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Everything posted by Tahzani

  1. Tahzani Tallfisher (H)

    Full name: Tahzani Tallfisher Nickname: Tahz, Taz Age: 27 Race: Troll (Forest) Gender: Male Hair: Green Skin color: Green Eyes: Brown Height: Approximately 7’2” when standing at full height Weight: 220 Place of Residence: Durotar Birthplace: Revantusk Village, The Hinterlands Languages: Orcish, Zandali and is fluent in drunken slurring and mumbling Occupation: Bartender and occasional hexer Likes: Beaches, sharp wit, and long rides through the countryside Dislikes: Zealots, spiders, and vomit Hobbies: Tailoring, dancing, and studying different kinds of magic Special abilities: Natural regeneration augmented by his own spells, high tolerance for pain, and sensitivity to darker spirits. Physical description: Tahzani is small for a forest troll, standing a few inches shorter than his kin and much thinner. He is physically fit and leanly muscled from a years of performing as a hexer. There is evidence that he had a sizable tattoo removed from his back at one point and a large scar that stretches from his left shoulder to his elbow. History: Tahzani was born into a family of anglers in Revantusk Village. From a young age he show surprising aptitude for magic and became the apprentice of the local hexer. He trained under his master until the day the Revantusk joined the Horde and he left to begin serving in the army. Finding that his performances were not practical in combat situations he faced on a daily basis he began studying the magic of the warlocks and finding similarities between their manipulation of darker magic and his own manipulation of wrathful spirits. His service to the Horde was short-lived as he soon found himself witnessing the horrible actions performed by excitable members of the Horde in Stonetalon. He left active service shortly after and joined a small group of merchants and relic hunters in Coldstar Merchant Co. Tahzani tends to dwell on his past mistakes to the point where he is reluctant, even fearful of making quick decisions. He is patient and friendly but finds himself aggravated by actions he deems as senseless and illogical. He currently serves as the bartender at Coldstar’s Cantina.
  2. Ill Will (Mature content)

