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Garinth

Garinth's Journal

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The journal itself is a well worn and weather beaten affair, bound in rugged clefthoof hide.  Journal entries are interspersed with pressed herbs and flowers, accompanied by descriptions of alchemical and medicinal usage.  The inside cover has a message of some sort, though its script is barely legible in comparison to that of the rest the journal's pages.  The only thing easily discerned is the signature which reads 'Marg'.

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There was a strange conversation last night over the Sanctuary's hearthstone network.  Strange not in the context of the guild's general demeanor but within the purview of my experience.  It stemmed from Shokkra's referral to myself as a half-breed.  Now, to be fair to those defending me she has told me previously that if I'd been born Warsong that I would have been killed at birth for my weakness, and that the clan would never accept me into its ranks as the Frostwolf have.  The veracity of these statements I've no interest in debating, but it at least informs some of the reason for the quick defense that was raised around me.

It was a comfort of sorts that it happened, but unnecessary.  The opinions I have of myself are firmly entrenched, and one warrior's quick and common opinion will not alter them.  The reason why I bring this up was a brief aside that happened after the exchange.  A friend spoke to me in private, misunderstanding my ignoring the attempted insult.  The fact that I am a half-breed is not a debate.  I am not, and will never be a full blooded orc.  That does not however make me less of a member of the Frostwolf Clan, or less a member of the Horde, or of Sanctuary for that matter.  It certainly has no bearing on my abilities and skill as a shaman.  It perhaps lends itself to the latter now through the budding connection I have to my ancestors, but they have already accepted what I am and what I have made myself.  Thusly, Shokkra's judgment even at face value means little.  It does not and will not interfere with my duties.

The fundamental issue, I believe, is a misunderstanding of Shokkra herself.  She is proud of her blood, and all that it represents.  The strength of the Warsong and what Garrosh was able to accomplish with their might was impressive, regardless of the attitudes that came with it.  There is an image there that she has found comfort in, but it is not the whole picture.  She has shown that she respects those she believes deserves it, as seen in how she reacts to the Marshal or Commander.  Likewise, she has shown that she cares about her comrades regardless of how she might treat them at face value.  There was a glimmer of it during the invasions, when Atal'shi returned to the guildhall fel poisoned and bleeding out.  So great was her concern, I was almost concerned Shokkra might hurt someone else just trying to get aid for the hakkari.  I thought, at the time, that the two were close companions because of it.  But subsequent experience leads me to the belief that such a conclusion would be false.  She seems to treat Atal'shi no different than the rest.

Most importantly, I think our officers are aware of this duality as they've certainly served together long enough to have seen the glimpses.  I'm not sure about any of the other members, but it's not my place to speak about it and I'm sure she has her reasons.  In the end, I will either earn the respect through deed or I won't.  Perhaps, with a little luck, the nickname will be used with the same tone the comrades former unit, and the members of my clan do.  It is, after all, what I am.

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A half dozen short entries are logged between the first major one and this, mostly detailing brief struggles on the Isles and the outcomes of alchemical experiments.  None have any real substance to them.

 

The Maelstrom is still difficult to sleep near.  The constant roar echoes through the caves and fills the air with noise.   Likewise, the sporadic rumbling from the earth elementals makes things rather difficult to cope with.  It was only after one of the draenei offered me a set of ear plugs that I was really able to get some rest.  That was two nights ago.  I still haven't returned to the guildhouse, and I'm not sure when I'll actually swing back by.  For a while it was starting to feel like home, but I'm not sure at the moment.  I know for certain it's not safe there.  Between whatever our issues are with staff and the Nightmare corruption, I don't particularly want to spend any more time there than I have to.

For now at least, that's keeping Marg relatively happy.  Since I had the first vision he didn't want me to leave the Maelstrom, thinks the ability is too valuable to risk even if I can't interpret any of them.  He doesn't say it, but I know he doesn't approve of the shift I've made in my focus or the fact that I've rejoined Sanctuary.  The way he talks I think he believes that both with wind up putting me in over my head.  With the first, I suppose it's a fair criticism.  I didn't tell him about the second vision I had.  About what happened to the girl, or my arm.  I'm fairly certain that if I told him about the incident or Vadok I'm pretty sure I'd be kept here regardless of what I want.

If I'm honest, the offer is starting to grow tempting.  I wouldn't have to deal with the constant burns from arcane magic, or stitching myself back together on a daily basis.  Likewise, spending more time here at the Maelstrom makes it feel more comfortable.  The politics don't seem to stretch out here in the grander scheme, though there is still a fair share of people acting foolish.  The younger acolytes can be rather irritating and short sighted, but neither of those things are surprising when you're not even twenty yet.  Regardless, now that the elementals have agreed to cooperate with the Earthen Ring, it's actually gotten a little more relaxed.  There's a confidence now that wasn't present before.

