Tattered Little Book

[Nikaa]

Nikaa huffed a sigh, as she crossed the center of the Stormwind Trade District. Her boots squelched with every step she took, soaked as thoroughly as the rest of her. She paused to sidestep the hooves of a warlock's mount, as it went clip-clopping across her path. Her eyes scanned the sidewalk for a place to sit, before coming to rest on some crates stacked up against the wall of Trias' Cheese. It was as good a resting spot as any, so she hopped up onto one of them and tucked her legs under her. Tucking in one corner of her mouth in a frown of displeasure, she began to wring some water out of her clothing, and tucked a strand of damp hair behind her ear. Her palms were wrinkled from the extending soaking she had to endure, which she noted as she dug her dampened journal out of her pack. The pages were curled and stuck together, but she managed to find a spot towards the middle, that was dry enough to write on.

First time in this city.. and all hell breaks loose. It figures.. right? Funny how trouble seems to follow me.
I've been on the road for a few days, following the posts on the road that pointed towards Stormwind. It looks like a pretty big place- at least a good spot for me to hole up for a few days, maybe even get a hot meal or two, if I'm lucky. There's this big walkway over a moat that leads into the city, with Statues on either side. I was almost to the entrance when I heard the guards back behind me start yelling..I looked back that way to see what was going on, and saw a guy charging up the walkway on one of those lizard mounts. That's when the sirens started blaring, and shit started to hit the fan. I didn't get a good look at the one coming towards me cause I wasn't gonna stick around and see much more.. I know enough to tell that was a Horde. And there was NO where for me to hide, so I did all I could do.. jump over the side of the bridge and hope like hell I hit water. Luckily, I did.. and I guess I probably should have just swam to the shore and tried coming back here another day. But, you know how it is with me and curiosity. I wanted to see what was happening, so I swam my way out of there and snuck into the city to see what was happening.

Pure chaos, that's what I saw.. all those magic casters flinging their spells all over the damn place. All I could see was light and color, and those sirens blasting in my ears every few seconds.. it looked like the entire Stormwind Guard and half the city were fighting with the Horde that showed up.. and there were a LOT of Horde. Way too many... And I'm pretty good at staying out of the way and not being seen when I don't want to be. But it was too much.. I tried to hide behind some crates, and the next thing I know, all I see is blinding light and my ears and ringing and everything hurt.. a LOT.

When I came to, I felt sick and weak.. but hell was still breaking loose, around me. A saw one of those Elf guys tearing off around the corner on his cat, so I just ran.. And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't find a hiding spot that felt safe enough. They were everywhere.. in the alleyways, coming out of buildings.. I just kept running, trying to find a spot to get out of sight. And it turned out the only place I was able to find that really felt out of the way was in the canal. There was a bridge there, so I jumped in and tucked up as close to the wall as I could.. sunk down in the water until nothing was above the surface but my nose, and waited for the sirens to stop. It went on for a LONG time. At least an hour.. Eventually the guards and townsfolk drove them off, I guess.. I'm soaked, now. But at least it's not cold. I don't know if I feel safe sleeping inside the city walls tonight, though. Not after what I saw. Sometimes, it's safer to just camp. Easier to hide.. they like to target populated areas. So that's where I..

Nikaa's head jerked up and she stopped writing, her train of thought cut off abruptly by the dreaded sound of those sirens.

"Oh for..are you KIDDING me?" She asked herself, incredulously. People in the Trade District proper began to scatter in all directions.. several made a beeline for the supposed safety of the bank. A group of knights and spellcasters took up position at the end of the street, looking in the direction of the gates. A draenai began to chant, weaving his hands in an arcane pattern and causing a totem to sprout of from the ground in front of him. Heart thudding in her chest, Nikaa scooped up her journal and pack, then lit out running for her hiding spot.

[Nikaa]

I'm hiding, as I'm writing this..

Right now, I'm on the upstairs floor of the leatherworker's cottage, behind Goldshire. I was just coming back from a walk, when I heard the alarms going off, again. They go off constantly, here.. I haven't had a good night's sleep since I got here.

Anyway.. I heard the alarms sounding again, so I ducked off the road and moved into the trees.. I'm pretty good at hiding when I need to, most of the time. I snuck into some bushes and waited there, because I knew there were Horde somewhere in the area, but I had no idea where. After listening closely for a couple of minutes, I didn't hear anything else, so I started moving again. I was near the edge of Crystal Lake when I saw some movement through the trees.

I focused on where I thought I saw something, and started moving in that direction, very slowly and quietly.. When I got just a little bit closer, I could see a group of Horde through the trees, standing near the water. There were at least six or seven of them, from what I could see.. they looked like they were mostly Elves.. But the really strange thing was that they weren't alone. There was a human with them. I found a hiding spot in between some bushes and a tree, and watched them for a little while. They were standing close together, facing each other like they might have been talking, but I was too far away to tell. What I can't figure out is, WHY was the guy with them? It makes me wonder if he has some kind of secret alliance with them.. I stayed for several minutes, and they never seemed hostile towards each other. He must have been a magic caster, because he had some sort of demon at his side, but it wasn't aggressive, either.. Once, another man came charging out of the forest and attacked the Horde, but they fought him off and I lost sight of him. I don't know if he was trying to rescue the other guy, but I don't think so.. because the human who was with them never did anything.. he didn't try to fight or escape, he just stood there and watched.

It was really strange. I wanted to get closer, in the worst way.. and at least see if they were talking to each other. If so.. was he speaking their language, or were they speaking ours? I stayed for as long as I dared.. but eventually I was afraid I'd get caught, so I snuck back here to hide out for awhile until they leave. It's been several minutes now and I haven't heard anything, so I think I'll risk it and try to get back to Stormwind..

I'm going to watch for that guy. Something's up with him, and I want to know what it is.

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[Nikaa]

I think I just had the closest call of my life. At least, that I can remember. The Horde situation here is completely out of control. If something isn't done soon, they're going to completely take this entire area.

But let me back up a little bit, first. Because I had a really interesting night..

I've been picking up some odd jobs in the area, to earn a few extra coins. Earlier tonight, I had been on my way from the Stonefield Farm near Westfall, back to Stormwind. I avoid the roads when I can, because to be honest, it's much safer to keep to the cover of the trees, when I'm out of the city proper. Since I'm new to this area still, I had gotten turned around and was actually a little bit lost. I was trying to get my bearings again, when I heard the defense alarms at the Westfield Garrison, which was just on the other side of the river from where I was. I've still been watching for the man I saw sneaking around with the Horde, a few days ago. I want to know who he was, and if he was really secretly meeting with them like he appeared to be, or if there was something else going on. I snuck over to the Garrison, to see what was going on. In the doorway, I saw the body of a Horde, either dead or unconscious. Standing over him, were two large Dranaei. I know I'm not that great at hiding, yet, since apparently most anyone with a trained eye can easily spot me.. and they have all made me so painfully aware. Still, I stepped up on the railing of the stairs and watched to see if anymore Horde showed up, because I could still hear the sound of the alarms, in Goldshire. The two Danaei seemed to be waiting for something. And a couple of minutes later, several others showed up. One of them- a woman- immediately saw me standing up there, and commented that she could see me,and it was probably dangerous for me to be outside. She invited me inside with them, so I accepted. Most of them were Dranaei, but I did see some dwarves and humans, like myself. I went with the group to an upstairs room in the Garrison. Apparently they are in a guild, and I was allowed to sit in for the meeting. I stayed in the back of the room, and mostly listened. But the woman who had invited me in spoke with me quietly, on and off throughout the meeting. She asked me if I had a family, and if I was looking for one. I told her that I was alone.. and that I wasn't sure if I was looking, or not. She was really nice, though. I liked her. And as I watched the meeting, I liked the rest of them, too. They seemed warm, friendly to each other. And one of them was really funny, cracking jokes the whole time. I got a good feeling from them. They seemed to be recruiting new members, too. They were inducting a new guy in, while I was watching. And their leader mentioned another who had just recently joined. I'm so curious to know who they are, and to know more about them. I planned on asking the woman, when the meeting was over. But before it ended, she suddenly excused herself, and left. I didn't even get her name.. or even the name of their group. None of them said anything to me as they left. But it's ok... maybe I can find her again, and find out more.

After the meeting was over, I was last to leave. I was taking my time, heading back to Stormwind. I was thinking hard about everything I had heard at the meeting, just mulling it all over in my head. Meanwhile, the damned alarms were still going off, all over Goldshire and Stormwind. It's gotten to the point where I hardly think twice about it, sometimes. It almost never stops. Still, I was being careful to keep off the road, like always. To not move too quickly. Always step lightly. Keep to the shadows. But I heard something behind me.. like someone stepping on a twig. And it was close. I looked behind me, didn't see anything. But I could feel something was wrong. Someone was definitely there.. I took several more steps, but that sensation of someone right behind me was so strong, it was tangible. Finally, my instincts told me to just make a run for it. I could see the Stormwind gates from where I was.. so I sprinted. That feeling of someone right behind me never left. And sure enough, as I neared the gates, the guards started to shout, and rush past me.

I hit the Valley Of Statues running, and never slowed down. Even though the guards were going after someone on the road behind me, I still didn't feel alone. That presence still felt close. Once I got on the bridge, I lunged hard to the right and jumped over the side. It's a long drop, to the water. Just before I hit the surface, I sucked in a deep breath, and let myself go under. I didn't surface. Instead, I kicked hard and started to swim straight down. The water was murky and it was hard to see, but I swam down between the supports of the bridge. And not even then, did I feel like I had shaken whatever was following me. My hands found the daggers at my waist and I drew both of them, then kicked around to turn and face the direction I had come. Nothing. Everything was dark and silent. I started swimming again, and came around the other side of the huge girders. Again, I turned quickly to look. Still nothing. I waited for a few more seconds, but my chest and lungs were starting to burn. I tucked my blades away and swam for the bank of the moat. I dragged myself out of the water- wet, exhausted, and wondering if I was starting to let my imagination get the best of me.

But as I trudged for the stone walkway that would lead me back up onto the bridge, I paused to look over my shoulder.. just in time to see a head surface, in the water where I had been. Up above, the guards started to shout again, and several nearly trampled me as they went charging down the ramp. Up on the bridge, a couple of warriors were leaning over the side, looking down at the Horde that had been stalking me, and drawing their weapons. The alarms were blaring from the castle towers overhead again, as I made my way into the city to find shelter.

It's getting to be too much. I think I really should look into finding a group I can align myself with, who can maybe help me train enough where I can handle these threats myself. I'm sick of having to run and hide, constantly. Maybe I'll never be the toughest fighter. But it would be nice to be able to defend myself better. To defend the people I care about. And at the very least- to at least be able to not be seen everytime I'm trying to stay hidden. I don't see myself ever being a frontline fighter. But I think I could offer a lot, to a guild. I think I make a pretty good scout. But I could be better. And I'm good at tracking down information, when I need to.

As for that guy I saw with the Horde.. I considered mentioning it to the woman, tonight. But not yet.. I'm holding onto that info, for now. I want to find out more, first. I need to know who he is, who he's with, and what he's up to.

Time to go.. I hear the alarms, again.

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[Nikaa]

So much has happened, since the last time I wrote in this. I joined Invictus Sanctum, made some friends.. made some enemies. And I've been training nonstop, trying to improve my skills. There are a lot of things I want to go into more detail about, so I'll have to write about them later.

The Horde continue to attack Stormwind several times a day. relentlessly. I've been training as much as I can, to improve my skills in stealth. Lately, I've noticed that it seems to be working, most of the time. Several times, I've seen them pass by me without stopping.

I've been thinking about putting that theory to a test. I just finished training again, and I think it's time to take a little trip...

[Nikaa]

I made it back from my journey. I guess it went the way it was supposed to. I guess.

I feel horrible. I guess it was technically self defense.. but it was wrong. Cambro was right.

I don't feel good about myself, at all. I shouldn't have gone there.

I keep trying to remind myself of all the times the Horde constantly attack Stormwind and Goldshire. Or about all the times they've attacked me, when I wasn't able to defend myself. A lot of people would call it justice. But it doesn't feel.. right. In any way. Not when they're so untrained and young, or unable to fight back.

I did not make the first strike. But I made the last one. Both times.. they attacked me first. Maybe if they continued to train and improve their skills, they'd be here in Stormwind eventually, right alongside the ones that would kill any Alliance without thinking twice.

Technically, I shouldn't have any reason to feel this way. If only I could convince my conscience of that.

Seeing as so many horde keep sneaking (or forcing) their way into Stormwind, I've been getting more and more curious about seeing a Horde city. That's been one of the biggest reasons I've been spending so much time practicing being able to slip through shadows, and not be noticed. Today, I decided I was finally ready. I went to speak with Dungar, and asked him if I could get a gryphon to the nearest one. He thought about it, and told me that the easiest one to get to would probably be Undercity, but that I couldn't go all the way there. The furthest he could get me would be Southshore, and I'd be on my own from there. He tried to talk me out of it. Said that I wasn't ready, and I didn't have any business snooping around places like that.. but I told him that I just wanted to look. That I'd be careful.

When I got to Southshore, I followed the direction he had given me, and remembered to stay off the main roads so I wouldn't be seen. The hardest part was getting around the lake. There were several morlock camps there, and even though I wasn't concerned too much about them, I didn't want them to see me and start making a lot of noise that might give me away to anyone who might be around. I finally got past them though, and found the forest Dungar had told me about. It was beautiful. Somehow, I expected horde territory to be.. dead and ugly. I was surprised at how nice it was.

I did find Undercity, and I got inside.. but a blood elf priest saw me, and I barely escaped with my life. I saw a signpost pointing out a town further down the road, called Brill, so I decided to try that. I had no problems getting to it, even when I reached a bridge that was being guarded by an undead soldier. I didn't want to risk him spotting me, so I climbed up on the very edge of the bridge railing and walked along the beams on the outside of it. A couple of horde passed by no more than a foot away, but no one saw me.

Brill was small.. it reminded me a lot of Northshire. I saw mostly undead, though.. they all looked pretty unskilled. Obviously they hadn't had much training yet. I watched them for awhile.. more curious, than afraid. Even though I was pretty nervous. Eventually, I got bored and started to explore further. I crossed some hills, and found a small farm down inside a valley. There was a young warrior down there, fighting a gnoll. I could tell just by watching the way he handled himself in a fight, that I had far more training than he did.. So, I wondered what he would do, if I let him see me. I wondered if he'd be afraid, and run, or if he'd be curious. I was still keeping to the shadows, but carefully snuck up to where he was fighting. I stood in front of him, just beyond the gnoll, and let my shadows fall away. He did look startled, but just for an instant. Then, he turned his attention from the gnoll he'd been fighting, and swung his sword at me! Honestly, I swear I wasn't expecting that. There was no way he could beat me in a fight, so I didn't think he'd even try. I was so surprised, I parried his first blow.. then struck back with my sword.. twice. That's all it took, and he was down.

I was so shocked, and confused.. my hands were shaking so hard, it's a wonder I was able to hold onto my blade. I couldn't believe I had actually killed a Horde. I've been dodging them for so long, and training so hard.. I thought that if I ever did actually manage to kill one, that I'd feel.. I don't know. Elated? Proud? Vindicated, somehow?

I didn't, though. Mostly, I felt empty. And depressed.. nothing about it felt right. I slipped back into the shadows again, and left the farm. I was heading back along the road towards Brill, when I saw another one coming towards me. This one was a magic caster. I don't know if I stumbled, or if I subconsciously let him see me. I hate to admit it.. but I guess I was looking for a reaction. For all the times I've had some horde pop out of nowhere and attack me.. maybe a nasty little part of me wanted to see them be the ones shocked or afraid, for once. The double take that magic caster gave me would have almost been funny.. he kept walking and glanced over at me. Then stopped suddenly, turned around, and just stared for a couple of seconds. I didn't do anything.. didn't make any threatening moves. I just stood there, hands hanging at my sides, waiting to see what he'd do. People like Cambro and Kirana kept telling me that not all horde are bloodthirsty. Once, Kirana and I were out somewhere and a Horde approached us.. but he didn't attack. He was making weird signs at us with his hands, and smiling. Kirana said he was offering a truce. I didn't know what to think.

So, I stood and watched the magic caster, waiting to see if this one would do something similar.. or if he'd run away. Instead though, he started weaving his hands around, balling up magic inside them. I reacted so quickly.. I didn't want to kill him anymore than the last one, but he forced me into it. I guess they do hate us on sight..

After that, all I wanted to do was come back to Stormwind, before anything else happened. I still feel horrible, and confused. I don't know if I should tell Cambro what I did, or keep it a secret. I don't want to hide stuff like that from him. But I'm afraid if he finds out, he'll kick me out of the guild. I guess I won't say anything..

As soon as I got back, I heard Sararoun yelling to everyone in the middle of town that he captured some Horde, and that he was going to torture her for secrets, and then kill her. It didn't make me feel much better.

[Nikaa]

Yesterday was probably the most interesting, but confusing day I've had since I made it to Stormwind.

First, I went to the trial that I mentioned yesterday. Saruron had somehow captured a horde, and held a trial for her in the dwarven district that anyone could attend. I was curious, so I had plans on going. I actually got there an hour early to do some scouting, since I figured there was a good chance that the Horde would try for a rescue attempt. Turns out, I was right.. I was hiding outside a shop across from the building where the trial was supposed to take place, when I felt something hit me in the back of the head.. hard. It completely stunned me for several moments.. all I saw was bright light, and I was fighting hard to not fall, or lose consciousness. I think the horde that hit me was a rogue.. because I never saw it, and I am pretty sure I was hit with a sap. I should know, as often as I use mine. While I was stunned, I was still aware of what was going on. I was expecting a blade in my back at any second, and I was trying as hard as I could get get my legs to start working again. But for some reason, the horde didn't stab me. Maybe he was toying with me. I was probably only stunned for a few seconds, but it felt like minutes.. the second I was able to get my arms and legs working again, I jumped off the porch and into the shadows, then started moving. When I was a safe distance away, I looked back, but I never did see anything. I sent word to Saruron, though.. I figured he better know if there were some horde hiding around in the district.

When it was time for the trial, we all met near the mage quarter. I was expecting to see a blood elf.. but the woman was in disguise as a night elf. She could speak our language, too. That didn't occur to me until today.. but I was able to understand her, and she could understand us. Several people gathered.. some of them I didn't know. A few of them, I did. Maurdakar was there, and he let me ride with him on his mammoth mount. Saruron led the procession to the dwarf district.

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Once we got there, the trial started. Saruron was basically accusing the woman of various crimes against the Alliance, and against another woman named Niktika.. I'm really not sure what the purpose of the trial, was.. and why Saruron didn't just execute her. I didn't have any sympathy for the horde woman because she didn't seem to take any of it serious, or even care much that she was there. Let alone, act even remotely sorry for her actions. A few times during the trial, there were some horde attacks.. but they were killed immediately.