    Warning: Mature content The air out in the Plaguelands was thick enough to taste, a pungent mixture of rotting meat and plantlife amongst a myriad of even less pleasant odors. He shuddered in revulsion and urged his dreadsteed to pick up its pace as he rode through the parched, grassy hills. The path he had chosen was not the easiest but it was less likely to draw attention from the living who had established dominion over the main roads. Even after a decade of warfare, the wilds still belonged to the dead and the diseased. The diseased were the reason that he had come in the first place. When the plague began to spread amongst the humans, the Mossflayer tribe had rejoiced. What group wouldn't be happy to see such misfortune befall a hated enemy? Yet their joy did not last as the very land they sought to reclaim turned into a spoiled prize. As the sickness spread amongst the humans, the land itself became tainted. The desperate need for untainted game drove the tribe into a trap created by the Scourge and their followers, leaving them as another casualty in the developing conflict. The tribe had fallen, but until their dying day they had lived on this doomed soil. If any spirits knew of disease and ruination, it was the trolls who had shuffled off their mortal coil here. For the hundredth time that hour alone he checked the charm he had crafted before beginning his voyage. The knucklebones had been taken from a human corpse and left to soak in a jar; in a cocktail of rotting sludge of plant matter, the venom of the local fauna, and strips of diseased flesh taken from the living dead themselves. He had vomited immediately when the bones had been withdrawn from the muck and even hours later with several layers of leather separating his skin from the stained bone he still felt unclean. It had taken him far too long to realize that that was how he knew it was working. When the charm no longer made him uncomfortable, he was getting further away from the entity he was tracking. A ring of dead trees surrounded a patch of yellowed grass that had been trampled flat with long dead firepit had been dug in the center. Surrounded by bones lying flat on their backs or sides it was easy to guess what had happened. No weapons had been drawn and there were no tracks leading back out of the area. The adventurers had simply gone to sleep, never to wake again. A chill up his spine followed by a wave of nausea left him dizzy. He had arrived at his destination and the momentary relief was soon buried beneath the dread of what came next. He knew not the name of the spirit he wished to bargain with nor did he have a piece of his target; all he had was the charm he used to sense it and what would ultimately be used to contain its blessing. The Amani trolls had a sense of superiority that could not be removed. The spirits here would surely be darkened by the magic that hung over the land like a shroud. His appeal would be blind and filled with guesswork and if that failed he would be at the mercy of the offended spirit. With that sobering thought, he set to work to prepare the area to appeal to the dead. The bones were not cleared from the campsite but repositioned until they were groveling before the firepit. The humiliation of a former enemy would have to be enough to stroke its ego. He withdrew a pair of vials from his pocket, one green and one red. The contents of the green vial were thick and bitter to the point that he had to force his mouth shut and swallow. His body reflexively tried to stop him, a survival instinct against ingesting poison. He would prove he was suffering and unwell, just like the land. He stripped down to his loincloth and reached into the ashes of the firepit. HIs black stained fingers were moist with some unknown filth that had mixed into the ashes. The combination of death and filth was perfect for his means, but it still made his flesh crawl as he painted patterns and symbols in black across his bare chest, arms, and legs. His body became a canvas telling a story of his desire to destroy, the spirit would know this and choose whether or not to make an appearance. He flicked a hand and reignited the firepit with a sickly green flame. Fel was almost universally despised, but the spirits of the land wallowed in sickness and corruption. The magic was merely another form of suffering for them to enjoy. The final piece of his performance came from his pack. Two curved, sickle-like knives with freshly sharpened edges. He held one in each hand, one in a reverse grip, the other in an upright grasp. To mark oneself was to pay tribute, to bleed was to pay tribute. The Loa would see just how far he was willing to go just to draw its attention. He would be damned if he did not make a lasating first impression. There was no need for subtelty. His dance began with a scream of pain as he drew the blade across his shoulder and drew a strip of hide away as easily as one would peel a carrot. The agony did not die with time, it only grew worse as the poison took hold. His veins were growing heavier and itched maddeningly from the inside. Every beat of his heart sent fire through his veins as Syreena's mixture began to spread. His movements were shaky as he high stepped and screamed around the circular clearing. He threw in a spin here and there as he drew the blades across his exposed skin. More bloody lines were dug across his body, more strips of flesh were pulled away and dropped onto the blood moistened earth and speckled the bones. His blood mixed with the filthy ash paint, rendering the symbols difficult to read and meaningless as they ran and smeared across his flesh. It soon became all he could do do stay upright as he throatily wailed a song without words, rhythm, or even meaning. His nonsensical verse was puncuated randomly by shouts of pain as he looked for another unmarred patch of skin to cut open. The flame rose and hissed as he flicked the blood from his blades onto it with violent motions and spins. Unbeknownst to him, the flames had begun to twist and another shadow stretched away from the light. He had practiced the dance and the motions he would take well in advance, but even if he knew the steps it became impossible to follow as his senses became dulled and his body grew weaker. The poison Syreena had given him him left him dizzy and nauseous; he should have expected such a high-quality agent from his friend. He began laughing hysterically as he realized that the one time he would have accepted someone giving him an inferior product was the one time they went above and beyond his requirements, and it was all to hurt him. His steps faltered, his legs wobbled on bones made of jelly, and soon afterwards he crashed to the ground. " Ya try too hard." An amused, wet sounding voice gurgled from behind him. It had worked! Relief washed over him, indistinguishable from the waves of nausea as he struggled to rise. He looked upon the spirit he had called and immediately fell into another fit of dry heaving with his eyes tightly shut. He had seen war, he had seen the dead, he had seen mass graves and mutilation, but the form the spirit had taken was indescribable. His reaction earned another gurgling, wet noise that was nothing short of a violation of what laughter should be. " Well little hexer, ya put on a show to call me an' I be flattered. Now ya can't even look at me? Don't have the stomach ta look upon the dead anymo?" Tahzani forced his head up with sweat stinging his eyes and blurring his vision. The