A Zufli Cookbook

[Keeju]

Written completely in troll. Slightly chickenscratch.

I'm fixing the soup recipe. Maybe this will work:

2 gnome hands from different sources.
1 chicken foot
1 old bone
2 chickens, plucked, eyes kept for taste
2 sliced onions
6 ghost mushrooms

Add to soup stock, stir overnight. Make sure to dance naked around the fire and then maybe it will not smell like ass and will actually taste good. Let sit for three weeks in the hot sun and then maybe it will be done.

I think I will offer it to Haqin to cure his cold. Is he still sneezing?

[Keeju]

Cut and pasted pieces added to the next page. 'Keeju' elaborately scribbled on and around in multi colours of indigo, red, and green. There's rough drawings of cats, spiders, and snakes. With a list of names haphazardly written around the edges:

CASTLE!! * Nasuj * Panther * Dessie * Liar Man * Solenev * Sandfury!! Haha! Beat you!

Ulroci da Poet Circled several times.

Magijin * Regnanetah * Trilok * Tetsu

Asmo Asmo Asmo! Fight fight fight!

Remember Solastan need more gift!

Azzie! With a square around it and a crude drawing of a sword.

[Keeju]

Childish orcish.

This be a attempt to write Orcish. I be thinking that I be doing this good. Good try make me happy.

Ulroci so sad lately. I speak with him in Thunder Bluff. Oh this be tough.

The writing switches to the chickenscratch troll.

I see Ulroci from time to time. He left the Hand of Oblivion, or rather it must have broke up. I see such sadness in him and such anger at my relationship with Asmo. Why? I could see the jealousy, but there is nothing to be jealous over. It is only a matter of us chasing after his List. To keep his God and my Loa happy. I feed the Blood God, he feeds his God. It's all good.

Sex is good. They chase after eachother with less of the nobility of rutting animals and more of the stupidity of the jealous and spurned. Crying at night. Clutching to walls. Holding their hands up to the heavens and crying out, Oh why! Oh why! They seem lost and chase after their own kind. In it goes, not out. Haha!

Too much time wasted where they could be dancing in blood or kissing the rain or scalping the heads of their enemies. Like Asmo takes the souls of those who are on his List -- he still won't let me see it no matter what I try -- they take their hearts and feed them to those who hurt them.

Oh Ulroci. I can explain but you would not understand. Threads pull and push us by whichever way that puppetmaster, the Loa takes us. Soon I will join you in Outlands and maybe then you will see. If not, maybe it is time the threads end.

Basic, childish orcish.

I be thinking of Reg. He make me see future strange. So strange. He be pretty.

Back to troll.

What do I have to believe in when I see this path lined up for me with Reg? When I rolled the bones for him, saw his future, I saw him gaining knowledge that he sought. Turtles. So many turtles. Knowledge of magic previously unknown to him and that it would be soon and our paths would cross often and often. Like a turtle, hidden in a shell to come out and while slow on land, smooth and flowing in the ocean.

I gamble with these threads that pull me this way and that. This way. That way. Partnered with a runt?

A rough, scratchy drawing of a spool of thread.

Recipe: Love Triangle

1 Zufli Troll. Witch Doctor.
1 Lone Tauren Hunter
1 Runt Mage
1 Demon Kissing Death Machine

Do not mix ingredients for they will be bound to combust near Zufli Troll. For she is a bad mojo mother.

[Keeju]

On the next page it is overlarge orcish that goes across almost an entire page.

There be pride in Firebloom and Liar Man. All me, there. All me.

Written around it in troll in an oblong circle starting from the top and going all the way around the orcish.

See, those two, that was really what the Loa wanted. I think of all the things I did in Melar Danashj, that was probably the best. I saw in the Liar Man that he was lonely and wanted her. I saw that it would destroy him to love her. So I did what I did to make sure that they could destroy one another.

Love destroys. It is glorious.

Recipe: Styxonev

1 Whore Elf.
1 Liar Elf.
1 Bottle of Troll Mojo.

Cover Liar Man in big mojo. Let next woman he see be whore. They sex. Rinse. Repeat.

[Keeju]

In troll, with a drawing of what looks either to be a bizarre phallus or one of the red rocks of Mulgore.

We did the hunt in Mulgore. I think Chasingstars is pissed I am no longer in the Blood Moon as she was supposed to surrender herself to me when I found her only she ran.

The fact I cheated to find her was beside the point. I am just that smart of a troll.

Also I saw a sexy troll running around out there and he would not stop to have some fun times with me. Males! They are too busy chasing after elves in Silvermoon. Keeju show them!

Recipe: Cooked Chasingstar

1 Chaos Loving Tree
1 Pissed off Keeju
2 Innocent Meeting Points
1 Shadowman

Make Tree believe that you are wanting her to ally herself with the darkness itself. The Loa will work out the rest and you will see the Tree fall. Laugh at will. Go find a male and have some fun.

[Keeju]

Interesting. I pulled out my bones, the older ones that have the better feel in them. With my interest in Tecunuman, old troll old troll, I wondered what Regaboo is up to.

Shook shook shake shake.

They read so I am renewed in my affection for the runt. His power grows and quickly soon. Not just knowing the power that few know, which he now knows. Not just being connected to me, which he is. Something more.

I need divining potion. I will drink it. Maybe see more.

Regaboo Divining Potion

1 Patch of Arch-Mage Regna-N'Etah Shadowflame's fur.
2 Drops of Deep Troll Mojo
3 Jugs of Rumsy Rum
1 Burning Fire
1 Full Moon

Build fire on beach, douse self with mojo, call Reg to come save self. Make fire, feed him booze, dance naked. Find out what is going on.

[Keeju]

Regaboo is the leader of the Grim, but he is being short-sighted. He will actually giving back the role once Malebrignon returns.

I change my focus. I hired Izlude and Shaggi to find this Vuudu. They're gonna kill her or at least dispose of her and take the item. Hopefully for me. This is costing me more than just gold.

Until it's made, I will widen my area of control.

Recipe: Cristok Claim

1 Hand
1 Zufli Troll
1 Bottle of Mojo
1 Empty Promise

Wear mojo, meet Hand in Moonglade. Offer Zufli troll, mate good. Promise after the item is made. Power incoming.

[Keeju]

In troll scrawl.

This is a copy of the soup I sent to Thrall. Good thing I have plenty of dancing with the Alliance and haven't grown fat and flabby while sitting around playing pat pat my butt butt with human women. I cheered for Garrosh last night. Thrall knew his butt was kicked and stopped the fight with an excuse. Go go Warchief Garrosh.

I sent this to Thrall.

In orcish.

More soup for Thrall diet. You get slow and weak after Garrosh kick butt. So I make you soup.

Thrall, take soup two time a day. Eat regular waking meal. You need more? Then here recipe.

1 Plain Chicken Soup Broth
1 Get ass in shape

Add
3 Tomato
2 Fistful Tomato crushed
2 Mug Water
1 Pack of herb you like from outland for spice!
1 Onion
1 Fresh Earthroot
Mixed vegetable from raided Alliance garden. No time to harvest own!

Stew pot over flame. Exercise flabby butt! Not kiss human woman!

Back to troll

Garrosh is very sexy. Thrall is going to be beat.