Pendi got herself into some trouble. (Again.) She was at the trial, too.. but she kept disrupting it, trying to help the horde woman, and telling Saruron he was a monster. She even threw some explosives at him.. I am amazed she wasn't killed or locked up. Maurdakar told her to stop, but she didn't.. she quit the guild, then later changed her mind.. I don't know what's going on with her..

The trial ended, and the horde woman will be put to death next week..

The guild meeting was next.. there's a lot I have to talk about, with that. So, I'll write about it in the next entry.

[Nikaa]

((Co-written by the players of Nika and Ymit.))

Nika had been interested in improving her weapon skills lately, hoping to pick up the skill of archery. Asking around, it had been Osborne’s suggestion that she take a trip to Darnassus, city of the Night Elves. She had never been to Darnassus before. Now, as she walked along the curving arched pathway, she marveled at the sheer beauty of the Elven City. It felt so serene and peaceful here. Unlike Stormwind, in every way. Slowly, she wandered along the path through the city, noting how quiet it was. Stormwind seemed loud and abrasive, in comparison. She didn’t feel the need to keep to the shadows, as she did in her own city. Not in any particular hurry to find the weaponsmaster, Nika simply walked along, taking in the pleasure of exploring this new place.

As she turned a corner, she gradually became aware of another presence, near her. Not just the sensation of being watched, but the nearly tangible sense of someone standing very close to her, in her personal space. She cast a quick glance over her shoulder, and swore she saw a flicker of movement out of the corner of her eye. Stopping, she turned and looked around carefully. At first, there seemed to be no one around her. Then, she saw him. A brief glimpse of someone standing on the side of the path, further ahead. There wasn’t enough time to get a good look, before he was gone again.

“Hello..?” She called out quietly. Her eyes swept the pathway and the surrounding buildings. All was silent. Suddenly, she felt a touch on her shoulder. Nika spun around, and found herself staring into the eyes of an elf. But not one of the Night Elves of this city. A Blood Elf. Gasping sharply, she took a step back from him. the Blood Elf placed a finger to his lips, motioning for silence. He then turned, beckoned her to follow him, and continued along the walkway. Even as he moved, he began to fade from her sight.

Nika stood there in stunned silence for a moment, trying to make sense of this. She didn’t get the impression that he intended to hurt her. He could have easily done that already, if that was his intention. So what did he want? What reason could be possibly have to want her to follow him? Curiosity outweighed caution, and she took a couple of tentative steps in his direction. She last saw him disappearing into the shadows.. but he seemed to be nowhere. Unsure how she would find him again, she continued in the direction she last saw him. Just ahead, there was a large archway leading into a small indoor glade, with a towering statue of an Elven female. Arms stretched upward, as if offering a shallow basin of water to the sky. Two guards stood watch on either side of the doorway. Suddenly, she saw one of the guards slump, half unconscious. The other was gazing in the other direction, and never even noticed. Nika passed them, and continued into the glade. She paused at the fountain, and looked around. The only sound was that of the trickling water, from the fountain. She saw a glimpse of him, then. He was dashing up the spiral walkway leading up to a terrace, above. She only saw him for that brief instant, before he was gone again. Quickly, she sprinted to try and catch up. By the time she reached the top of the landing, she saw him disappear over the edge of the short wall that looked over the glade and statue, below. Nika ran forward, her hands gripping the top of the wall as she leaned over, to look. There was a narrow ledge just below, that curved around the bottom of the balcony she was standing next to. She saw the Blood Elf slip around the curve, once again losing sight of him.

Clinging to the wall, Ymit planted his feet firmly on the ledge and carefully lowered himself, taking a seat before looking up at Nika. He patted a spot next to him. Nika swung her leg over the edge of the wall and dropped down to the ledge, turning to face Ymit. She was staring at him intently.. clearly, a little bit afraid, but a lot curious. She never took her eyes off of him. But she did sit down, a short distance away. She watched him, tense. Her hand was near the blade she had strapped to her side, but she didn’t make any threatening movements.. yet.

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Ymit looked around the temple calmly, taking in the solemn aura and the glow of the moon’s power on the water. He took a look back at Nika and, taking note of her cautious expression, he slowly reached into his pack and took out a porcelain bell embellished with a figure reaching toward a swan, and held it in front of her as an offering. Nika braced herself when he reached into his pack. Although his motions were slow, she wrapped her hand tightly around the hilt of her dagger, her expression intense. She knew she couldn’t fight him if he did attack, but it at least gave her a shaky sense of security. She did not get any real sense of danger from him, however. When he pulled out the little bell, Nika blinked, recoiling faintly when he held it out to her. Her eyes flicked from the offered bell, to his face.

Ymit nodded and rang the bell before her, then set it on the ground between them. He removed his blades from his hip, laying them on the ground beside the bell, hilt facing her with the point at himself. His eyes returned to hers to read her expression. There was quite a mix of emotions, painted clearly on Nika’s face. Quite a bit of apprehension, but also fascination. She had never seen a Blood Elf before, not up close. She watched the bell when he rang it. For a moment, it almost looked like she might smile. Something in her expression softened, around the eyes. After he set the bell down, she reached out and lightly touched the tip of the handle, then watched him again. “I.. don’t understand..” She finally said. Her voice was a hushed whisper.

Ymit stared at the girl for what seemed like a few minutes after she had spoken, seemingly pondering something, but his expression never changed. After a while, he reached into his pack once again and this time pulled out some carefully wrapped tinder. He unstrung it and setting it up in a pile between the two of them. He then pulled something from a clasp on his belt, which looked like a foldable knife, and pulled two wires from a compartment. He held the wires barely apart from one another, and electricity trickled from one to the other just long enough to set a small flame, which he then nursed.

Nika watched him set up the small pile of tinders, but tensed when he brought out the small contraption with the wires. Once she understood what he was doing, she gradually relaxed again. She was still quite tense, but deeply intrigued by the whole encounter. She watched him fan the flames, studying his face. “You can’t understand me, can you?” Her tone remained hushed. She scooted just a tiny bit closer to the fire.

Finally sitting back down, Ymit let out a sigh and rested his hands on his knees, ignoring her attempt at communication. He brought forth a book with a colorful crest adorning the cover and held it at a safe height above the fire to hand to the her. Nika seemed to finally become convinced he he wasn’t going to hurt her, by now. She watched curiously as he brought out the book, and reached across the fire to carefully take it. She studied the crest on the symbol, before cracking the book open to peek inside.

Ymit quickly leaned over after watching her curiosity get the best of her and eased the book back closed, tapping on the cover and holding his open palm in the air in an attempt to signal patience. Nika flinched when he leaned towards her suddenly, her eyes snapping back to his face. But when he closed the book and motioned to her, she grinned despite herself. “Sorry..” She murmered. She huffed a small sigh.. then pointed at the crest on the cover, and then at him, raisiing her eyebrows in question.

Ymit chuckled at her gestures and grinned, pondering for a moment and looking down. Looking back to her once again, he pointed to the book, then to himself. He gave his ears a gentle tug and balled his hands into fists, turning him over his eyes and trying his best to make a frown. Nika’s grin widened when he returned the smile. Then she grew serious again, watching his gestures intently. He could see the wheels in her head turning, as she tried to make sense of what he was trying to communicate. She chewed at the corner of her lip, and waited.

Ymit took his hands from his eyes to see her expression, and winced. Sighing in frustration, he shook his head and waved his hands dismissively. Nika frowned faintly at the dismissive gesture, her eyebrows pulling together. “Well I’m TRYING.” She grumped, indignant. She tipped her head. “You don’t understand any of what I’m saying, at all?” He chuckled as she finished speaking and bounced the tips of his thumb and index finger lightly, holding his hand out for her to see.

She shot him a look that was halfway between a scowl of exasperation, and a smirk. The language barrier was somewhat frustrating.. but she was also enjoying herself, still amazed at the unlikely encounter. She watched his hand motion, and then leaned over to look closer. Apparently by now, she was satisfied that he wouldn’t harm her.

Ymit stood suddenly, grabbing the bell and his blade, and beckoned for her to follow him, making his way from the temple and trying to stay out of sight. He made his way to the northern edge of Teldrassil’s forest, checking behind him occasionally to make sure his companion was still behind. He stopped at what seemed to be the steep end of a stream, the waterway suddenly turning downward and vanishing over the edge. He turned and grinned toward Nika, then took a running leap onto a tree sprouting out from the side. He turns and crouched, beckoning her toward him.

Nika raced after Ymit as he snuck his way through Darnassus, losing sight of him many times. Each time, she paused and watched for the tell-tale slump of a guard, to indicate which direction he was heading. When they made it to the edge of the waterfall, her steps slowed. She watched him leap over the edge, to catch the tree across the way. She peered over the edge, watching the water rush endlessly down. Her eyes went back to him, and she gathered herself.. taking a breath, and then leaping outward. She saw the heavy branch he was on rushing towards her.. and then past. She gasped and flailed, grasping for anything she could get ahold of. Her hand snagged one branch, thinner than the last. It bowed, snapped.. and she was tumbling downwards again. Another crossed pair of branches slowed her fall until she tumbled to an abrupt stop on a slope of earth jutting from the mountainside below, stunned. Ymit’s eyes widened in horror as she fell out of sight. He made his way down from tree to tree, almost falling off and landing on a stone jutting out from the mountainside. Looking just below him, he spotted her and jumped down, quickly checking her for injury.

She was laying flat on her back beneath some bushes, staring up at the sky, when he reached her. She blinked once, several seconds seeming to drag by slowly. She didn’t move, or speak. Finally, she gasped, dragging in a deep lungful of air. The wind had been knocked out of her, but she was gradually recovering. She coughed a couple of times, then carefully began to move her arms and legs. Nothing appeared to be broken. “Ow.” She whimpered.

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The elf removed her weapons, placing them away from her body, and gently pushed on her shoulders, communicating that she should stay down. He gently placed his fingertips over her ribs, then over his arms and legs as he checked for broken bones. He then reached once more into his pack, taking out a hastily-folded blanket and throwing it over her, muttering under his breath.

She was about to try and sit up, when he gently pushed her back down. She winced when he prodded her ribs. But aside from a bit of bruising, she was alright. The branches above had slowed her fall enough to prevent any serious injury. She watched him carefully as he examined her, still a bit puzzled. “I think I’m ok..” She knew he couldn’t understand her, but she felt compelled to break the silence. She smiled a touch at his muttering. “Sorry..” His concern puzzled her.

A scowl formed as she voiced her apologies and Ymit sat back against the tree, watching her silently.

She watched his scowl, but didn’t seem to get offended as last time. Moving carefully, she eased herself forward to sit up, squirming a bit to remove one of her bulky packs that was lodged under the small of her back. Her eyes went back to Ymit as he sat there, brooding. Her head tilted to one side, and she raised her eyebrows at him.
His scowl slowly faded into a warmer expression as his eyes trailed off toward the descending water. Despite its violence and proximity, there was something about it that he found comforting. He closed his eyes and sat motionless, leaning back against the tree now.

She smiled to him, and when he closed his eyes, she took her first look around. She could tell why he seemed to be drawn to this place. Crawling forward, she peeked over the edge of the cliff, where the water rushed passed. Stunned, at how it dropped out of sight, fading into the mist. She breathed the evening air in through her nose, and looked out over the treetops. It truely was beautiful.

After a few minutes, Ymit opened his eyes slowly. Nika’s absence from her previous spot alarmed him, but it only took a glance upward to see that she was looking out over the edge. “Makogg maka grom. Ogg kaz nakazz ag rath’is”. He shook his head at her, when she turned to look.

Nika turned back at his voice, it was the first time she had heard him speak. “Ogg.. kaz?” She tried to repeat. She couldn’t understand what he was saying, but she could read the expression of concern on his face. She grinned, and laughed quietly. “I’ll be careful, I promise.” She sat back down though, watching him. Another huffed sigh. He could read the frustration on her face, as she searched for a way to communicate with him. “Nikaa..” She said, finally. Motioning at herself.

He reached forward with his right index finger and crudely wrote out the letters “Y-M-I-T” in the dirt, reaching for Nika’s hand with his left and pulling her closer so that she may view it from his angle. He then gestured toward himself and scratched his head, feeling embarassed at his inability. Nika watched as he traced the letters into the earth. Her hand twitched lightly at his touch, but she then relaxed again, moving over to his side to see what he had written. She looked at the letters for a few moments. “Y..mit.” She sat back on her heels, and looked at him. A thousand questions where in her eyes. She glanced around where they were sitting. Leaning to one side, she very slowly reached out towards one of her daggers, that he had removed when she fell. She turned the blade in the grass so the tip was pointing at herself. Then gestured at him, and then at herself. She shook her head slowly and shrugged at him. It was clearly some sort of question.

Ymit watched her movements and finally frowned, shaking his head. It was clear he didn’t understand, but still seemed inquisitive in his actions. Her shoulders slumped when he shook his head. She rolled her eyes upwards, thinking hard. Looking at him, she moved her hand towards her knife again. She kept her eyes on his, her motions extremely slow and careful. Her hand wrapped around the hilt, and she eased it over towards him, not lifting it from the grass until she was very carefully putting the hilt of the knife into his hand. She looked a bit more anxious now, her eyes focused on his. Once he was touching the knife, she motioned to him and then to herself again.. She shrugged more deeply, and shook her head.

Ymit chuckled to himself as he began to understand. He tossed the knife aside and clearly stated “No”. He took her hand and shook it in greeting. “Nikaa.” He stated.

Nika looked surprised when he said a word that she understood. When he tossed the knife away and took her hand, she laughed. She was smiling at him now.. she still looked puzzled, but also pleased. “Why-mit.” She tried to sound the name. “Ogg..”

“Ogg?” He replied back, grinning. He put a finger at Nikaa’s chest, repeating back to her: “Ogg, Nikaa”.

Nika giggled, shaking her head at him. She repeated the one word she had picked up, ‘ogg’, a final time, even though she had no clue what it meant.

Ymit reached over to Nika’s left, where she had left his blanket. He pulled her close next to him and threw an end of the blanket over her other side, then wrapped the other end around himself, laying back against the grass. “Re’ka g maza gesh ogar gi maza kagg gesh maza. Gi gul kagg gul mog maza ko ha mog tov’osh kil.” He muttered drowsily, eyes closing. “L gul raznos ogg il mog thok kek no’ku gi maza tago kagg”.

Her eyes widened when Ymit pulled the blanket over them both, and she hesitated. Did she dare? She lay carefully down in the grass, and listened curiously to his muttering. She lay there for several moments, heart racing. Finally, she put her hand on his arm, touching him. When he looked at her, she smiled.. then crept out from beneath the blanket. She didn’t go terribly far, though. Moving over to the bush nearby, she curled up beneath it, a few feet from where he rested. She pillowed one of her less lumpy pouches under her head and settled down. A compromise. She smiled again to him, and half closed her eyes.

Ymit smirked over at her. “Uruk moth’aga”, he said with a shrug. Then rolling over, he fell asleep.

[Nikaa]

It's been ages since I wrote anything in this journal. I guess that's because everything has been going right for me. I really think I fell in with a good group of people, this time. Not that there was anything wrong with the Crimson Furies, really. Just too much bad blood between me, Amanda and Ari. I supposed I'm disappointed in not making that work and for leaving a second time. I hate that I let them down again.. especially Amanda. As for Jeriko and Coup De Grace.. I've hardly thought about him. I guess maybe I'm moving on.

Invictus Sanctum has been amazing, though. It took me awhile to really find my place here, I think. I just wanted to be accepted, so I worked harder than I have in a really long time. I'm pretty sure Maurdakar didn't even know my name for at least the first month or two. Cambro has been inviting me to come with the guild now, when we investigate different places. I haven't gotten to go to Icecrown Citadel with them yet, I'm still not ready. I'm trying, though.

Cambro said we need to start preparing for things to get worse with the Horde. I'm really confused with that whole situation. Especially after helping out in Outlands and Northrend. I see and hear so many conflicting things. I keep hearing that we're at war, but I spent a lot of time reporting directly to people from Horde-side- mostly Tauren and Blood Elves.

And speaking of Blood Elves, I still never saw the one from Darnassus again. Ymit. I still wonder about that.. and anytime I'm there, I think about him. I went to Silvermoon City recently. Not to look for him, specifically. I had been near there with the guild a couple of nights earlier, and Cambro mentioned that the Troll ruins we were at bordered Horde territory. So, I went back a couple of nights later to explore. That's how I ended up at the Blood Elf capital city. I had never been that far north before. I thought I'd have trouble sneaking in, but the guards didn't see me. I spent quite awhile looking around, but didn't attack anyone. I wasn't there for that. I was just curious about them.

I had found their version of the trade district and was outside the auction house when I saw a woman on horseback, walking along slowly. Somehow, I got the sense that she might be approachable- she looked sort of friendly. I moved over nearer to her and stayed hidden, but coughed to get her attention. She stopped and looked around, but didn't seem concerned. I whispered hello to her, knowing that by my language and accent, she'd know I was Human. She smiled! I was really nervous, but I went ahead and moved out of the shadows for a moment, to let her see me. She just waved to me, and went into a building we were standing in front of. I was even more curious now, so I followed her inside. It was an inn, with some tables and chairs where a group of Horde were sitting. I think it may have been a guild meeting. I thought of Stelson the Tauren, and wondered if that's how he met Invictus Sanctum. The group seemed relaxed and friendly, and the woman I followed inside didn't seem like she was alerting them to anything. So, I waited a couple of moments, then said hello again. Some of them paused and looked around- they seemed wary, but not exactly hostile. I finally came out and let them see me, but stayed across the room so I'd have time to hide if they tried to attack. There was definitely tension in the room, since they didn't know my intentions for being there. My heart was pounding so hard, I felt like I couldn't breathe. But I smiled and said hello a few more times, and kept waving to them, trying to show them that I wasn't going to do anything. One of them looked at me, and said something like 'thromka'. From his tone and the context of it, I'm pretty sure it was some sort of greeting. I said ogg kaz back to them a couple of times, even though I still don't know what it means, but I heard Ymit say it.

I still want to learn how to speak their language. I'm determined to do it, somehow. Everyone keeps insisting that it can't be done, but I'll prove them wrong. If Beija could teach me sign language, I know I can learn Horde. I wonder if I ever find Ymit again, if he'd teach me. I'm not sure how I'd ask, since we can't understand each other. But we knows a few words in our language.. I wonder who taught him? If he can learn, so can I..

But back to my story. A guard must have seen or heard me, because one came running in at that moment and I had to fight. I was afraid that would make them attack me, but they didn't. I managed to fend him off until he ran to get back-up. About that time, a draenai showed up! He suggested I hide before the guards came back, so I did. I was a little confused about him being there. The Horde didn't seem surprised that he was there, and sometimes they were peaceful but randomly they'd all start fighting. Then they'd go back to being peaceful again. I kept asking him if he knew them, but he wouldn't speak to me again. I eventually had to leave because during one of the fights, people were doing magic stuff and I got caught in it. I must have yelped or let myself be seen, because some people who had just came in attacked me. Or maybe it was the ones already there, and things got out of hand with the Draenai and I got pulled into it. I couldn't really see who was attacking me because I was too busy trying to fend them off and get away.