hindrance made the horrid form before him barely tolerable; brown, bloated skin whose surface crawled was all he could make out. He gulped down his bile and spoke with the strongest voice he could manage, " Loa of de Mossflayah. He who embodies this blighted land. I have come to bargain." " As it has been and always will be. Ya honor the traditions calling upon the ancestors... Though ya be far away from home, Revantusk." " Dis land reflects the soul of the one I want exposed." The creature before him let out an intrigued noise and leaned forward, silently commanding him to continue. " She waves her banners and preaches ideals that she forces others to follow, but none of her army does. She be a hypocrite... A tyrant... Irredeemable scum surrounded by filth. I want her to suffer, I want her to scream an' weep, I want her fair features to mirror the rotten core dat i've seen!" " Talkin' about dirty insides, look at yaself. Ah can taste de poison in ya veins, the dirt in ya blood... De taint on jah very SOUL!" It released another gurgling mockery of amusement at the flare of anger that crossed Tahzani's features. " I can do that for ya, but what be in it for me?" The jovial attitude took on an edge of greed and an unspoken threat. If he failed to please this one, the debilitating illness he felt would be a candle to a bonfire. " Ya tribe lay dead or enslaved by de Cult a de Damned an' what remains a de Scourge in dis area. Even as we speak dere be a sect of human holy warriors workin' ta purge de lands of what remains of jah tribe." The amused air that surrounded the plague ridden being disappeared, for a moment he feared he would not get the chance to finish his statement. " Wah be comin'. De Alliance an' de Horde been workin' ta rid dis land a de Legion but it ain't gonna last, it nevah does. An' ah know someone just as eagah as jah ta see Humanity fall. Jah gimme jah blessin', an' de sickness dat brought de Mossflayah such joy can be used against jah enemies once moah. Jah gimme jah blessin' fah dis one elf, an' i'll make suah it gets ta de right people ta be spread amongst de humans. I will give jah vengeance beyond de grave." He could no longer meet the Loa's gaze and his head dropped towards the ground in a gesture of submission. His heart was laboring to beat as the blood rushed in his ears. Every pulse of the organ sent a wave of nausea through his guts and a surge of fresh pain through his blackened veins. " Half for you, half for humanity." The warning was delivered and quickly followed by a violent surge of nausea that sent him to the bloodied mud in a thrashing heap. He vaguely registered his own muffled screaming and the feeling of his heel being brought down upon the brittle skull of one of the begging skeletons. The poison in his veins no longer registered as a cold lump settled in his gut and a feeling of wrongness permeated his very being. The charm found its way to his hands once more; the knucklebones were gone, more accurately they had become part of the liquid. The unnatural, magically induced disease had reduced them to a gelatinous slurry that settled into the bottom of the vial, the amber-brown liquid had become cloudy and threaded with wisps of darker energy that squirmed and wriggled like worms made of smoke. He could taste blood and bile as he reached a violently shaking limb for his bag to grab the antidote. Even as he downed the thick, red liquid he knew that it would only take the edge off of what had become a minor pain. He dropped the empty antidote and reached for his hearthstone. " Get me outta heah..." He whispered hoarsely, invoking the spell. Within moments, he disappeared, leaving behind a sodden, bloodstained, and fel tainted campsite. ***** His skin crawled, cold and slimy in contrast to the burning dryness of his veins and throat. He squirmed on his bed in the grip of a fever dream and pleaded with the unseen as his heels dragged and kicked at the soiled sheets at the foot of the bed. The Forsaken watched him with unease. His wrists and ankles had been strapped down to prevent him from thrashing out of the sweat and blood stained bed. He was covered in maggots that had immediately taken to removing the diseased, dead flesh from around the peeled sections of hide. His wounds were inflicted by tools that had to be wrestled away from the delirious bartender before treatment could even begin. Such wounds were painful but rarely fatal for trolls, but the effects of the wound went far beyond simple bleeding. He had already sent for more maggots as several of the plump white creatures had already curled in on themselves and fallen still. The dead flesh itself seemed cursed. Tahzani's former profession was known to him but he had never witnessed the cost with his own eyes. He had been successful, the tainted trinket was proof of that and had been removed from his person to allow him to recover. Hooked up to tubes and bags of fluid, the pale, dark-veined troll was a sad sight. " Will this solve anything?" He asked the insensate troll. Feeling a dim surge of anger at the carelessness of the hexer. " Will this make either of you happy? ANYONE?" He sighed as the troll released another pathetic whimper and shuddered. The next question pierced the haze of the troll's mind. Everything he had suffered through because of her and for *her*. His ultimate reward for the act was most likely a prison cell for the rest of his days if he was not slain immediately. "Is it worth it?" Selris asked quietly. " No." Tahzani answered with a weak croak. The answer meant for a far broader question than what had been asked. The realization of what he had said sincerely was worse than the pain that left him bedridden for the rest of the night.
  3. Hallow's End Party (Horde)

    Looking forward to this tomorrow!
  4. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    The fliers are worn and tattered from exposure to the elements and yellowed with age. They advertise the popular bar known as the Coldstar Cantina. The few that have remained where they were originally posted are now covered with a newer flier The Coldstar Cantina Tired of watered down liquor and a limited selection? Come to the coolest bar in Kalimdor! We boast the greatest variety and server over 40 types of alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages. Paired with world-class service this is a night out that you’ll always enjoy! Now serving at the beautiful (And exclusive) resort in Western Azshara until further notice. A portion of all proceeds will be donated to the war effort against the Burning Legion. Summer is ending! Wouldn’t you rather spend it poolside? Open Sundays at 8:30 Gallywix Pleasure Palace, Azshara ((In response to demonic invasions and phasing concerns, the Cantina will be hosted in Azshara until the expansion’s release))
  5. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    ((Due to problems with my schedule I will be unable to run the Cantina tonight and will be running it Sunday, June 4th))
  6. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    The Coldstar Cantina: Back in business After a long hiatus the Coldstar Cantina is re-opening! Come find us at Wyvern's Tail in Orgrimmar. Now serving on Saturdays at 7:30! In honor of our re-opening, first drink is on the house. Come drink to the Legion's fall and enjoy a variety of liquors and non-alcoholic beverages that put our competitors to shame! When: Saturdays at 7:30 P.M. (Server) Where: Wyvern's tail, Orgrimmar
  7. The Clickening

