All About My Mother

[Yenene]

'Your mother is a whore.'

Tell me something I don't know already. Please. I ask of you. Tell me something new that I don't already tell everyone else. Tell me something about my mother that gives her an iota of feeling and changes her from the monster I know to the monster I'll love. Tell me. Please.

I had to take a break from whittling the last of my totems and decided to purchase this book from the Applecary here in Crossroads. There's only a few pages marked in the middle and back with alke mikal formulas that I don't understand and he claims are harmless.

Xelxa and Vashni are world travelers now! We've all been to Shattrath and seen the glowy bits and I took a nip out of a draenei in the Aldor Rise when I was a ghost wolf. Luckily he doesn't recognise me because well... most of us look alike and I doubt non-shamans can distinguish the markings of one to another.

As for the totem. I don't know what bird is coming out. The other three were easy. When I carved the one for earth, I saw the puppy dog ears stick out long before I knew it was going to be my earth totem. And after I drank the sapta, he was imbued with the power of earth so I can call totems forth from the little idol. He's pretty cute. If I can be egotistical and proud of my own work.

The fire. Well that was a bit more difficult. I had a lump of wood for awhile, carving at it and carving at it. At first I thought it would be a dragon, but I haven't ever seen a dragon so I don't really know what it'd look like. Mom never let us go sneak with the other kids to spy on the dragonkin, so. You'd think that since she was too busy sleeping with every breathing creature within the radius of the town and even so far as Aerie Peak she wouldn't have noticed if we snuck out to spy on dragonkin. She knew though. Fire totem! I carved and carved and after awhile it formed a snake. I don't really know why snakes and fire go together. I've never seen a fire-breathing snake. But that's what the wood said. And that's what I did. She's kinda scary looking.

For the water totem, I saw the block of wood while I was in Silverpine. A nice piece of driftwood. Beautiful rings to it. It had to be round. It was born round. And while I tried to figure out what in the hahahas to do - I had not drank the sapta cause I forgot about it so I sat there for like ever trying to see elementals that just weren't showing up - it came. I think the turtle was the fastest idol to carve. I like his smile. It's cheeky. Like me. That's all weird cause I don't like water much and it was the easiest idol to carve.

So this idol. This thing I carve and it's kinda sitting on the ground oh actually it's kinda face in the dirt oops I better fix that and show some due respect. You know. It will be the way I call the air elements and I better show it some respect. I wouldn't want to be carved face down in the dirt.

Speaking of dirt. Mom is a dirty whore. That's right. I said it in my own journal. Mom is a dirty whore. I bet she's in Revantusk right now, screwing every visitor that comes. Even goblins. I shudder to think about that.

I accidentally told Vashni about the time that mom slept with the night elf and then served him for breakfast. I really didn't have the heart to eat anything after hearing him make such weird sounds the night before. Who knew a night elf could shriek like a girl?

Then she accidentally told me that mom isn't choicy about whether she mates with males or females. That explains why my friend Mokee and her were always giving eachother the eye. I thought it was cause Mokee thought mom was a tramp too. But clearly, not. No wait. She clearly did. That explains everything.

I think I'm the most vocal about it. Xelxa doesn't seem to care either way as she is too interested in fiddling with her explosive sheeps and things. I don't think she sees much through those goggles as she tends to run into things when Korrin is protecting us.

KORRIN! Oh!

A cute, rough little drawing of a green troll face with a little explosion behind the head.

I remember when we first met him. Oh! He's so dreamy! We were in Crossroads, not far from where I'm writing and I think I'll go outside to sit where we were waiting for Jakana cause Jakana is always slow and lazy and she is the prettiest of us so of course she takes forever to get anywhere. Spiritual was off doing whatever he does and why he always wants to be called that? I dunno. Jakana is even prettier than Vashni, but don't tell Vashni that cause she'd be furious and probably smite me or something. Ha! A journal being able to tell my sister anything.

I think I better buy a lock.

