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Sifar
06-03-2008, 11:56 AM
The small figure sat still amidst the flickering firelight. Her legs were tucked demurely beneath her as she sat on the folded, grey blanket. Her back remained ramrod straight while her shoulders and arms were in constant movement. She bent her head over the task in her lap; a slight grating of stone upon metal sang out as she sharpened a blade. Her loose hair hung like a dark curtain around her face, swaying slightly as the fire danced and leapt next to her. A flash of light spun across the small camp before she leaned forward to place the heavy blade before her knees.

Arrayed next to it were the various tools and bottles of her trade. She brought her favorites closer. She knew their contents by touch, each bottle different in shape for easy recognition in the darkest of places. Maiden’s Anguish and Deathweed stems laid nearby, their bits already combined into liquid distillations: poisons to dull the mind, slow the muscles, and continue to kill even after she is gone. Each bottle is soon tucked into a small pouch at her waist.

Her hands rest a moment on her thighs as she tilted her head to the sky, staring at the stars arrayed overhead. She drew two deep breaths of the cold night air before returning to her preparations. Eyes glazed over as they focused somewhere deep in the heart of the fire. Arms lifting, her fingers began to separate the dark wall of hair into sections. Taking no more than a handful, she separated it further and began to braid. Nimble fingers twisted and grabbed in a constant fluid motion working their way quickly down to the end. A bit of string appeared as if from nowhere and was quickly wrapped and tied around the end. Her right hand moved up to grasp the thickest part of the braid while the other deftly slipped a sharp metal spike deep within the dark strands.

Satisfied it was hidden, she continued to separate, decorate, and arm her braids; a bit of bone in one, a long wire plaited into another. The tiniest of smiles tugged at her otherwise placid face as she added each bead or weapon until, finally, each one was done. Deftly and without a wasted movement, she twisted these together and fixed them as loops around her head. Not a strand was out of place by the time her hands rested once again upon her thighs.

She sat like this for several minutes. Her eyes closed and her face lit by the fire, she silently measured out the time. With a deep breath, she let her head fall back and her eyes open to stare at the stars once again. Satisfied that the time was somehow right, she shifted forward and then up onto her feet. Her face was lit from below by the warm flames until being summarily doused by a pile of dirt and a skin of water.

Her brush, the blanket, each bottle, and even the weedy plants were tucked away before the young Dwarf began her trek north. With the glimmer of a road on her left, she kept to the shadows of the great pine trees and stunted bushes. Occasional rodents scuttled in the underbrush, but most were asleep at this hour. Owls hunted overhead and bright eyes blinked slowly in the darkness and she walked with silent purpose to the shores of a great lake.

Campfires and primitive huts dotted the small cluster of islands as she looked across the expanse of water. The keep on the larger isle appeared dark in the night. She dismissed them both quickly and tried to make out the great walls of the decaying city beyond. Not yet visible, she focused on picking her way along her chosen route. Taking the circuitous, but dryer, path, she followed the western shore wherever she was able.

Her boots somewhat the wetter for the wearing, she eventually left the relative safety of the ancient pine forest for the more open land of Tirisfal. Now, the old city walls were within sight and the rogue crept carefully but quickly along the east-west road. Crossing it, she made her way up and around a steep hill, following the near silent bats which glided overhead. The largest of these carried heavy riders through a barely concealed tunnel entrance and into the city below.

((Okay, so it's the start of a story. I'm posting for two reasons: feedback and as an incentive to finish it.))

Darkweald
06-03-2008, 12:07 PM
[[ I like Sifar. I'm not sure what feedback you're looking for; it's a fine set-up for whatever business you have in the UC. Meaning through subtlety being a characteristic I admire in authors. Continue the story, I say! Let's see what's she's up to.

If you need neutral interaction / discovery, I volunteer this character. She's been hanging 'bout the sewers some lately, corpsifying herself. ]]

Keraph
06-03-2008, 12:51 PM
((I'm looking forward to seeing what you're up to in my city! If you're looking for some very much not-neutral interaction, lemme know, since much of Infection spends it's spare time in the city of our queen))

Amoola
06-03-2008, 12:55 PM
((very good start I think. I'd like to see where it goes. Let me know if you need anything, from a neutral character or an ear to bounce thoughts off of. :) ))

Sifar
06-03-2008, 01:36 PM
((Well, I've never really tried to write like this before: no dialog, no internal monologue, just straight action or observation. I'm aiming for... seeing how much thought I can convey without saying it. If it works, it works. If not, tell me.

As for what's next... *slams head into keyboard* I don't know yet! Still have ideas but need to write something or else the idea is just going to rot on the vine. Thanks for the offers so far, I'll PM if any ideas crop up.))

Sabachthan
06-03-2008, 03:56 PM
(( If that's what you were aiming for, then you're doing a good job, and I applaud you for making a conscious effort to do something different to stretch the writing skills.

The only place where it's not working is that it's hard to display your character's intent when you don't know what it is! As with the previous commentators, I put Sabachthan Ghant up as an evil possibility, though honestly I bet the story would fit better with bumping into Infection.

I know the title is "Working Alone," and I think you should continue the next couple of sections with Sifar as the only character in action to continue to develop the mechanism you're going for, but might I suggest the possibility of: 1) then having non-verbal interaction with a hostile (possibly from Infection) which begets action, continuing on to step it up to 2) coming across a non-hostile / tentative ally on your escape in which none of the communication is vocal, including the thank you and farewell. ))

Sifar
06-06-2008, 08:35 PM
The night air drew out a plume of vapor from below, the fumes tinting it green in the faint light from below. Carefully, she adjusted and tightened her mask around her nose and ears, the only bit of skin uncovered was that around her eyes. Finally satisfied, she took her first step into the maw and disappears into the gloam.

Few, if any, ever traveled this path by foot and she was only passed by bats and windriders above. Just as she was about to enter the canal area, she gave the inattentive construct a mock salute. While someone gave the abomination eyes, he or she neglected to teach it to use them. Stealthing down the steep, narrow passageway, her walk was unhindered and she soon saw the green waters flowing before her feet.

Her stomach clenched and she doubled over for a moment on the first landing. Looking left and right, no one had noticed her entrance. Taking a deep breath, she forced her body to adjust to the stench. Steady again, she began to follow the right-hand wall. By shifting left or right, pausing to let someone pass, or tossing a tiny distraction she remained undetected upon reaching the so-called research area of the RAS.

((just one step closer))