Chronicle of Dark Secrets

[Leeleei]

CHRONICLE
of
DARK SECRETS








A Word of Caution to Intruders:
This Journal is Protected with a Spell which may cause an Arcane
Explosion and/or your Transformation into a defenseless Cat.

KEEP OUT.

[Leeleei]

October 1st.

"Spare the words, if you came here to apologize!"

Yes, I said it, that's right. Told it right to her face as she stood there, towering over me with her friendless face. Well-- I suppose I didn't exactly say it to her face, but I did say it in my head anyway just as she walked up. It should count for something, don't you think-- ugh.

I know, I know. I'm still a coward.



http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

[Leeleei]

October 8th.

Dearest Little Diary,

I've stolen a spare minute to write this entry in hopes of clearing my head and continuing my research as appropriate. As always, I am blocked by my desire for accuracy and precision from completing the report in a timely manner-- and I've become unmotivated by the possibility that the discoveries within my research will be considered nothing more than mediocre. The pressure to impress is draining me, and I must admit that the amount of stress of this position is inversely related to the declining amount of my bundle of bloodthistle. I know, I know, as if I don't have enough against me than go around getting the reputation of a thistlehead. But please, who would ever tell anyone if I do have some bloodthistle once or twice-- certainly not you, right?

I am aware that I have to prove on a daily basis that I am a magi worthy of association. I've been careful enough to avoid situations requiring any form of incriminating disclosure and have been successful at camouflaging into someone deserving of association. Actually, I'd bet that over half of the magocracy is completely unaware that I am Sin' Dorei. But every now and then, under my violet cowl, I feel like an intruder and am reminded that those like me rarely have the opportunity to prove themselves within the arts of magic... especially with that strumpet around. What a disgraceful relation of our honorable Sylvannas. I can't wait to prove her wrong.

Hmm. Seems like my minute is up.



http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

[Leeleei]

October 13th.

He received the letter I sent, I presume. I’m sure. But there was never any confirmation. The day came to a close without his response and I thought I should confront the courier, but her face was notably indifferent, even offering a smile. Delivered.

Delivered? But did take it? Did he read it? Was there any indication that he knew what he held? Did he— Is there any way to know whether or not the seal was broken, or whether he did open it but hasn’t read it, or if he did read it and now will find me to say he lov— or if… if he disposed of everything inside my heart I once thought that I should mention.


...

[Leeleei]

January 24th.

Dearest Little Diary,

I leave you no choice but to accept my apology for neglecting you the past few weeks. I've been repulsively busy working, believe it or not. And, believe it or not, within the last few weeks my services for the Kirin Tor have rendered me exalted among them.

To be truthful, the spirit of neutrality I acquired here in Dalaran gave me a feeling of progress and accomplishment; one which fueled my desire to follow through in the magocracy and to positively represent the Horde. I joined many others in Icecrown on an innumerate number of attempts to move through the fight against Arthas, and even heard rumors of forming a temporary association with the Alliance in hopes of defeating Arthas promptly and effectively. My drive and sense of accomplishment, however, was short lived. In the two days I returned to Silvermoon, I encountered less tolerance and equity than I could have ever imagined still existed. And I wonder, do these citizens even know what is going on in our world? You know, the real problems, the big picture? Ugh. What am I fighting for? These blind fighters on both sides causing chaos, refusing even to listen. Fools. It's hard to keep motivated when any attempts at progress seem futile.

And so I've returned to Dalaran on an extended break from battle. I need to clear my head, clear my mind. Oh, and to think more about that elven man I just met, without interruption. And of his hair. And his face. And-- Oh, but I can't tell you more than that just yet! -- Wait, where was I? Oh yes, I am ready to enjoy being back in Dalaran.



http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

[Leeleei]

March 9th.

Minn'da, minn'da.-~
My dearest, darling minn'da;

Doral ana'diel, minn'da? I ask you this knowing fully that I can never receive your response. But dearest mother, if you could only see how much I miss you today. If only I could let you know how much I wish you were still here to see me through my life, to advise me, to congratulate me-- If only you could see me now.

Mother, I am in love! In love, and I don't know what to do. If only you could be here to see how my heart stops whenever he's around. Or to laugh at the varying shades of red my complexion takes every time he compliments me. If only I could speak to you about the million things I feel, and have you here to smile and to tell me it's will all turn out okay. If only I could see your face to reassure me that things end up this way and there's still room for love. Mother, if only you could see how much I need you here.

I hold your face in every memory of that last day when we were all together-- The calm of your expression, the reassuring smile-- Mother, if you had known, would you have left with us? Would you have stepped into the portal to be with us now? Why did you have to stay to fight? I held your hand so tightly and you told me to let go, to step in, to leave. And I moved in closer, step by step and still looking back at you as you reassured me with that smile of yours, until the energy consumed me and I was elsewhere where you were not.

If only you could be here now and I could be reassured that it's okay to step in closer-- to love him without being afraid of what can happen. I miss you so much, mother.



http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Childhood%20Photos/bornthumb1-3.jpg
My mother, father, and I when I was an infant.
~-.This is my only photograph of my mother and I.-~

Be with the light, mother.


http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

[Leeleei]

June 19th.

WHY THAT STUPID, SELFI-----~'

UGH!

Never. Again.

Never.




http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

[Leeleei]

June 19th.

Dearest Little Diary,

From this second forward I shall remain composed and he shall never be spoken of again. Agreed? Very well.



