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Nikaa

Shaelie's Journal

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Nikaa    24

I have to start a new journal, since my other one got left behind.

So much has happened in such a short amount of time. My whole life has basically changed completely. But I'm doing alright. Surprisingly- I'm doing just fine.

I am no longer Grim. I think the hardest part of that whole night and the days that followed was the look on Khorvis's face. I saw Ashenfury in those eyes. That was really hard to handle.

I was angry at him at first. But not anymore. I understand. And he acted in the moment, and did what he felt like needed to be done. He was shocked. Angry, hurt, betrayed.

Disappointed..

I have a lot of messes to clean up. I've been spending some time explaining myself to people. Most of them are accepting. Quite a few are still my friends. Some I think are trying to decide.

Graysong is struggling. It makes me sad to see him not acting his typical silly self. He's kind of lost, right now. We sat and talked for awhile last night. His faith in The Grim was shaken.

I told him that when you're Grim, you live and die by the Mandate. It's supposed to come before anything else i the world. Friendships, relationship, love. All of that is secondary, at best. And sometimes, that means you have to make difficult choices. Which is what Khorvis had to do.

That's where I was struggling, too. The Mandate came second to me. The members of the guild came first. It can't really be that way, though. It's not about family. We're supposed to be soldiers of the Mandate.

I wanted to tell him to come to Borrowed Time. I'd love to see some of my closer friends come and live at the base. That's what the selfish side of me wants. But instead, I told him that he needs to follow his gut. I told him to ask himself which is more important. Can he put the Mandate ahead of everything else? If there anything he wouldn't do for the Mandate?

He still seemed uncertain, so I suggested he go talk to Awatu. There's really no better person to define The Grim and the Mandate than the Commander himself. I hope he does. I think that'll help him make up his mind, one way or another.

A lot of other things have happened. They all know I'm Nika, apparently. Including Leyu'jin. He was at Cantina last night, and I couldn't really look him in the eye. But later in the evening, he told me we should talk sometime so I can explain how all of this happened. He didn't seem angry. I hope he and I can be friends. I've always cared a lot for Leyu'jin.

And then there's Karthok. Fucking Karthok. I got this in the mail today.

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It seems he's threatening more than just myself, now. The first one is Inzema, without a doubt. And I'm pretty sure the second is Nero.

Inzema and Nero. That's a whole other story. But I digress.

Anyway. I think the Chief might be Cobrak. But I haven't figured out the Secretary or the Siege yet. I already let Inzema and Lilliana know. I need to talk to Nero tonight. And the rest of Borrowed Time.

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Nikaa    24

The final two letters have been written and mailed off. Khorvis and Awatu were the last two I owed an apology and explanation to. I actually saw Khorvis at Nanori and Selash's wedding the other night, and I was tempted to apologize to him in person. But it was a night of celebration, and I didn't want to dampen the evening with such things. I'm sure I could find him in Warspear, but I think if I tried to approach him, he'd probably be too busy bellowing at me to hear my words. So maybe he'll read them. I hope he does.

The letter to Awatu was even more difficult to write. We were not close by any stretch of the imagination, so we didn't have the same sort of personal connection Khorvis and I did. Not that Khorvis and I were friends, exactly. But I liked Khorvis. Even if I didn't agree with him many times, I still enjoyed him.

I didn't like Awatu. That isn't to say I disliked him. It wasn't that. But Awatu was a leader I feared and respected. He gave orders, I followed them. I think the most personal thing we may have ever shared was a nod.

So his letter was much more complicated. I explained that I was sorry for deceiving him, but I didn't really regret doing it. Does that count as an apology? I'm not sure. But I didn't deceive him because I wanted to. It wasn't for my entertainment or amusement. It wasn't some joke to me. It was because I had to. Because there was nothing more important in the world to me than being Grim. I still felt like I needed to address it with him though, so I did.

I don't expect him to accept my apology, but I still owed it to him.

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Nikaa    24

Heard from Gunheya that Dalaran has moved from Northrend and is now hovering over Kharazan. I've spent the last couple of days here documenting everything and getting pictures. 

Some areas of the city are heavily damaged. I'm not sure what from.. it doesn't seem like it was structural damage from moving the city because the building are fine, including the towers. Just small, targeted areas like this, but nothing left behind to indicate what happened. 

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All entrances to the Underbelly have been sealed. I find this strange because nothing else is boarded up- the shops are closed for business but not barricaded. I tried looking for the sewer pipe entrance from the outside but I couldn't find it anywhere. I must have overlooked it somehow. 

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There's an art gallery by the toy store.. has it always been there? I don't remember ever seeing it, and it looks new. They must have opened shortly before the move. 

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This is definitely new - it's replaced the area where the open courtyard and fountain used to be in the middle of the city. They've turned it into a building, but there's not much in there right now. It's pretty, though. 

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The bank on the Alliance side of the city had.. problems. All the gold from the personal vaults and safety deposit boxes got dumped into the middle of the room, and some of the citizens are having a fit. They're not allowing any deposits or withdrawals until they get everything put back, and have guards on hand to make sure no one tries to rob them. The bank on the horde side of the city is fine.

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Very heavy damage at Kraus's Landing. No flights are going in or out of Dalaran right now. 

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Whatever magic they used to move the city, it had some other side effects with people stuck in walls.. Recovery specialists are on the scene getting them out. 

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For some reason, there's a blight wagon outside the Filthy Animal.. 

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Speaking of Filthy Animal, it's closed for business but they do have the kitchen running and they're serving food for residents and workers only. 

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Since we completely destroyed Legerdemain's Lounge when we were fighting that dreadlord recently, they apparently gave it a huge remodel. It looks a lot nicer now. 

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This is one thing I found really strange, though.. the Forge looks like it's been vacant for a long time. Even before the move.. it's the only business that appeared to be completely closed and empty. 

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Strangest of all, though.. I'm not sure Dalaran is finished moving. I haven't heard this rumor from many people- only two mentioned it. But someone said something about, 'when we get to our final destination', and another guy mentioned wondering if they were going to suddenly move again. So the location above Kharazan might only be temporary.. that also might be why they aren't opening up the shops yet, and everyone still seems so on edge.

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