    I don't know about everyone else but whenever a character in a game or a MoBA has lines for being clicked again and again, i'll click them until they get pissed off. It made me curious what some characters would do in that situation. What would your people say if they were a MoBA champion or even an NPC to be clicked repeatedly and ordered around Tahzani Tallfisher Upon selection: Jah gettin’ jah money’s worth Click: Ah’m listenin’ Whatcha need Commandah? Warmed up an’ ready fah de show Waitin’ on you What’s on jah mind? Shadows be gathered. Excessive clicking: Feelin’ frisky? Ey’ EY!... Customah service got limits It no be wise ta cross a hexah Ah’ don’ make toads, ah make dead tings… An’ good cocktails Hexes, curses, agony, debilitation… An’ fine wines Fine, keep pokin’. Spike mah rates, punk Ordered to move: On mah way Pick up de pace! Ooh, trouble comin’ dis way! You got it Tahz on de way. Aight aight, ah’m goin’ Stretchin’ mah legs Ordered to attack: Happy hour INCOMIN’! Spreadin’ like a virus! De dark be comin’ fah jah! TAZDINGO! Mah staff, your face! Start de show! Here ah come! Bad day ta be dem! Taunt: Dark spirits swirl around Tahzani as he stands straight and folds his arms “ Jah got enemies on both sides, mon.” “ Ah be hard ta kill… You? Not so much.” “ Don’ worry, jah make plenty a friends where you goin’ Joke: Tahzani pours a glass of wine/tankard of ale, takes a sip and sprays it out in disgust “ Mah services be elegant, refined, an’ classy… *PFFFT!* Ugh! Most days “ Nevah settle fah bein’ good at one ting! PFFFT! Try ta suck at many… “ Can’ we settle dis ovah a drink? PFFFT! No. Not dat one Death: Tahzani clutches his own throat as dark spirits swirl around him and lift him into the air. He goes limp after a moment and is dropped to the ground as they disperse Rebirth: “Okay, encore?” “ Let’s try dat again… Witout suckin’” “ Dat ain’t a hangovah, it much worse.”
  8. The Clickening

    Gunheya Darkhowl: Upon selection: Let me handle this Click: You and me, boss Reading you loud and clear Engineered solutions I'm thinking... Distracted Mhm...? We need longer days, man Excessive clicking: Being green is actually easier than people think. Tryng to focus here, boss. Poke the guy with a doomsday device? Let me know how that works out. EVERYTHING needs a big red button Okay fine, you keep annoying me while I win this fight for you, how's that sound? Frantic beeping You pressed the red one huh? Ordered to move: You got it Orders received Blink and i'm there Fast as I can Zug zug Ordered to attack: Lok'tar! Try surviving this! You get a stab wound and YOU get a stab wound! Lotta good that armor will do Strike them down! Taunt: Gunheya pulls out a device and begins fiddling with it " Let me know when you send someone worth fighting." " I prefer a battle of wits... But you're unarmed." " If you're not gonna make this interesting, i'm not going to pay attention." Joke: Gunheya folds his arms, then begins to float off the ground. He starts flailing his arms as he turns upside down before suddenly falling to the ground. He dusts himself off as he mutters. "I reject your reality and substitute my ow-OW! You win THIS time..." "Natural or civil, a law can be brok-DAMMIT!" " I must go now, my planet needs me." Death: The final blow forces Gunheya to take a step back. Sparks begin spraying from his armor as he looks around in a panic before letting out an agonized shout as arcs of electricity race all over his body and he drops to the ground. Rebirth: " Don't look at me..." " I'm not a damsel in need of saving!" " Calling that a set-back sounds cliche." "Few tweaks and i'm back in, promise!" Upon deploying Bob: Offensively: " Go for the eyes!" " Shred 'em!" " Eliminate the target, Bob!" Defensively: " Block them!" " Roll with the blows!" Support: " i put you back together...Time to return the favor."
  9. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    (( Due to technical difficulties I will not be around to run the cantina tomorrow. I will work to resolve this issue but until I do I have no computer that can run Warcraft))
  10. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    The Coldstar Cantina is on the move! The Coldstar Cantina has rarely stayed in one spot long enough to gather dust. Familiarity is comforting but variety is the spice of life! As such, we at Coldstar Merchant Company are happy to announce that the Cantina has begun its road trip across the great continent of Kalimdor! Come find us in Gadgetzan in Tanaris during the month of February! Open Sundays at 6:00 P.M. (Server) Come find us in these locations: Month of March: Steam pools resort, Feralas Month of April: To be announced ((Due to my own work schedule and suggestions from others I am open to the ideas or a possible vote on a new day to run Cantina. PM me if you have a request.))
  11. Dark Star Rising

    Tahzani had followed the group with a growing sense of unease. They were united in their task but the distance between several of them suggested an amount of distrust that could prove hazardous to the success of this rescue attempt. He was unsure of his place in the ritual, but if Khorvis could be pulled back to the proper plane, he would help in any way he could. He hardly paid attention as the undead began to speak, the area they had been lead to was too distracting. The unnatural formation of mushrooms and the lingering ambience suggested it held great potential. The veil was weaker, and as such, easier to pierce by unblessed amateurs in the art. In time it could develop into a larger problem as this errant weave in reality developed into a full-blown hole. But for the moment, it suited their needs. If the old orc had truly been in those lands for so long, he feared there would be little left to recover. Still, even pulling him back just to kill him here would be a greater mercy than leaving him to expire in the darkened land beyond.
  12. Kerala Windchaser (Tauren Druid)

    Tahzani ponders the question before answering, " Ah'll be honest. Ah don' know Kerala as well as ah feel ah should. She be one a de few druids who speaks plainly. Sure she got de wisdom of someone who ain't consumed by de petty desires of our societies but she says it flat out and in words jah can undahstand. She ain't even preachy about it!" He lets out a short laugh, " Ah tink ah should probably learn a few tings from her. When she talks, jah should listen."
  13. Grand New Year Story Contest 2017

    So it's about how the people have used the artifact appearances and crafted their own lore about them or the significance behind a character's chosen weapon?
  14. Journal of a Barkeep

