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Nanori

An Attempt to Figure Myself Out

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Dear Journal, 5/2

Kailei suggested that I write in one of these things. I keep having horrible dreams....mostly flashbacks you could call them. I refused to go see a priest...Kailei keeps trying to make me go...but I do not need some drivel about faith and good behavior to clear my thoughts.

So instead for now I will write down my dreams, so I can maybe help to expel them from my head.

Last night I dreamt of my original confrontation with Orest. There were vivid flashes of blood, mine as it clouded my vision...his face, the sadistic grin as the flash of his dagger was all I was able to see...

Then the dream changed. I saw bodies...the bodies of my victims from the past, piled at my feet, as blood ran down my cheek from the eye socket that had healed months ago. And I saw my sister, laying on the ground, I felt my dream self run to her, and she was dead...both her eyes were cut from her face, I woke up SCREAMING journal...I screamed and I screamed at the top of my lugs. The innkeeper in Dalaran didn't like that much...so here I am...with my breakfast of fruit and water...trying to put some sort of explanation to all of it. I know, that Orest will try and hurt me in any way that he possibly can...that's why the fake necklaces...and now I am dreaming of Kailei's death. I will not let him harm the only family I have left in the world.

I know that Kailei can protect herself, she is a skilled mender, and although rusty with actual combat, she can hold her own. But I may just have to watch her a bit more closely in the coming weeks.

Nanori

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Dear Journal 7/24

I honestly thought, I was going to go away again.

I changed my mind. Kailei still needs me, if not with her in battle, she needs the magic I twist onto her weapons and armor and the gems and jewels I cut.

I cannot abandon her or the Grim at this time. As other soldiers grow tired and weary, I find I feel the same...but I must go on in this fight.

Speaking of this fight, some Kaldorei hunter had the AUDACITY to attack me in Orgrimmar a few nights ago. I am going to make that hunter, regret it's existance. Kumo bit it at least once, so I am going to see if the spider cannot hunt the Kaldorei scum down.

I must be sure to thank Ishonokos, I got complacent, and the Kaldorei would've had me defeated if not for Ish. He is a good friend to Kailei, and proved his worth as a bodyguard to me.

Now on with the hunt...I have to have some payback for the wounds I sustained...even if they were insignificant.

Nanori.

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nanof.jpg

A shiny new leather journal, yellow in color, is tucked safely away in the hunter's bag. There is a very outdoorsy feel to the cover of Nanori's journal with trees and leaves etched into the leather.

First Entry 9/28

Well Kailei again is foisting one of these blasted journals on me, and so here I am taking a break and writing in it. Kailei has been traipsing all over this new land of Pandaria, and since she no longer has a bodyguard, I have taken it upon myself to watch out for my little sister.

She doesn't know that I track her, but I keep myself hidden in the shadows and just make sure that no stinking Alliance sneak up behind her. The spirit beasts are better at following her than I am, and I trust them to let me know of any trouble immediately...so I have let them take over the job...me however, I must explore this land for myself. If I am going to hunt down Alliance out here and end their miserable lives I must know the land to use it to my advantage.

I will write more as my adventures take me interesting places.

Ranger Nanori Windstalker

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Second Entry 11/2

Kailei said I was becoming "disconnected" or whatever that means. Basically she said I have grown apart from our people...or something. But to appease her, I returned home to Silvermoon yesterday.

Needless to say, my little sister was right. She normally is...I admit one of my greatest flaws is how stubborn I am. I missed home so much...the sunshine, the pristine buildings and the bright red and gold color. It brought tears to my eye.

Anyways, while there I roamed the land for a bit, and I even had an armor set crafted one that matches our fathers bow a bit better. I carry it again...I hung up the one made of Alliance bones...for now.

Ranger Nanori Windstalker

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Third Entry 11/9

It is amazing what one small trip to home has done for my spirits journal...I feel almost like a new person. One could even say that I am seeing this world in a new light. The fight for my people has been seemingly renewed in me, I still fight for the Grim, and for the Horde of course but at the same time...the Sin'dorei people come first.

And that love of my people starts with my family, Kailei may be the only one left, but I find I now fight for her to give her that peaceful world that she's wanted since she was a child.

The Alliance and Horde...the fight drones on as old as time itself it seems, but to what end? We've even disrupted the Pandaren people!! A people that have lived in peace for years on end, are now split right down the middle and are picking SIDES. Our factions have different views and beliefs...but can't we...I don't know anymore, but splitting the land fairly and retiring the war sounds like a good idea to me...but other people are too damn stubborn to give up the fight...and until they do, I have to fight to protect what is mine.

