Pai

[H] Horde Bachelorette Auction Spectacular!

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Once again the street are lined with posters and fliers, some lining along similarly-decorated adverts for love-seeking. Some people grunt as a flurry of paper harries into people's faces. All say bear the same fruity font and girlish accents, along with buxom decorations of women posing.

Brought to you by the madmen and women of the Borrowed Time Mercenary Company...again!

Comes a wonderful event for you lonely men!

That's right, its the Horde Bachelorette Auction Spectacular!

Only the most lovely and demure await to ferry you away on an all inclusive date of your choice!

All you need to do, is buy their time! Bid away for the lady of your dreams on the stage!

But don't go too ahead, its just a night out for you you're buying!...Anything else that comes after is free and off the bids~

So fly your way to the Purple Parlor, at 7 o'clock of the goblin clock on the 26th

To grab yourself a piece of eye candy to make your dudebros green with envy!

90% of the proceeds go towards our boys in the military! Fighting to keep the Alliance scum off our land!

-Beneath the sheet is a series of empty space, with a header at the top.-

Wanna see if you bring in some coin? Maybe meet that special guy? Or just wanna show off your stuff?

Then sign up today, girls! Your host, Paiyuna, will contact you with further information!

<3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

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*Naring strolls up to the flyer and searches around carefully for others. He then adds Syrenna's name to the list in a sloppy style. Then takes a flyer for himself and strolls off*

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*Lilliana found out that Syreena had been a sneaky little bugger, having signed her up the evening before. Well then, why can't Lilly have a bit of fun? She looks over the current list of names, and then in a very delicate script she adds the name:

"Kogrona Gron"

That rogue has given her enough trouble when she's tried to spend any time with Tahzani, including throwing a table at his face. This will show her.*

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Rules of the Auction:

1) Bidding starts at 100g and works up from there!

2) Auctionees can bid on each other, but cannot be bought from the auctionee who has bought them! For example, Auctionee A wins the bid on Aunctionee B, this means, when Auctionee A is up for bidding, Auctioneer B CANNOT post a bid on them.

3) Auctionees will receive 1/3 of the gold used to buy their time, Pai receives a small cut, and the rest goes to donation to the Horde military ((OOC wise, the rest will be stored within Borrowed Time guild vault to host more events in the future!))

4) The highest bidder during the auction will receive a special gift for both them and their auctionee!

5) Auctionees must be returned in the condition they were before the date starts!

6) Any form of violence against Horde members during the auction is grounds for IMMEDIATE removal and punishment...so play nice or we beat you up.

7) An auctionee retains the right to be able to veto a date locale that they feel unsafe in.

8) Buying an auctionee does not entitle sexual favors, that is up to the bidder and auctionee freely. Related note, condoms are available on request!

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Filora sees the flyer and snorts incredulously. It can't be this easy, can it? She thinks for awhile, then chooses a name to sign up.

Shaelie Brightwing

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Ruuki snorts as she sees the flyer, grabbing a pencil from her gauntlet to add in careful yet heavy pressed Orcish.

Daisha Redpaw

She smirked as she tucked the pencil back into her gauntlet and strolled away. Oh yes, this would work well as vengeance on the little drunken Priestess.

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Rekkit marches past with his platoon of grunts, "MOVE IT MAGGOTS! THIMPSON! KEEP UP!" He roars at an orc who lags behind.

The young orc cries out in despair, "Korrog! My name is Korrog, sir!"

The goblin drill sergeant watches them pass by, huffing before he turns to spy a poster. He looks it over before grunting, "Aha! Perfect for Razz to find a suitable husband and produce the next line of soldiers for the Horde!"

He takes out his pen and writes in blocky, scraggly script.

-Razz Blastwhizzle-

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Umathyor pushes a nail through a note and into the oaken message totem. As he adjusts the parchment for square, he spy's another poster. Uma blushes slightly at the thought the words bring to mind, then looks quickly over his shoulder to be sure no one noticed. He glances again and then walks away. After a few steps the large Bull stops and watches a cloud float over the Bluff. It's shape reminds him of a peacebloom as it drifts off towards the Barrens. With a sigh, Uma turns around, walks back to the totem and takes a copy of the poster. "I like Flowers".

