The Gossip Gazette: Issue #1

[The Gossip Gazette]

The first issue has a colorful cover with some of the following headlines.


Patriarch of the Cross - Insane?

Our First Round of Reader Tips!

Sanctuary's Latest Connection...

A Secret Summons

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The editorial page at the beginning of the gazette has the short letter.

"Dear Readers,

Thank you so very much for making our teaser issue such a success! We've completely sold out of the laminated Collector's Editions that were on sale only in Booty Bay. Now, it's time for what you've been waiting for... our first full issue!

More articles on the latest happenings and speculation, as well as rumors you didn't hear anywhere before here... not to mention the first of the reader tips that have come rolling in, which took up the majority of our pages! Unfortunately, there was a malfunction with the blackroom not being so black, so we don't have any photographs to show you at this time. But you'll be so busy reading you won't even notice!

Be sure to tell your friends to buy their own copy of The Gossip Gazette, Issue #1! And don't miss Issue #2, due at every goblin retailer soon!"

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The following pages contain these articles with some generic photographs for decoration and implication.

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According to a goblin source, the Patriarch of the Raven Cross, Diomades Riverhorn, has been missing for one simple reason - he's been locked up for medical insanity. Doubtlessly the strain of leading such a violent and rebellious group finally got to the tauren... Will he recover?

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They say the Head Bishop of the Stormwind temple sent out a summons... but to who? Have you spotted or heard of an unusual visitor? Send in your tips!

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Meanwhile, the leader of Sanctuary, Vilmah Bloodborne, is up to her usual hijinks. She's been seen with the draenei paladin Ignas Mordanas in Dalaran. Although the two appeared to be doing nothing more than sitting quietly, what is the truth of this latest cross-faction interaction?

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Reader Tips: You Heard it From the Source!

One reader writes... "Heidenreich was overheard, this evening, extolling the virtues of another new recruit placed under his mentorship. While he had choice words for her appearance, wingman Henri Fynne suggested the mystery lady may become conquest number...5 for the seasoned fighter. His long time love, Lisbet, cannot be happy about this turn of events."

Another reader writes... "Lady Tiraline Athamans and Trigin Steelblade look a lot alike...and I've heard her talking about an uncle who visited her a lot but she never went to visit. Her dad didn't like her uncle for reasons she was never told. That's what I've heard."

And one reader had several tidbits to offer... "The Crusader, Rohan Orcslayer, has been seen spending a strange amount of time around and conversing with not only Undead corpses but Orcs. There is a confirmed rumor that he is even dating one of the green-skins.

"There is a delightful new tavern which has been spotted, yes 'spotted' as it seems to move, catering to Alliance patrons. However, it rarely seems to operate within Alliance territory. Is it a legitimate organization or is there a reason strange things seem to happen within its vicinity?

"Seriously now, has anyone ever known of a midget Orc to survive childhood?"

Yet another reader offers the following... "Rumor has it that a notable noble in Silvermoon is harboring a known fugitive in the considerable confines of his estate. The Blood Knights are looking for the felon, but a little bird told us that the Captain in charge of this criminal's capture is embroiled in the affair for more lascivious purposes. Will the Captain cuff his crooked crush? Only time will tell... "

And one reader wrote this very interesting letter... What's your opinion? Send in your own letter to respond!


Though I cannot share, at this time, my own helling identity, I have been meaning to reveal the TRUE face of a certain well-known organization permeating many of our faction's affairs.

This diabolical group is known to most as 'Sanctuary.'

Their stated purpose is singular: To bring peace between the Alliance and the Horde.

Their actual purpose, however, is far more diabolical. After a small amount of research, I have discovered the following (very disturbing) fact concerning this organization:

THEY ARE ALL HOMOSEXUALS.

Now, do not be alarmed, as I was, initially. Granted, it is an alarming revelation, but not one that cannot be dealt with. Their agenda -- the homosexual agenda -- is almost certainly to destabilize relations not only between the Alliance and the Horde, but the neutral factions of Steamwheedle Cartel and several others. This destabilization will lead inevitably to a downfall of all said factions, that they might step in and take over, ultimately forcing all of our women into slavery, and pushing the HOMOSEXUAL lifestyle onto the remaining men!

Indeed, this could be catastrophic!

Therefore, I am allowing that this information be released BEFORE something terrible happen.

Most Sincerely,

Helling Anonymous

Post Scriptum:

My proof for these things must remain archived. However, I shall allow that I have seen all of the members of their group engaging in unnatural orgiastic rituals. And indeed, all those pretending to be women are in-fact men.

[Lysimachus]

((In the Character of Nevitt Autumnburst))

Having attended to my morning tasks, I found it reasonable to return to the Crystal Parlor for a brief rest. There, however, I found the Marquess -- he was holding some manner of newspaper, chuckling to himself.