    January 14th: I don’t see how leaving evidence that anyone can pick up and read will help me but for now I trust Selris’s advice. He’s a healer with experience in what makes the mind work. He’s less invasive than Lilly I would assume, but his tendency to chuckle at nothing unnerves me. Anyway, I guess the whole point of this is to vent without chatting someone’s ear off or whining like a baby looking for sympathy. Things are okay, I guess. I wish I could break down a few more walls with Lilly but she’s a bit better about getting things out of me than I am out of her. Though it’s nice to see that she understands my neutrality regarding a lot of things. It’s not that I don’t feel strongly about anything, it’s just that getting emotional and acting rashly rarely ever ends well. The last cantina wasn’t particularly profitable but it’s good to see that during a bad time I’ve got plenty willing to step up and lend me a hand. Though I really need to ask, why does everyone always go for the nose? It was the first time this year that my nose has been broken but there was an uncomfortable trend last year. Guess I’ll keep log of it for when I finally snap, keep track of people who have wronged me and seek retribution later. Sometimes I feel like I should have taken some sort of physical training to withstand the abuse I suffer from my allies as well as my enemies. Vendetta list: Konro of Nothing: Broke my nose 1 time Shokkra of Sanctuary: Broke my nose 1 time Kogrona of The Grim: Hit me with a table
  15. Journal of a Barkeep

    The handwriting for the entry is far sloppier than normal and at times repetitive as if he had lost track of what he was writing. More than likely he was inebriated at the time. January 1st: The last line of my entry a few months ago was just a saying… A hyperbole. Apparently the universe took it as a challenge. With so much that has happened where do I even begin? We fended off the initial attack of the Legion, costing us Vol’jin, Wrynn, and the tense ceasefire they had established. Sylvanas is Warchief now and despite the squabbling between her and Greymane it seems a large chunk of adventurers from either side are working together in groups outside the faction dispute. We have gained our foothold and now we are picking up speed. With the Emerald Nightmare pushed back we’ve turned our sights to the Shal’dorei city of Suramar and its traitorous leader, Elisande. Just what we needed, more elves. If I could just focus on the Legion, I would be happy. But instead, I find myself drawn into the conflict between Grim and Sanctuary against my will. I have tried to stay neutral but this time they’ve all but made it impossible. Tensions were building even before the Legion invaded as Sanctuary grew more and more aggressive in response to Syreena. Now they finally did something in response. Apparently paladins have changed since Fordring died, there was no swift death as “justice” would demand, but weeks worth of torture, pinned to the wall by the blade of an enchanted sword. Julilee apparently tried to deal with it properly but was unable to get past the security Cerryan had left. So she decided to call Lilliana for help. Though at this point I’m wondering if it was out of an honest need for assistance or just to kill two birds in a single strike. As soon as she saw what her subordinate had done, she decided the right thing to do would be to slay Syreena and anyone who would have stopped her. I can’t blame Lilly for going, I don’t know what line Julilee used to attract her but she should have known anything that delusional bitch wanted probably would put her at risk. Instead she goes at it with the same devil may care attitude and nearly gets herself killed. Julilee would have slain her, Syreena, and the unborn all to avoid Sanctuary getting its comeuppance when Syreena recovered. Julilee probably didn’t know. Hell it even took me a bit of prying to get it out of her. Lilly is pregnant… And it’s mine. In the midst of a Legion invasion, that’s when it happens. Guess it already has my luck. She’s taken means to hide it, hell we’re basically forced to. Between the Grim’s sense of duty and Sanctuary’s lunacy I can think of several people who would either use it as leverage against her, demand she get rid of it, or try to kill it immediately just for fun. It’s a messed up world when we can’t even have this. Back on track, Julilee failed to kill any of the three and retreated, spouting off some nonsense about justice. For once, Lilly was up front with me about what happened, but then again she was upfront with everyone about it. She’s been trying to be the mediator (Though not being obvious about it) for months but this was the last straw with Sanctuary’s actions. I feel that another civil war between the Grim and Sanctuary will erupt soon. Though now I’m uncertain if it’s a bad feeling or something I want to happen. I mean I did spend all of today plotting when I should have been working on the Cantina’s next location. I’m so scatterbrained I can’t even keep the events in order. When I heard what had happened, I was angry, infuriated even and who could blame me? Julilee, who I have done NOTHING to, endorses my death and then tries to kill my family and my friend. I made the mistake of saying out loud that I would kill her… And Lilly smiled. There was no grim resolve in doing what needed to be done, just a happy smile that she was getting her way. That smile broke me out of my planning at around the seventh hour of coming up with ideas. A notebook full of plots later and I was suddenly struck with an important question, why? Julilee deserves punishment, but just whom am I doing it for? My own preservation through removing an incompetent leader? Revenge for Lilly and Syreena? Protecting the child? If it’s the latter perhaps I should be directing the spell at Lilly too! I suddenly realized the line I had been willing to cross for her, and what it would mean. If I did something that ended up getting Julilee killed, Lilliana would abuse it. The dam finally broke and I started thinking more and more about just where I stood at the moment. I tell her to not step so close to the cliff, and she leans further over it just because she finds my distress amusing. I warn her of what could happen if she takes a solid hit, she denies the fact and laughs at me like I’m a fool. I warn her to be careful and she goes out and gets a talking dagger from a cultist. Not something a pregnant lady should have! Who knows where it has been! Everything that made me love her, every scrap of depth and deeper meaning that she covers up with a sheet of idiocy is gone. When she should be maturing, when she should be thinking about more than just herself she returns to her old, selfish, pleasure seeking ways. So yes, Julilee tried to kill her and the child… But Lilly has been doing the same thing almost every day with her carelessness. Every time I’ve tried to protect her I’m treated with condescension, scorn, or mockery. Then off she goes off to get in over her head and stress me out even more. She picks fights she has no chance of winning, she meddles with things that not even a healthy person should touch, makes a game out of playing with curses and worse, and once she even just stood in a Skrog’s path, grinning at me as if saying ‘You’d better step in!’ Some days, I feel like she would break her own legs just so she could blow a raspberry at my horrified face and say ‘It’s no big deal’. She doesn’t care, and I’m just now realizing that it’s not just in regards to my health or safety or even her own. She doesn’t care about anything, at all. The world is her toy box and it doesn’t matter how many others suffer and die or even how much she is hurt so long as she’s amused by it. It took me until now to realize how low my standards have dropped. I was happy that she told me about the attack. I was happy because unlike the last time, she was forthcoming, she didn’t hide it for weeks and get angry when someone asked about it. How messed up is it that you’re overjoyed when a person tells you the truth for once? So much so that you overlook the horrible things they’ve done otherwise? The pregnancy should have been a turning point… I know such a thing doesn’t make anything easier but I thought that she would change. She would become more responsible and put something else first. If anything she’s worse than before and I feel like I’m starting to strain and snap. When was the last time I said I loved her and truly meant it… Probably the last time we were at the campgrounds. Meanwhile the only time she was able to reply in kind was when she was afraid of losing me and I had no reason to trust her words, I still don’t. That should have been a sign but I deluded myself and tried to mend fences. I would have rather been abused than alone. I was fully willing to kill for her and become just as bad as the worst members of either side. Doing so would invite more pain. It’s no secret that she makes a habit of testing my patience in every way. She prods and prods until I snap and she cowers… Then she does it again. Doing this for her would erase the line she has been toeing for over a year. She would find any reason to get herself in trouble, hurt, or worse and then come whining to me to deal with it. I should have realized when I said those words and she beamed like a giddy girl whelp instead expressing grim resolve that a horrible yet necessary situation warrants that this was a mistake. She was so happy at getting me to finally fall into her world of thinking. Killing Julilee isn’t a necessity to her… It’s just fun. I’ve repeated myself too much in this entry and half of it is complaining about Lilly. I can’t keep my promise for Julilee… But I will find a way to make her pay. Tomorrow I’ll wake up and realize that this is ridiculous. Things will go on as they have been. I will be abused and people will do stupid things while I will try to rationalize why. I will convince myself that they don’t mean it or they have the best intentions. I won’t make any rash decisions and nothing will change. Yet, after writing this I wonder how much more I can take. How much longer will I be the nice troll? The empathetic good guy who tries to help people bent on self or mutual destruction? How long before I stop caring and join the rest of these idiots in the rush for immediate gratification as the world ends? Part of me hopes I break soon… It sounds better than what I’ve been doing. Vendetta List: Sanctuary: Enough said, these idiots have been bellowing about ideals that they’ve done nothing to achieve. I’ve tried to be neutral but now, anything that does them wrong is fine by me. Lilliana: Despite her claims, I know that her own desires will always come before anything else. She has hurt me in every way without a second’s hesitation but will always whine when something happens to her. If she’s not going to be an adult, neither will I. She wants me to loosen up? Let’s see how she likes being with someone just like her. Payback List: Soon to be filled Silver Lining: Our world is ending and people have managed to lodge their heads even further up their own asses. If you can find the bright side to this, let me know.
  16. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    The Coldstar Cantina is on the move! The Coldstar Cantina has rarely stayed in one spot long enough to gather dust. Familiarity is comforting but variety is the spice of life! As such, we at Coldstar Merchant Company are happy to announce that the Cantina has begun its road trip across the great continent of Kalimdor! Come find us at Fizzle and Pozzik's Speedbarge in Thousand Needles throughout the month of January! Open Sundays at 6:00 P.M. (Server) Come find us in these locations: Month of January: Fizzle and Pozzik's Speedbarge, Thousand Needles Month of February: To be decided
  17. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    ((The Cantina will be closed tonight, December 25th. Merry Christmas everybody!))
  18. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    The Coldstar Cantina is on the move! The Coldstar Cantina has rarely stayed in one spot long enough to gather dust. Familiarity is comforting but variety is the spice of life! As such, we at Coldstar Merchant Company are happy to announce that the Cantina has begun its road trip across the great continent of Kalimdor! Come find us in Thunder Bluff throughout December! Open Sundays at 8:00 P.M. (Server) Come find us in these locations: Month of December: Thunder Bluff, Mulgore. Central Bluff Month of January: To be decided ((Still adjusting to the new timezone and living arrangements but I believe I have what I need to start up again.))
  19. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    ((I'm in the process of settling into a new home while I'm going through job training. For right now I don't have a computer so unfortunately I won't be able to run the cantina until further notice. Bayonii may be on to run it without me but it is not guaranteed. Sorry for the short notice but things have been hectic))

    Why is that a thing?
  21. Coldstar Cantina (H)

    The old fliers promoting the Cantina have been torn down and replaced with a fresh page depicting a white mammoth running across it carrying massive beer kegs on its sides. Below it is a message exclaiming an exciting new turn for the well known business. The Coldstar Cantina is on the move! The Coldstar Cantina has rarely stayed in one spot long enough to gather dust. Familiarity is comforting but variety is the spice of life! As such, we at Coldstar Merchant Company are happy to announce that the Cantina has begun its road trip across the great continent of Kalimdor! Every month we will be packing up and moving our fine wares to a new location. You have all fought for Azeroth, now take a moment to rest and enjoy it! Open Sundays at 8:30 Come find us in these locations: Month of November: The Crossroads, Northern Barrens Month of December: Thunder Bluff, Mulgore Month of January: To be decided ((My apologies to the community, between the Launch of the new expansion and my own issues I have been a bit lax on running the Cantina. I will try to get back into the swing of things and I believe a little bit of variety and exposure can only help.))
  22. Sketchy Business

    Those eyes though
  23. Derecho: Invisible Sun

    Trolls could be poisoned; they could get diseases and infected wounds. Despite how often people over-exaggerated the strength of their regeneration, trolls could become unwell though it would take a great deal to do so. So what had happened to leave Lilliana in such a state? The barkeep’s lips were twisted into a permanent frown of concern as he watched the Sandfury toss and turn. She somehow managed to keep quiet but she could not hide was how obvious the pain and discomfort was. She had voided her stomach several times on the way to Bilgewater alone yet she still put on the usual ditzy smile and pretended like nothing was wrong, going so far as to throw old underwear left behind by a previous tenant at him for a laugh. Yet now, several hours later, she was still writhing in pain and at times even trying to rush outside as the urge to vomit rose. For the first hour, he had rushed to her side to lead her out, though he had quickly stopped bothering and let her roll to the side of the bed at the feeling of illness, nothing came out anyway. She was violently ill, yet there were no outward signs. She felt slightly warm to the touch but there was no fever. He had suspected poison but there were no traces that he could see. Per her protests when he suggested getting a healer, he had waited and helped her as he could. Yet as the hours rolled on and the symptoms seemed to only be getting worse his patience for Lilly’s antics wore thin. She hated feeling weak, but she hated displaying it even more. Every injury was met with a grin and a joke and outwardly she never took anything seriously. She was a deceiver at heart, but even she could not fake her way out of the current situation. The clock struck two when he finally made up his mind and left her alone. She was talking incoherently as he shut the door behind him and set off at a sprint towards the business district of Bilgewater. If anything, the Bay was even busier at night. The bars were still open and several inebriated patrons stumbled from one to the other, the vendors were still hocking wares and gouging potential customers with insane prices while they concocted award winning lies to tell about its worth. The storefronts that were barred up and darkened were in the minority there, yet sadly, the businesses advertising healers and medical experts were among that minority. The sign of a grinning goblin holding a giant needle would deter most clients almost as much as the slogan ‘No questions asked’ would attract them. Ignoring the darkened windows and all the other signs that the clinic was closed, Tahzani pounded on the door urgently. He would not make friends this way, but neither would he be ignored as he beat the door at a steady, determined tempo. His fist was going numb by the time a little light could be seen through the front window and the door was flung open to reveal a dark green goblin with a nose ring and a night gown complete with matching cap and puff-ball. “What the hell do you want? Do you have any idea what time it is?” the irate healer shouted at him angrily, “ Can’t you read? We’re closed!” “It be an emergen-“ “ Kid, everything is an emergency to you idiots! I’m losing beauty sleep arguing with a hypochondriac. Just push some fluids and go to bed!” the goblin growled as he moved to slam the door. His body acted faster than his mind as he shoved his foot into the doorway to prevent it from shutting. Regret flooded him as he paid the cost for succeeding. “ Mah girl is sick! She puked until dere notin’ left!” “ That’s magical, good for you. Move your foot ya mook!” “ Ah’m tinkin’ she be cursed! “ Well that’s what she gets for getting the voodoo. Kid, move.” “ …Ah got money!” He wasn’t sure when it happened, but suddenly the door was shut, his foot was out of the way, and the goblin had become fully dressed. Now clad in a white robe with a black leather satchel and a golden chain bearing the symbol of what he could only assume was the local mega church, the goblin struck a rather professional looking figure. “ Well we can’t just leave a poor soul to suffer can we? Hurry friend, lead the way!” “ Muddafucka…” Tahzani muttered as he limped towards the rented room, ignoring the incredible, limited time offer for bone setting that his new companion tried to push. *** He could only assume that the goblin was efficient. The alternative was that he had a very short attention span. Upon entering the rented room he had dropped his satchel and pulled out a variety of tools. Odd hoses attached to a metal disc and buds that he stuck in his ear, a hose attached to an inflating pad which he quickly wrapped around Lilly’s arm and inflated to a painful degree of pressure as he held her wrist, and a jar of thin sticks which apparently were necessary to examine the inside of the priest’s mouth. If Lilliana had been aware she probably would have strangled him. “ Well I got good news and I got bad news?” the healer finally said after a few minutes of poking, prodding and touching the priest with the assortment of equipment, “ This is probably gonna cost a bit more than you’d like.” “Well… What’s de good news?” “ That is the good news. I’d hate to get out of bed for copper! The bad news is she isn’t showing many physical signs. Sure she’s in pain and dry heaving but for the show she’s putting on everything should be a lot worse than I’ve seen. Think you’re on the right track when you called it a curse. Well, guess this is why I make the heavy purses. Now…” He pulled out a sheet of parchment and rapidly scribbled on it. “ After hours fee… Examination… Dispelling… Bruise healing….” “ Jah didn’t heal anytin’ on me!” Tahzani protested. “ Then how come your foot is fine?” Countered the goblin with a greedy smile. “ Okay then, I think this is a fair price, hell of a deal.” Tahzani’s stomach twisted into a knot as he read over the fee. He was well off but that did not mean he carried his life’s savings on his back. With every coin on his person he could pay a good deal of it but not the full amount. He suddenly longed for the pouch of coins he had tossed to Derecho. With the amount he had tossed to her he would have had enough. No good deed went unpunished it seemed. “ Uh… Jah got financin’?” “ Listen pal, you dragged me out of bed at an unholy hour. I’m not touching this lady again until I see something that makes it worth my while. So what’s it gonna be, in or out?” The sly demeanor suddenly turned cold as the goblin stared the much taller troll down. “ Ah got de money! It’s in de bank in Orgrimmah! Ah just need a few hours ta go get-“ “ A likely story, deadbeat. Cross off the last two fees and pay me what’s left. I’m out of here.” The angry healer had already begun to pack his bags despite Tahzani’s protests. The higher pitch must have woken the priestess as she let out a loud, annoyed hiss followed by a pained groan. She raised a hand and shakily pointed at her pack. “ Just a sec! Just a sec!” Tahzani waved a hand in front of the goblin before he dove for the life preserver in the metaphorical sea of debts and dug through it. His hand found what Lilly had been indicating as he heard the familiar clink of coins in a pouch. He triumphantly whipped the bag out and emptied its contents into his hand; a small shower of gold and an odd soggy sack that he tossed away as he presented the contents and then emptied his own pouch onto the pile. The healer’s demeanor rapidly shifted back to warm and pleasant as he pulled on a pair of pristine, white gloves. “ A pleasure doing business with you! Now please, stand back and let me work.” He announced in a polite, professional manner as he stepped back up to the annoyed looking priest. Tahzani was happy to comply as he flopped down into a chair that was several sizes too small and blew out a sigh of relief. His eyes fell upon the odd addition to the coin pouch that he had discarded. It looked like a stitched item, not a ball of gunk she had pulled out of the river. Curiosity got the better of him as he picked it up. It stank of fish and was soaked through with what felt like oil. When he pried the stitches apart he spilled fish scales and little bones onto the ground. The action earned him an annoyed look from the healer as he muttered and chanted, as he hovered his hands over the aggravated troll in small circles. Lilly did not practice the rituals that would require odd bits like the bag’s contents. It was filled with the reagents that a good hex would require yet they were all mixed and squished together. Stooping down to gather the odd mess of scales, bones, oil, and other odd bits he found himself staring at Lilly’s discarded coin purse. He was fairly certain that Lilliana had never bought anything from his company aside from a drink every blue moon. So why would she have a pouch imprinted with the Coldstar Logo? The pieces suddenly clicked into place as the healer drew his hands away and the priestess collapsed with a sigh of relief. The strain from the constant pain and misery had left her exhausted and without another word she had fallen asleep. The goblin eagerly scooped the gold into his bag, uncaring of the oily finish on several of the coins in the pile. “ A pleasure Mister…Troll. From all of us at Lightgear’s clinic I must say… Ask for us during business hours next time. G’night!” The door was slammed as the goblin made a quick escape. The noise caused Lilly to mutter again and roll over in her bed. He had tossed Derecho that pouch earlier that night, or a pouch just like it. Somehow it wound up in Lilly’s possession with a grisly addition, shortly after, Lilly became debilitated. The first domino toppled and his thoughts raced along the line. The bag he had given Derecho winds up with Lilly with an unpleasant addition, she becomes ill. Before that, T’suro is hurt and a stabbed doll is found on his person, the only people who he had seen get close enough were Lilly and Derecho. Before that, the same thing had happened, and Derecho had been holding a doll that looked suspiciously like him. It was convincing, but not concrete. Tahzani rubbed at his face. The evidence was compelling, but the rest did not make sense. Derecho had a temper, but she had not displayed any aptitude towards combat or magic. To top it off, Lilly was her friend, a kind face that Derecho never seemed to take for granted. She wouldn’t have attacked her, not with something like this! Tahzani looked over towards Lilliana. The troll was now slumbering peacefully after a long night, something that the barkeep desperately wished he could join. But as usual, a worrying mind would keep him up for hours more. Derecho was a friend, but Lilly was his mate. He owed it to both of them to get to the bottom of this.
  24. Journal of a Barkeep

