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View Full Version : Sanctuary 'Judgmement Letter' Hilarity.


Grisch
07-06-2006, 01:35 PM
Ok, here's the deal. Every now and then, Sanctuary's Alliance side representative 'Tarislar' the elf, sends out a bunch of letters to people who have been added to the guilds ever growing KOS list, along with a piece of 'Deathweed'.

Here is what it says in the letter, entitled "Judgement":


You have been offered a chance to redeem yourself.

Sanctuary is a guild dedicated to the preservation of the Truce. Whilst honourable duels between Horde and Alliance are acceptable when the opponents are of equal stature, you have shown that you have no regard for honor in battle.

You have thus been marked for death by Sanctuary. Contact me if you wish redemption. Until that time however, the death mark stands.

The choice is yours.

With the terrible rate of illiteracy that seems to be suffered by the Alliance, most of these letters are simply returned to us, apparently unread. Many are never answered, some recieve replies that are so badly garbled that it is impossible to make out what they're saying.

But every now and then we get a real hum-dinger. A reply that just has to be filed away for posterity.

For your enjoyment and mirth, I post here some of the pathetic scribblings we've recieved:


"Bigshot"-WTF IS THIS NONSENCE
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"Hermis"- No honor eh? Well that's not a very nice thing to say. I am a compassionate person. Also anything you throw at me I can and will beat ((Also I am keeping the Deathweed))
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Mutahhar - Dearest Tarislar, This gift should explain my stance regarding your 'Death Mark'. After reading it, I figured you were missing these.

((Attached "Dented Crate" Venture company supplies, inside, two 'handfull of copper screws'. This one did get a chuckle.))
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Turnhinhe - The horde is a festering wound on the face of Azeroth...blah blah... they have no honor... blah blah... I shall have none... blah blah There can be no peace or Truce...blah...*yawn* (paraphrased and edited by Grisch)
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((This one is gold! I sincerely hope this kid isn't out of grade school. We're not even sure which faction he's fighting for, but we wish him luck none the less.))

Tholdin-dont bug me ill kill who i want
ps im goin to a lot more now
long live the allince Razz Razz Razz
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((Accused of GY camping anyone who rezzes near BB))
Keylib - this i do not understand. As far as I know i have hurt no one - horde like to eat me for a snack - they are the ones in the wrong

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((And our E-peen winner for the day!))
Reaves! A warm round of aplause please!

Reaves replies:

Redemption? Don't kid yourself. No fear has been sturck in my heart by some lowclass guild that I've never even heard of!!

So if this is a challenge of some sort I accept it. If it is a threat, then do your worst my "friend". As the shadowblade of Elune, I shall not back down from you or your allies. Just remember you brought this on yourself mate.

Reaves Crimsonfang
Shadowblade of Elune
___________________

((OH! And a follow up reply from Keylib, in which he returns the Deathweed.))
Keep it - sounds like you have a problem of ur own.
___________________

((This one, in a stunning display of originality, returns the letter, and not the deathweed))
Kazern - HERE IS YOUR LETTER LAME ASS
___________________

All in all, pretty much what I expected from Alliance kiddies, but entertaining nonetheless. Now if only one of them would make a post on the main boards and give us some free advertising.
Grisch
07-06-2006, 01:44 PM
Oh, and to clarify. All of you role-players who bravely push on in that kindergarten that is the Alliance faction on Twisting Nether, you have my utmost empathy and support.

After thirty minutes over there, I yearn for the dank halls of Undercity and practically cry with joy at the sight of the Orgrimmar auctioneers.

To each and every brave Alliance roleplayer on these boards, a most sincere. ***!!!THANK YOU!!!***
Vilmah
07-06-2006, 02:13 PM
I can't wait to send letters..!! I call the next batch!
Aendra
07-06-2006, 02:44 PM
You're welcome! You know what would be great payment, though? If you'd give us more jobs! <3

I remember when I was low-20s, you asked about us doing a job in Ganklethorn, now we're all growed-up, so hop on over and we can talk! Or hell, just come roleplay with us.


