Dear Diary

[Lovely]

Dear Diary,

I'm resting at the moment, so while I'm not in heavy combat I thought it might be a good idea for me to get a book to write my thoughts, and my fears, and my ideas in. I spend too much time being impulsive and emotional, so I'm hoping that this will help to quell my rash impulses and make me into a better person.

With that said and done, my first entry:

Well, its another Tuesday morning, and I'm sitting in my small room in The Guilded Rose. Outside, I can hear the bustling streets, and the sounds of the beggars and the bards playing their instruments. These sounds are distractions, but even listening to them makes my mind wander to the thoughts of the past week.

It seems I have made an even larger enemy of The Grim than I had thought. After I sent Synth to kill the vendors in Orgrimaar, the Grim seem to be everywhere. Twice this week I have encountered them, and have barely escaped with my life. They are ruthless and merciless, and I must be very careful when they are in the area.

I have noticed one thing about the Grim...They are excellent masters of tactics and teamwork. If not for their disgusting ways, I would find myself admiring them. They have what the Alliance often does not, and that is cooperation.

As for the Alliance, we tend to be lazy...apathetic in our ways. If it isn't bothering us, we don't pay attention to it. We are quick to make fun of someone in trouble, when in fact we should be helping them. What does this say about our character...are we truly the good denizens of Azeroth, or are we the ones who should fall under the feet of the Horde...At least the horde cooperates and helps their brethren.

I got a pattern for Aelendil this week....A pattern which will teach him to make an admiral's hat. I was tempted to keep it for myself, as the vendor had only one in stock, but Aelendil's skills at tailoring far outweigh my own. It seems that everything he does outweighs my own abilities...He is so powerful...More powerful than he thinks of himself. I think that may be one of the reasons I'm strongly attracted to him.

Thats another of my problems. I am seeing the Paladin Brardith, and we have been romantic for a while now. I have fun with Brardith, and cannot help but enjoy myself when I am in his presence, but I'm not sure if Brardith understands my problems....I'm a bit of a wild card when it comes to romance, and often have a hard time controlling myself. Its just a matter of time before I do something stupid and hurt Brardith....which is the last thing I want to do.

I also don't want to hurt Rhowen....I consider her my best friend, and I look up to her, yet I openly lust after her man....I have even mentioned this to her, and begged her to help watch over me. My fear is that in a moment of lust, I will do something stupid and will lose the friendship of her and everyone else I've grown to be friends with.

I am codependent. I know this. I crave attention, and crave being with someone. I fear sometimes that I may drive people away because I want to be with them too much.

I feel, after much thought, that I need something else in my life. I'm not talking about a new love, or anything like that....But I need something to help me make sense of my life...To give me a goal...a direction. I feel that I need to fully grow up, even though I am still a young woman...I need to be mature, and I need to quell the desires that rage out of control within me.

Enough of this, though....I did not buy this book to whine.

I had some fun times this week too. Caede and I went to Azshara the other night, and took a wrong turn. We went further south than we should have, and due to a mishap which was my fault, we accidently ran across the bridge into Orgrimaar. The guards were displeased at this, of course, and chased us for quite some distance. Once we got tired of running, we slew the guard that was stupid enough to keep following us. I'm sure the alarms had been set off, and the people were wondering who was attacking, not knowing it was just an accident. It was quite humorous.

Also, I may have made a mistake this week. I was gambling with another member of my guild, and he lost a bet. I told him that since he lost, he had to kiss someone of my choosing. I chose Liadain, wife of Celethorn. In retrospect, that probably was not one of my better ideas. Celethorn was very angry, and had words with Rhowen.

While neither Rhowen nor I care what Celethorn had to threaten us with, I still have a bit of respect for the man, even though he thinks of me as a common harlot and traitor to my people. I should probably be more careful with what I do from now on. Still, it was pretty funny hearing about Celethorn getting his feathers ruffled.

Well, my fingers are in danger of cramping, so I suppose I'll stop for now. I will write again when I can.

Yours,

Lovely

[Rhowen-Prea]

(( o.O Interesting look into the mind of our dear lady paladin. ))

[Celuna]

((*claps excitedly* I can't wait to read more of this!))

[Lovely]

Dear Diary,

I put on such a front....I am chaos inside. Right now, at this very moment, I teeter on the edge of madness...Why am I cursed so?