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((Yay more tauren! /wave at Umathyor))

Kerala glanced at the poster, frowning. She'd already put the odd auction of people that had occurred at the faire behind her in the past, but she'd never really considered that they had all been male up on the stage. Apparently, now there would be something similar for females. At least, reading the poster, she now knew what the whole thing had been about.

The skinny druid woman shook her head, sending messy curls flopping side to side. She wanted no part of that.

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Aziris took her shipment of vials from the mailbox happily- she'd been expecting them for days now, and she had different potions to brew and store, including a new batch for Lupinum. She paused as she usually did when passing the post board, browsing the various attached announcements. Her golden eyes became brighter upon finding the flowery script, and she read it twice.

"Oh my, that will be interesting to see." she murmured. Then, she thought of Lomani, and of the marvelously intricate union cloak the tauren had just finished for herself, never expecting to ever need. A grin grew on her lips. Love WAS in the air, wasn't it? What was a good friend to do, but play matchmaker for an unsuspecting girl if that girl wouldn't go out on her own to meet people? Of course, Azi had to do this.

The forsaken set her crate of vials down and dug out the pen from her notebook. She shook the ink down to the nib and carefully added a name to the roster.

Lomani Greydawn

As she finished, she became aware of a presence behind her. Nervous that she was caught with the pen out, she glanced back. She was being watched, and the expression was expectant. They hadn't seen her add the name, and wanted her to write hers so they could step up to read, or maybe add another.

Azi sighed and put pen to paper again.

Aziris Faithshade.

Later, around the fire working on various projects, she randomly announced to the tauren seer and seamstress, "Lomani, I need you to alter a dress for me. Oh! You could make one to match! It will be fun!"

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Nathandiel moved through the market, selecting ripe fruits and premium meats for the meal he intended to make for Drinn. While paying for the wine, he spots a poster and squints.

Boobs. There were pictures of curvaceous women framing the text that formed the core of poster.

He paid for his fare and went to read the posting more closely.

". . .women for sale." he murmured thoughtfully.

He took note of the time and date. Drinn would want to buy one, maybe they could share. A pretty girl would make a lovely reunion present for them both.

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Anina only approached the board and the sheet advertising this auction when it was deserted... and possibly not being watched by anyone? She kept her head down as she pondered. She could meet people, maybe? She wasn't interested in finding a suitor, though maybe... no! She was only stalling for time, and quickly realized it. She scrawled her name and left in a hurry as her cheeks burned.

Anina Lorrell

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The little red serpent shifted and re-settled itself around Jivah's neck while she stroked her chin in consideration. Her other hand was busy holding the poor goblin inches from the board while he stammered out the words on the advertisement.

"Be about dat time again, mm." The snake tightened its coils in response - an affirmation, or perhaps a warning.

Jivah let the goblin go and pulled a long shaft of bone from her hair. Today, it was bright orange, done up in knots with quills and bone and twigs stuck through them. The shaman used the sharper end of the bone pin to scratch her name on the parchment.

"IEEEWWH"

She frowned. "Nah, dat don' look right at all." Scratching it out, she tried again.

"JEEWAH"

Scratchscratchscratch.

"JEEVAH"

The troll shoved the bone pin back into her hair. "Close enough." The serpent flicked its tongue in response as Jivah strolled away.

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A few new rules have been added!

1) Due to the number of women, an auction has a maximum time of 10 mins after it begins, the last bid to be accepted when the timer is up will win.

2) A bid can be increased by a maximum of 500g, and a minimum of 50g.

Attention all! We have exactly 20 participants in this affair and the sign up period is closed.

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Aaaah you're the worst!

Though I'm a little salty about the max bid limits because I can't just egregiously throw my wealth around at someone I want to win (Looking at you, Shaelie) but I also understand that it's for that exact reason that the limits exist, and respect that!

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