I think I should go back, sometime. I want to see if I can find Ymit. And I also want to see if they're having earthquakes, like we are. Cambro has been asking around for information on that. I'd really love to be able to tell him something.

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[Nikaa]

Last night I went back to Silvermoon City. The main two things I wanted to get accomplished there was to see if I could track down Ymit, and to investigate whether or not they are having the earthquakes there. I'm still learning my way around, but I found the Inn pretty quickly. I wanted to check there first to see if any of the same people were there from last time. There were several people inside, and I did recognize one from last week. He was one of the Undead, possibly a magic caster. I stayed hidden and listened to them talking for awhile, before saying throm'ka. There was a pause, so I kept talking, just to make sure they realized I was there. I didn't want to just appear and startle any of them, which would probably get me killed. Most of them were sitting around a table, so I decided to press my luck and sat down at the one empty seat left at the table. I think that was probably the most nerve-wracking thing I've ever done, because now I was in arms reach of any one of them, and I couldn't see what was going on behind me. They all stopped talking and looked at me. I was sitting across the table from the Undead guy, so I kind of smiled to him and said throm'ka. He nodded to me, and then went back to his conversation with the others! I really couldn't believe they were actually going to let me stay there. Most of them seemed completely unconcerned with me being there- except for the Blood Elf that was sitting to my left. He wasn't having any of it. The longer I sat there, the angrier he looked like he was getting. At that point, he made it crystal clear that I had worn out my welcome by turning around and spitting at me. I was kind of shocked and offended.. but I knew he could have done a lot worse to me than that, so I guess I should be glad I only got a warning. I excused myself from the table and moved back into the shadows, but I wasn't ready to leave yet.

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I hung around for a few minutes and listened to them, when Ymit came walking in. At first I was excited to see him and started to go over to where he was, but I noticed there was a Troll with him that looked kind of menacing. I'm not sure if he heard that there was a Human in the Inn or if he managed to see me, but he started running around casting magic, trying to find me. I had to do a lot of scrambling to get out of the way. At one point, the Troll managed to hit me with whatever he was doing.. it was like the ground was churning up rocks through the floor, which I've never seen before. I got caught in the edge of it, and nearly broke my ankle trying to get away. I know he saw me then. I'm not sure if Ymit did, or not. I'd really like to believe that he didn't know it was me, and wasn't actually participating in seeking me out.. I just can't help but remember what Luthiene told me about what that other Blood Elf did to her..

Luckily, by the time the Troll caught sight of me, I was just ducking around a corner and was able to hide again before he caught up to me. That was more of a close call than I ever want to have. I was hurting pretty badly, my foot and ankle were throbbing so much, I had trouble walking. The Troll was running around trying to find me again, so I had to go outside. It was just too dangerous to stay- it was crowded and easy to get cornered in there, and I could no longer move quickly enough to get out of the way again.

I waited around outside for awhile, hoping that Ymit would come out by himself. After quite a bit of time went by, my ankle was no longer killing me so I snuck back inside, but everyone was gone. There was a back entrance I had forgotten about, so I went that way. Ymit and the Troll were gone, but I saw the Undead guy, the Elf who spit at me, and another woman walking down the road. I followed them, and watched as they picked up a couple of others along the way. I was curious to know where they were going, so I stayed with them as they walked through the city and up a guard-lined walkway into a room draped with silk curtains, and seating pillows scattered around. In the middle of a room, a few people were talking, and I got the sense that they were very powerful and important. I think they might have been some sort of leaders or city officials. The group I was following were heading up a ramp that spiraled up to another level. I hugged the wall and held my breath until I was safely past the leaders and a few guards that were positioned around the room. At the top of the ramp was a large globe that seemed to radiate a lot of magic. One by one, the group I was following touched the globe, and disappeared, until I was alone again.

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I circled the thing a couple of times, wondering what would happen if I touched it. It was obviously some sort of teleporter, but I had no idea what might be on the other side, or how much danger I'd find myself in if I used it. I knew it was extremely risky or even suicidal to try, but I couldn't stand not knowing. So, even though magic makes my skin crawl, even though it was ridiculously dangerous, I reached out and touched my fingers to the surface of the globe.

Nothing happened. Whatever magic it was, it wouldn't work for me. I slowly exhaled the breath I didn't know I was holding, and felt my muscles unknot. Even though I really wanted to know where it went, I know it was bad news. But the fact that I at least tried it was enough to let me walk away without always wondering, or feeling like a coward for not trying.

A lot more happened, but I've been writing for a really long time now, so I'll have to save the rest of the story for tomorrow.

[Nikaa]

After I left the building with the teleport globe, I wandered around the city for a little while. I did notice that in the couple of hours that I'd been there, I didn't feel a single earthquake. I wish I could have asked someone there about that. I also didn't see any signs of those elemental rifts in the city, although I did see one in the woods on my way there. I'm not sure if the two things are related, but they are at least being affected by the rifts.

As I was exploring, I saw a Tauren walking along on a huge kodo. He looked deep in thought and he was by himself, so I thought I'd try to approach him and see what happened. I caught up with him as he was steering his kodo down a shallow flight of stairs onto one of the lower sections of street. I hopped up onto the ledge next to them and followed him down, and just started talking to him. I don't know why, since I knew he couldn't understand a word I was saying. I guess it was just that I had been through so much that night- all the tension, being attacked and spit at, trying to sneak around for hours without being caught, trying to find Ymit and keep up with the Undead guy and his friends, the frustration from trying to piece together what people were saying and not understanding a word of it (other than hello, the only thing I've been able to pick up on so far).. I guess after all of that, I just felt like talking to someone.So I did. I walked along the railing until it ran out and then hopped down, walking along beside him but just out of sight, and told him all about my trip to Silvermoon, what I had done and seen. About the earthquakes and how I was trying to figure out what was causing them..

The whole time I was talking, the Tauren just walked along and listened. He didn't seem surprised or concerned that I was there. Only after a few minutes did he actually stop and look around. I had been trailing along after him, rambling on about nothing, and had to quickly stop before I ran into his kodo. I backed up and looked at him, and asked if he'd not attack me if I came out and let him see me. But he was already shrugging, and moving on. I followed along after him again, until he walked up to a fountain near the auction house and got off his kodo. He walked up to the very edge of the fountain and stood there, looking into the water. I stood next to him. "What's with the fountain?" I asked him, and looked at the water then back up at him. He just stood there in silence, not moving. I wandered around for a couple of minutes, watching the people come and go from the auction house and looking back at him every so often. There was something about the way he stood there so motionless, hardly reacting to anything, that made me feel like he was thinking of someone, or he was sad, or maybe both. I went back over to him. "I hope you aren't praying, or something." I said. I moved over to stand next to him, and leaned against the edge of the fountain, watching our reflections in the water. I saw him turn his head and finally look at me for the first time. I grinned up at him, and he blinked. He turned back to face the water again, and after a few minutes, I decided to check the Inn for Ymit. I said goodbye to the Tauren and went back inside.

The Inn was empty, so I went upstairs to look around a little bit. There was a book laying open on the floor of one of the rooms. I picked it up, and saw it said something about Lordaeron on the cover, but I couldn't read the rest of it. I wish I had thought to take it. Maybe I could have used it to try and figure out some of their language. Next time I go back there, I'm going to take one. I flipped through the pages for a couple of minutes, then got bored and went back outside.

The Tauren was still there, only now he was sitting on the ground with his back against the fountain. He looked so funny, with his big feet - or hooves- sticking out in front of him. "Wow, you're still here?" I asked him. "Are you bored?" He looked bored. Or lonely, or like he was waiting for someone. I looked around the area and didn't see anyone nearby. I could see a few people inside the auction house, but they had their backs to us. I walked back over to the Tauren and came out where he could see me. I sat down in the grass right in front of him, facing him. He blinked and got such a comical look on his face that I started laughing. "Hey, don't you ever talk?" I realized then that in all this time, he had never said a word. He just watched me. "Ok, this is making me nervous," I told him. Sitting out in the open like that, in the middle of the city was way too nerve-wracking for me. I got back up and moved into the shadows again. The Tauren looked around and shrugged. "Well, I'm scared someone is going to attack me."

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Suddenly, he started talking! It didn't sound like the same language I've heard from most other Horde. I guess it makes sense that there would be more than one language, since I know the Night Elves and the Draenai use theirs now and then. I was so happy to actually get to hear his voice, and he must have seen it on my face, because he smiled at me. He opened up a lot more, after that. I started to talk a lot more again, too. Mostly, I was pointing out people coming in and out of the auction house that looked like they weren't very friendly, and commenting on it. Sometimes when they'd come too close, I'd tuck myself in closer to him and the fountain so they wouldn't see me. It wasn't lost on me that he could crush me without a thought- I'm pretty sure one of his arms was bigger than my whole body. He didn't seem to mind, though. He was talking a lot more, now. It sounded so different, less harsh than what I've heard most of the others speaking.

At one point, he yawned and I realized I was getting tired, too. I hung around for a little bit longer. I was enjoying myself and didn't want to leave, but I knew I had a long trip back and I didn't dare camp anywhere further north than Southshore. Eventually, I waved goodbye to the Tauren, and left.

I had almost made it back out through the entrance to the city, when something hard and very sharp slammed into my back. I fell forward and tried to stumble for the shadows, but I could hear snarling and felt teeth and claws tearing into me. I ran blindly, feeling everything go hazy as the tip of the arrow embedded in my back scraped against my shoulder blade. The only thing a rogue has to really fear is a hunter- and after spending hours in Silvermoon City, one found me only steps from leaving.

I don't recall much of what happened after that. I came too against a hillside later, after losing a good amount of blood and time. I managed to bandage myself up well enough to travel, and got out of there. It was a painful end to a great night, but it was worth it. I got the answers I had been looking for, as far as the earthquakes and elemental rifts, go. Next, I have to check the other Horde cities.. Orgimmar, Thunder Bluff and Undercity. I'll start that tomorrow.

[Nikaa]

Stelson came to the guild meeting last night. It's been a long time since I've seen him- the last time was when we escorted him back to the Barrens, a few months ago. Recently, Cambro took us there and showed us Stelson's hut, tucked away on the side of a mountain, overlooking a cave. He wasn't there that night, which was disappointing.

Tonight, when I saw him, I was able to greet him in his own language for the first time. It was a good meeting. Cambro called me up and said that they had noticed I've been around for awhile now and I'm active in the guild, so he promoted me to a higher rank. That really meant a lot to me. I was able to report my findings on the earthquakes and cultist activities in Silvermoon City, Orgimmar, Thunder Bluff and Undercity/Brill.

I spent most of last week exploring those cities. Silvermoon by far is the easiest to get around in, and the people there seem more tolerant and approachable than the other Horde cities. The guards there are completely ineffective. Thunderbluff surprised me a little bit, though. Since the Tauren are the most peaceful, I didn't expect much problem in their city. It was reasonably easy to get in, although I wouldn't want to try it without being really good at not being seen. They are perched way atop the bluffs with wooden lifts used to get up and down, so anyone just trying to walk in would be seen from a mile away, and completely exposed on the lifts. Of course, I went right up with no problem, but once I was there I realized that some of their guards were way more attentive than the ones in Silvermoon.

I was nearly caught when I had stopped to watch three Tauren in bear and cat form playing in the water of a small pond, while a few others stood around it, fishing. I was so amused by watching them, that I didn't notice one of the guards patrolling in my direction until he had gotten fairly close. There were several people on the road behind me, so my only option in those few seconds was to wade in past the three that were playing, and stand in the center of the group that was fishing. I stood there, in water up to my waist, trying not to disturb any of the fishing bobbers that floated around me. The half dozen Tauren near me remained completely oblivious to my being there. But the guard halted on the road and stared in my direction, looking directly at me. I went absolutely still, and watched him closely. A second ticked by, then another. The guard scowled at the water, his eyes searching. Then, everything happened at once. Shouting in outrage, the guard came charging forward into the water, sending it spraying up around him. He reached back over his shoulder and drew a huge axe, swinging it at me. He was fast, but I was prepared. I had a small smoke bomb ready. Reacting quickly, and before the guard was able to connect with his axe, I threw up my smoke and created a second or two of diversion to confuse the guard and the five or six other Tauren who were immediately around me. I darted out of the water and was behind a tent an instant later, but the entire town was now in an uproar. People were running in every direction and many were yelling angrily.

I rememebred how the Troll in Silvermoon had found me by running around, casting magic over the area. I knew the same thing would happen here, only there wasn't enough room up on the bluff to evade that kind of situation for very long. I didn't even bother looking for the lifts. I knew that exit had been immediately searched and cut off already. The only other way out was down. Fortunately, the one thing I'm best at is escaping nearly any situation. I can also handle a fall many times higher than most could ever survive. So, faced with a barrage of magic or a free-fall over a cliff.. I jumped.

Undercity was similar. Getting in was no problem at all, but once I was inside I could see that it was all platforms and walkways. And even though there wasn't very many people there, the guards were just as hard to avoid as the one in Thunder Bluff. The narrow walkways made it impossible to go undetected, and after having to use another smoke bomb I quickly left, and focused on exploring the areas outside of Undercity and around its smaller neighboring town, Brill. Like Thunder Bluff- I noticed some earthquakes, but no evidence of the elemental rifts.

Of all of them, my trip to Orgimmar was the most eventful - and difficult- because I wasn't alone. On my way to the zeppelin tower near Booty Bay, I ran into Antony. Once he found out where I was heading, he insisted on coming along. I reminded him that I'd be sneaking in, and there was no way the Orcs would let him just walk into Orgimmar.

"I know." He said, simply. "Are you ready?"
"I guess so.. but I mean it," I told him. "I'm going in peacefully. That means NO fighting."
"Sure. Are you ready?"

I sighed, wondering how this would play out with a human warrior trying to enter Orgimmar without any confrontation. But I could see from the stubborn set of his jaw that he was going, whether I liked it or not.

"Fine. But remember- no fighting!"

Antony was already up on his horse, and charging off through the woods. I shook my head and raced to catch up. Before I could even get inside the fenced off zeppelin area,I could hear the sounds of fighting and angry shouting. I slipped through the gate and saw Antony running around the enclosure, with several Orc guards hot on his heels.

"You promised!" I yelled at him.
"Well, they started it!" he retorted.
I groaned and watched as he dispatched the guards that were after him.
"Hurry up!" He said as he rushed for the zeppelin tower.

We made it to the top just as the airship was docking. I snuck down the steps to the lower level of the zeppelin while Antony fended off the goblins above. Finally, he joined me downstairs and we stood on the tiny platform on the back of the ship, watching the treetops skim beneath us as the zeppelin made it's way towards Orgimmar.

(To be continued)

[Nikaa]

The trip to Orgimmar seemed to take a long time. I sat crouched on the small observation platform beneath the airships propeller, balanced on the balls of my feet with my back braced up against the metal grate wall. Antony wandered aimlessly back and forth between the platform and the lower floor of the zeppelin as I watched the landscape change beneath us. The lush grass and trees gradually grew more sparse, and the green below eventually gave way to the harsh brown and orange hues of the desert floor, as we reached Durotar. Antony and I didn't have a lot to say to each other, and the majority of the trip was made in silence.

After awhile, I could see Orgimmar appearing in the distance. I stood up and leaned over the railing for a better look, as we began our approach. Orgimmar seemed huge, and densely populated compared to the other Horde cities. Antony pointed out a hill we were about to pass over, explaining that we needed to jump down and approach the city from a distance. I readied myself, and when he gave the word, I swung myself up and over the metal railing. I dropped down lightly onto the baked earth below, immediately melting into the shadows beneath a tall cactus and a cluster of boulders. Antony, on the other hand, hit the ground running and charged off towards Orgimmar. I stared after him, losing sight of him within seconds. "Antony!" I hissed. But he was already gone.

It was just as well. I could never keep up with his tendency to go rushing headfirst into any situation. This way, I could move along at my own pace. As I walked along the dirt road leading towards the city, I passed a small group of Orcs sparring with one another, and watched them for a couple of minutes. Nearby, I spotted just what I was looking for. A group of cultists had set up a temporary base near the gates of Orgimmar. Just like by Stormwind. Apparently, whatever reason the cults or elements have for attacking, they're targeting the Horde, as well.

I was still pondering the implications of that, when who should come slinking out of the shadows and to my side in cat form, but Maurdakar.
"Ok, I have three things to steal. Let's go!" He announced, as if it was completely natural to him that we'd run into each other in Orgimmar.
"What.. Maur?"
He was already hurrying away, hugging his body close to the ground in typical cat-like fashion, as he streaked towards the back gates.
"What are you doing here? Did you see Antony?" I had to break into a half job to keep up with him.
Maurdakar swiveled his head around to peer up at me. "Antony is here to help, too? Excellent."
"Help you with what?" I asked him, exasperated and confused.
"Oh." He flicked an ear. "You aren't here to help me? I was sent on this mission by the S:I7. It's very important. I guess they didn't trust you with the information. Oh well." He continued on, padding up the ramp towards the two guards that flanked the entrance on either side.
"Will you wait??" I felt slightly annoyed- clearly, my stealth and talent for sneaking in and out of places were far beyond anything he was capable of. But this was not the time to let my pride get the best of me. I hurried up the ramp, passing Maurdakar just in time to sap one of the guards before he got any closer. (I'd like to see Maurdakar do that.)
"This way." I whispered to Maurdakar, and led the way into the city.

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Orgimmar felt loud and abrasive, to me. Completely over populated, mostly by Orcs and Trolls. They seemed to spill out of the stone buildings and into the narrow, dirt packed streets, all of them talking and yelling over each other. I hugged a wall, trying to keep up with Maurdakar as he skirted around feet and vendor carts, urging me to follow. I lost sight of him at some point, finding myself on and upper road carved out of the side of a hill. Directly below me was a series of rooftops from the buildings on a lower level of street. Grateful for a space less crowded and a far better vantage point, I hopped down onto one of the rooftops. Feeling like I could breathe again, I walked along the rooftop to the edge and made the short jump to the next roof over. Moving to the middle of the roof, I looked down at the sprawl of city below and was decided what to do next, when I had to duck to narrowly avoid a pair of hooves that came sailing over my head. I was still recovering from the shock of that when a huge kodo came crashing down next to me, with an Orc warrior on its back. I turned around to see where they were coming from, and realized that the flight master platform was directly above me, and I had wandered into a preferred short cut to the street below. Quickly crossing to the next roof, I continued along them and watched below for Maurdakar or Antony. I was feeling much better now, thinking maybe I could more easily cross the city via the roofs and avoid the over crowded streets below.