I am so weak...Everywhere I go, people are calling my name, and I push them away....I hear too many voices and it makes me want to explode....Yet when I am alone, I am terrified of staying that way....Why?

As I write this, my hand is shaking. My emotions swell and I find it hard to think. The Blades of Lordaeran want me dead for some reason, or at least some of them do....Celethorn denies knowing anything about this death warrant.

My alliance with the Immortalis has apparently been leaked....So now I am known as a harlot of the forsaken...Yet those who accuse me do not understand. They have not walked in my shoes....They can never know what I endure daily.

I have not seen Brardith in nearly a week....I can only hope he is well. At the same time, I see Rhowen and Aelendil, and hope I do not push them away with my neediness. I want their friendship so bad...They have no idea how charismatic they both are....Well, okay, Aelendil may know, but they are wonderful leaders and I love them more than I love myself. They are family.

<the next line is scribbled out>

I'm rambling incoherently....Time to put the book down and sleep. Perhaps my dreams will be a good escape from this insanity that enfolds me....and perhaps I'll dream of him...again.

Yours,

Lovely

[Lovely]

Dear Diary,

I haven't written in a few days...Its been a bit chaotic in my life.

I met with Clys last night. She intends to attempt to gain back her life. While this would normally be good, the steps she must take to ensure her life are not good at all. She intends to bring herself back to life at a cost of wicked proportions, on a level that even I cannot stomach.

I love Clys. I would do anything for her. Yet I cannot allow her to do what she has planned. While it may mean my death, I will fight her on this to the best of my ability.

I also am torn...Should I tell Rhowen what Clys told me. Given Rhowen's history, it may be likely that Rhowen agrees to help Mistress Clys complete her goals. This would put us at odds, and I would never wish such a thing. I love Rhowen more than I love myself, and I can only hope that she will show compassion and wisdom when it comes to deciding whether or not to perform the mission which Clys has decided to give to her.

I want to run away. I do not like being in this position, and I want to hide...to take myself out of the equation completely. But seeing as how I am alive, I cannot do such a thing.

Rhowen and I had a talk the other day, and brought several things out into the open. We also decided that we would never keep secrets from each other, no matter what those secrets might be.

Now I have a secret which I have sworn not to tell, and it is tearing me apart.

Who do I love more? Rhowen or Clys?

Or do I love neither of them? Do I decide at this point to renounce love and all it stands for?

I'm so confused....

[Lovely]

"Dear Diary,

It has been quite a while since I've written...several weeks in fact. As I write this, I'm at the Abbey at Northshire, and am just beginning to calm down from the events of yesterday. I'm hoping that writing will help me to deal with everything, and maybe open my eyes to things I haven't seen before.

I'll start from the beginning.

Several weeks ago, I was captured by an agent of SI:7 who was working with lady Kurohane Mistveil of The Swordwaltzers. I was turned in for a petty bounty, and taken to the catacombs beneath the Cathedral of Light in Stormwind. There, the agent of SI:7 tortured me until I was forced to call him my master.

I was also poisoned. This poison has already had effects, but is also stagnating in me, and if activated will surely kill me. The Agent has the antidote, but as of yet has not offered it for my release.

While being tortured, I was asked about my involvement with The Immortalis. I told the truth eventually, as much as I hate to admit, and was told that I now work for SI:7.

It seems odd that I have tried to do the right thing all my life, but have always been guided by others.

Regardless...That isn't an issue.

Once the torture was finished, the agent left and Tarlithion of The Blades of Lordaeran came down the stairs. This was before the Blades changed into the new group....Hard to remember their name. It turns out Tarlithion was behind a good part of this.

Tarlithion has never been a fan of mine. The entire time I've known him, he has looked down upon me, given me comments, and just been a general ass to me. He is pompous, selfish, and a general boil on the face of Azeroth.

When I saw him come down the stairs into the catacombs, as I lay bound and beaten, I was angered beyond words. How dare this elf look down from his perch and presume to judge me. Oh, how I hate that man....that hypocritical bastard....

Tarlithion informed me that the Scarlet Crusade....Inquisitor Whitemane to be precise (who I had thought dead by my own hand), had placed the bounty on me for acts I had performed with the Forsaken.

Yet another zealot who seeks to judge what they don't understand.