But Korrin! Back to Korrin! This wolf came up slowly from behind us then sat for a bit and watched us. I, being a bit stupid at times, I know! I know! Well I reached out and petted him but he seemed playful and so wow was I surprised when he turned into this big, tall, kinda lanky handsome cute oh wow troll. I love his hair. Yeah man.

So he sat with us a bit and we all talked around the fire, but then this fire elemental came and totally exploded in our faces. I was only mildly singed. Xelxa was kinda pissed because I think it melted her goggles, that's okay though cause Xelxa is always pissed. Vashni got covered in soot. And Korrin was really sorry. It turns out that he and his fire elemental don't get along. At all. I can kinda understand that. I don't like water much. I hate eating turtle soup and really don't like turtles.

And ever since he's been a part of our lives. Little hearts

I will kill Vashni if she gets to be with him!!!!!!!!!!!

I will fall in love and unlike my mother I will not mate with everything that breathes and leave five hundred kids all over the world.

Speaking of kids. We met Vesker who I think is mom's son. The one she left with the Darkspear. He's a seamstress...er... tailor? He makes dresses and designs fashions. Oh no! I forgot the term he said for himself. Something to do with feathers. Feather hearted? Feather fallen? Oh crap I'll ask him the next time I see him.

I knew he was my brother because I felt a tug. Something that Korrin was talking about. Opening myself up to the elements and all that. The tug that was the deep drumming of earth called me around him. I was in Silvermoon! Of all places! There was some excitement that night and the Civil Protection people were telling us not to gather in groups of five. But... he had it.

Turns out he's wearing the pendant that mom carved. I know it's hers. Unmistakenable. I can tell her carving anywhere because well... she taught me how to carve. It's the one thing she's done for me that hasn't embarrassed me. Stealing my first possible boyfriend was the biggest low.

This whole journey seems to be to pick up the pieces of my mother she left behind when she ran away to hide out in Revantusk. Also to give me a place outside of our shack near the water. A place in the world.

Korrin gifted all of us with dresses. They're beautiful. It even makes Xelxa look pretty, which is amazing cause she's not.

[Yenene]

It's a raven.

And also... I peed my pants jumping from the planks in the Thousand Needles. Never again. Open mind, my buttcheeks.

[Yenene]

Last night I went to the Rest Inn Peace and actually entered the door! The people in Brill told me it was a dive and they were so wrong! Mind you they also said there was Old Bat Pie and there wasn't.

I also went fishing in the Undercity. I don't understand why people think the Forsaken lands are ugly. Sure. They have pretty dismal weather. Sure. They keep creepy crawlies as pets. And maybe they don't have a big relationship with nature. So what?

They have cool undead cats!

I got one. I don't know what to name him. My new friend gave him to me cause I noticed his and well his kitty was so pretty even those it was necker ties, or whatever.

Also! Also! I went fishing with Korrin! Yay!

[Yenene]

I had a letter in the mail from mom asking me to send her back some money. At first I was excited to see that she had mailed me. It was months back apparently and she sent it to Sepoo Ker of all places only one of the fellow there remembered us and knew we spent time around the Crossroads because I bought this journal from his Applecary friend. Then it was in the Crossroads for a month or more and finally one of the runners took it down to Camp uhm whatsit. And I just got it. Three months later. Why she didn't send it Goblin Express, I don't know.

She claims that she's desert toots without us. Funny. I can tell a bunch of stories where I remember Xelxa having to steal food from our larder so she wouldn't feed her many consores (new word!). Or how Vashni used to dance for the tourists so they would throw her coin. Or how I used to have to gather pinecorns from the trees and sell them to the Reagent Vendor and how he used to stiff me on the silver. Jerk. Not to mention that Jakana often had to work for that jerk blacksmith and he would tell her horror stories that I'd have to tell her weren't real.

As if she is desert toots without us. Really.

