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Rohan Orcslayer

Elfnapped!

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In a little cave, in a little mountian, in a little, frosty corner of Northrend there lived a dwarf in a little, blue riding hood.

His name was Melvin Blastbrew. And he had just kidnapped the daughter of a Death Knight and a renown killer.

Blastbrew whistled happily as he returned to his lair, a basket of food under his arm. The lair in question was a cozy, little place. A fireplace was contructed in the corner, various trophies lined the cavern walls, kegs of homebrewed beer were stacked high, a large, black, Polar Bear rested on the floor near the fireplace next to an equally black Northrend Worg wearing a glowing, blue, runic collar. A Duskwing Hawk was perched on a stand in the corner, head tucked under it's wing in slumber in the warm glow of the little grotto.

...Oh, and the kidnapped night elf chained to a chair in the center of the room.

Closing the round door on the howling arctic wind, the dwarf shook the snow from his cloak and placed his rifle and or axe and or walking stick on it's perch above the fireplace.

"Rioght! Seein' as how we be oot o' tranquilizin' darts, an' considerin' the wee elfy is likely to be rioght 'ungry when she be comin' to, I've gone oot an' bought some elfy food, oh aye!" the dwarf said as he picked one of the aforementioned darts out of the night elf's thigh.

The elf began to stir, and eventually, it woke up.

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The elf woke slowly, her eyes blinking open as she took in the room with a blurred vision. Where the hell was she? Her body felt heavy and sluggish as she tried to move, it was then that she noticed the chains. Her brow furrowed as she took this in, her mind still catching up. What had happened?

It was then that she remembered the dwarf, and the repeated tranquilizing darts that had been sunk into her skin. How long had she been out for? Her yellow eyes then caught sight of said Dwarf, and her face instantly sunk into a scowl. She didn't like him very much... not at all.

When she spoke her voice cracked. "Why the hell did you do this to me?" Though still woozy, she could make out something underneath the dwarf's arm. Her muscles tightened as much they could in her half-drugged state. Whatever was going on, she didn't like it.

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Blastbrew thought about this question for a moment. Why WAS he keeping this elf? There had to be individuals that would bring a higher ransom that this elf that he could kidnap, why didn't he kidnap them?

He then considered the morallity of kidnapping in the first place... It wasn't a very moral thing to do, infact, it was downright rude to kidnap someone, they have things to do for Uther's sake! Of course, in Kairiel's case, her things to do included killing people, something that was a lot ruder than simply kidnapping. Not only that, but the people in question she had planned to kill were associates of his employer. An employer that might just give him a nice little bonus for stopping this person from killing the aforementioned associates of said employer. A bonus, which, in addition to the ransom, would make a heafty payout when brought to fruition!

So, after going through all this date within his mind, the dwarf quite clearly stated:

"Er... Money!"

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The elf's eyes turned dangerous for a moment. "You're kidnapping me for money? And I thought my profession was low." She looked around the room, too angry to continue looking at the dwarf. It was a nice cave, small, but nice. Oh, who the hell cared how nice it was? She was chained to a chair in the middle of nowhere. And she was hungry.

She turned her face back to the dwarf. "You know, you're going to be in a lot of trouble when my Da finds out..." She smiled at the throught of her fathers hands around the dwarf's neck. "Who put you up to it, anyhow? I mean, not a lot of people know me, haven't wronged a lot of people..." Yet, she though to herself as she smiled at the dwarf.

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"I put meself up to it!" Blastbrew said, puffing out his chest in pride. "An' besides, considerin' all th' baddies yer daddy wrongs on a daily basis, who would suspect the stupid, old, perverted, crazy, drunken dwarf to be capable o' anythin' like this! Oh aye!"

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The elf watched the dwarf for a minute, her gaze dead and cold. "And with all the baddies he wrongs, and still survives, what makes you think he won't kill you on sight?" She smirked then, a very Illsade-esque moment. "And you're stupid. If you kidnapped me with no plan in mind, you really are just digging yourself a grave... one that I'll dance on when the day is through." Though she spoke with venom, the fact that she was chained to a chair made it hard for her to be that fierce.

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Blastbrew huffed at the little punk, any doubt in his mind about the morality of kidnapping this little she-wolf was quickly put down at the smug attitude of this elf wench.

"Well then! Iffin' THAT'S 'ow ye wanna be, then fine!" He said, hopping onto the comfortable, old chair by the fireplace and opening the basket, "I'll jus' hav' to eat a' this wonderful elfy food meself-" He stared blankly at the Kaldorei cuisine in the basket for a moment before continuing. "I'll just hav' to feed a' this wonderful elfy food to me worg, instead!" He said smugly, dangling a piece of the food in the air.

