down..."

"Good thing Fireball didn't see that one..." *If Aaren is present on the battlefield, her voice plays 'So did!'*

"One extra crispy asshat, comin' up...."



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Filora Livlet


Filora shrugs and reluctantly takes out her mace.

"I guess someone has to get it done."



"Who, me?"

"Kinda busy."

"Ugh, what."

"Do I have to?"

Excessive click:

"Ugh, leave me alone!"

"I'm not cut out for this."

"This is way too much work."

"Wouldn't someone else be better? Like, anyone?"

"Fine, if you shut up!"

Ordered to move:

"Ugh, fine."


"If you insist."

"Let's get this over with."

Ordered to attack:

(bored) "Peace through annihilation and all that."

"Get out of my way!"

Ordered to heal:

"You owe me for this."

"I'm doing you a favor."

"Try not to suck so much. It's annoying for me."


Filora puts her hands on her hips and laughs, then flips back her hair.

"I never lose."

"You should learn when to cut your losses."

"Watching you cry will be amusing."


Filora crosses her arms and smirks.

"If I hear one more blonde, fat, or elf joke, I'm going to drown a puppy."

"What do you call a dead rogue with half a brain? Former High inquisitor."

"How do you get rid of a dumb dead girl who screws whores? Well, don't send the former High Inquisitor."

"Hey, I didn't come up with calling him the Cowmander. Though I wish I had."


Filora tries to run away and is struck down from behind.


(whine) "Owwwwww..."

"I'm not doing that again."

"I didn't sign up for this."

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Siané Dawnlight


Siané steps forward and clasps her hands. An aura of Light and Nature magic surrounds her.

"Anything I can do to help."



"How can I help?"

"What can I do?"

"Anything you need."

Excessive click:



"Ah.. err...."

"I'm confused."

(embarrassed) "Please don't..."

Ordered to move.:


"Will do."

"Right away."

"Of course."

Ordered to attack:

"Please stop!"

"It doesn't have to be like this!"

"Leave us alone!"

Ordered to heal:

"Oh, be careful!"

"Is that better?"

"Please be safe."


Siané fingers a strand of her hair nervously.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea..."

"Is this really what you want to do? Deep down, inside?"

"Can't we all just get along?"


Siané speaks, then covers her mouth in chagrin.

"Damnit! -- Oh, I try not to curse."

"Yes, I've hurt others, but I was a different person then. Why are people still so mad?"

"No, Naheal still has me beat..."


Siané closes her eyes and, without resisting, slumps to the ground.


"It never ends, does it..."

"I'm grateful for another chance."

"It's okay. I've been through worse."

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Khorvis Bloodstar

Upon selection:

Blood for the Mandate!


Orders, Warchief?

Where do you command my blade?

The axe do be willing, the spirit ready!

An idle warrior grows sour roots.

Excessive clicking:

Bloody fel, we must ride!

Do you wag that tongue, or does it wag you?

I do grow tired of these finger wiggling games!

Do you tempt the Lash, whelp?

Your hide will paper the Grim Walls! *sound of the Lash*

Ordered to move:


A bold move!

Boots on the ground, blade in the fist!

*grunt* Keep your eye on the map.

The Inquisition rides!

Ordered to attack:

Peace through annihilation!

Let us hear this pinkskin squeal!

Flank them! Hound their weak!

Lok'tar ogar!

I will dine on their flesh!

*unintelligible warcry*


The chains of the Lash whip 'round Khorvis's head as his blade drags on the earth.

“ You truly did not expect the might of the Grim Inquisition!”

“ This do be a Scalp Hunt of ease.”

“ The Mandate has no use for the weak or infirm."


Khorvis dumps a flask of Sulfuron Slammer into his feedbag.

“ There do be two lands - those the Horde do own, and those we one day will."

“ I would rather spend a moon spitshining Nefarian's speckled taint than suck the goat of a bloody dwarf!"

“ Peace? That do be an Elder's pipedream. Annihilation? That comes at sunrise."


Khorvis clutches his chest and reaches for the sky while sinking to his knees. He falls face-first into the ground but not before emitting an overly dramatic guttural howl of anguish.


Honor to the ancestors, I do return.

A battle lost, but the war still does rage!


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