I have never been so damned conflicted since losing my parents years ago journal...I grow tired of the senseless killing...and coming from me...knowing how I was months ago, that is a huge step forward one could say.

Ranger Nanori Windstalker

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Fourth Entry 11/11

Well, I have left civilization behind for a bit. I need to get my head clear, and come to terms with what I have done in the past. My emotions were a wreck...and with the new land of Pandaria, and the creatures called the Sha, I can't be an emotional wreck, it would be like taking candy from a babe for those damn Sha.

It's nice out here by the shore. Everything is quiet, and I even sent Fenrir and the other beasties away to hunt...total solitude.

I guess you could say...

((At the end of this page it looks like she stopped writing abruptly))

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Fifth Entry 11/16

The ink upon this page is enchanted with the skill of a highly skilled enchanter. The words themselves will only appear if a specific tool is used. The page itself is also tear stained as if the writer was crying.

Only five days, it feels like an enternity since I was free. I still cannot believe I live, I truly thought this encounter with the Alliance was going to be the death of me.

Only truly skilled enchanters will be able to read this page, and if I do not get these words out of me somewhere, I will truly get driven insane by my nightmares.

I was enjoying my excursion in Eversong, I was getting back to myself...and coming to terms with the horrible things that I have done...to others, yes...others of the Alliance. The acts I committed were crimes, and I see that now, but still those past errors put me in the hands of the Dusk Watch. I was able to recognize the tabards before I was knocked out, and restrained.

When I awoke...I was in a cave...which I was to later learn was under Netherguarde keep. I was the victim of a cruel form of research...one kind of research not even I would practice on an enemy. A warlock...of who's name I did not get...tortured me with various Sha energies. The emotions were a blur, I am still shaking even as I write these words. I was confronted with my worst fear, doubt I was not aware I had, despair so great...I think I even went into shock...Anger, rage and violence...those were nothing new...although greatly intensified.

I am sobbing even now as I write this...but I was released...after everything they made me endure, I was freed. But I must take Kailei...and we will run. She will NOT face what I did...I will die first. So these words will be taken to my grave. I will let her know I was tortured...but not by whom, or by what...she doesn't need to know particulars. Just that the Windstalkers are DONE and I MEAN DONE! ((the words almost leap off the page)) With this war. The Horde and the Alliance can go to fel. We are the last of the Windstalkers...and our blood will no longer be spilt in this war...nor will we lose one another unless by natural causes. As leader of this family...Kailei will follow my lead...as much as it may pain her to leave the Grim and those she finds to be her "friends", but the Mandate will only protect us when it serves the Mandate...apparently one "minion" as they called me, wasn't worth their attention.

I will not risk my life any longer. We are retiring.

Kailei will not like my decision, but she has no choice in the matter.

Ranger Nanori Windstalker

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Sixth Entry 12/20

So much for retiring.

Here I thought we were good and done. I had gotten both myself and Kailei to safety...she adjusted to the new life with ease...me, it was a little more difficult...but I was trying. Then what happens? Urivial has us tracked down. Meets with my sister...and she gets angry. More angry than I have EVER seen Kailei.

Urivial goes on his way...I get the feeling Kailei didn't fully translate their little conversation to me...but that can't be known right now...Why? Because...Urivial Beckett killed my sister.

Yes. Some of the blame falls on my stubborn headed sister...she DID challenge him to a duel. Urivial however, knew she was a mender...and he didn't let it slide, instead he fought her, and killed her.

I have prepared her funeral services. Even though her body is NOT going into the ground, but whatever friends wish to come to her funeral are welcome to...maybe it'll finally give my sister some peace when I find a way to bring her back.

Anyways, I suppose I should go and find a dress...

Nanori Windstalker

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Seventh Entry 12/22

I do not know how long I can maintain the enchantment.

I was never very skilled at magic...this is why I am good with blades and bows. It is physically draining to keep up this enchantment...but that could be due to the nature of the magic. I am tampering with the natural cycle of life, and it feels awkward and WRONG.

My sister will walk the ground again...she will have a chance at either peace or even revenge if she wants it...I just hope she will not hate me for my actions when I bring her back to this world.

She was so pure while she lived, she is going to be far from that when I bring her back...she might even consider herself and abomination...I just hope not...I hope that I can convince her to stay with me. I am not ready to lose my little sister...

Also, I have given up my bow, when I kill Urivial it will be up close and personal...just like how he ended the life of my sister...I will drive my blade through his heart...and then feed the still beating organ to Ookama...Ookami's puppy is a cutie...and growing nicely...the blood of an enemy will only help.