Tarlithion gloated in my capture. Had I been able to break my bonds, I would have torn his head from his body, but I was broken in body and spirit, and could only listen to his venemous words.

He told me that I worked for him now. I had a mission to perform. It was similar to the mission from SI:7, of course, and my life was forfeit if I didn't do it....I would be turned over to the Scarlets....

So of course I had to agree. What choice did I have?

Over the next two weeks I tried to perform the mission for my new masters...I failed. No matter what I did, the mission was unsuccessful. I grew to hate my masters, but at the same time I began to understand that they were right. I had been sucked into a pit of darkness, and the light at the top of the pit had become dim indeed. I began to want that light...I began to want to do the right thing. I was changing.

Then I met Faith. My sister. I had thought her dead for 7 years, but now she is back and is a paladin of the Light. She goes by the name Celuna, a nickname we had for her when we were children.

Celuna is back, and even though her life has been less than perfect, she is beautiful and good, and I owe it to her and to myself to reach for the light and become a shining example to her. Meeting Celuna, and finding out she was alive after all these years has been the turning point for me. It is time for me to grow up and to be a force for good rather than for neutrality.

Now I'll move forward again....

I have been having a romantic relationship with the Paladin Brardith for quite some time. He is a member of the Tears of Elune, and is probably one of the best men I've ever met. I'm sure he is in love with me, and yet I cannot return that love. My encounters with Brardith have only been charged by lust...and I know now that it is wrong. I should never have seduced him....I should have left him be and left him out of the chaos that I bring to everything I touch.

Over the past couple weeks I have still seen Brardith, but my heart does not belong to him. I have felt attraction for many people....Rhowen and Aelendil, and most notably Barke, the elven rogue who I can't seem to keep my hands off of.

Barke has been a source of enjoyment for me. He is quite possibly the best rogue on the face of the planet. I have seen him single handedly take out 3 rogues that were equal to him in training without breaking a sweat. I dare say he would have no problem dispatching Lady Clys AND Danlily at the same time if the situation arose where they attacked him. He is incredible, and I have been fighting the urge to fall for him.

Barke and I sit together in Stormwind, and in Ironforge, and we watch those around us and talk about things. I cuddle against him, and he holds me, and I kiss him, but we both know where we stand. We do not belong to each other, and for some reason it seems to work. I have to be careful....If I fall in love with him I will surely screw it up and drive him away as I have so many others.

The night before last....

I was searching for Barke. He wasn't in his usual spots, and so I attempted to contact Rhowen to see if she knew where he was. I couldn't find her either, so I began to ask around. It turns out she had gone off with Tarlithion....Carousing.

Rhowen knows what Tarlithion has done to me. She knows full well of my torture and his bounty. She may as well have slapped me across the face.

Yesterday....

Yesterday was horrible. Barke was missing. I have no idea what happened to him, and I hope for his sake that he is only camping and hunting as he likes to do. While thinking of Barke, my self doubt began to creep up as it always does. I began to dwell on my mistakes, and see myself as others see me. I am tainted now...People think of me as a common harlot, and maybe they are right.

As I was wallowing in my own drama and pity, I encountered Brardith, and decided it was time to talk with him. I wanted to be honest with him, and so he and I went to the bridge near the mage's district in Stormwind.

I cried, and I told Brardith that I wasn't in love with him. I told him about Barke, and my feelings, and that perhaps it would be better for everyone else on Azeroth if I ended my own life. Needless to say, Brardith didn't like that, and tried to shake some sense into me.

At that point, I was mentally gone...My mind was a mess, and then Rhowen showed up. She rode her cat past us....I suppose she was attempting to give us some space since I was obviously distraught. I asked her to stop, and that is when it happened.

I asked Rhowen about Tarlithion. To my surprise, she was cold and callous to me. I begged her to be careful, and reminded her of what Tarlithion had done. She told me to mind my own business, and reminded me that I was no better than a common whore.

I snapped. That was my breaking point. I ran crying from the city as fast as I could, and went to Northshire Abbey. If I had failed in repairing myself, then maybe the priests of the abbey could help me to be whole again...to once again be a proper servant of the light.

I adorned the vestments of a neophyte priest, and sat in the church, praying with all my might that I be made whole and good again. I cried until there were no tears left, and then cried some more. The priests looked at me as though I were insane, but said nothing. They stood there with their candles and watched, whispering to each other while looking at me.