"Lock! 'ere boy!" The rather friendly looking worg jumped to attention, panting and smiling like a playful puppy.

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Kairiel snorted at the dwarf. She didn't like big meals, had never really had time for them, so the fact that he thought he could danlge food over her head was amusing to say the least.

She eyed the worg a moment. Well, he didn't look all that threatening...

A sigh escaped her lips as the last bits of tranquilizer wore off. She took a deep breath, cleared her head, and screamed as loud as she could. For a rogue who dealt in silence, she made quite a bit of noise. Oh, he could put her back under for all she cared, but if he thought this was going to be pleasant, he was sorely mistaken.

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Blasty clutched his head at the sound of the little banshee's wail! Quickly making a makeshift gag out of a sweaty handkerchief he silenced the screeching elf.

"Rioght! That's it! I dinnae wanna hav' to do this lassy! But ye've force me hand!" He said, striding over to a torture device, covered by a tarp, "Ye're gonna regret being such a snotty wee brat! Oh aye!"

((Suspence!))

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When not housing the moans and stink of the undead, Northrend was a peaceful place. Colossal mountains covered in snow, where not even many animals bothered to live. A perfect place to get away from the commotions of normal city existences... particularly Dalaran and its overcrowded 'splendor'.

But the resounding shriek echoed across the rocks, shaking snow loose and causing it to come crashing down like a domino effect. Rand blinked at hearing the shriek... then purple eyes widened as he heard the ominous rumble echoing and rising up all around him. The young ghostly looking tiger also looked up nervously, both glancing at each other and then making a bee-line right towards a white drake who lay resting not too far away.

"Up.. Up!... UP NOW!" Rand lept onto the drakes back with the tiger leaping on behind him, digging its claws deep into the thicker leather of the saddle. "UP UP UP!"

"Huhwha- ACK!" The drake rose its head groggily, then was completely aware of what Rand was yelling about, leaping into the air and flapping its wings to get as high as it could... The rush of wind and a spray of ice and snow caused turbulence that almost caused the drake to go off kilter, but it dove down behind the thick cloud of snow and debris, landing on a quiet ledge... all three of them watching it continue to cascade down the mountain's side.

Rand furrowed his eyebrows, glancing back to the tiger who was still tense and its fur completely puffed out, then to the drake who was eyeing up at him in equal annoyance.

"Someone's going to pay for that." He said, the drake giving an affirmed nod back at him before leaping off again, finding an upcurrent of wind, and gliding through the air... to search for the source of the screaming that had started that whole mess.

Following the ensuing yellings of, obviously, an angry dwarf was easy enough... the drake swooping into the mouth of the cave, landing loudly, and Rand and the tiger leaping off... only to come face to face with a door.

"..." A sigh, then Rand dug through his packs, pulling out some items of which he began to place together, a bit of a mischevious smirk coming across his face. The door was about to meet it's maker... in the form of the bomb that would blow it open.

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Kairiel chuckled darkly, her eyes a dangerous golden hue. The dwarf seemed upset enough, and really, that was all she could ask for. The gag didn't bother her, nor did his apparent torture machine underneath that sheet. Years of training and more training had taught her only one thing: It was amazing what one could live through. Besides, she hadn't survived this long to find her mother and father to only be taken out by this sorry excuse for a man. Dwarf. Thing.

Laughter filled her throat and then bubbled out through the gag. It was a cheery sound, despite the current circumstances. Was she afraid? A bit. But in the end, if he killed her, she would haunt him the rest of his days... and he thought the screaming was bad...

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With an evil, dark chuckle, Blastbrew swiftly pulled the sheet off of the device...

Carved wood and ornate leather composed of the device. The wooden pipes were pollished to a dangerous, mirror shine. The leather was dyed a sufficating blue. It was truely a menacing device to behold.

"Jus' remember, lass... Ye brought this upon yerself. Oh aye!" And with that, Blastbrew placed his lips upon one of the pipes, and blew.

"Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

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The elf blinked a few times. What kind of torture was this? Music? She blinked a few more times, but wasn't really getting the point. She actually enjoyed the music, if that's what it was supposed to be. It was a bit annoying at first, but once you got over the wailing, it was rather pleasant. She found herself hummin along softly. Not too bad...

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Peritous muttered quietly to himself as he traveled Northrend on the back of his gryphon. "I'm a death knight, not a fucking babysitter... And how am I supposed to find this kid anyway? I mean after she interfered with me fighting that other death knight and lich, I'm supposed to go save her from some kidnapper? Nel needs to give me a raise..." His gaze rested on a band of trolls in the midst of some heathen ritual and his fingers twitched slightly. "Still can't figure out for the life of me why we're fighting these trolls... I mean I hate trolls as much as anyone else, but they're fighting the scourge as much as we are... We should have waited till after Arthas was dead to wipe these scum from the world..."