Nanori Windstalker

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Eighth Entry 1/21

I realize it has been awhile since I've written. I have managed to enchant two of the necklaces that I have made to help with the enchantment that I had made for Kailei.

It is not nearly as draining as the necklaces can store some energy, and it has made it so that I can actually travel while maintaining her form.

This should make it much easier to find the help that I need.

Nanori Windstalker

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Ninth Entry 1/22

Well Journal you will likely be surprised, but I have shared my little secret with Altherion and Reroma. Both looked at me like I was insane for what I am attempting to do.

Maybe they are right, maybe I am crazy. But she deserves a chance at some form of life, even the form that I am trying to find for her now. Altherion told me he would look around and see if he could find the person that I need to help, and I will not give up my searching either.

He also gave me a liquid that I could give her...so that I do not have to spend as much energy maintaining her...it seems to have helped a little bit so far...hopefully it will give me the energy I need to travel andfind someone who can help...

Nanori

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Tenth Entry 2/4

Dear Journal,

Well. I was visited by Shayleen...again. But some good may come of it, because since creating these damned necklaces I have not been able to enchant a single thing. So her skills may be useful in the long run...because I will need to enchant my items somehow...

Speaking of the necklaces, they are still draining...but not nearly as much since Altherion gave me the potion to give to my dear sister. If I am ever to start my quest for vengeance however, I will need a solution to Kailei's...problem.

I also need to find myself an alchemist...for several reasons. I will need to have the potion that Altherion supplied duplicated, and...well...what good is a dagger without poison?

I will write more later.

-Nanori Windstalker

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Eleventh Entry 2/18

Dear Journal,

I do not know what I was thinking.

I went to a party in Silvermoon, while my sister is...well...you know. I feel extremely guilty for even slightly enjoying myself and letting myself relax. I STILL need to find someone that is capable of helping me. I cannot fail Kailei in this, a solution must be found.

However, during the event Silvermoon fell under attack...and I had to gather my equipment quickly...at least my frustrations at how things have progressed were taken out on enemy bodies.

-Nanori Windstalker

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Twelfth Entry 8/30

Well Journal,

It has been some time since I've written I realize this now, seeing as I just dug you out of one of my boxes in my lab. Good news is, I was able to bring Kailei back to some form of life. However, the consequences of my actions stare me in the face every time I see my beloved sister. The loss of her Light has damaged her personality terribly.

She's reckless, spiteful, hateful, and thirsty for the death of her enemies. Some days, she's the Kailei I remember, other days not so much and it's like she's an entirely different person. In a way I expected this, I knew bringing her back through unholy means would not leave her unchanged...and I am GLAD that she is back at all.

Both of us have rejoined the Grim, it seemed like a good idea at the time, however it is not helping to calm Kailei's violent urges in fact fighting with the Grim again has INCREASED her need to kill things, and I thought I was bad. I don't think the sword that I found for her is helping either...I am really screwing things up it seems. At least she is with me again, and maybe in time she will find some form of control over her urges to kill, maim and murder.

Either way, my sister was brought back to this plane, and I am glad for that...I would do anything for her as she is the last family I have left. Sure the other Grim members in their own way are my family too, but Kailei is and always will be my blood...I failed to protect her once, but never again.

I'll write more later, I have quite a bit to do yet.

-Nanori Windstalker

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Dear Journal

I always feel silly writing this to a book like it is some kind of letter. But, it’s just the way that it is done I guess. Anyways, so it’s been awhile and that is mainly because this volume has been left in my home in Eversong for the past few months. I have not been home much because I have been out on Draenor, fighting the Iron Horde. So strange being on the planet that the Draenei came from, they have such weird plants and wildlife out there. No wonder that race as a whole is so damn weird.

Either way, it’s been a long strange few months for me. Now… while I still venture out to Draenor, I also return home here to Eversong more often. That is mainly because I actually have a REASON to be home. Selash. He and I recently reconnected, and I found out that he was FINALLY available. I do not think I have ever written how I felt about him before so I am trying to fix that now.

Basically ever since I met Selash all those years ago now, we’ve always had a connection that I couldn’t really ignore. Back then though, he was unavailable, so I simply waited. Call me crazy for waiting, I do not care. He is the one man that I never had to justify my actions to. He always understood me. My hatred for the Alliance has made me do some dark and scary things, but he NEVER called me out on my actions. And even I back then, thought my actions weren’t the best. Although anything that happens with me and Urivial when and if I find that bastard…, I hope he doesn’t hate me for it.

We have reconnected as I said, but not just as friends. We are officially dating and are a couple! I have NEVER dated anyone. It is so weird, in a way, I waited solely for him. Which amazes him, but he also understands that I don’t see myself as someone who is significant other material. I’m covered in scars, missing my eye, and yet Selash looks at me… in such a way that makes me so happy. He sees me as beautiful and desirable… despite how horrendous I think I look.

