Purpose

[Shadowspeak]

A Journal sits in the Apothecarium. All of the pages save a few have been ripped out, their fate unknown. The only thing left within this simple book are a few pages, the words left on their golden display look as if their burnt into the fabric of the parchment:

Something I've allways had. Something I couldn't live without. Something I needed.

I never fully understood why I allways needed it, but I just moved on my way... allways pushing forward to my goal, never questioning the higher power, allways staying a devout follower.

But in truth, that was my folly. BLindness, to a higher power. Sheer ignorance that something more powerful than I can lie.

A shame, honestly... I allways thought of myself as someone who sees the bigger picture, someone who can look ahead and see whats coming and how to deal with it. Someone who has all the answers. I was so blind... When I saw the truth it was almost like someone had ripped the veil from my face.

All Gods hate us.

So now that I have resisted, now that I have finally thrown this burden from my choulders off- What now? Who do I fight for? What do I defend? Where do I go? Who do I love? Who do I hate?

My mind is riddled with questions. I do not know what to do, and now I have no purpose. I am in the middle of an ocean without a paddle. I am helpless.

The first page ends

[Shadowspeak]

So I have sat inside this old, rotten house for what... a month now? What should I do?

Night and day I have sat here thinking, but I can come up with nothing but hollow thoughts. I have no reason to leave this place... but I also have no reason to stay. It's quite fine, at first. Though I'm alone, I'm not happy... or sad. I am neutral. I am an "open book". I wonder what will happen next?

Today I happen to spot a Human near my new home. He wanders in a circle, over and over again, occasionally speaking to one of the Alliance passerbys. I watched the old man as he circled around and around. I stayed there for some time until I finally decided to do something.

I took ahold of his mind to talk to him, though his mind was dammaged. The insane have an odd twist to their mind. Sometimes it swirls and twists like a vortex, other times it's shattered and broken into peices.

Ths Human had his mind shattered. The sighns of a brutal and violent past of whatever did this. Broken minds are a usual result of fear.

"Who are you?" I demanded.

The only response I got was whimpering, the sobbing of a small child it sounded like.

"Why are you here... what did this to you... what is your name..."

All had the same response. He could only wander around in his circle, constantly turning around and around, driven mad by whatever did this.

So I killed him. Not much as an act of sick pleasure as an act of pity. I actually felt bad for this pathetic Human. I felt guilty that I did not end his torment when I had the power to.

I ressurected the mad man. I watched him stand to his feet only to resume his endless walking. It would likely be better just to leave it at that.

The insane man isn't the only inhabitant of Raven Hill. Ghosts roam here. Not hostile Undead like the ones roaming in the cemetary, but silent watchers. Spirits, looking over me as I sit and think. Though their bodies are gone, their souls and minds remain. They talk to me, sometimes, in my head. They ask me why I have intruded into their "home". I merely answer back that it is my home as well. They get annoying sometimes, making footsteps while upstairs and eventually focusing their odd forces enough to knock over an obscure peice of furniture.

No one has replied to my posting of the Church of Shadow. Mabey that can be a purpose? Mabey I should go to the Rest Inn Peace again? Hm. Mabey...

The page ends with a rough sketching of Raven Hill:

http://i118.photobucket.com/albums/o116/Crystalmephisto666/Church-1.gif

[Shadowspeak]

While alone down here, I began to think about my very last conversation with two individuals: Vilmah and Nojinbu.

Now, I realize their little world is oh so filled with drama, but through it all I will have to compliment them on their devotion to one another, Sulajin and Niethan as well. They have fought through the thick it seems...

Anyhow, before I begin to ramble in my own writing...

They have given me one thing no one hase ever grifted with me before- Advice. Good advice. I'm not sure if either of them realize it or not, but they have actually changed me in a way, despite our differances. Those two made me realize that I am free to do what I want. But the problem is this:

What do I want in this world?

That is a riddle I have yet to solve. I can't seem to figure out what exactly I'm looking for. For once, I'm lost. Hopefully I can continue my knowledge into the path of the Divine, but of late that has been difficult. There are few books left unread, few techniques left untaught. I have explored to, what is presently, the extent of my power. For a priest, that is frustrating.

Earlier today I was speaking to one of the ghosts inside the building I stay inside. It's hard communicating, the most I got out of the entire conversation was the fact that her name was Lem-something. Our "conversation" was cut short when I heard a rather large explosion in the distance (or at least it had to be a large explosion from what I experianced next). I retreated from my ghoulish friend to outside to see if I could witness anything strange... it seems I found what I was looking for.

The sky was filled with tiny pieces of some sort of black stone material. peices of shrapnal, I guessed. I tried to predict which direction it came from and think of what could have caused such a commotion. I thought about it for a little while before finally deciding to go see for myself.

The direction of the blast came from beyond Deadwind pass. I thought possibly that something had happened to that Tower of horrors in the southernmost region of Deadwind. As I rode pase it, I saw nothing out of the norm. I kept mount going into the Swamp of Sorrows. There was nothing wrong with the Temple, or the small Orc enchampment.

Finally, I decided to ride to the Blasted Lands. I did think the portal was an option but... it's the dark portal, and I did not want to believe an explosion that enormous happened anywhere near here. That would be trouble for, not only me, but the entire world.

And you all know what I found when I arrived.

Legions of demons pouring out of the green doorway, coming down on the defenders of Azeroth- The Argent Dawn. Of course, I was in no place for a battle right now... I had just witnessed one of my greatest fears of what "could happen".

It was not long before the demon barrage had ended. Day and night they fought through, but eventually the Argent Dawn, with the forces of the Alliance and the Horde behind them, went inside and took their destiny. But of course.... Outland. I never would have thought I could actually enter the place myself. Meet the one and only Khadgar, set eyes on a Pitlord and live, or witness the marred beauty of the landscape.

Shortly after being on the footsteps of the doorway, I had to run back to Azeroth... I had to focus. This meant everything to me. A huge change in my existance as a priest. With Outland, came new teachings, new powers, new reasons....

New purpose.

I was overwhelmed. I had a reason to leave that basement. I had a reason to get up and walk. I had purpose again.

it seems one more question in my mind had been answered, but there still lingered more in the void. There are allways questions that need answering. There are allways problems that must be solved. There is allways a purpose, no matter what.