A prime example of mama keeping us well fed. She went on this diet when she was turned down by a traveling troll. SHE said it was because the Loa told her to, but I heard from El down the way what really happend. It was only liquid foods. So since Vashni and Xelxa were older she thought they should go on it too. Only liquids. Mama got very drunk the first few days I know. Then I caught mama cheating on her diet while she made Vashni and Xelxa stay on it! I snuck them food from my buddy's house. It would have gone on a whole month, but we didn't tell mama that I was bringing them food from other houses. I don't think anyone told her. She would have been mad.

I hate my mother.

I have been traveling with Neckerties. He goes everywhere with me and is very docile. He only really moves when he's hungry for the carrion meat I was given to feed him. His little head wavers around and those empty eyesockets blink with his dried and dessy crated (new words!) skin. He won't get any bigger, which I think is the draw of all neckerties kitties. He fits nicely in my shoulder blades when I'm in ghost wolf form. I may have a leatherworking friend design a harness just so he doesn't slip.

Yesterday Mican and I were at the Inn and Deth was all drunk and weird, but it was a weird kind of drunk. He kept muttering things and passing out then being sober then passing out again. I mean, when mama was drunk she just got really angry and slept with people she said even she would never sleep with.

Well Mican took Deth's thingy that holds all his lickher. Deth disappeared like mages do and then Mican tried to blow up Deth's thingy. I think it was evil and dangerous. We talked about sending it to an Applecary, but when it didn't explode after Mican had piled it with a sky's full of boomers, he decided it was better to go back to Deth.

I took Neckerties to meet Xelxa and Vashni. Then Korrin took us to a land of undead pigs where I saw skeletons dancing and glowing blue death lights. Xelxa lost interest early which was too bad because there were some nice bits we looted that would have been better for her. She did take a skull head with horns. That was pretty freaky.

Vashni got a dress. She always gets dresses! And I got a nice belt and some shoulder armour.

Then Korrin and I took Vashni to the nest. Why there's a nest in the Pig Brambles! I don't know. But boy we were tired after all that. I'm sitting here on the big bramble, watching the sun come up. It was a busy day yesterday.

[Yenene]

((Please read my sister's work. She's an amazing writer! http://wow-tng.org/showthread.php?t=10110 ))

[Yenene]

It has been a really ugh couple of days. Why do I only write in here when I'm whining about something?

First off. Korrin's featherhearted or whatever like my brother Vesker. Not just that, but his lover is an orc named Krueg Skullsplitter in Feralas and he had the GALL to ask me if I wanted to collect faerie dragon wings to make Korrin some kind of namby pamby dress. I mean, a kilt is masculine, but this CRUEL JERK is asking me to collect for a dress. When he heard that I knew Korrin, he went on and on about how much he loved Korrin and how much they were meant to be together and were lifemates or whatever.

I'm so devastated!

Korrin's a male lover. Oh my! I'm so depressed. I ate an entire bucket of that icecream I got for the orphan and the orphan didn't want it.

Not just that but I think mama's dead. Vashni is all chipper and thinks that she's alive, somewhere. But I doubt it. She's dead. Dead. Dead. We came home to Revantusk because we'd been in Silvermoon and the people were so strange and I missed Revantusk so much. So me and Vashni rode there and we got off to find that people were ignoring us as though they didn't recognise us. Vashni said something about noticing a few huts missing. Then we ran to where our old hut was and it's gone. No sign of there ever having been one except for barren ground where it's clear the sun hadn't shone in awhile.

Nobody had any news of mama. I think she's like a bad dream to them anyway and we were a reminder of that bad dream. She's dead. Let's face it. She may be slutty, but there's no way mama could survive a raid.

Korrin likes dudes. My mama's dead.

I think I'm going to get drunk for the first time tonight.

[Chaindog]

((

hmm, Chaindog is also from Revantusk. Also note to the conversation lastnight, Chaindog is the bigot, not the person behind the keyboard :)

Good read by the way

))

[Korrin]

((also having my name is quest text that makes me seem I am hot for an orc is priceless))

[Yenene]

I just read over the other day's journal entry. I didn't go get drunk. I guess I can't even do that.