"Get off the roof get off the roof get off the roof!!" I heard Maurdakar's voice from beneath me, and peeked over the edge. He was stalking back and forth, peering up at me as his tail swished in agitation.
"Get off the roof GET OFF THE ROOF!!" I had never heard such urgency coming from Maurdakar before. He had always been the one to make jokes or poke fun at any situation, no matter how serious it was. I looked around in puzzlement. Had he seen someone behind me? I was alone.
"HURRY! Go! Get down now!!
He was sounding more frantic with each passing second, and it was starting to make me nervous. I moved back to the edge of the roof.
"Jump! Jump! Get down from there!!"
Trusting his judgement, I took a breath and jumped down blindly, sensing that I couldn't spare even an extra second to see what was below me. I landed in the doorway of a shop, nearly on top of an Orc who was standing there. The Orc half turned with a grunt of surprise, and I retreated into the shadows. But it was too crowded here. Someone jostled me, and I dodged around another as the first was turning. I was being seen, but all I could do was keep moving through the crowd, forcibly shouldering past them and losing them in the mash of people before they could realize what I was.

My nerves were shot and my tongue felt like it was plastered to the roof of my mouth.
"Don't you know about the rogue catchers?" Maurdakar raced along side of me, chastising me as he made our way through the streets.
I was listening, but kept my eyes locked ahead as I searched for the clearest path out of the crush of people that congregated outside the nearby auction house.
"There are stealthed Troll guards on all the rooftops with nets, they're up there to catch rogues or people trying to sneak around." Maurdakar explained.
The crowd was beginning to thin a little bit as we got some distance from the auction area. I spotted a narrow corner where two buildings connected, and squeezed past the water barrel that sat in front of it.
"I didn't see any." I finally managed.
"You got really lucky, that's all."

"Guys? Where are you?" I heard Antony's voice faintly over the Gnomish communication device I carried with me. I fished it out of my pocket.
"Antony? I'm here with Maurdakar. Where are you??"
"I've taken the tower!" I could hear the sounds of fighting and angry voices in the background. "Come meet me here!"
I frowned, and blinked down at Maurdakar. "What TOWER?" Already, I could hear the defense sirens sounding across the city, and people began rushing past the street, heading in that direction.
Maurdakar looked at me and then turned tail, disappearing through the crowd as he went to join Antony. I watched him go and groaned inwardly, lifting the communicator and speaking into it.
"Guys, I didn't come here for this. I'll catch up with you later on, back in Stormwind." I know I should have done this alone. There was no response from either Maurdakar or Antony, but from the commotion I could hear from that side of the city, they were pretty busy.

Thankfully, the section of street I was on was beginning to clear out. I slid my back down the wall until I was sitting, with the barrel further hiding me from view. I poked around in my pack until I found some dried meat wrapped in wax paper and an apple, so I took a few minutes to rest and have a snack while I waited for things to calm down enough to find my way back out of Orgimmar. Despite the unexpected company, I had gotten enough information to consider my investigations complete.

[Nikaa]

I wonder what Saruron would think about my excursions to Silvermoon City? That's been on my mind lately, given the events of the past couple of days. I haven't seen him in months, though. I hope he hasn't been killed or captured.. I kind of liked Saruron, he was interesting. But I'm sure if he knew what I've been up to, he'd kill me himself.

It started with the book. I went back to the Silvermoon Inn recently and stole one, hoping that it might somehow help me learn more of their language. Later that same night, I saw a Blood Elf that I recognized. The last time I saw him was in Lakeshire.. the same night that I last saw Saruron. It was at the trial and attempted execution of Svetlaena, a Blood Elf accused of sneaking into Stormwind and stealing a book. I didn't even make the connection until yesterday. Now here I am, with a book in my backpack stolen from Silvermoon City. There were other charges against her, but I don't really remember what they were or if they were even true or not.

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The most interesting part about Svetlaena was that she was speaking common. I vaguely remember some parts of the trial. "Since when is knowledge a crime?", she had asked.
"Don't give me that, Svetlaena." Countered Saruron. "You have hundreds of books in Silvermoon. Why take ours?"
Now I'm wondering- why was Svetlaena stealing books from Stormwind? And how did she learn to speak Common? Now, I think I'd like to track her down and find out more about why she was actually there, and who she is.

As for the Paladin, I saw him that day, in Lakeshire. A group of us had followed Saruron and his prisoner to Lakeshire for the execution. I was there primarily out of curiosity. I don't think it was a surprise to anyone when a huge group of Horde showed up to rescue her. Funny thing is, I only remembered one person from that night. He stood out to me for some reason, and even though I never saw him since then, I recognized his face when I found him sitting by himself, in the inn.

My first instinct when I saw him was to retreat outside. Unlike the Tauren or even the undead guy, I didn't feel safe approaching him, especially given the circumstances of when I saw him last. My curiosity got the better of me, though. After a few minutes, he had come outside and was about to leave, when I spoke up.
"I remember you." I had spoken quietly, and only once he was past me and his back was turned.
He slowed, then stopped and looked around. I don't know a lot about Paladins, but I'm pretty sure they're capable of at least some magic. The brush with the Troll last week had left me even more wary of the casters than ever before, so I backed away several feet and watched as he checked inside a few of the nearby buildings. Once he'd given up his search and was back out on the street, I moved just near enough that he'd hear me.

"From Lakeshire, that day. I remember you."
"No."
The single word was uttered frankly, and drew a look of surprise from me. I circled around in front of him, but continued to keep several feet between us. He stood there calmly, and seemed to be waiting. His hands were not near his weapons, and he didn't look like he planned to attack. After brief consideration, I moved from the shadow of the buildings into another patch of darkness, allowing him only a blink of time to see me. He nodded once. Then, he beckoned me to follow him, and moved along the street. He led me a few blocks away to more quiet area of the city, less patrolled by guards. He moved up a few steps onto a flight of stairs and then turned, waiting.

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"Ok.." I said, slowly. "If I come out, you're not going to attack me, right?"
The Paladin nodded. I gave him a hard look, and edged forward into view. He watched me.
"Wait. Can you understand what I'm saying?" I asked, dubiously.
"Hey, slow down, doll. My Common isn't that great."
I stared at him. "Where'd you learn to speak common?"
"I picked some up awhile ago, when I was doing some mercenary work." The Paladin shrugged. "So what were you rambling on about, back there? Something about remembering me, and Lakeshire?"

I winced inwardly. Had I known he could actually understand me, that little event would be the last thing I'd bring up.
Oh, I was there during an attack awhile ago," I said vaguely. As often as the Horde attack our cities, I figured that was a safe enough answer.
"Hm. I remember helping to rescue Svetlaena there a couple months back. I hope you weren't part of that." He frowned at me. "Who are you, girl?"
"I'm Nika." I replied, then steered the conversation towards the elemental invasions, once again not giving him a direct answer about Lakeshire. I really didn't want to delve any deeper into that topic, and give him any ideas or reason to attack me. Through talking to him, I discovered that he works as a mercenary under contract, which was why he didn't try to kill me on sight. He didn't have any reason to. He also told me that they've been having as much trouble with the elementals and earthquakes as we have, but they don't have any idea what's causing it, either.
"Whatever it is, it's big," he told me.

It wasn't until later in the conversation that I thought to ask his name. He introduced himself as Kained De Leon. It was an interesting conversation, but I don't trust him and I never let my guard down. I get the impression that killing me or speaking to me would make no difference to him either way. It's just a matter of what would benefit him the most, at the time. I'm familiar with that mentality.
"Maybe I'll find some use for you," he mentioned towards the end of the conversation, which summed up my impression of him fairly accurately.
"Maybe", was my only answer to that. I am curious to know what he'd ask of me. Doesn't mean I'd commit to anything. Depends on what he needs, and if he'd be willing to teach me some of the language, in exchange.

It may be worth a trip back very soon, to find out more. Besides.. I'd like to find Svetlaena. I have some questions for her.

[Nikaa]

Last night we were having our weekly guild meeting, and I heard the sounds of the guards fighting, downstairs. Not long ago, Cambro mentioned that the Horde have been getting increasingly hostile, and I've seen plenty of evidence of that over the past couple of weeks. I spent hours yesterday defending the Stormwind gates as Horde tried to repeatedly to sneak or rush in. It's bad enough that the elementals are getting worse.. to the point that they've been having to evacuate the city multiple times a day. Now on top of that, the Horde have been targeting us harder than ever.

When I heard the guards fighting someone downstairs last night, I was hardly surprised. I gave Cambro a look and he ndoded, so I hugged the wall and slipped downstairs to scout the situation. I expected to see maybe a couple of Horde down there, so I was shocked to find two summoning portals and at least fifteen or so Horde. And it gets worse.. it looked like all of them were wearing the same guild crest as Kained De Leon. I didn't see Kained.. but his whole guild was there, attacking OUR guildhall. I don't know what it was about, but I think Luthiene was right. No Blood Elf can be trusted. Not Kained, not Ymit. Not any of them.

I may stop my trips to Silvermoon. I think I'm over wasting my time on the Blood Elves. Cambro may be right. It may be time for war. And with the elementals and the Horde attacking our cities constantly, I should probably stay here where I'm needed, to help defend.

It's starting to get cold, too. Between the seasons changing and the elementals stirring up so much bad weather, I just can't camp out in the woods anymore. I woke up sick, today. My lungs and chest hurt when I breathe, and I think I'm getting a fever. I need to decide if I'm going to try and rent a room at the inn for the winter, or see if I can stay in the guild hall like some of the others do. I don't feel comfortable staying with others.. but constant armor repairs are expensive, and I don't know if I can afford an inn on top of everything else. Goldshire is cheaper than Stormwind, but I wouldn't want to try staying there more than a night or two.

I need to talk to Cambro tonight. I need to tell him about Kained and the book I stole. And maybe ask if I can stay in the guild hall until spring.

I can't write anymore right now, I feel like shit.

[Nikaa]

Saturday, December 11th

A light sheen of water coated the wooden shingles of the rooftops, as well as the cobblestone street below. It was lightly misting. Not quite a drizzle, just enough to darken the sky as late evening approached, shrouding the city of Stormwind in a light haze. The less than favorable weather was not enough to keep Nika inside, however. Her boots squeaked softly as she found traction on the slick surface of the rooftop she was crossing. It was her preferred method of moving about through the city. From her vantage point above, she could see much of what was going on below her, while remaining unseen. As she walked along one of the overhangs and prepared to make the leap over to the next building, she spotted a familiar figure below. Luthiene was just exiting one of the shops and stepped into the alley behind the street. Intrigued, Nika moved to the edge of the roof and studied her friend, below. Luthiene was probably one of her closest friends in the guild, and had just recently returned after being away for a few months.

Crouching at the edge of the roof, Nika hopped down to land on top of a stack of crates below her. When Luthiene turned at the sound, Nika flashed her a smile.

"Hey, Luthiene. What're you doing back here?" Nika stepped down from the crates and wandered over to where Luthiene faced her.

"Oh. Just picking up a few odds and ends." Luthiene answered, evasively.

"Well, I was just on my way to the lake to do some fishing-" Nika began.

"You had best be on your way, then." Luthiene cut her off abruptly, already starting to walk away. "I won't keep you."

Nika furrowed a brow at Luthiene's back as the woman walked away from her. That had felt very much like a dismissal. It wasn't the first time Luthiene had acted so coldly. Since she had returned from her travels and saw what had happened in Auberdine, she had taken it understandably hard, and her mood lately had been erratic. She was about to call after Luthiene, and invite her to come along with her, when she saw something drop from the folds of Luthiene's cloak and roll to a stop against the gutter.

"Hey, you dropped something.." Nika bent to pick up what appeared to be a small glass vial filled with some sort of liquid, when Luthiene turned and snatched it quickly away. Nika looked closely at her. She was acting unusually nervous, and suspicious. Nika knew better than to push. If she let on that she knew something was up, it would only put Luthiene more on the defensive. The only way to get to the bottom of Luthiene's strange behavior was to make sure the woman kept her guard down.

"Ok, Luthiene. I'll see you later, then." Nika faked an easy smile and headed out of the alley. As soon as she was out of sight, she hurried over to the side of the shop and used a trash barrel to climb her way back up to the roof. By the time she doubled back, she had nearly missed Luthiene. At first, she thought she had. But then she saw the woman disappearing around a corner, as cleverly hidden in the shadows as Nika tended to do. Luthiene rounded a corner, leaving the alley and moving back onto the street. Nika followed from a safe distance above, always keeping Luthiene in sight, but far enough back that she'd have time to duck behind a chimney or a steepled roof, if Luthiene were to look back.

Luthiene moved through the streets with purpose, until arriving at a little shop in Old Town that was quite familiar to Nika. When she went inside, Nika moved to the doorway, but did not enter. She watched the transaction as Luthiene passed some coins to Jasper Fel in exchange for several glass vials of poison. If she hadn't been acting so secretive about the whole thing, Nika wouldn't have thought twice about it. She herself kept her blades coated with toxins, and it wouldn't be any surprise if Luthiene treated her arrows in the same manner. No, it was growing pretty evident that the hunter had more sinister plans for her purchase.

For the better part of an hour, Nika tailed Luthiene across the city. Several other stops were made, and more purchases obtained. Luthiene grew increasingly cautious as time passed, going to great lengths to cover her tracks, forcing Nika time and time again to duck around vendor carts or down canal passageways to keep Luthiene in sight yet not get caught as the woman often doubled or tripled back, casting looks over her shoulder constantly. Nika felt guilty for spying on the woman. It went against her personal code of ethics to spy on a friend. But whatever Luthiene was up to, it was huge. This was made more evident near the end of her trip through Stormwind. When Luthiene paused in an alleyway to uncap a potion and drink down its contents. Nika watched with disbelief as the Elven woman was transformed into a male Elf with long white hair. A few streets later, she repeated the process, time time doubling back as a short little goblin. The tremendous effort Luthiene was putting into not being discovered assured Nika that her friend was indeed up to something very significant.

Only once Luthiene had reached Stormwind harbor did she finally return to her natural form. Nika watched carefully to see which direction Luthiene was heading. In the distance, she could see the ship from Darnassus approaching the dock Luthiene was waiting on. Not wanting to risk detection by following her onto a dock that offered little to no cover, Nika had to think quickly. Rushing over to a nearby stable hand, she rented one of the flight gryphons and quickly swung up onto its massive shoulders. Grabbing the reigns, Nika hung on tightly and guided the gryphon straight up, high above the harbor. When the boats and people below looked like tiny toys and Nika was sure that she was high enough up to not be noticed, she steered the animal out over the docks. Finding the purple sails of the Darnassian ship, she flew the gryphon directly overhead. Digging her legs into the sides of the animal, she held her breath and urged the gryphon into a dive. The beast screeched and tucked in its wings, and they plummeted downward. Nika's eyes watered as the cool air rushed past, and the ship seemed to loom up beneath her. As they neared the sails, she yanked at the reigns. The gryphon snapped out its wings, cupping the air to slow their descent. When they were even with the main sail, Nika leapt from the back of the gryphon. Reaching out, she caught hold of the heavy fabric and slid to a stop with her feet braced against the bottom of the mast, and her palms burning like fire from the friction. She finally released the breath she had been holding, and silently climbed down to the heavy base of the mast. She could see Luthiene standing below on the deck, with her large tiger stretched out next to her. Keeping the mast between herself and Luthiene, she lowered herself to sit and breathed in the tangy salt air as the ship pulled away from the deck.

After arriving in Darnassus, Nika waited until Luthiene and her tiger had left the ship before following. She didn't have far to go this time. She watched Luthiene enter the lodge near the ship docks. After waiting for the woman to disappear upstairs, Nika crept up quietly. Poised on the landing, she watched as Luthiene silently withdrew a dart from a pouch at her belt. She inched closer until she could see a man perusing a bookshelf on the upper level, unaware of Luthiene behind him. When the dart struck him in the back of the neck, the man made a startled sound, and then slumped bonelessly to the floor. Alarmed at first, Nika breathed a sigh of relief to see the man's chest still rising and falling, apparently asleep from the drugged dart. She settled on the landing, making herself comfortable as Luthiene unpacked her purchases- the vials of poison, some flour and spices, and a small portable camp stove. Time stretched endlessly on as Luthiene prepared her mysterious concoction. Nika never disturbed her, or lost patience in waiting. Whatever Luthiene intended to do next was what Nika most wanted to discover.

Hours ticked by, before Luthiene started packing up her things. Instantly alert, Nika slipped back down the stairs and waited behind some trees near the lodge, outside. Luthiene emerged from the lodge, with her large cat padding along at her side. Nika trailed behind them, as Luthiene headed for the flight master. Suddenly, Luthiene stopped dead in her tracks, and looked behind her.

"Hello?" She called out. Her eyes swept the area, suspiciously. The tiger rumbled low in his chest, one ear curving to the side.
Nika froze in mid-step and waited, willing herself to blend into the shadows.
"Where are you?" Luthiene said quietly, gazing around. Reaching down, she pulled a flare from her bag and lit it, then tossed it out in front of her, near where Nika was hiding.
The flare hissed and sizzled, illuminating the area in a pool of light. Nika scrambled to one side, trying to get away from the flare, but it was too late. Her cover blown, she faced Luthiene, prepared for the inevitable confrontation. But she was not prepared for what happened next.

"I'm sorry." Luthiene said, and reached back over her shoulder, drawing her hunting bow. Nika stared in disbelief as Luthiene pulled an arrow from the quiver strapped to her back. She spun around, running as hard as she could for a cluster of rocks, as Luthiene nocked the arrow. It was not a sleeping dart that slammed into her, embedding itself into her back. Pain exploded through her, sending her screaming as she pitched forward. She heard the tiger snarl behind her, a split second before he hooked his massive claws into her back and leg, dragging her to the ground. Another arrow caught her in the shoulder. A third buried itself into her side. Blinded by pain and shock, her vision dimmed around the edges as consciousness slipped away.

"Forgive me, friend." Luthiene's whisper sounded miles away. "Forgive me."

[Nikaa]

Apparently, I'm lucky to be alive.

The priests here at the cathedral say that they didn't expect me to live. From what I've been told, I was placed under a magically induced coma for several days while a small group of both healers and medics worked on getting me stabilized again. Then, it was just a matter of waiting.

They weren't able to contact next of kin, or my guild, or anyone else to let them know where I was, because they didn't know who I was, since I had been very careful to remove anything that could trace back to my identity before I left. That precaution was taken so that in the event that I might be killed or captured during my mission, I couldn't be used as a hostage or to lure any of my guild who might try to rescue me.

As for the mission itself - it was a failure. This time. I won't give up, though. And I will be back. I had gone to Southshore with the intention of finding out specifically who was responsible for the destruction of the town. I had found several banners that appeared to be guild crests, so I destroyed them and set off the alarms, hoping to draw out some members of that guild. My intention was never to fight them, then and there. My intention was never to even be seen. The plan was simply to draw them out, and then follow them back to their guild hall, or wherever they might gather in a group- hopefully not within Undercity. I needed their location. Once I had that, then a full scale attack could be planned. This was purely a reconnaissance mission.

I still think it would have worked, even when one mage showed up and started trying to flush me out with magic. I wasn't playing into that trap, and I was not about to come out of hiding.

Until Micael showed up. He quite literally fell out of the sky, practically on top of the mage. I had to make the decision then, to stay hidden and let them fight it out.. or to step in, and help. I chose to step in. That decision brought me closer to dying than I ever have been, before. And I don't regret it for a second.

It's hard to explain in just words on paper. But there will always be other missions. There will always be Horde to fight. But the odds against there being another moment like that one are stacked pretty high. Had we simply passed each other on the street, we'd keep going our separate ways. Me, because I tend to not talk to people I don't know. Him, because he would have never seen me. In Southshore, we were thrown together into a situation where we depended on each other for survival. Mostly, it was him keeping me alive, If I hadn't died in the fire, I would have died to the mage. He pulled me off of him. I wasn't thinking about escape, in that moment. I wasn't fighting for my life. I was fighting to the death.

He says he's in The Seventy Third. That makes a lot of sense. I have nothing but respect and gratitude towards that guild. This is the second time one of them has bailed me out.

I'm also very grateful to Kirana. A man named Charles Onderon was flagged down by Micael and brought me to safety, and Micael was left behind. Kirana showed up and rescued him, from what I hear. So I owe her, too. After all we went through, if Micael had died there when I got out, I wouldn't be able to handle that..

When I saw him last night in Stormwind, my first impulse was to hug him. I held back, at the last moment. Things felt awkward, at first.. after fighting together against the Forsaken, jumping out of burning buildings, running through the woods, it felt surreal to be standing on a quiet, peaceful street and just talking with him.

He had to leave, shortly after. But I hope I run into him again. I hope I get a chance to know him.

[Nikaa]

I'm about to make life difficult for some people.

By this, I mean I personally am about to go to war against a group known as the Redblade Corsairs. I wasn't aware of them until yesterday. I was flying over the ruins of the old park when I saw a group of people hiding in the wreckage and talking. They looked suspicious, so I snuck in and hid inside a broken building nearby to listen. Turns out I hit on something big. They were planning an assassination on someone, and intended to pin the murder on The Seventy Third.

I tracked down Altherion to warn him. He called Branngas for back up, and we managed to corner the group in the Deeprun Tram station just as they had their target surrounded.

We saved the elf, but Altherion was wounded in the process, and got separated from me and Branngas. Branngas and I jumped on the tram and I filled him in on the way to Ironforge. Being the military man that he is, he decided that I was a civilian that needed to be protected, and insisted on taking me to a safe location in Dun Morough before he'd go back for Altherion and the elf.

Even though I would have preferred to stay with them, and I certainly didn't need the protection- I understood. I've been in that position before. The more people you have to start looking out for, the harder it is to get things done. Branngas needed to go rescue Altherion, and I knew that every second I spent debating with him about it, would be another second wasted, and another second longer it would take him to get to Altherion.

There are very few people I'll take orders from. Even in my own guild. But Branngas is one of those rare people. I really like him, and I have a deep respect for him. So when he told me to get inside and wait, that's what I did.

After awhile, he returned with a mage I didn't know, and Altherion, who was barely alive. I was permitted to call in Arthur, one of the new worgen who apparently knew Maurdakar. Between Arthur and the mage they managed to save Altherion.

Altherion had asked me to report this to Audrapel, the guard, which I did. Between Altherion, Branngas and Audrapel, I learned that this group, led by Evellin no less, has been causing trouble for The Seventy Third for some time, and even contracted the Horde to attack them.

This means I'm about to get very busy. I have two things I need to do: Find out as much about them as possible, which includes full investigations on every member of their guild and everyone they associate with. I want to know their every move- who they talk to, where they meet, what they do..

And then, do everything in my power to make their lives a living hell, maybe even drive them out of Stormwind altogether.

Starting with the worgen they call their leader- Brannlas.

http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5287/5365792222_2473422dcb_z.jpg

[Nikaa]

Nika shouldered her backpack and silently padded down the steps of the Westbrook Garrison to the first floor, below. As was typical of her, she kept close to the shadows, passing by a few of the new recruits of her guild, without being detected. Worgen. The whole lot of them. They never saw her enter the building, and they never saw her leave.

She didn't keep very many of her things at the Garrison which served as her guild hall, generally. A few items of clothing. A few extra blades. But what little she had been storing there was now packed away in her backpack, leaving not a trace of her behind.

It was time to go into hiding.

First, the ordeal in Southshore, where she had narrowly escaped with her life. And already the Forsaken mage had resurfaced. He had found her in Stormwind, and he had cornered her in Duskwood. She managed to escape him both times, although not without a few wounds to nurse, on both of their parts.

Then, the bombing and arson of the Redblade Corsairs ship. She had been careful there, not to be caught by the guards. She made it clear to the pirates that it was her that attacked them, but left no solid evidence that could legally link her to the crime. And yet.. she was now being framed for the sabotage of another ship, earning her the title of 'Harbor Bomber'. Worse yet, she was being implicated in the murders of the guards whose bodies were found in Goldshire. Even Micael was investigating. And lately, it seemed he was growing more suspicious of her by the day. Would he go so far as to try and arrest her? When she had left the anonymous note to Jon Ableham about the trouble caused by the Redblade Corsairs, she had never expected this turn of events. Why had he done it? Was he with them, too?

And now, she had managed to capture all three acting leaders of the gang of pirates, and currently had them held for interrogation. Had she finally gone too far? Maybe. Probably.. There would be attempts of retaliation, she knew this. Evellin, Cuergo and Urich had all seen her by now, since she didn't bother with a disguise where they were held. That would have to be dealt with, eventually. And in the meantime, it was very likely that the rest of the Corsairs had noticed their absence. No ransom had been offered to them. No contact at all. But they'd probably have their suspicions as to who was behind the disappearances. Nika was not about to give them any chance to find her, and ask her about it.

Already she had received a threat in the mail this morning. Somebody knew. They knew all of it. And the troubling part was that she had no idea who it was. It was hard to be on the lookout when you didn't know exactly who you are looking out for.

Which brought her thoughts back to the situation at hand. She had completely cleared out of the Garrison, her backpack stuffed full and heavy against her back. Her belongings would be evenly distributed and stashed across multiple hidden locations. Although she would remain present, precautions had been made, and she would continue to keep an eye on the city of Stormwind.

It was time to go underground. Nika had been down this road before. She never was an easy one to catch.

[Nikaa]

They found Stephen's bandana. I thought it would be safe in the bank, but Micael and Agent Porter got a search warrant for my deposit box, and they found it. It sucks, because it did have sentimental value.

I did a horrible, inexcusable thing, and I'm so ashamed. I met a guy who says he's Defias, and I told him I was interested in picking up some work. I don't even know why I did it.. especially after everything that's happened. I haven't even worked with the Defias in years. I don't even care about the money, right now. I guess I just wanted to stay in the loop, which is a stupid, selfish reason.

I feel like I've let down, disrespected and betrayed Micael and Agent Porter, who have done nothing but try to help me, and believe in me. I've been lying to Micael about my past, and he doesn't deserve that. Nothing I ever do or say can take it back, and even if they did forgive me.. I can't forgive myself. Micael would never do anything to hurt me. He's fought for me tooth and nail, both to save my life and to clear my name. He's risked his life and his career countless times, and this is how I repay him.. by stabbing him in the back.

All for a stupid, greedy need to stay informed. I don't deserve a guy like him. He can do better than me.

I couldn't decide if I should tell Micael the truth, or just let the Defias recruit forget we spoke and try to stay out of trouble for awhile. But he needs to know about me, and what I did. I owe him that.

I really hate myself right now. This is one of the worst things I've ever done. I feel completely ashamed..

[Nikaa]

I had my talk with Micael the other night. I left him a note that I wanted to meet with him at his house, and we showed up there about the same time.

We went in and sat by the fire.. it was really hard to say it. I didn't even know where to begin. The look on his face feels like it's burned into my memory. His eyes.. It was horrible. I hurt him. After everything he's done for me... He asked me some really hard questions. Some, I didn't really have an answer to. Or at least, not that I could bring myself to say. I don't think I had to.. the horror on his face showed that I didn't have to say it out loud. He knew..

I expected him to break up with me, or try to arrest me. Or both. But he didn't.. not yet, anyway. I left his house key that he gave me on the fireplace mantle and started to leave, when he said my name. I turned back and looked at him. "Honesty is very important to me," he said. He put the key back in my pocket, and left.

I'm still not sure if he was referring to how I lied to him, or if he was saying that he appreciated that I did finally tell him everything. I left after he did, and I haven't seen him since. I don't know what will happen next time we come across one another. I don't know if he'll hug me, try to pretend I don't exist, or try to arrest me.

I hope I don't see Agent Porter again, either.. I don't want to see the disappointment in his eyes. I was starting to like and trust him. Micael said he liked me, too. I bet he won't, now.

And if I do see him, I'll probably have to run..

[Nikaa]

Time to get some thoughts out. It's been too long.

Jon- I don't know what possessed me to steal Venedict's ghoul when I escaped Undercity. I don't think he even is a ghoul. I'm not sure what he is, exactly. All I know is that I've come to care about him, a lot. He keeps referring to me as his sister, and he really is like a little brother to me. He makes me think of Lilac and Abigail, who I really miss a lot. Especially Lil.. I feel like I left them behind and let them down, and I don't want to make the same mistakes with Jon. I'm trying to take care of him and keep him safe. His mind doesn't work like most peoples, but I'm trying to teach him and he's trying to learn. He's come a long way, already. He might not be completely human, but he has his own thoughts and feelings. He's my family, and I love him.

Micael- Speaking of Love, I finally got the courage to tell Micael I love him. It took months for me to let my guard down enough to let that happen. After Damien, I promised myself I'd never let anyone get that close to me again. It took a long, long time to let myself trust Micael enough to realize that he isn't going to hurt me. Every boyfriend I've ever had has either mistreated me, wanted to keep me a secret, cheated on me, or insisted on an open relationship. Micael is the first person who makes me feel special and important to him. He's the only one who has ever treated me like I finally know I deserve to be treated.

[Nikaa]

Mr. C and the Neo Defias- There was no Mr. C. Sometimes it's really hard for me to grasp that. He's gone.. but it's not like he just left or was even killed. He ever even existed. He was like a made up character. So it's hard to understand how to feel. I should hate him and be angry. I guess I mean at Crutch. But I guess more than anything, I'm just sad. I miss our group and the meetings. I miss sitting around the fire in that cave in Dun Morough. We were all kind of like a weird, dysfunctional family. I remember when Janaelle was spying on us and we were trying to find her. Me, Vlynor and Veirdan were at the top of a tower and I remember thinking how ironic it was that we all used to be such enemies, and there were we- working together and having each others backs. I considered them all friends and I really looked up to Mr. C. Then it all kind of went up in smoke. We fell apart. Most of them and I have barely spoken again. It makes me really sad. I want it back- all of it.

Trigin- Crutch kind of pitted us against each other from Day One, whether he meant to or not. First, by having me spy on Trigin and Janaelle- and by the way, I actually felt sorry for Trigin. Most of what I overheard just involved him feeling like Janaelle was turning a blind eye to Jensonis basically trying to steal her away from him. And from what I picked up on, she was being completely naive about it and not taking his feelings into consideration. It was shitty of both Jens and Janaelle, and Trigin was the one being a victim to it. I'm really sensitive to that sort of thing because I've been in his shoes before and I know how that feels. I'll never put up with something like that again, ever. Anyway, I felt sorry for Trigin when it came to that, even though I do find him intimidating and he scares the hell out of me sometimes. But then C insisted on hiring him to help with some of the Defias stuff, even though Trigin's own girlfriend was the one spying on us. I don't know why he needed Trigin so damn bad, but it made me really angry and I guess... jealous. I was afraid Trigin would replace me, somehow. C didn't know it, but he made Trigin my main competition and in a way, my enemy. Now that it's all over, I feel weird and awkward around him and Janaelle. And I'm not sure I can let go of that. I still feel some resentment.

[Nikaa]

Vlynor- I still can't believe Vlynor was raised as Forsaken. It's horrible, horrifying. I feel so sorry for him and Evellin. It really got me thinking, also.. As much as I've hated the Forsaken for what they did to Southshore, now I wonder how many others got turned like Vlynor did. It even almost happened to me. Vlynor and I always had our differences - I think deep down I was kind of jealous of him for being better at everything than I was. Especially once he joined Invictus Sanctum. Because even though I joined first, I knew they'd take him with them on their raids long before they'd take me, and I resented that. But deep down, I always considered him a friend and I still do. I don't care if he is Forsaken. He's still Vlynor.

[Nikaa]

Evellin- There are very few women I respect or look up to, but Evellin is one of them. Even when I had my issues with the Redblades, I never really blamed Evellin for it- other than her not enforcing her rules on them more. I hate that she's having to go through this thing with Vlynor being Forsaken, and having to worry about people trying to kill him if he comes around. People she once thought she could trust, or at least didn't think she had to worry about. I know how terrifying and miserable it feels to have a loved one in constant danger. Frankly, I don't know why she doesn't go join him. With both her husband and brother there.. I don't even know what I'd do if I was in her shoes. Even if she goes, I'll still consider her a friend. I will never raise my hand against her of Vlynor, except in self-defense or to protect someone I care about. She's proven herself by coming through for me more than once. I'll never tell her I was Kesten, or that I knew it was her that day. There's no need.. but it showed me a lot.

[Nikaa]

So much on my mind, today..

I spent a couple of nights at home in Stormwind, which I think I really needed. I feel like I've been working so hard, for so long.. I have hardly even gotten see much of Micael. It was overdue.. we needed that time together, for reassurance that we're both ok. So far..

He's worried about me being so sick.. but it can't be helped. I have to do this, and stay focused.. it's a small price to pay.

We got Creedy out.. Or, Praetorian Guard did. I was able to tell them where he was at. He was dying, when I found him. Thank god I got to him in time..

The Grim showed up, as expected.. I was planning to stay hidden and just observe, and not get directly involved in the fight. I had warned Janaelle, which should have been enough. But as soon as I saw the white haired troll.. I charged in.

Micael and I were in radio contact at all times.. at one point I saw him high up in the sky on his gryphon, with two of The Grim flanking him on either side. I panicked and went up there, but they were just watching him. There were two, but I was only focused on the Tauren. I think it might have been the same one that attacked me with the white haired troll when they picked up C that night.. I would have shot him down if I could have gotten a clear shot from my helicopter, but I couldn't. And then, he was watching me instead of Micael. Maybe he recognized me..

Eventually we drove them back enough to get Creedy out of there.. Creedy kept trying to talk to me afterwards, and I kept avoiding him. I felt so uncomfortable.. he did end up catching up with me at Blue Recluse later, but he was asking way too many questions that I really didn't want to answer. And he's smart.. I couldn't distract him or change the subject like I can with most people. Still, I didn't give him anything.

There's still the matter of the reward, but I didn't get it yet.. I feel uncomfortable asking, but a deal's a deal.

I met with Janaelle yesterday and gave her as much information as I can, at this point.. hopefully my updates will become more frequent.

[Nikaa]

So many things are troubling me, lately.. where to even begin.

'Bloody Mary' has been caught.. Gabriel DeRossi captured one of the undercover SI:7 agents and publicly tortured him over a broadcast in order to force an exchange- his release for the return of Angela DeRossi and Mary Rennero. It was horrible.. I couldn't listen. What really upsets me is that Micael wants ME to pose as Angela in the exchange.. he swears up and down that nothing can go wrong, but the plan has too many flaws. It bothers me that he's so willing to take such a big risk with me, especially after what just happened to Brakken. What bothers me even more is that when I made it clear that I didn't feel comfortable doing it, he was insistent..

I'm also worried that if something does go wrong, it could pull me away from my current assignment, and that's something we can't afford right now. He talked about using a potion to make the disguise more convincing. That's slightly better, I guess.. but barely. I still don't know if I'm going to do this. I may flat out refuse. Wouldn't it make more sense to turn the real Angela back to him and just shoot them both? Why does it have to be me? I still can't get over what he did to me with Urich..

Some things just aren't adding up.

Jon and Ableham have fused together, somehow.. It's really confusing to me, but somehow Jon is no longer disabled, and he has Ableham's memories.. I don't know how I feel about this.. especially since Jon seems determined to convince me that Venedict Abner is a good person, and that we're some kind of 'family'. We fought about it last night.. We need to talk again, when we're both feeling more calm.. I won't stay at the apartment anymore, that's for sure. I hate to say I don't trust him.. but he IS Venedict's creation, and he seems to want me to go back to Undercity with him. If I go back there, it's to kill Venedict, and everyone else in Infection.

I'm having some really bad reactions to the.. stuff I'm taking.. sick, mood swings, migraine's.. people are asking questions. Especially Jannaelle. I can't say anything. I HAVE to get through this. I'm getting so close...

Sometimes I find myself getting confused, though.. almost forgetting - (The thought trailed off there, without being continued on paper.)

Gotta stay focused. And speaking of Jannaelle.. I got into a big argument with her and Trigin. Mainly Trigin, I guess.. I KNOW he's lying, I just can't figure out the lie, yet. And I can't prove anything. I tried to break him down the other night and force him to admit it. I pushed him pretty far.. I actually felt like shit for being so mean about it. I still do, kind of. He probably would have been someone I'd look up to, under other circumstances. But he's a threat..

I feel bad for Jannaelle though. She seems like an honestly good person. She informs him of a lot, though. I need to watch them even closer than before.

I have Cambro listed as my Next of Kin.. even though we aren't related, he's the closest thing to family I have. I think Micael and I both know this is a suicide mission.. even if we don't say it outloud.

[Nikaa]

Ugraz jumped me in Dalaran last night..

This all started a few nights ago after I posted the bounty on The Grim. I knew of Ugraz already from all the times I've seen him attacking Stormwind. Once or twice I've run into him and he didn't seem overly hostile towards me- like that time in Crystalsong Forest when I was with Micael. He wouldn't let us leave- but he wasn't attacking us, either. Jannaelle has mentioned him before. She said she's on somewhat friendly terms with him, and that he leads a group of rebels against the Horde. So, I sent him a brief note about the bounty, hoping he might want to take the offer.

He sent a note back to me and said he had the three Grim that I asked for, and to meet him in Stonewatch. I wanted to pick a more neutral place so I requested Dalaran and he agreed. I wanted to be cautious so I asked Jannaelle to come along, figuring since she knew him, she could help out a lot in this. She ended up bringing several other people for back up. Which turned out good since Ugraz brought his own men.

The negotiations didn't go well and right away we suspected a trap. The way they were circling us, it was pretty clear they weren't going to let us leave. Ugraz spotted Ranavos hiding in the sewer exit which triggered a fight.. during the fight, Ugraz attacked me and seemed like he was trying to separate me from the group. A Forsaken from Infection named Igh opened a portal to Shattrath and pushed me through. (I'll have to go into more detail about that guy another time.)

Long story short, Ugraz caught up with me in Terrokar and brought me to Stonewatch where he demanded a ransom of 500 gold from Janaelle for my return. At that point, I still didn't think he'd hurt me. There was an exchange of the gold, more fighting, and eventually we got away with our lives and the gold, and made it back to Stormwind. I was even trying to defend Ugraz and his mate, Jaei.. when Trigin was holding her hostage, I kept trying to get him to let her go since she's pregnant.

