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Vilmah
09-25-2006, 12:19 PM
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Page 5

SANCTUARY'S TRUE MOTIVES REVEALED!
By Anna Nichole Blacksmith

Sources reported seeing strange goings-on recently, with the allegedly "peaceful" guild known as Sanctuary. Although it's members are known throughout Azeroth and the Eastern Kingdoms as kind and merciful on the battlefield, this was not the case in Orgrimmar several weeks ago.

"I saw him carrying two bodies," says an eyewitness who says he saw Nojinbu (also known as The Frostbite), Sanctuary's Inquisitor. "One was a troll, the other a dog. I ask you, who would kill a dog??"

Other sources say that they watched as Sanctuary's self proclaimed leader, Vilmah Bloodborne, attacked an unarmed senior officer in the Rest In Peace inn, resulting in his untimely demise. This, combined with the antics of Jobolg, who has done considerable property damage due to his recent inventions, makes Sanctuary a considerable threat to the Horde.

Sanctuary; A Threat To Families Everywhere?

Other sources have reported the recent escapades of Sanctuary's officer, known as Rajjah, to be disturbing to say the least. Eye witnesses claim to have seen him frolicking amongst the daisies with several nude Night Elves in Stranglethorn Vale, while wearing nothing more than a dead opossum.

"Yeah, I saw 'em," said Krilluk, a Booty Bay Bruiser. "'course I only got one eye, and the sun was bright, and I'm nearsighted, but I saw 'em! He thought nobody was watchin', so he pulled out his big blue--"

Continued on Page 7

Noury
09-25-2006, 12:37 PM
* Renews his lapsed subscription...* "Because enquiring minds want to know.." :D

/points to headline on front page. Teelia! Say it isn't so!?

Laron
09-25-2006, 12:46 PM
((I love the work!)))

Jobolg
09-25-2006, 12:47 PM
((On a hilarious note, I honestly remember SEEING the actual tabloid you editied to make the front page on the rack at Wal*Mart a couple years ago. The bottom right picture's caption was originally something like "Amazing Bat-boy Found in Cave."))

Jobolg calmly glanced over the paper in his comfortable fold-out chair currently positioned deep in the back of an owlbear cave in Winterspring. He was kept warm as he did this by a soft owlbear cloak, and his feet were propped up upon an owlbear which was covered by an owlbear rug.

"Considerable threat to the Horde? Well, this could be a bit bad. Why do these folks always have to twist everything around? Damndable media!" Jobolg exclaimed, rolling the paper up and holding it beneath his finger tips, where it set aflame and quickly crumbled to ashes. "Guess I should get to work on something helpful to turn around this bad publicity."

About that time another owlbear came charging into the cave. Silently, Jobolg pondered to himself, 'I wonder if this one would look good as a hat.'

Keraph
09-25-2006, 01:04 PM
WHAT DID YOU SAY? I CAN'T HEAR YOU! DEAF? NO....SELECTIVE HEARING

Nadea
09-25-2006, 02:09 PM
((BAHAHAHA!!!))

Verloran
09-25-2006, 03:28 PM
Verloran looks over the front page, quickly tossing the magazine in the trash.

"This is all a load of Nightsaber crap... I hope."

Teelia
09-25-2006, 03:54 PM
Teelia writes in a letter to the Enquirer:

"I demand a retraction. Everyone knows my high school sweetheart was torn to bits by the scourge in Andorhal. That picture is a fake! Enclosed is a letter from my lawyer discussing the impending lawsuit.

Love,

Teelia"

((ROFLMAO. Brilliant! More! More!))

Shadowspeak
09-25-2006, 06:13 PM
((HAHAHAHAHA... HAHAHAHAHAHA! The cover with manus' son is PRICELESS))

Shadowspeak
09-25-2006, 06:14 PM
((boo... just saw the part about me. :evil: ))

Edi: then realized the age listed was 69. heh))

Shadowspeak
09-25-2006, 06:16 PM
"Yeah, I saw 'em," said Krilluk, a Booty Bay Bruiser. "'course I only got one eye, and the sun was bright, and I'm nearsighted, but I saw 'em

((Family guy quote? I THINK YES. Vilmah you win.

for today.
))

EnheilRas
09-26-2006, 04:06 PM
*As both Manus' sons were murdered by the humans of Hammerfall, and thus cremated and buried by their father personally.. the Warmaster heads off.. for warring...*

Shadowspeak
09-26-2006, 07:52 PM
*flips to page seven*