Jobolg
09-18-2006, 04:33 PM
(Regular Horde News:)
LEGALIZED MANIAC ON THE LOOSE
No property is safe in recent weeks, as a string of accidental destructive acts have occured, ranging from exploding buildings to localized hysteria in the Valley of Wisdom. Without the stupid but hard working peons of the Horde, these incidents may have become a massive problem for inner city travel and safety in not only Orgrimmar, but Thunder Bluff, the Undercity, and at least a dozen smaller towns. When asked how the problems made him feel, one of the peons on repair duty simply replied "Me work soooo hard.. Me sooo tired... WHY BUILDINGS KEEP GO BOOM?!"
The cause? Local "Super Genius" crackpot orc inventor Jobolg, and a pair of his very own summoned demons, an imp and a felbeast. When information he was the cause was delivered to us by an anonymous source (more than one, actually, as it seems this character has become quite well known in many parts for his destructive tendencies), we immediately sent one of our sneakiest reporters to investigate. Jobolg was found sequestered in one of the buildings in Gadgetzan, hard at work on what appeared to be high-powered explosives.
We questioned the local goblins on his work, but were met with agitated hostility when we asked how they felt about his horrible destructive tendencies. Quoted directly from one of these goblins, "The orc is an absolute genius! The most brilliant mind we've had here in Gadgetzan for as long as I can remember, and his presence here has made us more profits than any other venture we've undertaken in a long time. You'll speak of such a great mind with more respect!" Why these goblins have such a high respect for this orc, we shall never know!
An attempt was made at a direct interview with the inventor himself, but the only words we were able to squeeze out of him were broken sentences. "Huh?" "What?" "Did I do tha.." "Oh for the love of (string of expletives deleted)..." "Shoo, shoo! I'm busy!"
The worst part about all Jobolg's blatantly destructive behavior? Everything has been completely legal...
So if you see this orc, steer clear if you value your property and your life.
(Goblin News:)
ORC GENIUS MAKES MORE PROGRESS!!!
You know him, you love him, he's made more progress in our favorite profession of engineering than anyone we know in recent history, and he's probably even made you a few coins! He's Jobolg, orc genius extraordinaire, and he's been hard at work all over the continents furthering the cause!
In the Valley of Wisdom, he perfected the creation of the.. ech.. Gnomish Mind Control Cap.. using ENTIRELY NON-GNOMISH METHODS!! In fact, much to our delight, Goblin Rocket Fuel was used in it's creation! Brilliant! And the only side effects were a bit of - completely temporary - localized hysteria! We are sure there weren't too many long-lasting effects, anyhow.
Early morning in the Valley of Honor, he successfully produced an entirely new form of our proud goblin explosive, The Big One, managing to compact it to the size of a goblin palm without losing any effectiveness! Sure, a building or three was blown up in the process, but the peons fixed them in no time flat! Only a few people even noticed they were missing for a short period of time! All in the name of science! What an orc, what an orc! He even invented a harvest reaper capable of stealing weapons from guards! Though.. the actual incidence of this was purely accidental and has been forgiven.
An atrocity recently has occurred to this fine specimen, however... Twisted reporters have shown up and attempted to record his marvelous achievements as "blatantly destructive behavior." We call upon you, as proper enterprising goblin folk, to protect this proud and most profitable orc hero from further intrusions! Because these intrusions take away from his time, and as goblins, we know...
Time is money!
LEGALIZED MANIAC ON THE LOOSE
No property is safe in recent weeks, as a string of accidental destructive acts have occured, ranging from exploding buildings to localized hysteria in the Valley of Wisdom. Without the stupid but hard working peons of the Horde, these incidents may have become a massive problem for inner city travel and safety in not only Orgrimmar, but Thunder Bluff, the Undercity, and at least a dozen smaller towns. When asked how the problems made him feel, one of the peons on repair duty simply replied "Me work soooo hard.. Me sooo tired... WHY BUILDINGS KEEP GO BOOM?!"
The cause? Local "Super Genius" crackpot orc inventor Jobolg, and a pair of his very own summoned demons, an imp and a felbeast. When information he was the cause was delivered to us by an anonymous source (more than one, actually, as it seems this character has become quite well known in many parts for his destructive tendencies), we immediately sent one of our sneakiest reporters to investigate. Jobolg was found sequestered in one of the buildings in Gadgetzan, hard at work on what appeared to be high-powered explosives.
We questioned the local goblins on his work, but were met with agitated hostility when we asked how they felt about his horrible destructive tendencies. Quoted directly from one of these goblins, "The orc is an absolute genius! The most brilliant mind we've had here in Gadgetzan for as long as I can remember, and his presence here has made us more profits than any other venture we've undertaken in a long time. You'll speak of such a great mind with more respect!" Why these goblins have such a high respect for this orc, we shall never know!
An attempt was made at a direct interview with the inventor himself, but the only words we were able to squeeze out of him were broken sentences. "Huh?" "What?" "Did I do tha.." "Oh for the love of (string of expletives deleted)..." "Shoo, shoo! I'm busy!"
The worst part about all Jobolg's blatantly destructive behavior? Everything has been completely legal...
So if you see this orc, steer clear if you value your property and your life.
(Goblin News:)
ORC GENIUS MAKES MORE PROGRESS!!!
You know him, you love him, he's made more progress in our favorite profession of engineering than anyone we know in recent history, and he's probably even made you a few coins! He's Jobolg, orc genius extraordinaire, and he's been hard at work all over the continents furthering the cause!
In the Valley of Wisdom, he perfected the creation of the.. ech.. Gnomish Mind Control Cap.. using ENTIRELY NON-GNOMISH METHODS!! In fact, much to our delight, Goblin Rocket Fuel was used in it's creation! Brilliant! And the only side effects were a bit of - completely temporary - localized hysteria! We are sure there weren't too many long-lasting effects, anyhow.
Early morning in the Valley of Honor, he successfully produced an entirely new form of our proud goblin explosive, The Big One, managing to compact it to the size of a goblin palm without losing any effectiveness! Sure, a building or three was blown up in the process, but the peons fixed them in no time flat! Only a few people even noticed they were missing for a short period of time! All in the name of science! What an orc, what an orc! He even invented a harvest reaper capable of stealing weapons from guards! Though.. the actual incidence of this was purely accidental and has been forgiven.
An atrocity recently has occurred to this fine specimen, however... Twisted reporters have shown up and attempted to record his marvelous achievements as "blatantly destructive behavior." We call upon you, as proper enterprising goblin folk, to protect this proud and most profitable orc hero from further intrusions! Because these intrusions take away from his time, and as goblins, we know...
Time is money!