By the next day, there were wanted posters all over for me, Jannaelle and Trigin. Ugraz posted a bounty on us.. Trigin I can understand, I guess.. since he did put a knife to Jaie's throat. But why Jannaelle and I? I thought she was friends with him, and I've never lifted a hand against him.

Skip forward to last night. I was passing through Dalaran on my way to Stormwind when I saw Ugraz standing down the street near the fountain. Without really thinking about it, I called out to him. He turned around, saw me, and started running towards me. As he got closer I realized he wasn't just running, he was charging me.

I turned and started running, then ducked for the shadows. It didn't matter though, cause he's Ugraz. Ugraz is the only one who can find me, every time.. I tried to make it inside one of the shops but he grabbed me before I could get through the door and just unleashed on me... He kept punching and kicking me until I was able to get my flying machine out of my pocket and tried to get on it. But he just followed me up into the air and I had no where else to go, so I flew back down and managed to make it inside A Hero's Welcome.

I decided to lay low in there for awhile since they wouldn't let him in, and snuck back to the portals after enough time had passed. I really don't understand what I did to him to cause such hate and hostility. From what I hear, he's already friends with several people I hang out with, anyway.

[Nikaa]

I got a note from Ugraz this morning.. an apology, of all things. He said he was sorry for attacking me, and even sent some gold to me.. I don't get that Orc. I'm not sure what triggered this, but I still don't trust him. I haven't decided if I'm going to respond to him or not. What am I supposed to say? No matter what he tells me, I'm not sure I can believe him.

I read today's issue of The Violet Eye and was pissed to see that while I've been trying to find a way to catch Leyujin, Inzema and Hokuto- Inzema has been in Stormwind! Is this supposed to be some kind of slap in the face in response to my bounties? He better not get too cocky- he assumes I don't know exactly where he is. I know more than they realize, and he has no idea how closely he's being watched. It's just a matter of bringing them in.

Funny how I'm starting to feel more relaxed and happy when I'm working than when I come home to take a break.. the moment I set foot in Stormwind, I feel stressed. The other night was terrible- Micael's so busy running around trying to arrest our allies that he's failing to see the big picture. Jannaelle and I had a long talk yesterday. I think Micael and I need to have one, next..

But getting back to Inzema.. his arrogance just moved him to the top of my priority list. If he wants to push- it's time to push back.

[Nikaa]

Just when I was beginning to lose hope that I'd have any takers on this Grim contract, someone sent me an anonymous note to meet in Dalaran. I was pretty wary about the meeting, especially after what happened with Ugraz last week. This time, I requested to meet ABOVE the streets of Dalaran, and not in the sewers. I was also apprehensive because I saw some of Ugraz's people lurking about, but I steered clear of them.

The guy who met with me was a Blood Elf. I didn't recognize him.. but I recognized his tabard, and I was not happy to see it. I put past differences aside for the sake of the meeting, though. And if he's actually serious about this and comes through for me, that's the most important thing. I can understand his concerns, and there are still details to be worked out. I'll try and have a meeting with Janaelle later to get her thoughts, and then get back to him.

After the meeting, I spotted Ugraz walking down the street. Curious about the note he had sent me, I approached him. He apologized again, then brought me upstairs to the Purple Parlor. His mate was there, and another Orc I didn't recognize. Ugraz honestly seemed apologetic, which probably has way more to do with his mate than any real guilt. But at least he wasn't attacking me. His mate, Jaei, strikes me as being honestly peaceful. I'm sure she's vicious if pushed, but I don't get the sense that she goes looking for a fight. Maybe because she's pregnant. As for the other Orc, he was standing a little too close for my comfort. It occurred to me that they could toss me over the side of the tower if they wanted, so I waved goodbye to them and left.

Need to meet with Jannaelle soon, and discuss. I also need to figure out what to do about Inzema. I really hope this Frost guy is serious about the contract.

[Nikaa]

This has been a horrible week. In this past week, Inzema has broken into my apartment, Venedict captured me (although Ugraz of all people rescued me- if it wasn't for him, I may be Forsaken as I write this.), I had to take Jon away from Stormwind and lost him in Tirisfal Glades, half of the Violet Eye this week was about him, all of it horrible.. and Trigin and I spend more time either screaming at each other or not speaking at all- and he's the best chance I have of catching Inzema.



Sending Jon away was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I'm still not sure it's the right thing. I think about him constantly. Wondering where he is.. what he's doing now. Is he safe? I don't know if I can do this. I KNOW Janaelle was right and that he's a danger to the city. And I know Igh told me that he's just spying on me for Venedict. But I feel responsible for him. We went through so much. I never should have taken him from Undercity.

Now, I can't stop thinking about him. And everytime I do, I feel horrible. Janaelle says I should just let it go and let him fend for himself. On one hand, she's right. He CAN'T come back to Stormwind.. too many people want to kill him, including Micael. But on the other hand, the way I did this is wrong. I can't even imagine how he must feel.. I abandoned him.. left him with that Dwarf and I don't even know who she was. I can't stand it.. I have to go find him.. I have to check on him.


I really don't know what to make of Trigin. Even though I consider him a huge threat, this thing with The Grim has us working together enough that I was starting to get used to him. But then he says or does something that always reminds me that we'll never be friends. His greed shocks me, sometimes. He already said he doesn't care if Stormwind is destroyed. As long as he and Janaelle are safe, he doesn't care what happens to anyone else. We got in a fight the other night and he said some really hurtful things to me. When I saw them again last night he apologized, and said he thought I was insulting him. I explained that I wasn't- I just wanted to be sure he understood how dangerous Inzema is, so he and Janaelle don't get hurt. When I left he said something along the lines of, 'Be careful and don't die, I need you alive.' As I was walking out I heard Janaelle say, 'We need her alive.' To which Trigin replied, 'I need her alive or I won't get paid.'

It really is just about money, for him.

According to the Violet Eye, Ugraz is dead.. I was extremely sad to read that, and I pray that it isn't true.. but the fact that there was a body recovered doesn't give me a lot of hope. If it IS true... well then, at least he died fighting for something he believed in. And it was something noble, and honorable. He was fighting for his own people. Even if he went against the Horde and the Alliance.. and even though he was sometimes crazy and violent.. there was good in him, also.

He saved me, recently. When Venedict caught me just last week and I was chained up in his lab.. Ugraz showed up out of nowhere. I have no idea how Ugraz knew to find me there. And I have no idea why he decided to save me. But if it wasn't for him, Venedict would have turned me Forsaken. Ugraz saved not only my life- but he saved my soul.

[Nikaa]

Ranavos has clearly lost his mind. I've done nothing but stick up for him.. even when I heard he was working for Infection, I still gave him the benefit of the doubt and tried to explain to him why they're so terrible. (Beyond the obvious of them being Horde.) He didn't even seem to care about Southshore..

Micael gave him the opportunity to work for SI:7 and gather intelligence about Venedict, rather than just arresting him and handing him over to Dalaran or the church, which would have been certain execution.. He was trying to do right for a friend, and give Ranavos a chance to turn his life back around.

Instead, Ranavos turned on us both. He kept telling me how he hated Micael for 'blackmailing' him. And he kept threatening me, telling me that he was going to 'reunite' me with Venedict and that Venedict would be happy to see me again. And he was being really nasty and threatening about it. He's changed.. whatever the Forsaken have done to him, the old Ranavos is gone.

I tried to overlook it for as long as I could, even though he was constantly seeking me out and trying to provoke me with his threats and taunts. Finally I had enough and I called him out on it at the Blue Recluse. He and Sadi turned around and started trying to spread the rumor that I was a horde spy. Worst of all- they were trying to convince Saruron of it. And if that wasn't bad enough.. I overheard him saying that he has his suspicions about me, anyway.

Even though I've been the first one to step up and join him in his fight against the Alliance (Alliance is crossed out, replaced with Horde), as far back as when I was only in my 30th Circle..

Even though I've dedicated myself to this fight against The Grim

Even though I managed to find Creedy and lead Praetorian Guard back to him

Even though I'm funding the bounty on them with my own life savings

Even though I fought for Southshore



As I listened to this, I turned my radio on so Janaelle could hear what was being said.. I was really hoping she'd come to speak up for me. Saruron is in Praetorian Guard and I'm working so closely with them.. if nothing else, I hoped she could give him the reports about what I'm doing, and my current investigation.

Eventually Trigin did show up and he was able to vouch for me, for the most part. Although his comments were peppered with insults about me and my abilities and courage. He said I didn't have the spine to do half the things I was accused of, and Saruron generally agreed. They have no idea what I'm doing in my investigation. But I guess it's just as well. As long as I'm underestimated, it's only to my advantage.

It also made me kind of mad that Saruron was so quick to believe Trigin, when all Trigin cares about is money. He's already said outright repeatedly that he doesn't care about the Alliance and he doesn't care about Stormwind, or anyone in it but himself and Janaelle. I'm starting to really wonder what she see's in him. She seems like such a genuinely good and caring person, and he's so based around greed.. even when Saruron asked him for help investigating Ranavos, Trigin said he expected to get paid for it and he wouldn't do it for free. Saruron said that stopping a Horde spy should be payment enough, and Trigin said it wasn't..

Either way.. my name is more or less cleared now, I guess. Ranavos has been arrested and may be put to death. I can't afford to let myself care anymore.

[Nikaa]

*The words on the page were written sloppily, often trailing off into half thoughts as if she were dozing in between writing.*

No sign of Inzema since we caught him last weekend. But he's still out there and alive, even though I haven't physically seen him in Orgimmar. Yet. He's hiding somewhere. Healing, probably.

The Grim continue to grow in numbers. Joining together with Dragonhawk Brigade. This disappoints me. I wonder if I should talk to Tynalie.. even though she isn't very reliable.

No sign of Hokuto. Guduk is on my radar, but I'm not paying for him. I know where he is.

Leyu'jin is... ..

Have to stay focused and on track.

Been working with Ugraz.. and others, which puts me in danger. Some people are investigating me. Saruron says he won't do anything, he didn't yet but I don't trust him.

Janaelle has someone following me. A human.. I caught him acting suspicious last night, and then I heard him and Janaelle talking about her having him watch me. Is Janaelle investigating me, too? I always wondered about Micael. And I don't trust Trigin, anyway. May have to keep distance. Not going to sleep at that place anymore. No wonder she asked me where my traps were.

[Nikaa]

*The following entry was the first written in a new journal.. the pages and cover were crisp and white, save for the smudges of dirt and a bit of blood.*

I don't have long to write, I think. Q will be back soon.. and I think Leyujin is coming..

I've had a lot of visitors. Ugraz.. People from Infection... Igh, Venedict.. the girl.. just now, a kid.. goblin. Junior was his name, if I remember right.. I've only seen him once before..

I'm not sure how he snuck in.. but I'm being closely guarded. Everytime someone tries to sneak in, a member of The Grim shows up. This time it was Q.. the mage. The worst person to catch someone here. She attacked the kid, when he wouldn't leave. It was horrible.. I had moved to where I couldn't see. She dragged him out of the cell and threatened to let the Naga kill him. Then I heard her chanting, and him screaming.. when she threw him back in the cell with me, there wasn't much left of his face.. I didn't tell him how bad it looked. It looked like it had been half melted off.. burned..

I can't take magic.. and I lost it. I couldn't help him. He was screaming and crying, and there was nothing I could do to fix what she had done to him. I was running around, trying to find some way out of the cell. I guess with all the commotion we were making, it pissed off the guards.. I heard the door open and turned around and saw the Naga coming at me..

I woke up later, my face hurt and I tasted blood in my mouth. And Junior had been stabbed.. the blade was still in him. Gut wound.. At least I was calmed down and could think and focus again.. I'm detoxing hard, too.. without having access to my stuff.. I knew I was getting addicted to it... now that I don't have it, it hurts. I feel like I'm crawling out of my skin..sick.. I have the shakes.. all of that didn't help, either. At least til I got knocked out.

Junior had a pack on him and thankfully had some potions and bandages.. I was able to get the knife out. Blood everywhere.. but between the potions and dressings, he lived.. I finally talked him into leaving before Q and Leyujin come back.

He said Ugraz sent him... he brought me this journal. Somewhere to finally get my thoughts out. And maybe it'll help.. give me something to think about besides the potions. I couldn't send payment this week.. I'll pay what I owe if I ever get out of here.. I have a stockpile at least.. I keep having to fight off the urge to beg someone to go to Dalaran and get my stash, and bring it to me.. but I can't. Obviously, I CAN'T take it in here..

Amazingly, they aren't treating me bad. They haven't even hurt me, really. Hokuto knocking me out doesn't count. They could have done a lot worse. They are actually treating me honorably. Nothing like Inzema was treated..

And even Inzema, after what was done to him. After the bounties. After losing his leg and me sending it back with that note.. he hasn't touched me. Even when he found the tracking device. He didn't cut it out.

I better stop writing now and hide this before they come back and see me with it.

[Nikaa]

I confessed to Leyu'jin and Inzema last night. Malebrignon was there, too. But I had only ever heard his voice before. I had not met him.

Inzema had a plan to make me Forsaken and talk Leyu'jin and Abric into letting me join The Grim. And he almost had me convinced.. after spending the last two months with them, I want to stay. I knew I'd miss them when this ended.

I had no idea if Leyu'jin would have me or not, and I thought about keeping my identity as Sizzlespark a secret so I could stay, even if he said no. But I have respect for him.. and I wanted to be truthful. So I told them.

It wasn't easy to do. Leyu'jin was shocked. Inzema, also. I probably would have gotten some satisfaction of seeing that look on Inzema's face if I wasn't so worried. For a moment, I thought Leyu'jin might cleave me in half where I stood. But after the initial surprise, they seemed willing to consider letting me stay. But of course, I would have to commit 100% loyalty to them and the Mandate.

And.. I can't do that. As much as I want to stay, there are certain things I will not do. And I will not contribute to the destruction of my home. I will not put the lives of people I care about in danger. And I will not betray the people who might fight to free me.

I wrote a letter to the guild, explaining everything. Now I wait. Either help will come to free me.. or The Grim will come to kill me.

[Nikaa]

How many days have I been in here?

It's hard to remember.. but I'm going to guess around four. It's been four days since Hokuto caught me in Orgimmar. But other than just being knocked out when they moved me (and not counting when I pissed off the guards the other day), they haven't hurt me at all.

I feel like I've had a lot of visitors. Jul'kah was the first.. but only very briefly, when I was still in Undercity. He peeked in but then left again. I'm not even sure he knows that I'm Sizzle, yet.. Next was Venedict, Igh and the girl. And then since I've been moved.. Qarosimae, Inzema, Leyu'jin, Malebrignon, Ugraz and Junior.. oh and that female blood elf that was with Ugraz the other night when he showed up and attacked Q. And then Eclypse.. I had to call her for help. Ugraz seemed really mad but.. he shouldn't have come. He's the reason I'm in here to begin with. And then right in front of Q, he was about to tell me Praetorian Guards plans to rescue me. I'm starting to think he's trying to sabotage the Alliance.

Inzema comes here the most. I think he might be assigned to guard me. He seems to show up everytime someone who isn't Grim tries to visit me.

He and I talk, a lot. I've been thinking about his offer. I'm so torn. I don't know what to do.. I want to stay with The Grim. But I also don't want to betray the Alliance.. mainly Praetorian Guard. But then I think about who specifically in Praetorian Guard matters the most to me. There's Janaelle.. but of anyone, she's the most likely to eventually forgive me. Niktika and I rarely talk, but her opinion of me matters a lot.

If I join The Grim, I feel like everything I've been working for over the past two months was for nothing. And what about the Doom Of Stormwind? I still have to stop that, one way or another. And I don't want to betray Praetorian Guard.

On the other hand.. the people I've met here matter also. When I think about the bounties now.. I can't even fathom the thought of Leyu'jin, Hokuto or Inzema being caught by the Guard. What will I do if they are? Even if I don't join The Grim, I want to call off the bounties. But how will I explain that?

Inzema is hard to read lately. Sometimes he seems like he honestly hopes that I stay. Other times he seems like he couldn't care less one way or another. I haven't talked to Hokuto yet.

Overall.. they have been surprisingly kind. Especially considering what I've done. For being a prisoner, I've been treated with way more respect than I could have imagined. They haven't hurt me at all. They haven't even been unkind. And the fact that I might even be given a chance to stay.. Leyu'jin surprised me. And at the same time.. maybe I'm not so surprised. This is why I respect him.

Inzema was extremely nice in giving me back my comm device. That's a huge deal for me. I don't dare say anything on it.. I don't know how they would react. But I can listen.. and right now, that means more than I can say. I don't feel completely alone with my thoughts anymore. It makes me feel more connected again. I spend the hours here in my cell, writing in my journal. Doodling. Listening to my guild chatting with each other. And trying to decide what I should do.

I still can't decide. If I go with my gut feeling on what I should do.. I would go back to the Alliance, because that's the right thing to do.. But if I go with what I want to do.. I'd be staying with The Grim.

I wish I could talk to Ashenfury. I really wish that.

[Nikaa]

*Written on a tiny little scrap of paper.*




Forgive me

[Nikaa]

I can't believe how long it's been since I've written in this journal. I'm surprised to have the journal back, actually.. it was left behind when Hokuto captured me, all the way back in July. Janaelle says that Trigin found it in that place she gave me to stay, along with all of my other stuff. I can't believe they didn't burn it all, but she kept it for me. Even the letters.

Journal or not, I've been meaning to write for a long time. So much has happened, so many things have changed. I've changed. But it's hard to write down my thoughts or feelings when I just don't know anymore. I'm beginning to wonder if something is wrong with me. How can a person be so divided and so split down the middle. I went from trying to help Praetorian Guard catch The Grim to becoming Grim, myself. To being sucked into that world and being content and happy as Sizzlespark. Thinking back.. Those were the times when I felt happiest. The potions were extremely addictive and I've stopped taking them, but I wonder now if something is permanently changed inside.

In the end, I couldn't live up to the Mandate. The final few weeks when I was with them were the hardest.. I was at constant war with myself. Just when I thought I was at my breaking point, Leyu'jin came to me and we talked for a really long time. A couple of hours, at least. I was able to really open up and explain why I was having so much trouble. He told me that I wouldn't be forced to do the things Ashenfury wanted me to do. I felt so much better after talking to him. I have the deepest respect for Leyu'jin.

Ashenfury was more firm though, and he would not bend. He took me to Azshara where we stood at the top of the waterfall, and he asked me what my decision was. I told him that I could not complete my tasks. I saw his face before he walled up. He was disappointed. I think he was more sad than angry. He told me that I could not be Grim, and demanded that I take off my tabard. He said I could have a running start. I don't think he would do that for too many people.

I wasn't as sad as I thought I would be. In fact, I feel more at peace than I have since I was Sizzlespark. Even though I miss The Grim, I'm glad that I was true to myself. Most of them are still friends with me. Too my knowledge, only two are actively seeking my death. And the others aren't cooporating. I still hang out with some of them, we just have to be careful. I still go to the patrols and shadow them.