Brardith showed up a few minutes later. His concern was a beautiful thing...Had I been anyone else, I would have fallen into his arms and run off with him right there....But I cannot. I do not know what true love is...I am a harlot, and I don't deserve a man like Brardith. I love him, but I am not in love with him. Brardith isn't aware of this, but I seduced him just to see if I could...not out of love. Although I have grown to respect and admire him, that will always mar my feelings, and I will never know Brardith the way I want to.

While there, I told Brardith of everything that had transpired. I told him of Tarlithion...and of my torture by SI:7, though I didn't tell him the name of the agent. I want Brardith to stay his hand in all this....and told him that. I can only hope he will abide my wishes out of his love for me. He was very angry.

Brardith left the Abbey, and I was tended to by some wonderful people who helped me to calm down. A gnome mage named Crysti helped me more than anyone, just by talking to me, and showing me that you don't have to be a paladin or a priest to be a force for good. She fed me and gave me water, and I will never forget her.

As I write this, I still have conflict. I was visited by SI:7 last night, but it was a more pleasant visit than the last time. I know now what I must do...I know now that I am but a pawn in this large game. I know now that I want to do good, and that I will strive to repair my damaged reputation and be a beacon of light....If not for me, then for my sister Celuna.

I am a being of love. It is time to do the right thing.

Yours,

Lovely"

With that final writing, Lovely walked from the Abbey, leaving her diary on the steps. Not caring who found it, she walked the road toward Stormwind, ready to begin her new life. Things would change....They would definately change....

[Lovely]

((By the way, whoever is the first to call dibs (on this thread), and has a reason to be in Northshire Abbey, can easily find the diary. Might make for some interesting future RP, especially since there is alot of dirt on some people in there. Just an FYI))

[Xeran]

((By the way, whoever is the first to call dibs (on this thread), and has a reason to be in Northshire Abbey, can easily find the diary. Might make for some interesting future RP, especially since there is alot of dirt on some people in there. Just an FYI))

Xeran entered the inn and slumped into a chair. He rested his battered sword against the nearby bookcase and stretched out his legs. The Western Plaguelands were a vile place and he had returned from a long journey there exhausted.

He had no sooner closed his eyes to doze off when the inn-keeper tapped him on the shoulder. "Xeran? Sir knight? A priest in Northshire is asking for you. He sent a messenger boy to get you."

Xeran peered at the small boy who handed him a note. He gave the child two silver and smiled at the excited look on the child's face. "Don't just buy candy with ..." he began, but the child was already out the door.

He read the note in silence and then ran for the door.

----------

Xeran came to a halt just outside the Abbey. He was going to inquire about the location of the priest, but the priest was already waiting for him.

"Hello, Xeran," the priest said. "You are a friend of Lovely, are you not?"

"I am, " Xeran replied. Being Lovely's friend had been difficult of late. Her affiliation with the Horde and some of her other actions had called her very sanity into question.

"She left this here." The priest handed him the diary. "I was considering just returning it to her, but ...." the priest trailed off. "She is obviously distraugt about a great many things. I thought perhaps someone close to her could help her."

"I will do what I can. Thank you for bringing this to my attention."

Xeran mounted again and stuffed the diary in his pack. Perhaps he could use it to help his friend.


((
How's that for a story on the fly? I figured it was better than the much simpler verion:

"Xeran raced to Northshire Abby to get Lovely's diary hoping it was illustrated. People he flew past on the road only hear him muttering 'ZOMGBEWBIES' over and over and over again."

:)

))

[Lovely]

((ZOMGBEWBIES!!!! hehe.

So is he gonna read it? Mwahahaha))

[Laron]

/clap
((Very well done.))
Though... Expect to see me soon. SI:7 doesn't choose it's agents lightly...

[Xeran]

((ZOMGBEWBIES!!!! hehe.

So is he gonna read it? Mwahahaha))

((

Of course!! I think at some point you should send me an email with what it contains beyond anything you have posted here.

))

[Lovely]

((Actually, the only things in it are what is posted here....))

[Xorek]

((curse blizzard for not allowing us to make characters on both sides. I made an alliance alt on Emerald dream, but it would be so much more interesting to have my alt on TN, the rp opportunities we could do!))

[Celuna]

((so is this thread open now, or still closed?))

[Lovely]

((I assume its pretty much open now...))

:wink: