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Noir (Lao meets Danlilly & Clys)

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((Technically I do not have permission to use the likenesses, but I feel it is an accurate representation of what occurred from Lao’s point of view. I can delete this if the aforementioned parties would prefer. Actual excerpts from Sahib and Lao’s conversations are included.))

It was a clear day in the Hinterlands. My partner Sahib and I had just finished dispatching some Witherbark Trolls. It seemed that Hib had needed necklaces some of these savages carried as proof for a bounty he was intent on collecting. I was there for protection, to keep an eye on my partner’s back.

“Look Lao, two of those trolls are guarding a cage. Let’s take them out and make sure no one is being kept inside.”

“Right behind you Hibbie…Hey look Daisies!”

The battle was brief but intense, luckily we both came out alright. Hib was a bit worse for wear, as for me, not a scratch. That’s the way it goes when you’re considered one of the most dangerous gnomes alive though. They obviously knew me by reputation alone, because in spite of my best efforts, they made a bee line for my partner. No matter what I did, they stayed as far from me as possible.

“You trolls are ugly!’re ugly too!”

“You know, you could try casting spells at them!” dryly commented my beleaguered partner.

We had gotten what we came for; the cages were empty, lucky for those savages. Hib had his necklaces. Personally, I wasn’t much for mercenary work, then again, when you looked at all the blood on my hands, who was I to judge? We were just about to head out when I saw her. A troll, not one of the savages either, no, this was a filthy member of the Horde. I could have sworn I had seen drawings of her face somewhere. Danlilly. That was it, wanted by the Alliance. While I certainly wasn’t the most upstanding of gnomes, I wasn’t about to let this opportunity escape me. I made my move.

“Hi, Danlilly! HI! It’s me, Lao!”

“What the…? Why are you running right at her? Stop waving you idiot! Can’t you see she’s drawing back her bowstring?” came the exasperated calls of Sahib.

Her great cat ran me down as the first arrow struck my side. Undaunted, I froze her and her flea bitten mongrel in place. My partner vanished into shadows and was working his way to my aid. This bit of fluff had chosen the wrong duo to try and dump in the stew pot. She was already as good as dead, unfortunately for her, she didn’t even know it yet. I called upon my knowledge of the arcane and watched the look of horror in her eyes with grim satisfaction.

“Abra-Ka-Pocus! Hey look Hibbie, I made her hair turn blue! No wait, it was blue before that. Well, the spell must have done SOMETHING. Oh neat, I made bread! Hey if I cast one of my burny spells, we could all have toas…OUCHIE!”

I should have known better, someone with as much experience with the Alliance as this Danlilly would never have faced me alone. Stupid. I let my ego get in the way. Stabbed in the back, it sounds cliché, but it didn’t make the bleeding stop any quicker. A quick turn of my head revealed the assaulter. Clys. Different drawing, another black-hearted member of the Horde. It was often said that these two ran together. I should have seen it coming, but it was too late for recriminations as I was soon eating dirt. Things started going black, it looked like Thrall would be having a party in Orgrimmar tonight when he got the news.

“Warchief, it seems that two of our operatives may have dispatched the hated gnome mage Lao.”


Things shook down pretty quickly after that. Hib got a few shots in before the numbers went against him. It seemed Clys and Danlilly used some Horde-coward tricks to confuse my partner and soon he was in the same predicament as me. The two wretched beings moved in to deliver the coup-de-grace. It was all over. As they stood over us, a last desperate plan came into my head.

“PSST! Hibbie, I have a great idea. You know how when you are attacked by a bear you are supposed to feed it honey? No that won’t work, I’m allergic to bee stings. Oh wait; I have an even BETTER idea. If we can trick these two into running into a bee hive, we will have all the honey we want, plus they would have to go home to get their owies kissed.”

“I hope they kill me first,” was the only comment my partner made.

Unfortunately for Horde, Lady Luck hadn’t quite given up on me yet. A Dwarven patrol set those she-devils to their heels with a few bumps and bruises of their own. Rookie mistake by a couple of amateurs, they didn’t even belong on the same battlefield as me. When you are as important to the Alliance as I am, one missed check in means that the search parties are dispatched immediately.

“You two are lucky we just happened to be in the area and heard your pathetic screams for help.”

It looked like I was going to see the sunrise tomorrow after all. I would have to be more wary though, these two would certainly report back as to how I operated. The search parties, my partner, everything. It would make every step I took an even greater danger. That was fine with me though, it just made each breath I drew that more important. Danlilly and Clys, I’d remember them both and when I saw them next, all the demons from the Nine Hells wouldn’t stop me from doing what had I had intended all along.

“I hope next time I get to pet her big kitty-cat!”

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(( *snorts soda out her nose* Almost makes me wish Clys liked gnomes, other than for experimenting on, that is. Thanks for that, it was great! ))

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