Wily Curlstash
08-27-2010, 11:55 AM
"Oh! So all I have to do is write a bit about MY adventures and MY life, as well as MY genius? Hurray, this sounds like it'll be a lot of fun!" A small, balding Gnome hopped up and down in excitement, staring happily at the Goblin in front of him. It was, after all, the only other thing besides Gnomes that could see him eye-to-eye.
"Yea, yea, whatever. Listen. All ya gotta do is write a bit 'bout yourself, I go home, I get my paycheck from the Gazette, and I am able to actually get some sleep. You got me?" He was hoping that the Goblin would be lazy and only write a sentence or two, even though he required a paragraph.
The Gnome would nod, a smile on his face. "Of course! You'll be able to sleep AFTER I HANG YOU UPSIDE DOWN ON AN ENLARGED HOOK, SLICE YOUR STOMACH OPEN SO YOUR INNARDS SPILL OUT, AND YOU ARE FORCED TO WATCH YOUR BLOOD SLOWLY DRIP OUT OF YOU AS I FEAST ON IT."
This caused the once tired Goblin to suddenly pop awake, staring at the Gnome with a mixture of fear and surprise. Mostly fear.
"OH! I'm so terribly sorry! That happens from time to time! Hehe!" The Gnome bounced up and down again, seemingly back to normal. Seemingly. Taking the quill and the piece of parchment, he would begin writing a little bit about himself.
"WILY CURLSTASH THE MAGNIFICENT"
-reading this means you are compliant for my domination of the world. your willing subjugation is appreciated-
As you may of gathered, my name is Wily Curlstash! I am a Death Knight, but more importantly I am an explorer and I am GOING TO CHOP A PIECE OF YOUR LIMBS OFF, ONE PIECE AT A TIME, MAKING YOU VERY PAINFULLY AWARE OF MY ACTIONS.
Oh dear, not again! You see, when I was resurrected by the Scourge, they took part of my brain to help them research the finer points of technology! I think they replaced it with part of an Abomination's brain. In any case, that's not important!
I was an inventor and explorer, working on a device that would allow us to simply teleport to the very heart of Gnomeregan so we could retake our fair city from all the disgusting things that have taken it! So I had a small group of unarmed engineers and researchers with me!
Of course, our technology isn't the best...I devised a Time-Space Manipulatron-Z that, no offense, would bore you to tears if I explained the science of it! Hehe! It allows us to bend space and time to our will, which would allow us to jump from place to another, instantly!
Unfortunately, someone replaced a 1 with a 0, which caused us not to go to Gnomeregan, but instead to the middle of Icecrown! You know, the place with the millions of ghouls? Yeah. My squad was instantly torn to shreads, as I said, we were unarmed!
Quickly, however, I looked down and noticed there was a giant (by my standards) battle axe, unused mostly because the one who WAS using it was dead, hehe! So I took that axe and BEGAN SPILLING THE INSIDES OF THOSE FILTHY GHOULS OPEN, THEIR BLOOD SPLATTERING ON MY FACE AND RUNNING AROUND THE GROUND LIKE A GLORIOUS RIVER.
Oh dear! It happens from time to time, hehe! Try not to worry about it! Anyway, I killed fifty of the foul beasts, but they just kept coming! Even someone as AMAZING as me would be overwhelmed! It seems that I have an uncanny knack for giant weapons and killing things! Haha! Next thing I knew, I was resurrected as a zombified Death Knight, to do the Lich King's bidding!
I learned how to perfect my combat skills, and I still retained (enough) of my engineering abilities! Now that I am free, I am able to directly avenge the lives of my fallen allies, and fight for the reclamation of GNOMEREGAN! Why bypass all the Troggs when we can IMPALE THEM ON OUR WEAPONS, MAKING THEIR CURSED BLOOD DRIP FROM THEIR BODIES AS THEY STRUGGLE TO FREE THEIRSELVES, SLOWER AND SLOWER, UNTIL THEY FINALLY STOP MOVING.
Well, that's all I have. Bye! Hehe!
"Here you go, Mr. Goblin! Hehe! There's a lot more to my story, but I didn't want to bore you, or go on for TOO long!" Wily again bounced.
"Y-yea...um, I won't bother ya anymore, Mr. Curlstash. You be havin' a nice day, now." The Goblin was a bit terrified, and just wished to leave before Wily decides to make his satanic image a reality. He turned and began to leave.
"Thank you so much! DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU."