I wish I could say that extended to my concerns about Sanctuary.  It feels like other than the Commander and Ariavan, no one is even interested in the fact that we have Nightmare fueled corruption leaking in and infecting our members.  Maybe it's just that no one has actually had something serious happen yet, but I'm not sure.  If the corruption can be found, then at least we can prevent anyone else being affected.  Alternatively, if a way to purge it could be found then we could more calmly look for the source.  I'm not sure which is the better course, but it's nothing I can tackle on my own.  I haven't been around enough to know where to look in the first case, and I'd need a few other healers to try the latter.  For now, I'll just wait on Juli to let me know when Borrowed Time's support is coming by.  Maybe they'll have some information I haven't been able to dig up.

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A sheet of loose paper is folded up and placed inside the journal.  The script is more difficult to read, seeming more like rough notes than an actual journal entry.

Experiment has failed, miserably.  Elemental water was enough of an improvement to abate symptoms temporarily, but the corruption had already gained some manner of physical form and sentience.  It left the creature through the eye socket, and burrowed into my forearm before I could contain it in the water or otherwise protect myself.  I was able to stop it's progress with a sealing fire rune, and at least kept it from moving into my chest.  In retaliation, it appears to have just about destroyed my wrist, and then turned solid around the damage.  If it can be removed, perhaps with significant magical healing and therapy I may gain use of it again.

While attempting to get up however, I fell unconscious from the pain.  Apparently even in this dormant form it can exert its influence on the dreams of others.  I suffered rather graphic nightmares afterwards, all of which reminded me of time spent in the Nightmare.  The information is not helpful, as without some other form of magic to remove it and some form of containment I believe amputation and disposal by incineration may be the only solution.  Likewise, nothing should be extrapolated from the work with the rabbit, as the creature was wholly corrupted already.  None in the guild show similar symptoms, but care should be taken.

If this is found before I wake, then I would advise against moving me unless a solution has been found.  The trance should last a few days, during which time I should be fine. Not to mention, the lab should function well enough for quarantine. Whatever you do, do not touch my arm without some sort of fail safe to protect yourself should the corruption reawaken for whatever reason. Under no circumstances should anyone sleep near me either.  It is unclear how far the psychic reach extends, and it is not worth the risk.

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Much has happened since my last entry.  The ultimate conclusions are that I'm neither truly a part of either the Earthen Ring or of Sanctuary, but I am doing what I can to mend things.  I had managed, briefly, to be able to find the time to speak with Julilee about the incidents of the Nightmare.  Marg's suggestion that I document my work, and hand copies off to both Sanctuary and the Cenarions helped push that to fruition.  The effort was useful, but was in no way enjoyable.  I discovered that Kex'ti was dead during my meeting with the Commander, and then spent the better part of a day being grilled about my choices dealing with the Nightmare.  Trying to explain that I had not, in fact, resurrected one of their druids wasn't a difficult sell, but that he had never truly been dead certainly proved to be.

The real trouble came after.  In between my meeting with the Commander and the Cenarion Circle, apparently Sanctuary was assaulted again.  Again, the incident took place from within, and from a source that I had pointed out.  The Infirmary was just about destroyed, again, and almost all of the medical staff were lost as a result of the attack.  The culprit proved to be Shokkra's brother, who had been masquerading as a nurse.  Despite my protests about his behavior previously, both Kex'ti and Baern did not see enough reason to remove him.

News of this, of course, returned to Marg and Eadra, the healer who had been working with me on my arm.  When I made my way back to the Maelstrom, the conversation went about as well as anyone should expect.  Despite my protests about Sanctuary's ideals and the people within it who I believe follow them, I could convince neither that the leadership of the guild has the member's best interests at heart.  Shokkra, almost certainly does not.  Despite the sympathy I have for whatever complex life she has lived, she is not fit for leadership.  I can say little of Baern, save for his mistakes cost the lives of at least six of our members, and I fear Juli too distracted with the loss of Kex'ti and having to navigate the guild's external relations.  Cerryan, last I heard has not been seen for months, nor has his mate.

Despite these facts, I chose not to renounce my affiliation.  For it, Eadra refuses to work with or speak to me and Marg will only respond through written correspondence.  Even this small gain was only achieved by finding a place of my own in Orgrimmar.  It is small, and not particularly comfortable, but it is my own.  At the moment though, I'm staying at the tavern in Dragon Roost Port.  Juli recruited me to help deal with a problem Borrowed Time has, and I've no intention to leave until it's done.  As always, I will go where I am needed.  I just need to remember once this is over with, to get in touch with people to let them know I'm still around.  

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