(¯`v´¯)
.`•.¸.•´
¸.•´¸.•´¨) . ¸.•*¨)
(¸.•´ . (¸.•´ .•´ ¸ la la la la .-~


Now, darling, where was I? Hmm... yes! My, it really has been another long time since my last real entry. You'll have to accept my apology again. Things just get so-- funny.

This morning I haven't a thing to do. Well, that I can and care to do, anyway. I have a dress pending to that I am to make for Miss Aeross and, had it not been for the fact that those absurd goblin creatures jeopardized every one of my fine fabric and textile imports from the Stormwind and Darnassus, I would be working on it right now.

And, no. Don't you even begin to look at me like that. Perish the thought! -- I am not about to go retrieve my misplaced goods myself, if that's what you're thinking. By the light! I could ruin my great hair day if I were to meddle with the filthy Alliance today! You absurd little book, what ideas do you put in me?! I am one to appreciate the finer crafts of the humans and the night elves, but to seek them out myself and risk getting pulled into combat? Oh, no. No, no, no. That is what that unserviceable pack of goblins is to be for! If they ever did anything right.

In any case, I suppose I could finally arrange some of the pending business affairs I have down in Silvermoon, or get back to work on those mechanical critters I intended to make. I suppose either will keep me sufficiently entertained until something better comes along.

Hmm. I fear I've taken too much time already with this entry. So until next time.



http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

[Leeleei]

June 23rd.

Dearest Little Diary,

I've spent all day in Silvermoon crafting away in the engineering shop and --Guess what?! (Oh, you'll be so happy for me!)-- I managed to fix my Goblin Capturing Active Movement Electric Radiating Apparatus. Yes, that's right: My C.A.M.E.R.A.! Can you believe it? HAH! Six months broken and not an engineer in town could fix it, until I did it myself. And Daddy said nothing "delightful" could ever come of my grand mastery in Goblin Engineering or of my fascination for crafting toys and gadgets. Well, darling, look who is delighted now. Hmph.

Anyway, I managed to capture a few images and I wanted to share them with you.





http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Current%20Photos/Engineering3.jpg [] - - -.,,.--- Custom Doll Schematic []
~-. Me working on Dolls .-~
(Ooh! Aren't they so cute? My dollies are getting better each time!)......................................... X ( Y X ) - Z / 4 [] [] Q ( 3 ) + Y [][] X Z / Y + 4 ( Y )


~-. A Brand New Pet Bombling! .-~
I managed to make this Pet Bombling from scraps I had lying around in my toolbox.
http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Current%20Photos/Engineering2.jpg . . . . . . . . . . http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Current%20Photos/Engineering1.jpg
.................................................. .................................................. .................................................. .................................................. ..~-. I fixed this broken robot and now he works again! .-~

So what do you think? Maybe I should resign with the Kirin Tor and dedicate my time to this engineering thing. ...

Hmm. But Dad wouldn't like that, would he. And would I still be considered "respectable" if I were to abandon my oh-so-grand association with the Kirin Tor? Or would I consider myself respectable if I didn't live up to my expectations?

Ugh.



http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

[Sabeinne]

((I love the way you formatted this...I enjoy even just looking at it.))

[Leeleei]

July 28th.

Dearest Little Diary,

I had a dream last night that I was strolling through a striking grassy region barefoot. The air danced with me and I felt like I was headed home.

I vaguely observed a city structure ahead of me, but I focused on the fact that the place vacant. It was just me—Just me walking placidly alongside a lake encircling this city and chasing tiny luminescent tufts of matter for hours on end.

Upon catching one flying directly above me, I was startled at the lavender hue to my skin. I looked at the sky and back down at my surroundings, realizing where I really was. And what I was.

I pressed myself to verify my deduction, forcing step after step toward the lake to get a glimpse of my reflection. When I finally reached the lake, I maintained my sight directly forward, resisting changing the direction of my glance toward the lake below me. When I mustered the courage, my face gravitated toward the lake to see.

Before I could, I woke up.

* * *

There's nothing quite like the feeling of not knowing yourself to get you back into writing in a personal journal.




http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

[Leeleei]

July 29th.

Dearest Little Diary,

It occurred to me that I've been staying in too many days. And by that, I mean that I am jealous that everyone else seems to be going out and doing things that I should be doing too. Don't you think?

Don't you?

... Well, what do you know anyway.

There is some talk about certain outings for the empowerment of the Horde led by the Dej Dynastus barony, both siblings Lord and Lady. I do hope they are exercising due privilege in the maintenance of any recovered relic which may be of use. I keep thinking I should be there to help. Or, if anything, at least to verify that the best and most powerful resources are, indeed, kept with our kind.

I wonder if there is anything to do today. I want to do something fun, maybe even purposeful. I'll leave on that note.



http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Boutique%20-%20Azerothian%20Haute%20Couture/SiteEss/LeeleeiSig-1.png

PS. I know! Perhaps I will head to the Kirin Tor library today and develop a spell to make you fill in blank spaces with intuitive information. Ahah! It might make you infinitely more helpful.

[Leeleei]

http://i742.photobucket.com/albums/xx65/leeleei_lightsong/Current%20Photos/Lightsong-Sisters.png
Almost forgot to place this picture here for safe-keeping. It's the most recent picture
of my sisters and me taken outside Silvermoon. I even managed to get along with my
older sister for the entire duration of the posing. Well, almost.
~-.The Lightsong Sisters.-~