What I find interesting is that now that I'm no longer Grim, and I'm no longer tied to being expected to fight with them.. I still fight on their side. I could just as easily shadow Praetorian Guard and help them against The Grim. But my loyalty still seems to lean closer to the side of the Horde.

I've seen Janaelle several times and we've talked. It's hard to explain how I can be friends with her and still fight her in Tol Barad. We even talked about it, and basically agreed that neither of us would hold back. In a way, I don't consider those battles to be that personal. And this is where things begin to get fuzzy. The more I try to understand, the less I'm able to. I've spoken with Urivial and Trigin a few times now also, and in a few days we'll probably be fighting against one another.

Jul'kah and I went to Stormwind and we attacked a few people. But if I was hanging out in the Recluse with Janaelle or any of my other friends (?) and The Grim showed up, I think I'd fight them.

Trying to figure this out is only confusing me more.

I feel equally happy and sad. I'm happy because I'm free again. I can go where I want and talk to anyone I feel like. But I'm sad because by living this way, I will always betray some people I care about. No matter what choice I make at any given time, when I turn to one person with open arms, I turn my back to another.

[Nikaa]

I don't know where I'm at, these days. I guess I'm trying to figure out who I am. I don't know anymore. A lot of things about myself and my actions continue to surprise me.

I happened to be in Stormwind last night. The only two people in the Blue Recluse were Niktika and a death knight I recognized from Sunday's patrol. Niktika used to be someone I deeply respected. I wouldn't call us friends, but I admired who she was and what she stood for. She was one of the few I would salute. Now, I could never look her in the eye. And I know she'd kill me where I stood, if she ever saw me.

I saw others gathered outside- a lot of them were people that fight on the side of Praetorian Guard during the patrols. Many of them I had fought personally, just the night before. I was surprised to notice how guilty I felt for being there. Even though I wasn't talking to any of them.. being there felt unsettling.

I saw Shaii, who I haven't seen in months. The last time we spoke was in Nagrand when I was part of Mr. C's defias. I overheard her talking with Yueme and some other people. It seems that Svetlaena had captured a night elf by the name of Dalomere and they were planning to go rescue him. I really wanted to talk to Shaii, since I had an issue with Duroxas - and by default, Svetlaena as well. I couldn't get her away from the group though, and Yueme was there. I didn't even trust Shaii not to attack me, either. It would have helped if I could have had more time to speak to her, but they were already leaving, so I followed.

We ended up at a cave south of Silithus. I followed from a distance, knowing how incredibly dangerous it was for me to be there. Dalomere turned out to be the night elf warrior from the patrols - the one who tries so hard to kill me every week. The group attacked Svetlaena and I hid nearby, watching. If they had given her a clean kill I would not have interfered.. although once again I was surprised to realize I felt kind of sorry for her. It was wrong of her to take the elf.. but they were toying with her, too. I don't like to see people suffer. I couldn't see exactly what they were doing to her from where I was, but I could hear her screams.. it went on for a long time.

I did a lot of hard thinking, while I was there. The only issue I have with Svetlaena is that she's married to Duroxas, and he has Jon. That's all I want from him.. I just want Jon to be returned to Venedict. As for Shaii, Yueme and the rest of their group- if I had let them see me at any point, they'd do the same to me as they were doing to Svetlaena. Especially Dalomere and Yueme. I thought back to what Ashenfury said, once.. he recognized Duroxas scent, and said some of his guild (or maybe Duroxas himself, I can't remember) had fought at the side of The Grim before. Everyone else in that room would or has fought against us in Tol Barad. That's how I ended up making the decision to help Svetlaena..

Dalomere toyed with her for awhile.. put a collar on her and made her roll over like a dog.. humilating and degrading her. Then Shaii stabbed her through the shoulder with a blade, pinning her to the ground, and they left her in that cave to die. I waited until they had gone before I went to her. She was in really bad shape.. she wasn't even able to heal herself. Thankfully I found a comm device on her belt and called for help. I was surprised when Selash was the first to answer. Interesting..

He demanded to know who I was, but I wouldn't answer. I just gave them the situation and then waited in the shadows. Selash showed up with Duroxas and they stabilized Svetlaena, then he rooted me out. He held a gun on me and disarmed me of my blades, but Duroxas made him give them back. They made me come with them to Thunder Bluff, but I was allowed to leave after that.

Svetlaena seemed half delirious from blood loss and shock.. but she seemed to be trying to tell Duroxas and Selash that I had helped her. She also kept saying something about a boss.. it seemed as if she might have been referring to Selash.. interesting..

I am amazed that I started last night intending to help Shaii and the others rescue their elf and maybe offer my services to spy on Svetlaena or Duroxas for them.. and ended the evening by rescuing her and ending up in the cave with the three people I had been after. I still have an issue with Selash.. I know he's behind Micael's disappearance and I know he wrote that letter to me in the paper. He reminds me of Trigin, in a lot of ways. But as for Duroxas and Svetlaena.. it's just about Jon. And after this, I may be able to simply talk to Duroxas and see if he can at least move Jon back to Undercity if he still has access to him for his studies.

If Janaelle had been there last night, I wonder how things would have turned out? With her there, I would have felt safe enough to let myself be seen - I think she could have offered me some protection. I have a feeling things would have ended up very different. I probably would have left with her and the elves, gotten a chance to talk to Shaii, and done some planning with them.

But in a way, I'm glad it didn't go that way. I feel good about what I did. I think it was the right thing.

[Nikaa]

Mulgore is beautiful. It sort of reminds me of back home, with the grass and trees, and rolling hills..

I think I want to sit here and look at it for just a little bit longer.

http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6169/6178936145_df483ce67d_z.jpg

[Nikaa]

I don't know how many times I've picked up this journal to write something, but I just can't seem to find the words. Or maybe it's just that in the back of my mind, I didn't want to write down my thoughts because putting them on paper makes them more real. It makes them fact.

I guess the fact is that I've changed, a lot. I'm still changing- trying to figure out who I am now, and what I'm doing. Over all, I'm happier now. I feel more at peace- but at the same time, there's this unsettled feeling.

I've cut all my ties with the Alliance. I'm no longer exiled from Orgimmar and I'm no longer hunted by The Grim. I'm allowed to keep the friendships I want without fear of them being held accountable for it. Even people like Abric, Mohan and Qarosimae have settled into grudging acceptance of my being around. And others like Ashenfury and Leyu'jin I'm able to openly talk to, again.

In a way that's very hard to explain, it feels like mending things with The Grim has also given me a bit of closure with Coup De Grace. The two reminded me a lot of each other in many ways, especially with how things ended. The situations mirrored each other so closely, and having things so unfinished with Jeriko has always felt like an old injury that never quite healed. It's been six or seven years now, but that was always that nagging, distant ache that never quite went away.

Now, I don't feel it anymore.

But the price that comes with that is that I find myself doing and saying things that I know I should be ashamed of. A year ago, if I could have seen where I am today, I'd be horrified. The detachment I feel about that is troubling.

[Nikaa]

i need damien

[Nikaa]

I've decided to take a trip home, at least for a short time. I feel like I need to get things sorted out in my head, and seeing some of my old friends would do me a world of good. I want to take off my shoes and walk in the sand, feel the water around my ankles. I want to get back to the forest.. see people like Amanda and Fletcher. Hell, even Ari. I need to visit Natalia's tree in the cemetary.

I want to look for Damien. I know I won't find him, and even if I did, most likely he wouldn't talk to me. But I still want to try. And I know Qutubbin will be there for me.

Maybe I'll even ask him if I can bring Fricken back with me. I miss my cat. And he'd be a little piece of home.

[Nikaa]

I discovered the other day that Ashenfury still doesn't really trust me very much. I came to him with some extremely important information, and since I didn't want to risk anyone eavesdropping, I said we should go somewhere more quiet. I got in my copter and flew way up into the mountains, ended up finding a nice little spot on a small cliff face. No way anyone would be able to get to us without flying to where we were, and being seen. As soon as he landed he started throwing down totems. At first I didn't think anything about it, I thought maybe he just liked having them near. But then he started charging around, poking at the shadows, and ended up summoning his elementals. I think he was suspicious that I was leading him into a trap, or something. Even after all this time. I guess a part of me understands. But it still bothers me.

[Nikaa]

There is absolutely no one I can trust right now. I'm starting to figure some things out. Things are beginning to click, but I'm not in control. People I considered friends are working hard to end me, and I almost don't even care. What I know I need to do and my actions are completely opposite. I want to talk some things out but there isn't a soul I can turn to.

I had to move from my current location. At least four people are actively hunting me, and those are just the ones I know about. It's too dangerous to stay anywhere but in Dalaran where it's the most heavily guarded.

[Nikaa]

Spending time at the faire feels good, even if it makes me think about looking for Jeriko. I still miss them.

Had some interesting conversations last night. Of course, the one time I actually spoke to an Alliance, Knithawk saw me. He'll probably tell Ashenfury. Nevermind it's the same guy I crippled and nearly killed twice. All that'll matter is that I was talking to an Alliance in an isolated spot in the woods. But I don't care anymore.

I used to pride myself on my freedom. Somewhere along the way I lost who I was. I put the acceptance of others before everything that made me who I am. And that's not gonna fly.

[Nikaa]

Today brings the start of a new beginning. Change.. an attempt to get my life back on track. At least, I really hope so..

I woke up several times during the night. Instead of feeling soft earth beneath me and moonlight through the trees, all I saw was flat, cold stone and iron bars. A few times I had this intense feeling of panic. What have I done?

Freedom was always the most important thing to me. As far back as I can remember, the one thing that was always consistent in my life was my own freedom, and be damned with all the rules. I never let myself be told what to do, how to act, what to think. That's why I could never really fit in with a guild or a pack. "There was always a freedom in you." That's what Evellin said to me the other day. I think that last little shake is what finally helped me wake up.

I feel like I've slowly been waking up, for months. But I've been fighting it, too. When on earth did I let The Grim so completely consume everything I ever was? What made them become the most important thing to me? So important that I'd turn my back on everyone and everything that I fought so hard to defend. I have some theories about that, but I'm still trying to unravel it all in my mind. And those thoughts are so twisted and knotted up, it'll take forever to sort it all out. Was this a side effect of whatever chemicals Inzema put in me?

And then there was Theramore.. the most horrible and shaming thing I've ever done in my life. Even as I poisoned the food supplies that ended up killing all those people, the hate I felt wasn't for them. It wasn't for the Seventy Third or even the Alliance. The hate was for myself. And I wanted to make everyone else hate me just as much.. it was a complete and total act of self sabotage. For awhile I had been feeling like maybe I was slipping.. having thoughts of going back. Day after day, returning to Stormwind to spy. I was going more and more frequently, but my reports to Ashenfury were coming less often. Because I was slipping..

So I made that desperate attempt to sabotage myself, and make sure that I'd NEVER be able to go back. Those twisted and tangled knots in my head kept raveling tighter. Which was me, and which was whatever I've become?

By morning, I was sick and horrified at what I had done. All those people.. And the worst part wasn't just that I had killed them. It was HOW I had killed them.

These were soldiers. Men and women that had dedicated their lives to protecting their homes and their people. Something that I myself used to pride myself on, even if I was never a soldier. They were supposed to die a more glorious death. Fighting in battle for everything they loved and believed in. Their names would be remembered for generations. Long after they were gone, their children and grand children would be able to tell stories about how brave they were, and how they gave up their lives for something so great and important.

Instead, I stripped all of them of that. They didn't die proudly in battle. They died to a stupid fucking poisoned piece of bread, or cheese, or a sip of water. They never had a chance to pick up a sword or defend themselves. They died senseless, pointless deaths.. at the hand of a coward who they never even got to see.

And there is nothing in the world I can ever do to change that, or fix that, or take it away. Even if every widow forgave me.. every little girl who won't have a dad or a mom to tuck them in at night.. or a son who just wanted to follow in his fathers footsteps and make him as proud as he made his son. Even if every single one of them forgave me.. they'd still be without that person that they loved, that never deserved to die they way they did. And I have to live with that, forever.

And for what?

[Nikaa]

I guess I shouldn't have expected total privacy while I'm in here. I don't have to share my cell with anyone, at least. But I did have this section to myself until last night.. The guards brought in two other prisoners and put them in the cells next to mine. One of them turned out to be Carlandian. I don't know if it was the guards sick sense of humor to put him there, or just a big coincidence.. but I haven't seen him since the night he and Jensonis attacked me and tried to kill Jon.. apparently he's been in jail every since that night, and of course he blames me for it. We spent most of the night screaming at each other from our cells.

The other one is Kirrok. He's in the cell right next to mine, and he's a little strange.. but not so bad, I guess. He's better than Carl, at least. His story is a little confusing, though. He says he doesn't know why he was arrested.. just that some guards were chasing his wife and she ran screaming into his arms. Then the guards pulled them apart and he was put in jail. They didn't tell him why, he hasn't had a trial or anything. He doesn't even know if his wife is also in jail, or if she's still out there.

The guard that was with us last night was horrible. First he kept tazing Carl and Kirrok for pretty much no reason, then he opened all of our cells. Carl came at me but Kirrok got in between us, and then two of them fought for awhile until the guard put us all back again.. Mielkov showed up to patch up Kirrok's injuries and to check on me. I think he bribed the guard to leave me alone, cause it wasn't as bad for the rest of the night.. He also brought me this journal I'm writing in. I gave Kirrok some paper to write to a friend of his on the outside.. maybe he can find out what happened to his wife.

Branngas came, later in the evening. I can tell from talking to him that there's no hope of him ever forgiving me. He won't even call me by my name, now. He only addresses me as 'Miss Davies'. I can't blame him.. but it still stings. I guess all I can do at this point is try to figure out whats wrong with me, and then try to find a way to fix it. If I ever survive this, and if I'm ever released.. I don't know what I'll do then. I can't go back to Orgimmar, I know I'll be killed on sight. I doubt I can stay in Stormwind, after everything I've done. I'll never be accepted.

[Nikaa]

I've been neglecting to write in this, but I really should take the time to do that more often. I'm hoping it'll be therapeutic, and that putting my thoughts on paper might help me sort myself out. As much as I'm hoping my time in here will help me get better, it's really up to myself to make it happen.

As bleak as things seemed in the beginning, I'm starting to have a little bit of hope. Merriana came to talk to me briefly the other night. She's still very angry and very hurt, of course. But she shocked me by saying when my time here is done, she's left a small fund for me to get myself out of Stormwind and start over somewhere else. Far away. I told her I don't deserve any help from her. I still don't know why she'd want to do that. The way she was talking that night, she almost sounded as if she was thinking of releasing me right then. I told her I wasn't ready to go.. I'm not fixed yet, mentally, and I'm afraid I'd end up right back in Orgimmar, feeding information to Ashenfury. But more on that another time..

Janaelle was summoned to the jail to heal Kirrok after Carl bit him... it was pretty severe. Jan didn't even know I was in jail yet, so she was pretty shocked to see me. She seemed pretty forgiving though, all things considered. Maybe she doesn't know about Theramore. She came back another time and we talked for a little while. I apologized to her. I want to write to her soon, though. When I can take the time to express myself better. Evellin, too. She's a big part of why I'm here, and why I decided to look for help.

Speaking of help.. I've been talking to Carlandian. At first I was really pissed at him for attacking me and Jon. But one of the things I'm trying to do is work on my anger and intolerance. He attacked Jon because he thought he was some kind of monster- because he was different, and something he didn't understand. That's exactly how I've felt about the worgen, and why I hate them. But Carlandian is having a really tough time in here.. he's as broken as I am, in some ways. So rather than hang onto that anger, I decided it was time to let it go, and try to understand him better. He's been in here for almost a year, trapped and pretty much completely alone.

I spent some time talking to him, and learned a little more about his life before he was worgen.. how he became worgen. He holds his anger around himself like a shield. I can relate to that. Maybe that's part of why I'm here.. so I can learn to understand people, and maybe help them in some small way.

[Nikaa]

Urivial came to visit this evening.. I was shocked to see him alive, since I had heard rumors that he was killed recently.. My initial feeling was relief, I was glad to see he's alive after all. But the moment passed in a split second, before I was seeing him as just another enemy, and a threat to The Grim.. seeing the Dusk Watch tabard made me angry, and I think if I hadn't been behind bars, my impulse would be to attack him..

He was mostly there to ask me about Venedict. But at some point, he asked me who I had considered a leader after I turned traitor. I know he was probing for information about The Grim. My gut instinct was to clam up, and refuse to answer any questions. I felt that unshakable loyalty.. but I don't think those feelings are real. When I think about everything that's happened, and everything that was done to me..

I'm not stupid. Every since I came back from my exile and they suddenly 'accepted' me again, I could read the writing on the wall. At least where some of them are concerned. People like Nyali and Inzema- maybe they are being genuine. But Ashenfury was using me, and I know it. He didn't give a damn about me or my well being. I was nothing but a resource to him- I figured that out after a few comments he made. He didn't consider me a friend, he considered me a tool to gain information.

After Urivial left, I felt so angry.. both at myself, and at them. I told Carl that I consider it a good sign that I'm starting to have feelings of anger towards them and what they did to me. Especially considering that I KNOW they would have done it again in a heartbeat, if Abric ordered it. Yet at the same time, I was willing to completely destroy my life for them. And even knowing that tonight, I still wouldn't answer Urivial about them.

I have a long way to go, before I get better. I'm starting to identify some of the problems I have, but I still can't untangle those knots in my head.

[Nikaa]

I don't know why I feel so crappy today. Kinda sick.. I could barely sleep last night.

Anyway, yesterday was a pretty eventful day.. two new prisoners were brought into our cellblock, as well as a new guard.

One of the prisoners said his name is "K". Not sure what to make of him, yet.. but he's kind of interesting. He used to be Defias.. has a cog on the back of his hand like I do. His looks like a brand also.. not a tattoo like most of them. Maybe I'll ask him about that, sometime. He seems kind of hardened.. the guard put him in the cell with Kirrok, I have no idea why. Immediately, the two of them started fighting until the guard finally had to split them up again. He calls me 'poppit'. That's a new one. He seems like he's got a lot of anger and a huge chip on his shoulder, though.

The other new one is a girl, Rosey. She's really young- only seventeen. Poor thing was terrified. She swears up and down she didn't do it. Supposedly she stabbed some people and stole some money. Maybe she didn't do it.. I don't know. In here, it doesn't really matter anyway. She's really sweet, though. I like her.. she sort of reminds me of Shaylee, in a way. Maybe that's part of why I felt the need to defend her so much. Kirrok is giving her a really hard time. I had trouble keeping him off her in the rec area. He and I got into, too.. he kept trying to mess with me and I wasn't having it, so I decked him. But he decked me back. Of course, he's a hell of a lot bigger and stronger than I am. Urivial was there visiting though, and he broke us up until the guards put us back in our cells. She seems like a good person, though. Unless she has a lot to hide and is doing a really good job faking it, she doesn't belong in a place like this.