    August 8th: More often than not this journal seems to be a running tally of everything that is going wrong with my life. I know what is going wrong and that sort of thing is difficult to forget, so why am I writing this down? Maybe someday after I’m dead, someone will be scrounging through the debris of my life, read it and gain perspective. But where do I even start with this past month? I suppose I should start with the most important events and work my way backwards. Naring attacked Lilly and tried to clap her in chains, all because of a few mean words. I probably would have never even heard about it if not for some fool goblin that decided to threaten me about some debt she allegedly incurred. I threw a letter back at him to refute his claims, which should keep his nose in the law books for a bit, hopefully. I imagine he isn’t used to people using his own beloved rules against him. The money is of no concern. I could pay off that amount after a particularly good night with the Cantina but the real problem was Lilly’s refusal to say anything. She only spilled her guts when I had her cornered and threw the proof in her face. I learned that this was not the first time that Naring attacked her even, the ‘crazed stranger in Gilneas’? That was him too. His behavior the last several times I’ve seen him has been odd, ranging from his usual goofy perversion to bullying, screaming, and saying awful things that would be just cause for a knife to the throat in most cultures. It was something I had passed off as just having a bad day. I defended him, defended the one who has been harassing and attacking my friends for months. I had no idea. I thought she trusted me, I thought I had broken down the walls but she still remains so tight lipped about everything that it seems she’d rather die than tell me there’s something wrong. I wondered aloud what other things she may have kept from me to avoid conflict, the implications were obvious even if they were baseless. When she sarcastically asked if I wanted a list, I lost my temper. For the first time since we’d met I ordered her to get. Months of biting back annoyance and remaining calm despite her attempts to annoy me all came gushing out. I tore into her about it all, the bill was just one more thing to remind me of all I’ve had to put up with; it was the cherry on top of the mess. In an act of desperation, afraid of losing me perhaps but halfway up the hill she was able to finally return those words to me. In the situation it felt more like an insult than a confession, as if those words would sway me after keeping me in the dark for so long. We met up later, after I had cooled down. I’ve never felt guiltier about something I have said in my entire life. Even if they did ring slightly of truth, it never have been said, much less directed towards a loved one. We have made up and apologized, but it will be a while before anything returns to normal; the new normal at least, I doubt it can be the same as it was. Trust is like a bone, it can be broken and shattered into a hundred pieces, but with enough effort those pieces can still be put back into place and healed. It may bear flaws compared to the once perfect piece but it can still work just as well as it once did. The flaws remind us of previous mistakes, they are something to learn from. T’suro has nearly died three times in the past month alone. The first time I understand, as he threw the first blow against Khorvis and broke the old orc’s tusk. After that he was left to the mercy of Baalthemar and Nathandiel, an oxymoron now that I think about it. He was saved by the timely intervention of his fellow Sanctuary members but they couldn’t protect him from the next attempt. Looking back over the evidence, I’m beginning to doubt my original assumption of it being a curse. A wound was somehow inflicted upon his chest, like a stab wound yet it never pierced his armor, it reminded me of the worst voodoo dolls that my master used to make. T’suro was saved the first time by the several Sin’dorei disrupting the flow of magic around him, and then by the sloppy tactics of his would be assassin when they left the doll WITH the victim. Although in doing so they prevented the same trick from disrupting the link. Nothing is more unnerving than a twisted soul capable of learning from their past mistakes. Yet at the same time, while they learned from one, they made another. To have slipped the doll onto T’suro’s person like that would require them to physically be there at the bar when it happened. This narrows the list of suspects down considerably, even more so when I remember the arguments of that night. I lack proof but soon enough they’ll strike again. I just hope that T’suro can survive another attempt. To top it all off, I tore a hole in the boat. I wanted silence so badly that I summoned an infernal. Landing in the middle of the boat would have punched a hole in the hull, but even clipping it tore open a new skylight for the galley. Somebody was bleeding out on my boat and as usual about half of the people either cheered for it or just got in the way to gawk. I wanted them all to shut up, and several of them to die in agony. For the momentary peace it brought me as they stared in stunned silence, it will cost me an arm and a foot to repair. I think I’ve hit my limit; I’m sick of the conflict between Grim and Sanctuary, sick of the constant arguing, and sick of the smug sense of superiority and self-righteousness. I am done with cults, I am done with causes, and I am done with this political bullshit. I’ve taken a break and I’m somewhere far away with Lilly. I’m not coming back for at least a week. The world itself would have to be ending before I even thought about stepping away. Vendetta List: Collector: Extortion of those in need by a goblin is common practice. This one however did not even have the decency to put it in writing. He’ll be writing his bills in blood sealing the letter with his own tears by the time I’m done with him. Naring: He’s been stepping on a lot of toes lately and throwing his weight around. Something that did not used to bother me. But it has gone from goofy to downright vindictive lately. If Vol’jin still puts any sort of trust in him he is apparently abusing it for his own purposes Assassin: This unknown hexer has attempted to kill T’suro twice now, each time it has been on my boat. The suspects are obvious, but what I lack is enough proof to give them a taste of their own medicine in clear conscience. I’m beginning to think their style of hex is greatly different from my own. Somehow they skip over requesting the Loa’s aid and just go straight for the target. Payback List: Soon to be filled Apology List: I’ll apologize when they do Silver Lining: Lilliana: We are working things out
  25. Missteps