He pulled at the reigns of the gryphon, causing it to bank and turn into a dive to pick up speed as they started to head west. "Come bird chicken beast, lets do Anuari's job of finding this girl, then we can do our job of killing whoever took her. If I were a dwarf I would be in a mountain somewhere... Let's check out the Stormpeaks."

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Blastbrew would soon have his 'performance' interrupted... by a large explosive BOOM that destroyed the door and blew it off its hinges. Th resounding sound echoed throughout the mountains, causing more rumblings as snow was disturbed and sent falling down the mountain.

"...SORRY!" Rand yelled out, fully aware that noise probably caused more destruction than the shriek did.

Thankfully he had a surprising resilience to survive critical and painful injuries...

But, once that was done, the hunter punted what was left of the door away, storming into the hovel and... not understanding what the hell he was seeing just now.

"..." Purple eyes blinked, and the tiger cocked its head to the side in confusion... Rand switched his words to common to address the situation, "Just what the hell are you doing?!"

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Blastbrew looked at the rather annoying visitor, then to his hostage, the gears squeekily turning in his head.

"...Havin' a bagpipe recital! Wot d'ye THINK I be doin'!?! Yer payin' for that door, lad!" He exclaimed, his various pets uncovering their ears from the sound of the bagpipes, their ire now focused on the intruder in their home, teeth and beak were bared. Blasty dropped his bagpipes, which let out a high-pitched grunt at the fall, and picked up his rifle, patting it gently.

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"Yeah, well, your 'recital' almost got me killed!" The shriek OBVIOUSLY had to come from that 'musical' monstrosity that had just been flung on the ground, Rand eyeing the gun the dwarf was picking up, a look to the female night elf all tied up... then back to the bagpipes, unhooking a sword from his belt. "I'm going to kill this thing before it does harm to anyone else!"

A swift swing at the bagpipes, aiming to slice them through and make sure they could never plague the world with their screaming again.

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Kairiel noticed the elf's eyes first and then it clicked: he wasn't in on any of this. He looked far too shocked to know what he was about to walk in on. She tugged at the chains and started shaking her head 'no'. Her golden eyes were frantic. There was no way this elf could walk out of here. She'd be done for. Silver hair fell in her face as she continued to shake her head back and forth. Please Forgotten Gods, let him understand.

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Lock was not a friendly worg. Not at all. Infact, Lock was once one of the meanest worgs in the woods of the Howling Fjord. A lean, mean, babyeatting machine this worg was. Any beastmaster would be a fool to try and tame him!

So, naturally, Blastbrew had to try it.

Not being able to tame Lock by conventional means, Blasty turned to a more Runic method. A collar, inscribed with runes that would turn Lock into no more than a happy, stupid puppy.

However, the collar would also be able to focus all the cruel, animalist rage Lock possessed to whomever Blastbrew picked out, and tear the poor sod to ribbons.

But, as of the moment, Lock was just happy that there was someone new, and he was barking happily!

That was intill the bagpipes gave a great moan as they died from the blade of a rather stupid Blood Elf. The sound was soon followed by the girlish shriek of Lock's dwarven master, who soon pointed one of his fat, sausage-like fingers at the intruder and shouted two words.

"Sic 'em!"

With that, Lock was filled with the rage of one hundred and one disgruntled wolverines. And not half a second after the order was given, he pounced upon the dimwitted Blood Elf.

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Stupid? Maybe... lack of discretion had gotten Rand in trouble in the past. This was really no different than the other times he'd come across Alliance in out of the ordinary situations.

A blink as the worg leapt towards him with a rabid fury, keeping his hand on the sword to swing it at the beast and give a rather painful blow to its legs, with the tiger lunging forward to meet it, using its bulk to knock the worg over and keep it away from its master.

Well, the night elf girl was in trouble... but she wasn't hurt, other than having to be around a rather homely looking dwarf. He wasn't particularly fond of her kind, but given the close quarters, she was probably bound to be collatteral damage if this fight went any further.

That foul instrument was done for, anyway.

A crack of his neck, then a shrug, "Zodiac, let's go!" He spoke as he wandered back out the door and remounted the white drake, the cat backing off from fighting with the worg to jump back on the dragon as well as it lifted off, hovering for a moment near the mouth of the cave, then catching another upward gust and flying up towards the peak.

Seemingly he was gone... for now anyway.

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