Didn't get much chance to talk to Urivial in the middle of all the commotion. He's going to try and track down Rosey's uncle so maybe he can get her out of here.. and then he was talking to "K", apparently they knew each other. He told me he'd come back soon when he and I have more time to talk.

He wasn't the only visitor, yesterday.. Dalomere showed up.. of all people.. I was shocked when he walked in.. and then all I saw was red. Pretty much the only times I've ever seen him were at the patrols, fighting against The Grim. As soon as he got close enough, I tried to attack him right through the bars. I tried to punch him, but he saw it coming and grabbed my wrist and twisted it.. asked me what I was thinking. I knew the hate and anger weren't real, but I couldn't let go of the emotions.. I tried to calm down, though.. explained why I turned myself in. How I wanted help. He surprised me.. he said as long as I wanted help, there was hope for me.

I was really upset after he left.. and to be honest, it was because seeing him reminded me of home. I missed Ashenfury a lot right about then.. I think if I wasn't locked up, I would have gone back to Orgimmar. But that's why I put myself in here.. so I can't do that. So I'm forced to figure this whole thing out.

Merriana showed up, later. I always get really anxious when she comes in. I've seen her around before all of this, and I know how she used to be. The anger she carries with her now is palpable. I'm always afraid she's going to unleash it on me, and not that she'd be wrong for doing it. She has bigger problems right now, though.. apparently the cult has taken Sadi, who I guess is her daughter.. since I had come across one of their meetings once and found out her son's involvement, she was hoping I might be able to tell her SOMETHING useful about them. I hated that I didn't have anything to give her... only where I had seen them before, and what they did to Nyali. I can't believe they took Sadi.. Merriana says they wanted to force an exchange.. Sadi for a member of the cult that The Seventy Third is holding. Hopefully they haven't hurt the kid..

[Nikaa]

It doesn't really surprise me that people hold onto their anger/hate/resentment for what I've done. I don't blame them. I hate myself for it, too. But I wonder if they realize I'm trapped in here, somewhere. I don't mean in jail, either. I wonder if any of them remember who I used to be.

It sort of reminds me of when Altherion was corrupted by his axe. Even though everyone said it was making him do the things he did, most of them turned their backs on him, and just gave up on him. I was the only one who wanted to destroy the axe, when the rest wanted to destroy Altherion. Vlynor too, when he was killed and turned forsaken. Do they realize that we ARE still in here, somewhere? Or is it just easier to bury that person in their mind, chalk them up as dead or lost, and go on with life.

[Nikaa]

Rosey reminds me so much of Shaylee. They even look a little bit similar.. and she's around the same age Shaylee was when we all packed up and left home. It's why I'm protective of her. She shouldn't be in here.. she's a good person. Shaylee.. Abby.. Lil.. Jon. I hope I don't let Rosey down, too.

Kirrok kept messing with her in the rec area, and I felt so powerless to stop him or do anything about it. Today was better, though. Painful, but better. Melros came to question me about The Grim. That's the thing I've been dreading the most since I've been in here. I didn't tell him much.. I kept some things secret. I shouldn't- or should I? If I follow what I'm TELLING myself that I SHOULD do.. I'd spill everything.

But forcing myself to follow what I THOUGHT I should be doing is what made me attack Theramore. Maybe I should spend less time doing what I think is expected of me and just follow my heart. Would I make more mistakes by doing that? I certainly made plenty of mistakes by NOT following my heart.

After Melros left, I broke down. I've been trying so hard to be strong in here.. to set an example for the others, if nothing else. I try to put on a brave face, and focus on helping the rest of them. But tonight, I got a few cracks in my wall. It seemed to have an effect on Carl and Kirrok, though. And even the guard, who's name is Krazox. I don't know if it'll last, but things were a little bit better tonight.

Urivial's girlfriend came to visit the other day.. and to warn me that Venedict is searching for me. Already he's broken me out of one jail. I'm determined not to let it happen again. The defenses are better here, but I'm still worried. I warned Merriana, and I'm going to warn Urivial as soon as I see him again.

I wonder if I can request that Melros not be allowed to visit me again. I doubt it..

Oh yeah, I nearly forgot. Evellin came to visit me the other day. I apologized in a letter, but I apologized again to her face, told her I didn't mean it. She actually forgave me. I think we were both relieved. It felt really good. I feel so horrible for hurting her, she never did anything to deserve it. But I think she realizes that wasn't me. We hugged before she left. I don't know when I'll ever see her again, but I'm so glad that's fixed between us. I also asked her to tell Ugraz that I said hi and that I'm safe, if she ever see's him. I don't know if she has any contact with Ugraz.. but I hope so. We have no other way to contact each other. I miss him.

[Nikaa]

Hardly slept last night. My mind's still fuzzy from waking up so its hard to find all the words, and so much has happened since I last wrote.

I'm free now.. kind of. The conditions in the jail were horrible.. the guard, Zeke, did to Carl what The Grim did to me. I fell apart that night, and things were only going downhill from there. I can't believe what Kirrok did to him. My mind was blanking.. I yelled and yelled until they threw me in the hole. Merriana helped get me out. I'm on parole, now. Free, but with a tracking bracelet on my ankle. Two check in's a day.. I can't leave Alliance territory, not even to go to Shattrath. I was going to live in Shattrath with the refugees, but the Judge said no. So now I have nowhere really to go that feels that safe. I found a good spot I won't repeat here.. But I couldn't go there last night. Nyali and Grendze were in Stormwind. I saw Nyali running at me.. Urivial stopped her. She got away. Then Branngas was talking to me by Goldshire and a fist of Horde attacked. I don't know if they were looking for me or if it was random. The only one I recognized was Grendze, though. Branngas brought me back into the city. I didn't feel safe going to my spot so I hid upstairs in a shop and slept there for the night.

Something is wrong with Janaelle.. I'm really worried about her. She keeps singing a song and asking about Venedict and all his children... she says she's looking for Ranavos because Venedict is going to flay him and make him go after Urivial and Taram.. She said a dragon told her.. I think Venedict did something to her mind.. She's ranting and angry and not making any sense, and just keeps singing.. I think he made her insane..

Gotta check in, in a few hours. 8AM and 8PM every day.

[Nikaa]

Every time the alarm bells ring in Stormwind, I find myself rushing towards the scene. If I had any sort of common sense, I'd be running the opposite direction. But I have to know. Who is it this time, and why are they here?

A large fist of horde attacked the Valley of Heroes a couple of days ago. I was on the other side of the city at the time, and by the time I got there it was over. But I saw the bodies scattered along the bridge and just outside the gates. I rushed from one to the next.. breathless, turning them over, checking their faces. They weren't anyone I knew. Not this time.

I saw four people I do know, in the last couple of days. Nyali.. Grendze. The druid who had been attacked by the cult when they captured Nyali- I think she said his name is Dazul. Altherion..

Altherion told me I'm being hunted. That doesn't surprise me.. but I wonder if someone has hired Selash? He's been wanting the excuse for months.. I met a woman who said she knew of him.. Vindilah. She laughed when I mentioned him, and said he's not anyone to worry about.. but the things she told me indicated the opposite.

Two horde attacked the Earthshrine yesterday. I hid behind one of the stones, and watched them dancing around and mocking anyone who tried to chase them out. I didn't know either of them.. but I did feel a tiny sense of outrage that they were there.. there was the feeling of intrusion. It was small, but it was there. Maybe that means I'm slowly starting to feel like Stormwind is home, again.

[Nikaa]

If I thought the night I spent behind those boxes above that shop was uncomfortable, it's nothing compared to this tree.

I had a great spot picked out for myself in the forest. I like being out there so much more than sleeping in the city... and I found some good places for Carl, too. He's never been homeless before, so I spent yesterday evening showing him some options of where to sleep, how to find food and hunt in Elywnn Forest, and I grabbed him some clothes from a farm house. That's when things went bad..

Nyali found us.. I don't know how, but we were just about to leave the farm when I heard growling and then her voice, calling me a traitor. I yelled at Carl to run for Goldshire, but got wrapped up in vines before I could even make it to the road.

She said she wanted to kill me, but give me a clean death. She confirmed that I'm being hunted, probably by Selash.. and that a swift death would be preferable to whatever would happen if I got brought back. I realize now that it never occurred to me to really try to fight her. I was doing everything I could to get away, short of actually drawing blood. Carl kept attacking her and got tore up a little bit.. I told him to knock her out so we could get away.. I hit her with a branch but everytime I tried to run, Carl kept fighting her again. Finally I just gave up and ran for Goldshire by myself.. I won't forget when Trevor got me captured by pulling the exact same thing.. asking questions and waiting rather than running when I said to run. I paid for that dearly by going back for him. I won't make that mistake again. I can only risk so much.

Carl made it to Goldshire shortly after, though. I was afraid to even travel the short distance to Stormwind, even though it's probably only a quarter mile or so. On the other hand, staying in Goldshire is even more dangerous. Carl said we should make a run for it, so we did.. we were within sight of the gates of Stormwind when a Forsaken appeared on the road.. running directly for me with a Paladin chasing him. I thought I felt my heart stop and managed to get off the road and out of the way.. The guard that's been following us around found us shortly after, and patched both of us up.

We talked about it and decided between Nyali attacking me twice in just a couple of days, and Selash or god knows who else possibly hunting me, it's simply too dangerous to stay out in Elwynn. We searched around Stormwind for awhile and Carl found us a spot which was pretty good, but I didn't want to sleep down on the ground where someone could happen across us. I tried the roof but there was no cover, really.. but I found a huge tree nearby, so this is where we ended up. The branches are more than wide enough to sleep on, near the trunk.. It's and uncomfortable, but it feels safe and the leaves are so thick, we can't really be seen from the ground or the air. I wonder if I could snag a bunch of pillows to try to put some padding up here..

[Nikaa]

Ok, NOW I'm getting pissed. Nyali showed up and attacked me for at least the third night in a row. Up until now I've been doing everything in my power short of using a weapon to get away. Not anymore.

It started with a tauren. I had been at the Invictus Sanctum guild hall, peeking in to watch a meeting since it's been so long since I've seen any of them. Cambro was there.. but I'm not ready to talk to him yet. I don't want to see that same look of disappointment or disgust in his eyes that I see with Branngas. Anyway.. I was just leaving and heading back through the forest to Stormwind when a bunch of vines wrapped around me. I was expecting it to be Nyali again.. but instead it was a huge tauren in tribal armor. I had never seen him before.. I managed to get away but he caught up with me at Crystal Lake, before I could quite make it to the city gates. He never did give his name, but he said he was a Protector of The Grim, and he was asking me what made me betray them. (I never fucking betrayed them, but they're too brainwashed to even see it.) In the middle of talking to him, Nyali showed up and started attacking me again. I made it to the shore but she was in her cat form and pinned me. This time I DID stab her, right in the ribs. Deep.. the Tauren stepped on my arm with his hoof to pin it, and Nyali was going for my throat, but I had an extra smoke bomb in my pocket. I managed to get it out and tossed it off to the side. It distracted them only for a split second, but that was all the time I needed to roll to my feet and back into the undergrowth. I headed straight for the gate and almost made it, but then I saw they had both taken bird form and were skimming the road, trying to flush me out. One of them flew past me so close their wings clipped me and I slipped on some loose rocks and fell. I know they had to have seen and heard me, and there was absolutely NO cover nearby- I was out in the open. They were between me and the gates so I had to run for the closest bushes which put me further into the forest, but I lost them. Barely.

Before the Nyali showed up, I told the tauren that I'd only suffer so many more attacks before I'd begin to fight back. Well, that time is passed. If Nyali wants a fight- Fine. She's got one.

[Nikaa]

This is the most free I've felt in a really long time. It came at a price, but it was well worth it.

As it turns out, it was Selash that's been hunting me. And apparently his client was Ashenfury. I suppose that doesn't surprise me too much.. I managed to dodge Selash for quite awhile. Even escaped his first tempt to capture me right out of Stormwind. The second time though, I wasn't so lucky. I had been at one of the Invictus Sanctum guild meetings.. I even let them see me, this time. Cambro talked to me briefly afterwards. He was kind.. told me I still had a place there at the Garrison if I ever needed a place to crash. He said he heard rumors. Rumors that I was dead, that I was Forsaken, that I was a traitor. The word 'traitor' still stung, coming from him. Even though he was only repeating facts that he had heard. Facts that are true. He didn't say it out of any kind of malice, but it still stung.

I was just leaving the Garrison when Selash jumped me. I tried to fight back and escape again, but wasn't as lucky that time. He drugged me and brought me to some warehouse in Booty Bay. I was there for a couple of days before Ashenfury showed up. I'm still not entirely sure what Ash wanted.. he released me from the chains, gave me my weapons and armor, and then expected me to fight him. It was almost laughable.. There's no way I'm capable of fighting someone like Ashenfury. I'm not a fighter. I don't think people realize that. Anyway, the whole thing lasted seconds.. but he didn't kill me. After he had beaten me, he said he expected me to do better next time, and then walked out.

Next time?

Selash came back in and made a pretty solid attempt at murdering me, but I managed to escape with a broken arm and at least a half dozen gunshot wounds. I knew he'd be able to track me from all the blood loss, so I jumped into the water and swam for as long as I could. Figured I was better off taking my chances with the sharks. I eventually dragged myself up onto shore and passed out.

Ugraz found me later the next day. Apparently Carl had found him somewhere in Stormwind and told him I was missing. Selash had broken off that tracking device, so no one knew where I was. Ugraz ended up bring me to Shattrath. He had some other guy with him, Orgruk.. said he was his best friend. He let me radio Carl to let him know I was ok. Carl showed up later on, and we've been here every since. It's been about three days, I guess. Yesterday I was healed up enough that we were able to go to Nagrand. I've been wanting to see it for so long.

Carl.. I'm not sure what to do about that situation, or how I feel about it, other than kind of sad and guilty. I was afraid maybe he was starting to have some feelings for me, but I tried to keep it friendly and keep some distance between us. Sure enough though, he tried to kiss me the other night. Actually, he did. I was just too stunned to really respond. I felt terrible about it, and now things feel kind of awkward. I hate it when that happens.. I really do.

To make matters worse, he's been suffering from whatever Nyali did to him.. I think she must have hit his head really hard, because he keeps having seizures. It's really scary.. he keeps trying to hide it from me, but he had one last night in Nagrand that was pretty bad.

As much as I hate to do it, we're going to have to return to Stormwind today. I can't afford to let Merriana or Branngas think I'm still missing, and possibly endanger themselves or anyone else in trying to hunt me down. Plus, it's the responsible thing to do.. and maybe I can find Janaelle, and see if she can do something about Carl's seizures.

[Nikaa]

Tomorrow is April 19th.. it's still a few hours away, but the curse lives on another year.

I just got a letter and package in the mail. Nyali is dead.. I have a package containing her teeth.. and a lot of blood.

I cried when I read it. I know I shouldn't.. especially since she was trying so hard to kill me. But she was my friend.

I just found out a few days ago that Micael is alive.. I spoke with Mack earlier this evening and found out where Micael is. Tomorrow I'll be going to try to speak with him.

I've had my eye on the calendar for the past week or so, wondering what's going to happen this year. Now I know.

[Nikaa]

It's early morning, April 19th. I looked back over this journal, trying to figure out what was happening this time last year. I have no entries at all, for most of April. But judging by the entries before and after.. I'm pretty sure it was a rough time.

I'm about to leave for Dalaran and try to go see Micael. I don't know what his reaction to seeing me will be.. Porter suggested I leave my weapons behind, in case he tries to attack me. He said Micael won't try to kill someone who's unarmed.

Later, I want to find a place to bury.. what's left of Nyali. I want to bury her somewhere that might have been special to her, but I'm not sure where that would be. This tracking thing on my ankle probably means I can't go anywhere into horde territory to do it. But I refuse to bury her in Elwynn, or anywhere that's officially Alliance territory. It would be wrong.

I'll try to find some place special.

[Nikaa]

I've been staying in Shattrath for the past couple of weeks, helping out the refugees that are still homeless. And sometimes, travelers passing through that have been injured or need some assistance. It's something to stay focused on- and I like it in Shattrath. At least this way, I feel like I can do a bit of good.

Things seem to be going well with Micael. Having him back after spending the last several months thinking he's dead is.. indescribable. He's been recovering in Dalaran so I haven't seen him very much since I've been spending most of my time in Shattrath. But I went to visit him a couple of nights ago- and then last night he and I went to the Faire. He hasn't seen Darkmoon Island since they opened it when he was still missing. But he seemed to love it, and I had a really good time with him last night.

I don't think he knows about Theramore.. he hasn't said anything about it, so I suspect Mack hasn't briefed him yet. That's why I'm keeping myself closely guarded. I still love him, but I can't expect him to forgive me when he finds out what I've done. I certainly can't forgive myself. I'm not sure if Mack is just waiting until Micael is fully recovered, or if he's expecting me to be the one to tell him. But how could I ever tell him something like that?

I saw Linkali at the Faire last night. She asked if Micael was my mate. I denied it, because I know exactly where her line of thinking was going. What better revenge than to strike at someone I care about. I denied it, but I could tell she didn't believe me. I'm sure she could read our body language loud and clear. We spoke briefly. The whole conversation was vaguely threatening, but I wasn't afraid. I feel like its harder to care enough to be afraid, after everything I've done. I worry more for Micael.

Speaking of Linkali and The Grim, I ended up sending Nyali's remains back to them. She deserves a proper burial and I'm not able to give her that without being able to enter horde lands. I included a note explaining why I was sending it to them. I'm sure they still took it as some sort of insult or threat. Too bad.

[Nikaa]

Helping out in Shattrath is nice, and I'm glad I'm doing a good thing.. but not being able to have the freedom to go where I want is leaving me frustrated..

I haven't really seen Micael since the faire. It's ok, cause I think we've both been busy with our own things.. him more so than me. I can't really tell if he's aware that I'm undead.. not that I show it as much.. then again, I'm not exactly a true forsaken.. he's been so fixated on getting well enough to go after Venedict that we haven't had a chance to talk about much else. Sometimes I wonder if he even remembers what happened before he disappeared. Maybe he never even realized I defected, come to think of it.. maybe he disappeared before all of that happened.

I can't stop thinking about that potion Leyu'jin gave me, so many months ago. I wonder what would happen if I got more of it.. if I could begin taking it regularly. I think it might help.. The problem is, there's no way I'd ever be able to get any more from him. I imagine he'd probably try to kill me on sight, if he saw me. Asking him is out of the question. I can't steal it because it isn't something he's got laying around. He said he got it from a troll.. back home, maybe? I wish I could remember exactly what the letter said. But I can't get to it to read it again, cause it's in Orgimmar.

How much longer am I going to be stuck with this damn tracking bracelet?

I've been thinking about this problem constantly, but I'm not really any closer to any ideas.. if I could get rid of this tracker.. I don't know. I think sometimes he mentioned traveling back home. And I think I remember where he said he was born, though I won't even mention it here.

What if I went there? Or followed him...