Mutahar must have spent way too much time thinking on his response. Unlike Bigshot's misspelled one-line zinger.
Grisch
07-06-2006, 02:46 PM
I can't wait to send letters..!! I call the next batch!

Ok, you can send the next batch. But you're not allowed to make them cry this time! Just the letter ok? You don't have to kick them in the danglies when you hand it over either.
Teelia
07-06-2006, 02:46 PM
Grisch, you should keep sending these letters to Bigshot....Keep it going...and keep us updated. That stuff is comedy gold.

hehe.
Grisch
07-06-2006, 02:47 PM
Hee hee, I sent another batch, and mistakenly sent another to Tholden. This guy is gold! I actually want to send him more. He bites each time!
Teelia
07-06-2006, 02:49 PM
Don't forget to send one to Prathe. That jerk would probably be worth hours of entertainment. hehe.
Vilmah
07-06-2006, 02:55 PM
You don't have to kick them in the danglies when you hand it over either.

But that's the BEST PART!
Laron
07-06-2006, 02:58 PM
Does his best to protect his "Danglies" Hope I never get one of those letters. Though I am pretty honorable, so my two pals should be safe.
Leyujin
07-06-2006, 04:09 PM
...well, pretty hilarious. However, I don't quite get your KoS list... especially since I've run into Mutahhar many times, and he's a pretty fun individual. He'll fight you one on one, gank you with a friend or several, or just sit there in a dress and dance. Don't know anyone else on the list, but what's the criteria for selecting KoSers?
Vilmah
07-06-2006, 07:03 PM
gank you with a friend or several,

what's the criteria for selecting KoSers?

That.
Chingaso
07-06-2006, 07:10 PM
Don't forget to send one to Prathe. That jerk would probably be worth hours of entertainment. hehe.
Oh yes. That would be priceless.
Leyujin
07-06-2006, 07:33 PM
Guess you'd have to nominate half to three fourths of the Alliance population, then.

And as far as the term "gank" was concerned (liberally in this case), I've had him team up on me outside Crossroads, for gods sake... and that's about it. You talking about it using the definition of attacking someone on a mob, lower level or at low health and camping?
Fhenrir
07-06-2006, 07:44 PM
If I were in your shoes I'd probably take the RP responses off my KoS list. Or at least put them on a "Roleplay KoS list", because it seems like you're lumping them in with the nonRpers

Then again, I /salute any and all roleplaying done on this server. :D


P.S:
Mutahhar is always fun. Hell, I can spend all night ganking him for you if you want. :twisted:
Grisch
07-06-2006, 08:58 PM
(( Ok Leyujin, lemme explain, completely out of character here, the point of the KOS list is to have a fairly large list of people we can kill. Yes, we probably will end up with 80% of the Alliance on it. We WANT TO PVP. We're just trying to add some RP flavor to it.

The point is they also each get a chance to get off of it by roleplaying.

All they have to do is ask for redemption and they are given a quest of redemption. If they want to wave their e-peens about and be all hardcore, whether they're IC or OOC, they stay on the list.

Those like Laron who stick to certain rules are safe from us, even if we erronously add them, they still get to appeal. They might get kicked in the danglies first by Vilmah, but well, some things are just unavoidable.

And lastly, goddamn, it's a PvP server, we could just say: "ROFEL N00B L2PVP LOL!!11 PvE---->" instead of adding someone to a KOS list before attacking them.

Hope that clarifies things Leyujin.))
Zasu
07-06-2006, 09:40 PM
I love you guys.
Chingaso
07-06-2006, 09:41 PM
((I may have to roll an alt just to join Sanctuary...))
Zasu
07-06-2006, 09:51 PM
((I may have to roll an alt just to join Sanctuary...))


Indeed. I love my main guild too much to leave, but an alt could work.
Grisch
07-06-2006, 11:22 PM
((I may have to roll an alt just to join Sanctuary...))