    By the time he had finished the letter Tahzani could barely keep his eyes open. He blinked several times and slapped his own cheek hard enough to leave a handprint as he fought to stay awake and finish his reply to the strange letter he had found impaled to his ship's railing. His usually tidy room was now covered in open tomes and covered in parchment from where he had taken notes on articles of interest. Steamwheedle Business and Tax Law was a form of madness that would make even an Old God green with envy. Thousands upon thousands of tiny little laws and sublaws and clauses that could direct them in any direction and covered millions of different scenarios were packed into tiny print on the massive copies that totaled 4 books for standard law and many more for substandard and even regulations regarding questionable activity; only goblins would write down regulations for being a thief. It had been more than a day since he received the letter and less than a day since he and Lilliana had fought. He could still taste the acidic coppery tang of rising bile mixed with bleeding from his gums, his jaw ached from the near constant clenching and his face was numbed from the scowl he had worn all day. The anger and pain he had felt had been harnessed and used for the task at hand as he purchased and researched the dreaded laws that this goblin so eagerly threw in his face. He still had no idea why he had received the letter, Lilliana had been horrified that he had been told, it was supposed to be yet another secret she would keep from him. In a way, he felt gratitude towards this goblin. This greedy fool had given him the keys to gather information that was worth far more than the money he was demanding; with one letter, this man had forced Lilliana to open up and talk normally, something that no amount of gifts, favors, and shows of trust had unlocked. If he had been in his right mind, he may have even felt bad for him, but it was the little one's fault that things had deteriorated so rapidly. His selfish actions had shattered the peaceful illusions Tahzani held, and for that, Tahzani would reward him with equal aggravation. The letter seemed to be in order or at least made sense to him, yet it was obscure enough that the collector would be forced to look it up as he had and then dig further to come up with a counterpoint. The one thing that goblins never expected was that another race would look into their laws. The painfully dense books acted as a deterrent that would allow most collectors to make claims that most people would pay just to avoid reading them. But Tahzani was used to pain, used to frustration, and right then he wanted at least one other person in the world to be as angry as he was; why not some cocky extortionist? Tahzani cursed as he stepped away from his boat and into the light of the afternoon sun. The dim light of his cabin interior made the blazing sun painful to his eyes as he hurried away from the docks to the dry land beyond. He removed the original letter that the goblin had sent him and tore it partially down the middle to signal the collector's elemental. His letter had been rolled into a scroll and sealed with wax pressed with the Coldstar Merchant Company's crest. It was his counterblow to the sucker punch thrown by the self-entitled greenskin. He had refuted every claim and countered with any loophole, clause, and thin argument he could find. Some laws would not even be found in books, it would require him to contact outside parties to check Tahzani's facts. If this collector was experienced, he held little doubt that he'd find a way to work around it all, but even if he did, it would force the goblin's face into the dreaded books and buy the trolls time. Nothing was more painful than forcing a goblin to wait even longer for money it could practically taste. The earth elemental rose in a rolling cloud of dust before him and held out a hand expectantly. It snatched the letter from Tahzani's hands and turned to disappear back into the ground, if it was surprised by the light load it was returning to its master, it did not show it. Tahzani let out a bitter, mirthless chuckle as he slogged back towards the boat, he needed sleep, the Cantina would open in a few hours. Dear Party B, As you have given me no name with which to respond to you I shall continue to refer to you by the title you have chosen until we are formally introduced. I regret to inform you that due to the unprofessional, poorly edited, and vague nature of your letter that you will not receive payment until certain requirements are met. I will be arguing the case of Party B’s service to Party A and the outstanding debt in the incident of “General” Naring versus Ms. Bloodshine. While your claim of a vocal contract is valid under Steamwheedle Sublaw #192 your actions would be qualified as an act of vigilante justice or heroism. Under Steamwheedle Sublaw #2009 the act of heroism or vigilante action in the defense of another requires a written contract for reparation to be given in the form of currency, luxuries, and various property. There is also the issue of your violation of Steamwheedle Sublaw #2009 under clause A that requires a name to be valid for the purposes of merchandising. Given Ms. Bloodshine’s actions were purely defensive and not actively causing harm to “General” Naring when the incident occurred she would be considered a non-combatant, civilian, or Damsel in distress under Steamwheedle Sublaw #1204 Clause C which states that in the event of an outside party intervening due to a perceived vocal contract they are entitled to a reward at the discretion of the rescued damsel. Such a reward is to be determined by the saved, not the savior. As stated above, the validity of your claim is in question. The vocal contract you believe to have had made is in regards to aid given in a time of need for saving property in conflicted zones in Azeroth or for aiding militant individuals in times of combat akin to mercenary work. In the case of a damsel in distress, you are attempting to enforce a contract that has no legal standing. The content of your bill is also unprofessionally written and vague enough to call into question the validity of your charges. As stated above, the vocal contract may have no ground to stand upon given the actions of Ms. Bloodshine. Issues taken with your charges are as follows 1. Both your intervention cost and penalty for the violation of your agreement would be stricken from the bill. Given Steamwheedle Sublaw #2009. 2. You failed to mention the specific devices/fuels used, which calls your methods into question as throwing a rock or shooting a spitball into an enemy’s ear would not be worth one hundred fifty gold pieces even if done so by a professional. In addition, you had a vocal agreement with Ms. Bloodshine that she would not be charged for the use of (1) lock pick. 3. Your roaming charges are not applicable as you were in the vicinity when you were needed and not required to move or travel to a destination to perform your requested service. 4. Your hazard pay will be applicable if and only if the vocal contract has legal grounds, otherwise the hazards you faced fall under Steamwheedle sublaw #26, a.k.a. the ‘Wrong place, wrong time’ act. 5. We fail to recognize what a ‘Legal-class Purgery’ is in regards to your actions against Orgrimmar’s guards and why it would be so costly. In the case of a Legal-class Perjury vs. Orgrimmar’s guards this cost is only valid based on the assumption that Ms. Bloodshine contracted you for legal expertise as well. Given that your perceived contract was only for the rescue service, the cost of your actions against Orgrimmar’s guards fall under a business cost that you as contractors are required to pay, not Ms. Bloodshine. Next, there is the concern for the many labor laws and unions that you violated when using your personal mail carrier for business purposes under the Steamwheedle Cartel's name. Violations include the following. 1. Using an earth elemental as a personal message carrier for business in violation of Elemental labor laws set forth by the Earthen Ring. 2. Violating the Steamwheedle Postal service union by not using one of their approved runners for the delivery of your business mail. 3. Violating the Steamwheedle Cartel’s requirements for backroom business deals and shakedowns. As you have not provided me with a name, a business, or even a face to recognize you by and have requested payment under the threat of further legal or unpleasant sanctions this bill delivery falls under Cartel Underbelly Sublaw #1 which states that in the event of a shakedown or threat in regards to collecting debts owed, the owed party is required to leave no paper trail. You may correct this violation by providing me with an appropriate title or address for further contact purposes. Finally, there is the small matter of damage to my ship. Your messenger purposefully penetrated the railing to deliver this message when slipping the envelope under the door of my residence would have been perfectly acceptable/preferable. The mark is both noticeable and given the area in which the boat resides, a potential hazard as the moisture of the area may cause rot and damage to the railings integrity, leading to a safety hazard. As such, it must be replaced and given that it was your actions that caused this damage, I expect you to cover its replacement. Payment for damages is listed below. 1. Oak planks: 30 gold 2. PTI wood preservative and Wax stabilizer: 50 gold 3. Labor and installation: 200 gold. Total cost: 280 gold This bill is to be paid in full within several days or face legal or unpleasant sanctions. I await your response as I believe a settlement can be reached without further need for these letters. If you have any more evidence to protect your claim and refute my defense in the case of Ms. Bloodshine, you may contact me at Dock #2, Bladefist Bay, Durotar. If you wish to meet in person, that is also acceptable. Sincerely, Tahzani Tallfisher