And I got to meet his daughter, little Kahlan. She is so cute, and in a way she reminds me of Kailei when she was a child, just so full of life and joyful. When I see Selash and Kahlan together, and they share that time with me, my heart is just filled to bursting with how happy and whole it makes me feel. It maybe has made me realize that there is more to life than just… battle and blood and death.

Which unfortunately I have seen more than my fair share of, but so has Selash. So in a way we are beginning to heal those mental wounds within each other. It feels so amazing it is hard for me to describe. The only thing… that really makes me growly is he expects me to wear dresses and such to like the formal events that we’d be attending as a couple. But if it would make him happy, I would be at least willing to try. We will see how it goes.

-Nanori Windstalker

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Dear Journal,

Another day, another decision of mine made. I am picking up a bow again whenever it is necessary. I have taken my father’s bow out of storage and did the maintenance on it the other morning. So I will be training with it once again. Having the versatility of using daggers AND a bow will only benefit me in the long run.

Selash will be busy, I at first only requested of him to make me a set of leather to wear into battle, and now I will need something a little bit heavier if I am going to practicing long range combat as well. So I asked for him to design a second set of armor for me, one much like his own. Both will be tailored to my frame obviously, with all sorts of hidden little tricks and such. I am really excited for the change.

Then there is the gift that I have been working on for Kahlan, I really hope that she likes it. I am putting a lot of effort into it, and since she so enjoys being a little Lady and all, I think she will appreciate the gift for many years to come. We will see either way. I will write some more later, I need to sharpen my daggers and oil my bow.

-Ranger Nanori Windstalker

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Dear Journal,

So Kailei found out about me and Selash. Needless to say she was not happy that she didn’t find out from me. I just wasn’t ready to tell her because I didn’t want to hurt her by letting her know how happy I am when she is so obviously struggling. I wish there was a way… to make her understand that I am truly happy for one of the first times in my life since mother and father passed away.

Kailei just doesn’t get it. Maybe it is because of how she is, or that she has been betrayed and hurt by people she cared about in the past. I’m not sure. But she says that I should always be on my guard, and letting people in like I have with Selash is a risk to my very life. I told her of course I am being careful, and she just doesn’t think that is enough. And… she told me that Selash approached her about meeting Kahlan.

I was surprised that she agreed. Kailei is normally so busy that she barely sleeps. I don’t even know if her body actually requires sleep. But either way, she’s going to meet little Kahlan and I am truly worried. Kahlan thinks that Kailei is so strong, and all of that… Kailei can be cold-hearted and a bitch and I am worried that Kahlan is going to be disappointed. But again, we will have to wait and see which Kailei puts in an appearance.

Selash is also teaching me how to be a bounty hunter. It is so strange trying not to kill the person I am shooting at. And daggers? How do you threaten someone with a weapon if there is not a threat of death behind it? I mean sure we chased down another blood elf, and I don’t necessarily relish in the idea of killing one of my own people… but the man was shooting fireballs at our heads. That REALLY made me want to kill him. Anyways, I need to get some rest. I will write again soon.

-Ranger Nanori Windstalker

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Dear Journal,

So. Well Selash now knows you exist. He caught me writing in this book the other day. He seemed a little confused as to why I would bother writing in this thing. But in all seriousness, I explained to him that writing in this book has helped me to organize my thoughts… and help me see things more clearly.

Not everyone is going to understand why I wrote down some of the horrible things that have happened to me, but horrible things are not the only things that have occurred in my life. Especially not now that there is so much good going on.

Selash and I have been discussing our futures together. And to be honest, I am still the happiest I’ve ever been in my life. The fight against the Alliance rages on, but having a family to come home to at the end of the day makes it all worth it. Even Kailei and Darynthis have returned to the Manor, and surrounded both my family and Selash’s family have made me stronger than I have ever been. A reason to fight, makes everything so much easier to bear.

There has been a mess with fel infected individuals that have us all on high alert, but I feel bad for anyone that dares to come after me or my family. We’re more united than we have ever been, and that makes us stronger.

Talk of marriage, talk of children… am I really becoming the head of the Windstalker family? I still think I am likely the worst noblewoman ever, but all the support from Kailei and Darynthis, and Selash telling me not to worry what the other nobles think, makes me think I can actually do this. I can honor my mother and father’s line, and make a place for the Windstalkers in the world again. For so many years I ran from my responsibilities… but now? Now I’m thinking I can actually manage all of this. Maybe I have recovered, from the loss of my eye, and my torture at the hands of the Dusk Watch.