I did contact Korrin but I couldn't bring myself to asking whether he had a life-mate in Feralas. So instead I asked him to help me with my mom. He said to go back to the beginning and listen. So I went to the Valley of Trials and listened for long enough. I couldn't listen any longer.

It was boring.

Then he said to listen to the spirits. So I again listened to the spirits but they didn't say a damn thing. I even summoned a tremor totem, thinking that it would shake the spirits out of the group and still they did not say anything.

How can you listen to the spirits if they don't talk?

Oh and Chaindog thinks I should grab Korrin and mate with him like a proper Revantusk. She says I better do it or she will! Oh no! I'm too shy to do that. I hope she doesn't run into him first.

Well mama wasn't there anyhow. I am torn believing she is dead or she is alive and looking for us or alive and raided by the trolls in Jintha'lor.

Vashni thinks the last part. I don't know!

[Yenene]

It has been over ten days since I last heard word of my mother. I've been back to Revantusk to ask but they seem unconcerned about her disappearance. I can't help but think this is over the way she has treated others in her lifetime. Maybe it's because she has upset families and disrupted relationships. Maybe it's because she flaunts her sexuality in a way that even they find offensive.

The information I can glean is that she is not dead. Or was not dead when the raiders came and pulled her from the village.

Why do I even care? If mama was dead then all my pain and suffering would be over. Could I possibly love her even though she's been the reason that I have never known a father and the reason that I never slept soundly through the night like other kids?

Why did nobody take pity on us and adopt us? Why didn't she leave me with some Revantusk fellow like my other siblings?

I only seem to want her alive so I can ask her these questions. So I can summon the powers of fire and destroy her.

This isn't like me.

[Yenene]

Dustwallow Marsh just does wallow. While I was in Mudsprocket, this Draenei mage kept trying to kill me. She would hit me with a fireball and it would only just nearly knock me out, but then I'd get out of her sight and heal. It was like this for so long. Finally the guards killed her, but then I was just so frustrated.

Lucky for me Magi'jinn appeared! He killed her in like two frosty power shots. We chatted for a bit and he told me all sorts of neat things about other troll clans. I really didn't learn much at home it seems. There are so many trolls all over the world.

The Draenei left and he let me kill this paladin while he distracted the guards. We ran and ran and ran! He says I have long legs in wolf form. I think that's funny.

He is a Gurubashi troll and so he took me to the Gurubashi Arena. He and Mister Tecunuman were kind enough to let me take the chest from the Arena. It was exciting! This Forsaken rogue was pissed at me for it though, calling me all sorts of names. He looked a little flimsy to be there in the first place.

That was a great day. I barely thought about how mama is likely dead or sleeping with some Jintha hexer or whatever.

[Yenene]

I had a good cry. I really good one. I think I got these pages wet with my tears. They're really salty and I better lay off the turtle.

Another splotch. That was a big fat tear. It just dropped on the paper and I couldn't do anything about it. Oh I'm blubbering now. I can barely breathe and my heart feels like it's going to explode out of my chestpiece and splatter all over the wall of this tent. It doesn't help that the air is heavy from the night's rain here in Feralas and I can't sleep while these two tauren are having hot whatevers in the bunk down below.

Korrin doesn't love me.

I finally told him. I yelled it out. First he pretended not to hear because he was fighting dragons. Vashni was happy that I finally said something. But Korrin was being nice and ignoring me for my own benefit because clearly he didn't care about me at all.

I just wanted an answer. Another splotch. I will probably cry away all these words.

I blame my mother. I blame her for making me absolutely worthless to any decent troll out there. I blame her for making it so I don't want to be with these stupid trolls that paw all over you and try to do you up the bum. I blame her completely for being a slutty, stupid, mean and cold waste of skin. I blame her that he doesn't want me because he thinks I'm useless and unworthy of being an honest mate. I BLAME HER.

How can I be happy now? These tears blur my words and I seem unable to write any further. He does not love me and he thinks of me like just another one of my sisters. Not me in specific. Not me, set aside with the kind of growing love that I hope for and dream of. The kind where we find a really nice place somewhere, preferably on a cliff that overlooks the ocean, and we make a tent and have little babies that I will raise with more love and devotion than my mother ever did. You know.