And he didn't, running full-tilt to the door, crying.
(Battle Theme! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3B85DIMNUc)
(Picture! http://i35.tinypic.com/2hdo9p0.jpg
"Yea, yea, whatever. Listen. All ya gotta do is write a bit 'bout yourself, I go home, I get my paycheck from the Gazette, and I am able to actually get some sleep. You got me?" He was hoping that the Goblin would be lazy and only write a sentence or two, even though he required a paragraph.
The Gnome would nod, a smile on his face. "Of course! You'll be able to sleep AFTER I HANG YOU UPSIDE DOWN ON AN ENLARGED HOOK, SLICE YOUR STOMACH OPEN SO YOUR INNARDS SPILL OUT, AND YOU ARE FORCED TO WATCH YOUR BLOOD SLOWLY DRIP OUT OF YOU AS I FEAST ON IT."
This caused the once tired Goblin to suddenly pop awake, staring at the Gnome with a mixture of fear and surprise. Mostly fear.
"OH! I'm so terribly sorry! That happens from time to time! Hehe!" The Gnome bounced up and down again, seemingly back to normal. Seemingly. Taking the quill and the piece of parchment, he would begin writing a little bit about himself.
"WILY CURLSTASH THE MAGNIFICENT"
-reading this means you are compliant for my domination of the world. your willing subjugation is appreciated-
As you may of gathered, my name is Wily Curlstash! I am a Death Knight, but more importantly I am an explorer and I am GOING TO CHOP A PIECE OF YOUR LIMBS OFF, ONE PIECE AT A TIME, MAKING YOU VERY PAINFULLY AWARE OF MY ACTIONS.
Oh dear, not again! You see, when I was resurrected by the Scourge, they took part of my brain to help them research the finer points of technology! I think they replaced it with part of an Abomination's brain. In any case, that's not important!
I was an inventor and explorer, working on a device that would allow us to simply teleport to the very heart of Gnomeregan so we could retake our fair city from all the disgusting things that have taken it! So I had a small group of unarmed engineers and researchers with me!
Of course, our technology isn't the best...I devised a Time-Space Manipulatron-Z that, no offense, would bore you to tears if I explained the science of it! Hehe! It allows us to bend space and time to our will, which would allow us to jump from place to another, instantly!
Unfortunately, someone replaced a 1 with a 0, which caused us not to go to Gnomeregan, but instead to the middle of Icecrown! You know, the place with the millions of ghouls? Yeah. My squad was instantly torn to shreads, as I said, we were unarmed!
Quickly, however, I looked down and noticed there was a giant (by my standards) battle axe, unused mostly because the one who WAS using it was dead, hehe! So I took that axe and BEGAN SPILLING THE INSIDES OF THOSE FILTHY GHOULS OPEN, THEIR BLOOD SPLATTERING ON MY FACE AND RUNNING AROUND THE GROUND LIKE A GLORIOUS RIVER.
Oh dear! It happens from time to time, hehe! Try not to worry about it! Anyway, I killed fifty of the foul beasts, but they just kept coming! Even someone as AMAZING as me would be overwhelmed! It seems that I have an uncanny knack for giant weapons and killing things! Haha! Next thing I knew, I was resurrected as a zombified Death Knight, to do the Lich King's bidding!
I learned how to perfect my combat skills, and I still retained (enough) of my engineering abilities! Now that I am free, I am able to directly avenge the lives of my fallen allies, and fight for the reclamation of GNOMEREGAN! Why bypass all the Troggs when we can IMPALE THEM ON OUR WEAPONS, MAKING THEIR CURSED BLOOD DRIP FROM THEIR BODIES AS THEY STRUGGLE TO FREE THEIRSELVES, SLOWER AND SLOWER, UNTIL THEY FINALLY STOP MOVING.
Well, that's all I have. Bye! Hehe!
"Here you go, Mr. Goblin! Hehe! There's a lot more to my story, but I didn't want to bore you, or go on for TOO long!" Wily again bounced.
"Y-yea...um, I won't bother ya anymore, Mr. Curlstash. You be havin' a nice day, now." The Goblin was a bit terrified, and just wished to leave before Wily decides to make his satanic image a reality. He turned and began to leave.
"Thank you so much! DON'T LOOK BEHIND YOU."
And he didn't, running full-tilt to the door, crying.
(Battle Theme! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3B85DIMNUc)
(Picture! http://i35.tinypic.com/2hdo9p0.jpg