He looked at me. "Helling Magister! Come over here, come read this! Positively fascinating, I must say!"

I did approach him. Upon coming closer, I realized it was the latest issue of The Gossip Gazette. Such unbecoming material to be reading. Leaning over his shoulder, I scanned through the articles. "Well, sir. Seems to me just a bit of rumormongering."

He pulled his head back in an expression of disbelief. Jabbing at the paper, he corrected me. "It is a VERY reasonable publication of INTEGRITY, you helling whelp." His finger traveled down to the letter at the bottom of the page. "I ESPECIALLY like this one. It's strange how correct about some things some people can be!"

I rolled my eyes, "Indeed, sir" and decided I would take an early lunch.

[Cabriel]

((^^You bitch.))

[Tiraline]

Lady Tiraline Athamans laid down the paper, grinding her teeth. When she found out who had passed on her random contemplations about her extended family...

No you won't. The voice was a loud in her head, shattering her thoughts of petty vengeance.

She frowned in irritation. Trigin and I look NOTHING alike.

Absolutely. You're much prettier.

Tiraline blushed a little, then scowled again, this time playfully. Stop changing the subject.

What's for dinner?

Issachar!

Why are you yelling at me? I'm only asking you what's for dinner.

When Tiraline scurried off to start on the meal, Issachar quietly took up the paper and tossed it into the brazier outside their door.

[Vardyag'n]

((Wow, I've only known the character for a short while, and it is so obvious who it is just from the letter!))

[Tiraline]

((Extremely obvious.))

[Sifar]

Sifar's brow furrowed as she flipped through the latest news rag. She hadn't meant to read it, but the wait for her friends had grown boring. It was sitting there, it's glossy cover just begging her to open it. Her curiosity won out. Reaching the inner pages, she let slip, "Bloody 'ell."

Looking up, her eyes glared at no one in particular. "Tha' lass has nay class wha'soe'er." As if judging the paper itself, she tossed it under the bench she'd been lounging on and stalked off for the flightmaster.

[Vilmah]

Vilmah pouted, rolled up the newspaper, and began beating it against the wall.

"I! AM! NOT! A! MIDGET!"

She paused in thought.

"..wait, homosexuals?"

[Kirick]

"You read it, you bought it, pal!"

Kirick stared at the copy of the rag, blinking slowly. With a long-suffering sigh, he handed the goblin merchant a few silver to pay for the issue. What, if anything, he thought of the articles, he did not share.

[Cabriel]

The goblin didn't seem to notice that the coins Cabriel slipped him were silver-plated lead.

Scanning the headlines, he sipped his tall hot chocolate with extra whipped cream and raised his eyebrows at the news.

"Juicy gossip..."

After all, if it was in the paper, there must be some semblance of truth.

[Vardyag'n]

Traedral stares at a stack of copies a goblin merchant has, not having enough money to buy them. She wouldn't be able to read them, even if she bought one, but still. She is a child, and it has her intrest.

[Boudika]

Boudika plopped down on the bench and caught the paper fluttering in the breeze out of the corner of her eye. "Huh? Whuzzis?" Picking it up and giving it a quick shake, her eyes scan the print, her eyebrows furrowing with every new paragraph.

Suddenly her eyes open wide and her jaw drops. "Oh....no. Nononono. This cant be good." Looking around nervously she rolls up the paper and tucks it in her belt. A small snarl beginning to form on her lips, she hurries down to the underbelly muttering curses the whole way.

[Bellsa]

Bellsa leans back against the wall, seated on the balcony of the Legerdemain Lounge with a mug of tea beside her as she thumbs through the paper. After a few moments she pauses, a look of confusion crossing her face. She looks up at the owl perched on the railing.

"Midgets? Homosexuals? Moving taverns? Mochni, they've all gone mad!"

Bellsa snorts, cramming the paper inside of her bag and then climbs to her feet.

[Malethia]

"Roslynn, dear - what was my excuse for buying this paper again?"

The huntress called out from the closet, as Malethia lounged in the bed. "You said you wanted to make sure nothing slanderous was being said about Sanctuary."

"And what did you say my real reason was?"

"I said it's because you've been neglecting your roguish training in gossip-mongering and need to catch up."

"Ah. Right." Malethia shrugged and opened the paper to scan its headlines. When she got near the end, she sighed in frustration. "...orgiastic rituals indeed. Roslynn, my love...are you secretly a man?"

"Well no, of course - wait, what?"

"Nevermind. I think I need to write a letter..."

[Cyrass]

Cyrass looked over the paper with a twisted, annoyed look spread across his face. He laid the paper down on the table before him, and gave it another look over before standing and taking a step back. An irritated sigh, a swiftly raised hand, and a flash of flame in his palm. The tabloid burst into flame, quickly being turned to nothing but ash. In a frustrated tone, he muttered "nothing but lies and slander!"