I hate him. I am so going to ignore him now because he devastated me and hurt my feelings and he doesn't love me so he's probably really feather hefted or whatever that Vesker says it is. And he probably is in love with Vashni because she's such a tramp anyway like Mama and it's only because she's better looking.

I am going to cry now and cry and cry and cry. Maybe I should just be ugly like Xelxa. It would make it all better.

[Yenene]

That teardrop dried into what looks like a lopsided faerie dragon. Kinda cool.

I had about a ten minute pause to think over things. I am pretty blessed. I met all the Taste of Death people and Pearlle is so nice. So is Micancancancan and Korangrawr. I guess I'm not a completely ugly waste of skin after all.

I also don't speak with an accent in orcish apparently. Someone commented on it or rather that I didn't have a strong one. I guess it pays to grow up in a trading town.

[Yenene]

OH! And when I look at it upside down. It kinda looks like a boat. Sort of.

I am going to do more things by myself. Relying on him has made me weak. Plus I don't think I could stand looking at his so hot back all the time anymore. He can go screw Vashni in the Temple of Atala... whatever all I care. Really. Seriously.

Oh I'd kill her if she did. Oh I'd kill her so fast! Wait? Why do I care? Honestly. He's a jerk who couldn't see something good in front of his face if it.

I'm crying again. MAN! I HATE MALE TROLLS!

[Yenene]

I had the worst date ever. Wait. No I had the best date ever. Korrin took me to the Fire Festival and he ran with me to help me collect the flowers. Except we went with The Grim and all of them are horrible. Really really horrible! I don't understand why Blood Moon Rising is even allied with them. It's so stupid.

They're all meanies.

I hate the Grim. It reminds me of when mama decided that she needed time alone. I think I was eight then. I kinda remember it because that was when she actually gave me my own knife to carve and I've had that for ten years. Jakana was crying. Jakana always cried in the mornings because she was hungry and I know that Spiritual just was out hunting with his friends and would not be back to bring us anything to eat.

Jakana's wails upset my mother's peaceful morning. She kicked us out of the tent and we were forbidden to return for the day. Jakana wasn't that big. I didn't know who to turn to. Vashni was furious and it was all left to her pretty much. When we came back that night, mama refused to let us in and shoved Jakana in the dirt.

I remember the nice troll next door let us stay with them. One day turned into three days and into a week. But the nice old lady troll, she's no longer with us, she let us stay and I helped her cook. That was the first time I learned how to make stew using something other than turtle. We were so happy and I enjoyed it and one day we were around her fire while she was reciting some story. I can't quite remember the story only that it was exciting and Jakana was clapping while Vashni had that far-off look Vashni has.

When mama came by, poured a bucket of something on the fire and told us to go home.

So we did.

I wish I hadn't.

[Yenene]

We defended Revantusk! We're strong enough now! I felt so proud and strong! Only the Alliance left before I could do anything. I just thought of how Korrin would fight and so I did the same and boy was I proud.

Vashni is areally good healer. I think she may be one of the best ever.

I wonder where Xelxa has gotten off to.

Then we went to Jintha'Lor and came across a night elf shadowy one and he was running so I chased him down, long legs and ghostly paws. Silly shadowy elf didn't know he could stop me if he just wanted to, but I got him and frost shock, then slam in the face then purge and finally smack he was dead.

Oh so good!

[Yenene]

So Mama is dead. I guess in a way I am excited to know it because that makes me right, but then that makes her -- what I don't exactly know. What does that make her?

She contacts me via letter. It's her short way of writing and tells me to send her a bunch of gold to help her get away from the Lich King. The Lich King! How does gold get you away from a Lich King?