Am I whole again?

-Ranger Nanori Windstalker

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Dear Journal,

So much has happened, I don’t know where to begin. I suppose I should probably start with the fact that I am engaged! Selash proposed. Right on the balcony of his home. I could not believe it, I thought he wanted to wait longer… but now… now he wants to be married by the end of the month and I just cannot wait. The eternium band he gave me, is so beautiful. It shimmers in the faintest of light and I can’t believe I get to wear it from now until well… forever!

And Kahlan… that darling little girl. She wants me to be her mother. I am so glad that she is willing to accept me and wants me to be a part of her family. Look at me. I am a happy, lovesick, emotional wreck. Who would’ve thought… not me, not in a million years. But here I am. The happiest I’ve been in a very long time.

And lastly… I found a warlock willing to at least look into the mess that I made with Kailei. A warlock of the Grim, Ul’rezaj was very kind to at least see if there was anything that he could do. I really hope that the mess can be fixed… if Kailei could get her own soul back… I am not sure yet what it would mean for her, but I am sure it would be better than the state she is in currently.

Wedding planning, working the paperwork with the nobles of Silvermoon so that our families can be merged in the LEGAL manner when me and Selash marry. There is just so much to do… but I will do it all, and be extremely happy for it… I couldn’t ask for more than what I have right now.

-Ranger Nanori Windstalker

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Dear Journal,

I am no longer Nanori WINDSTALKER! I am now Nanori Gustblade. The wedding went off beautifully. We got married in a small building outside of Silvermoon, and then we had our reception in Eversong. It was all so beautiful. And oh yes! Kailei is alive again! Her soul has been restored... and she is actually HAPPY! I cannot believe all the good that has gone on in my life as of late. I am currently on my honeymoon in Pandaria, Selash rented us a small cabin, we're out on our own island for the entire week. It is so beautiful and quiet out here.

We have spent most of our days out on the beach in the sand, fishing or just being with one another, and as much as I love the time alone with him. I miss my daughter. Yes Kahlan will officially be my daughter upon our return to Eversong. I am officially adopting her. How weird is that. I... Nanori... have a daughter. Still seems odd to me, but I am happy with the decision and the accepting little girl who has welcomed me into her life.

And then there is the new organization that we have formed. Kailei, Darynthis, Selash and I have decided we need to focus on our family, and OUR people. So we started the Eversong Elite. In hopes that we will better be able to protect one another, and defend the glory of the Sin'dorei people. I must get back to my honeymoon now, I will write more upon our return.

-Ranger Nanori Wi- GUSTBLADE

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Dear Journal,

There is so much going on it’s harder and harder to find time to write at all. But since I am trying to recover some of my strength right now, writing is what I am going to do to clear my head. The Legion was not just some nonsense some odd cult was spewing. It is very real and quite terrifying, at least more so than the last time. I fear for my family and for all of Azeroth. The Horde headed to the Broken Shore to try and stop Gul’dan. The war chief died, Sylvanas is now in charge. So much so fast it is hard to just believe this isn’t some twisted nightmare.

Selash and I went together with others from Borrowed Time and Sanctuary to the Broken Shore. At least we went through that hell side by side. There was so much death, and the demons… the stink of them are still in my nostrils even now. The fight on the Shore went by like a blur, and my only take away from it was that as good as I am with a sword and dagger; they are NOT the best weapons to fight the demons with. At least not for me, I learned that lesson the hard way. My back is covered in fel fire burns. Thankfully there is no fel poisoning, because if it can take down someone as strong as Vol’jin it would’ve ended me for sure. I am extremely lucky. But the pain is brain addling, and without Darynthis I’m dealing with my body healing on its own, and I’m beginning to think I am idiotic for being so stubborn about only wanting my cousin to heal me. There will be some wicked scars and fire-side stories for down the road when all of this has passed. Light, I AM an idiot.

At least Selash and I, and Kahlan are all right so far. As is Kailei, thank the Light. But where IS Darynthis? I will have to find her. My guess is she is holed up somewhere healing and tending to the wounded that are no doubt piling up with all the demon invasions going on. At least that is my hope.

Oh and I have switched from father’s bow to a rifle. For the first time ever, I prefer bullets to arrows. They just penetrate the demon armor better, and I’ve switched to heavier sets of armor as well. Better to be safe than sorry, but right now I am safely home not wearing it to let my back heal. Maybe Kailei has enough of a grasp on the Light again. She might be able to help. I’ll have to ask her; anyways it is time to get some rest. Who’s to know when the next attack will rise?

-Nanori Gustblade

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