((Indeed, you think I wasn't more than a little miffed when you joined The Grim?))
Grisch
07-07-2006, 12:13 AM
More:
___________________
Keylib: After being told that his specific targetting our members appeared to be an acceptance of his fate:

N00B LOL

ME AND MY FRIENDS
____________________
Jango:
WHAT ARE YOUE VEN TALKING ABOUT?
____________________
Anomander: ((E-peen contestant no.2))

I admit I have killed those weaker than me in the past, but as of late ((At least a month HAHA)) I have only fought those I thought would provide a challenge. Whoever has brought this charge against me is a liar. I am an honorable person. Such charges against me or any of my friends will be seen as an act of aggression against me. You do not want this. Feel free to get in contact with me. To discuss this as honorable people would. Once again, you do not want me as an enemy.
____________________
((Oh, and more from Tholdin. Seriously, I'm thinking of combining his sayings into a book of wisdom or something.))

Tholdin writes: DONT SEND THIS TO ME A GEAN YALL A DUMB ASS GUILD SO PISS OFF

____________________
Shadowspeak
07-07-2006, 12:25 AM
In their defense Grisch, If I got a letter saying "You are now on our KoS list" my letter would read:

"I should allready be on your KoS list from existing. Your'e on mine"

And I would be semi-pissed, just because someone took time out of their day to say that I'm KoS when i should be KoS just from being a Horde.
Leyujin
07-07-2006, 01:27 AM
(( Ok Leyujin, lemme explain, completely out of character here, the point of the KOS list is to have a fairly large list of people we can kill. Yes, we probably will end up with 80% of the Alliance on it. We WANT TO PVP. We're just trying to add some RP flavor to it.

The point is they also each get a chance to get off of it by roleplaying.

All they have to do is ask for redemption and they are given a quest of redemption. If they want to wave their e-peens about and be all hardcore, whether they're IC or OOC, they stay on the list.

Those like Laron who stick to certain rules are safe from us, even if we erronously add them, they still get to appeal. They might get kicked in the danglies first by Vilmah, but well, some things are just unavoidable.

And lastly, goddamn, it's a PvP server, we could just say: "ROFEL N00B L2PVP LOL!!11 PvE---->" instead of adding someone to a KOS list before attacking them.

Hope that clarifies things Leyujin.))

Heh, I see. Well, I guess with your charter you're hardpressed for pvp, so it's an interesting way of getting it.
Grisch
07-07-2006, 01:42 AM
Heh, I see. Well, I guess with your charter you're hardpressed for pvp, so it's an interesting way of getting it.

Oh, you'd be very surprised...
Leyujin
07-07-2006, 02:58 AM
Editted: I guess on account of your guild's philosophy, you would be hardpressed with reasons to attack others. I know you lot have done plenty of pvping.
Fhenrir
07-07-2006, 03:38 AM
((I may have to roll an alt just to join Sanctuary...))


Indeed. I love my main guild too much to leave, but an alt could work.

I'd consider joining if you'd change your tabard...

Purple and Yellow looks like garbage no matter what I'm wearing it with. :P
ChronalisMage
07-11-2006, 08:55 AM
I don't really know any of the people involved but Mutahhar sounds like a fun guy. These are all great, keep it up.
Miserae
07-11-2006, 09:01 AM
-perks her ears- Ooooh...is Tholdin the warrior or the druid? There are two folks in the 40-49 BGs right now that are similar, and I'm particularly partial to fearing the warrior and dot-dot-dotting til he dies somewhere off in the bushes after not getting a single hit upon my delicate little self.

Finding out he's the same fellow discussed here would make it all the better. ^.^
Chingaso
07-11-2006, 09:04 AM
((I may have to roll an alt just to join Sanctuary...))
((Indeed, you think I wasn't more than a little miffed when you joined The Grim?))
((But the Grim is the perfect fit for the Chingaso persona. Maybe I'll even drop a hint before my alt applies for Sanctuary...))