So then I write her back, care of some place called New Avalon. I've never even heard of it. So I'm thinking again that she's pulling my leg and I am already tall enough! She gets the letter and she is responds that she is under the Lich King's control, but doesn't want to be and needs more money to get out. Money! Now I don't know much about the Lich King, except stories people tell, and I know that someone like that won't take money to get away. So really she is just going to rip me off again.

I am so tired of her ripping me off. I work hard. I am learning how to be a shaman! I am trying so hard to listen to the Elements and they don't speak to me. I am trying so hard to listen to the Spirits and they don't speak to me either.

My mama speaks to me, only to steal my gold.

So I put my foot down. I'm in Outland now, working for the Na'aru. I don't have time to feed my mama gold so she can buy into her stupid schemes.

She told me she joined a roving band of rats. So I left Blood Moon and joined them too to keep an eye on her and to ensure she doesn't rip them off like she rips everyone off.

Is my life going to be watching my mama so she doesn't rip everyone off?

I hope hope hope that her being dead means she can't have any more babies. I so so so so hope.

[Yenene]

It's been a few months now that Mama is back from the dead. Is it unfair of me to wish that she just was dead? She's chiefing it over me that she has become more powerful than I am with my shaman powers. I try to explain to her that I am studying to be a scribe and to spend my time crafting gems right now, but she is adamant about this warpath she is on and how I am being lazy like my sister Xelxa.

I told her about the discovery of Spiritual and Vesker. She doesn't seem to care. She told me she contacted Spiritual, but he was no son of hers and was glad she left him to be eaten by vultures. That really upsets me because I thought that by leaving the necklaces with them it was a sign she was forced to leave them against her will, not that she left them willingly. My mother is a monster.

She's been using The Grim's agreement with her about children in wartime to chief it over me again that I am lucky she raised me at all. She goes on and on about how Vashni is her favourite daughter and the only one of us that made anything out ourselves. Now mama's in Northrend and she brags about slaughtering masses and masses of things, be them Alliance or trolls or whatever.

I want her just to leave me alone. I want her to stop telling me these things. I don't want to think about this dark echoing thing that is my mother's voice and how she stops by Thrallmar just to seek me out and tell me horrifying things. I can't say no, cause well she's my mama, right?

She's taken to asking me to teach her how to read. I told her I wouldn't because she has no desire to learn, but only wants to read so she can know the content of letters she receives. The mama I know didn't care about reading or anything but the next thing she could ... mate with. I told her I wouldn't teach her and she made me feel guilty again about leaving her behind and letting her die.

Did I let her die? I feel bad, in a way, that yes I wanted her to die. And now I feel worse because the Lich King raised her and for someone who was better at running than fighting, she now has the ability to fight and fight and come back up over and over. Mama's scourge. I don't care what people tell me about Death Knights. Mama is scourge. If death knights are the noble ones who got away from the Lich King, then mama is the bad one that should never have been raised in the first place. I hate her.

Until I can finish my training here in Thrallmar, she will keep harassing me. I need more inks. I need more quills. I need her to leave me alone.

I haven't heard from Vashni in awhile. I haven't heard from Xelxa at all. Nor Vesker. I heard from Spiritual, but he was pretty pissed I told mama about him. So I guess I can't do anything right.

I haven't heard from Korrin. I really miss him.

I guess the one person that I keep hearing from is Aplu. He has been telling me about the troll wars and about the exotusks exodus of the Drakkari to Northrend. He came to Thrallmar and we talked. His orcish isn't very good so I promised I would help him learn to speak it if he could tell me more. It reminds me of Korrin and how Korrin would tell me stories of their struggle against the murlocs. It's strange to think that if I had been born on another end of the world I would have been going through so much more.

What Aplu tells me is so unnerving. I guess I took it for granted that trolls were trolls and that we were always trolls and have always been trolls and we are unique amongst the tribes. But Aplu told me something that has made me look differently at the blood elves. Aplu has told me that elves were once trolls. And they became Night Elves.

I don't know what to think. With my inscription getting better, my ability to write and understand words is getting gooder better I think. I've been looking for books so I can see. I want to ask others about this. Is it possible? Could we be related to elves?